Throwaway for obvious reasons.
I hate being a mom. I never wanted kids, I was thriving in my career, traveling the world and getting paid for it. I had so many options and possibilities for my life. I loved my life and I never felt like a child was missing from it.
Fast forward: I met a guy at work. He was my dream guy and everything I ever could have wanted. He didn’t want kids either (so I thought). Well, long story short (even on birth control) I ended up pregnant and while I was crying and freaking out, he was over the moon (almost as if it was intended or planned). I thought about ending the pregnancy but he was so excited to be a dad and I couldn’t bear to lose him so I figured as long as I had this amazing man as my kids dad I’d be okay and we’d figure it out. WRONG. This was 11 months into our relationship (we were best friends about 2 years leading up to dating)…we ended up married a couple weeks later…another thing I never really wanted to do or at least not rush into but my grandpa was a pastor and told us we had to “do the right thing”.
My mindset on kids changed during my pregnancy, I was happy and my marriage was for the most part amazing. Once our child was born, my husband was the most amazing father and I was a pretty good mother I think. I suffered really bad from PPD and constantly thought about unaliving myself and my baby but I got help and things got better. And my husband picked up the slack ten fold. He was honestly the perfect dad and gave me everything I needed to focus on getting better.
My husband was gone a lot for work again after our son turned 1 and I was stuck being a full time single, working mom. I was moved to a position in the company that didn’t require me to travel anymore, a desk job, and I hated it. My husband was off seeing the world and I was playing house by myself. As you can imagine the marriage fell apart after a couple years of this and he stopped being a good father. For about a year he stopped showing up completely. My child started acting out more (entering the terrible twos and threes) and I kept telling myself “it’s just a phase, it’ll get better.” Well…it didn’t and I’m f***ing miserable.
I ended up losing my job all together because I was a single mom and struggling mentally with the divorce and being the only caregiver for a child I never wanted. I went back to school, my sons father now sees him again more, I started a new career (that I kinda hate) and the more time I have to spend with my kid, the more I resent him. He’s annoying, he cries constantly, I don’t have the patience. I want him to live with his dad full time but his dad still travels for work and can’t take him. I feel like a horrible parent, I know I’m not a good one, I can see that. I wasn’t cut out for this shit. All these men guilt child free women into motherhood and then leave them completely responsible for a kid they don’t want. This kid destroyed my relationship, my career, my life and I’m supposed to act like I’m happy about it. It wasn’t his fault and I know that, I made the choice to keep him…and I regret it. He’s a good kid for the most part and obviously I love him more than anything. I just don’t particularly like him. I don’t know what to do anymore, but I’m all he has. His dad is physically around but since the divorce, he’s a shell of his former self and doesn’t act like the father he was. He doesn’t really do anything with our son, just sticks him on the couch with a tablet and occasionally talks to him.
One day my son is my best friend and little sidekick but the next 5 days he’s screaming and crying constantly and I’m shutting down. I don’t know how to break out of this and be a good mom. My kid deserves at least one half decent parent. He’s set up for life, he’ll be able to go to any university of his choosing, have nice things, and good experiences. But that’s not parenting. I want to be a good mom, I tell myself every morning “today we will do better” but 5 minutes in he does some dumb shit and I start yelling again. I’m so angry all the time and I want to stop it. I want to enjoy my kid. I’ve started therapy, gotten on medication, tried gentle parenting and he just cries all the time and blatantly ignores me. It’s like nothing works and I just end up in bed all day wishing he would leave me alone or counting down the minutes until his dad picks him up and I get to be free.

In today's digital age, data storage has become an essential requirement for individuals and businesses alike. The Western Digital My Cloud is a top-of-the-line solution that provides a convenient and secure way to store and access your data. This article explores the features of the Western Digital My Cloud and its benefits for users.
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In conclusion, the Western Digital My Cloud is a powerful and reliable solution for data storage. Its security features, connectivity options, and ease of use make it an excellent choice for individuals and businesses alike. If you're looking for a high-quality data storage solution, be sure to check out Raksmart's range of Western Digital My Cloud devices on their website.

To love you. I wish you weren’t the first and last thought in my mind everyday. I wish you didn’t live rent free in my heart mind and body.
How am I supposed to breathe? When your my air.
How am I supposed to survive? When you are my life.
I love you so much you couldn’t even comprehend. I think of our future and see us sitting outside on our wrap around patio swinging from our hammock chairs. Who does that? Someone who loves you, which I do.
I told you warned you and made it clear what my boundaries were and what I couldn’t handle. You refused to listen and I refused to let you go. So instead we tortured each other for months only causing two people who were so in love with one another to lose trust and any hopes for a future together. How did we manage to fuck up this once beautiful magical connection we have. I don’t even know but I do know we tried and we loved laughed and lived.
I’m going to take some time to get myself together to handle being your friend and only that. Emotionally I’m not ready for that I’m not ready to forget I’m in love with you. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget, it breaks my heart.
What is a life worth living if your not in it. You make the sun shine brighter on cloudy days. You make food (even your salty ass food) taste better. You make the moon jealous because you light up my darkness with just a smile. I don’t know how to let go of perfection but what choice do I have when I’m tearing it apart.
Te amo baby always Don’t be mad I’ll come back around as soon as I can I promise

Epic Games appears to have jumped the gun and revealed the "mystery game" that is set to unlock as a free offering in the Epic Games Store today. In a now-deleted Twitter post, the official Epic Games Store account let the cat out of the bag, saying Grand Theft Auto V will ride into town, and that once you claim it, the game is "yours to keep forever."
Free games on a weekly basis is one of major incentives Epic Games came up with to entice players (and by extension, developers as well) over to its digital distribution platform. Not without controversy, Epic Games also inks exclusive deals, whereby some titles are only available on the Epic Games Store for a period of time before heading over to Steam.
As far as the former goes, GTA V is a pretty big draw still today, five years after it was initially released to PC. It follows Death Coming, a fun and addictive little title that is still free at the time of this writing, until 11:00am ET (8:00am PT).
While Epic Games saw fit to delete its Twitter post revealing GTA V as the next free title, it was captured and archived by Wario64. "Get Grand Theft Auto V free on PC until May 21. Yours to keep forever on the Epic Games Store," the tweet read, accompanied by a video reveal.
Epic Games Store Grand Theft Auto V (the "mystery game") unlocks as a free title at 11:00am ET today at the Epic Games Store
According to the countdown timer for a mystery game at the Epic Games Store, GTA V will unlock at 11:00am ET (8:00am PT), the same time Death Coming ceases to be free (or by the time your read this). If you've held off playing all this time, today is your chance to reward your patience.
Some things have changed since we reviewed GTA V. One of the big draws these days is Grand Theft Auto Online, a free online multiplayer extension. In addition to being able to team up on missions, there are role playing servers that add a deeper element, for those who are interested in that sort of thing.
Once the time arrives, head over to the Epic Games Store to claim GTA V.

Right. I have to be careful with this. Will mainly make sense to uk folks I work for a construction company and today I was working in this guys house. Strange fella, didn't like him. Heard him on a couple of teams calls and turns out he's a tory Councillor.
So I googled his name.
Turns out he's been in disciplinary trouble multiple times for discriminatory comments and for his behaviour around females. Without revealing too much.
He's an absolute lizard of a man.
What kind of japes and high jinks could I play with him just by having his address? Free ideally so they're more sustainable long term but a small cost wouldn't be the end of the world.
All good light hearted fun obviously.

hey everyone! 29 yr old female, CW: 255. having my surgery in one week from today and i’m both excited and nervous. i have a few questions:
i’ve read on here that a lot people experience intense gas pain. any tips for getting rid of that? i think a few people mentioned walking. i also hear that the constipation is REAL so can i use similar strategies to help with that as well?
i’m also a bit worried about dehydration because the NP told me that i should only be taking one sip at a time, not gulping my liquids. makes it seem kind of impossible to get all those fluids down if i can only do one sip at a time… any tips for reaching hydration goals?
lastly, any essential post-op things to know or to buy before i go into surgery?
i definitely get a bit of health anxiety (even before i decided to get the surgery) so i know this may be challenging for me in some ways, but i’m also feeling beyond empowered to start my new life!!! any tips, tricks, or words of encouragement are so appreciated! i’m super grateful for this community!

Hello, I have been on a 10mg dose of Escitalopram (often sold under brand names of Lexapro and Cipralex) for a year now. I had today a call with my psychiatrist and he believes it's a good time to start tapering off. He suggests to take at least 10 days to do it but i can take as long as I want.
I am very worried about the withdrawal symptoms. Even if it's a low dosage I had some strong reactions while adjusting to it in the beginning so want to get off it as smoothly as possible.
Can anyone with a similar experience let me know how long I should plan the tapering off period to be?
Tips and tricks are most welcome.
Thanks!

Marcos is a gratet leader❤️💚, he have tallano bold, he have yamashita 🅱️old.Iyak kakampwet😝😝😝😝😛😝😝😛😛😛😝😛😝😝😝😝😝😝😝Line Logaw 😝😝🅱️😝😛😝😛😝😝😛🤮🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Keko matseng😝😝🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Lenlen loser🤣🤣🤣😝😝😛😝😛😝88m-kut(sara) forever❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️😝❤️💚💩💚❤️😝❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚💩💚💩💚💩❤️❤️💩💚❤️💚💩💚💩💩💩🅱️❤️💚💩❤️💩❤️💩💚💩❤️💩💚💩❤️💩💚💩❤️💩❤️❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚💩💚❤️💚❤️🅱️❤️💚💩❤️💚❤️❤️❤️💚❤️💚💩💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚💩❤️💚❤️❤️💚💩💩💚❤️❤️❤️💚💚💚❤️❤️💚❤️💚💩❤️💩💚💩💚❤️💚💩❤️🅱️💩❤️❤️🅱️💩💚❤️🅱️❤️💚💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚💩💚❤️❤️❤️💚❤️❤️💩💩💚❤️💩❤️💚❤️😭💩May prooves💚❤️ ako:❤️💚To be a Miss Universe is both an honor and a responsibility. If I were to be Miss Universe, I will use my voice to influence the youth, and I would raise awareness to certain causes like HIV awareness, that is timely and relevant to my country, which is the Philippines. I want to show the world—the universe, rather—that I am confidently beautiful with a heart💚❤️💚❤️💚😝💚💩💚I work a lot in the slums of Tondo Manila and the life there is very it’s poor. And it’s very sad and I’ve always taught myself to look for the beauty in it. To look in the beauty in the faces of the children and to be grateful. And I would bring this aspect as a Miss Universe to see situations with a silver lining and to assess where I could give something where I could provide something as a spokesperson. And this I think if I could teach also people to be grateful, we could have an amazing world where negativity could not grow and foster and children would have a smile on their face. Thank you!❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚💩Oh, the same things I do. I think if he has been on the moon for so long. I think when he comes over, he wants to change.❤️💚❤️💚❤️💩A house and lot, because it's the most expensive thing and I can't afford it. If I have a million bucks, I'll buy a house and lot and live by myself, and other people of course💚❤️💚💩💚💩💩💩💚💩💩💩For me Miss Universe is not about being able to speak a particular language, it’s about being able to influence and inspire other people. No matter what language you have as long as you have the heart you can inspire other people.”❤️💚❤️💚💚❤️💩💩💩💩😭💩😝💩😝❤️😝💩😝😝😝😝💩❤️❤️💩😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😛😝😛😝😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😝😛😛😛😛😛😝😛😛😝😛😝LeN! LuGaW 😜🤪😜😐😜😶😏😏😋Ano??? Lalaban pa kayo mga kakampwet😝😝😛💩 lenlen loser kayo😝😝🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Kakampwet kayo🤣🤣🤣😝😝 kain kayo ng tae ni line logaw💩💩💩💩💩💩😝😝😝🤣🤣🤣Haha line looooogggaaawww😫😫😫❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚💚😎😎😎😎😎😎...... ... ...... .... ....obviously satire lol

Shalom everyone,
Many people believe different things about feast and holy days. What does the bible say? Let's put this to the test of the written Torah and the living Torah.
Well, many might be surprised that the bible never mentions Easter. Le me explain; it is mentioned in Acts 12:4, of the King James Version but if we use a bible tool such as the Blue Letter Bible, we can see that it is Strong's G3957, and that the Greek word is used 28 times to refer to Passover, and only once is used to mean the Easter in the modern term. Did Easter exist in the first century? No it didn't. Even in Acts 12 at verse 3, "(And because he saw it pleased the Jews, he proceeded further to take Peter also. (Then were the days of unleavened bread.)" here we can read that they actually meant Passover and the feast of Unleavened Bread". Why the translators decided to change the original text is beyond me.
Easter is a man-made holiday and has nothing to do with God's appointed times and seasons. In fact, nothing of Easter of today, such as lent and all the other traditions are simply that: traditions. Moreover, some of those traditions actually have their roots in Pagan traditions that symbolize rituals of fertility, that is why modern Easter mixes in rabbits, eggs and chocolate; all of which are considered aphrodisiacs or symbols of fertility. Nowhere in scripture are we commanded by Father to observe any such thing. Let's see what the bible actually says about the spring feast.
Exodus Chapter 12 describes what the children of Israel were commanded to do at that time. They were to choose a lamb that was unblemished, take it in for two weeks, then kill it. They would then take some of the blood and spread it with hyssop on the doorposts and upper door post of their house. Finally, the lamb had to be roasted over a fire and consumed that same night. If some of it remained, it had to be burned in fire the next day. Before the day of Passover, they also had to rid their houses of leaven and for the next eight days, no leaven could come in their houses or be eaten.
The first and the last day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread is also a high Shabbat where no work can be performed. Exodus 12:14 also states that this is an ordinance for ever. That is what the bible says.
I mentioned these verses to a pastor one day, and he told me that God does not always mean forever! Really? I believed God, rather than a man. What do you believe? Do you believe God or a man? I found it appalling that a so-called pastor would go against God's commands in such a blatant way. This pastor would rather follow men's ways and observe Easter than to observe God's commands. I put him with the other blind teachers. What did Yeshua say? "And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch (Matt 15:14)." Here was the representative of a church, that believes they are the last good church on the planet, teaching the sheep to break God's commands.
Yeshua (aka Jesus) shared his last supper with his apostles as the Passover meal. We see this in Luke 22:14-16. "And when the hour was come, he sat down, and the twelve apostles with him. [15] And he said unto them, With desire I have desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer: [16] For I say unto you, I will not any more eat thereof, until it be fulfilled in the kingdom of God."
If its good enough for Yeshua, it's good enough for me.
It is important to mention that since the destruction of the temple, there is no place or Levite priest for us to prepare the Passover lamb. So not all of Father's commands can be done at the moment. Alas that does not prevent us from doing all the other commands of the PassoveFeast of Unleavened Bread, that we may do. My take: I love my Father and my Master and do as much as I can to honor Him, His ways and His commands. We can eat bitter herbs, we can set aside those high Shabbats and do not work, and we can purge the leaven from our houses (and our hearts).
John 14:15 "If ye love me, keep my commandments." PassoveFeast of Unleavened Bread this year starts at sunset April 5th and lasts until sunset April 13, 2023. The lunar calendar can be difficult to master. We use the dates from a teacher we have tested. You can learn more at this link: Triumph in Truth
I’m going to end this post with a little bit of a witness. The first time my wife and I did the Passover and Feast of Unleavened bread, we were blessed beyond belief. We learned a great deal why the Passover is and Yeshua’s sacrifice at the cross is so important. We learned from the spirit, and it testified to us the importance of keeping the feast. Father blesses those who do things His way. I encourage all to learn more and do the feasts. In them are the treasures greater than gold and silver.
Don't take it from me. Do your own research. Prove all things.
Peace, VN

Not DIRECTLY related to UFO/UAP, but I can’t help but recall the fantastic post from u/Puzzleheaded-Tone589 a few weeks back re: bright light in middle of night being chased by Blackhawk:
https://www.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/11m0khblackhawk_chased_something_over_my_house_last/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
Hope this meets posting standards, really just posting in order to get anyone else thoughts - mainly - does anyone else think it’s strange that there seems to be an increase of aviation lately? The timing of these Blackhawks going down in the middle of the night is just, interestingggg to me, and that’s all I’m gonna say. I believe there is a press conference scheduled on this today.
(Downvoters/cynics… please be gentle)
EDIT: forgot to include link to story (oops): https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna77350

Hi all, first time poster here! I donated platelets and plasma yesterday, it was a pretty rough experience and I’m trying to wrap my head around what happened - it was successful, they got a good draw, but man it kicked my butt and I’m not sure platelets/plasma are a good idea for me again.
I’ve donated whole blood before, platelets/plasma first time yesterday. I’m on a diuretic for an ear condition (Hctz) it wasn’t on the list of medications to avoid but I’m thinking this could be a contributor to my experience? I’m sure it makes my hydration levels funky and messes up a bunch of my electrolytes, potentially calcium levels too? Wondering about this anticoagulant…
All my vitals were good when we started, they told me my veins were good but they weren’t “staying up for long” so they were concerned for the returns. They got it to work, everything was fine for the first few minutes, but my draw pressure kept dropping each time and I’d get the weird vibration in my arm, but I was able to keep it okay by squeezing the ball a lot.
Now this is where I’m not sure if I was having an anxiety attack or more - this didn’t feel like my usual anxiety, but maybe it was just a really really bad one?
I had 3 different episodes in my hour of intense hot flashes, greying out, lightheaded out of body experience, and extreme tiredness, I must not have looked okay because they kept coming over to me- they kept me okay with ice packs and tilting me back and cookies and Gatorade. I’d return back to normal a few minutes later but really cold (I’ve got raynauds syndrome so always cold, especially with an ice pack on me) It seemed like it was happening during my draws, not during the returns.
The last few minutes were awful but the nurse stood with me and kept asking if we could finish the countdown and we did. They took my vitals after we finished, and the first nurse said she couldn’t hear it and just stood and felt for my pulse. The second nurse found it and my blood pressure had gone down to 90, but it hard started at 120 something. I felt like I wasn’t in my body anymore. They kept me for about a half hour and it went back to a normal range. I’ve never felt that weird before in my life.
I slept the entire afternoon yesterday, felt nauseous, fatigued, confused, muscle aches and my calf muscles feel crappy like I had an intense workout. My kidney area feels like it hurts a lot today.
Can anyone with more experience explain what happened? I’d love to help the cause but now I’m afraid to do this route again and I think I should stick to whole blood.

Guys… after a week of work I finally defeated the crimson avatar. Only to lose the staff (cracked red moon) in Harmattan when I died a few times.🥹 Is there any way to retrieve this staff? I am sooo sad to have lost it and probably shouldnt get emotionally attached to weapons or builds but STILL lol, I worked so hard

Not DIRECTLY related to UFO/UAP, but I can’t help but recall the fantastic post from u/Puzzleheaded-Tone589 a few weeks back re: bright light in middle of night being chased by Blackhawk:
https://www.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/11m0khblackhawk_chased_something_over_my_house_last/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
Hope this meets posting standards, really just posting in order to get anyone else thoughts - mainly - does anyone else think it’s strange that there seems to be an increase of aviation lately? The timing of these Blackhawks going down in the middle of the night is just, interestingggg to me, and that’s all I’m gonna say. I believe there is a press conference scheduled on this today.
(Downvoters/cynics… please be gentle 🐻)

Hello,
You have been chosen for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. As of today, you will be given the choice of altering one specific aspect of your life. Your choice will be minor in the grand scheme, but nonetheless will provide an improvement to your lifestyle in some way or another. Once you make a decision, you cannot change it. Here are your options:
​

1. You will never receive an unwanted spoiler in a film, book, tv show, or any other entertainment media. Fate will rewrite itself to prevent you from getting notified how your favorite book story ends, or if your favorite character dies, or that big twist on who the killer is in the show unless you specifically request it.
   
2. You will automatically obtain any limited time event items/accessories in whatever video game you start or are currently playing. Pre-order bonuses physical and/or digital that you didn't want to spend extra on getting, special microtransactions that are no longer available, or in-game event items, mounts, titles, and outfits that will not ever return, they're all yours for free. All you have to do is pay for the game one time. This also includes bonuses in the future, but you'll have to wait until they become available to obtain them. You still have the option to unlock it on your own if you wish.
   
3. You will always receive a guaranteed free meal once a month. You'll never be able to predict how, when, or why, but you'll get enough of a serving that will fill you that you'll enjoy.
   
4. You can make a single minor cosmetic change about yourself, such as natural hair, eyes, or slightly lighten/darken your skin tone. Or you can increase or decrease your natural height by two inches. These are just a few examples. It cannot be anything extreme such as sex change, gaining bulging muscles, adding an additional body part, etc.
   

First Previous
Memory Transcription Subject: Vani, venlil foreign exchange participant
Date [Standardized Human Reckoning]: 2136–09-24
We stayed one more night in Surabaya, looking around the city before we moved out.
"So… where do we go from here?" I asked Johan.
"Well, we can go to Udayana University on the island of Bali then back to Jakarta. If you want we can explore further to the west from there."
Johan explained to me in detail about the bridges that connected the islands of Nusantara to its mainland counterpart. He showed me a map, pointing out a route to the Malacca peninsula in the north through Sumatra, an island to the west of Java.
"Thanks to these bridges, we can travel to the mainland and beyond by land vehicle alone," he said. "We can go to the University of North Sumatra and then head to the University of Malaya in Kuala Lumpur."
Johan then suggested that we could go south from there to visit the University of Singapore in the Singapore Autonomous District. By then we would have plenty of time to think about our next destinations.
On Thursday morning, Johan and I set out from the southeast, making our way along the coast before heading south to Tengger National Park which encompasses several volcanoes. We drove deeper into the national park through a place called the sand sea of Tengger, the only desert-like area on the island. The road through it was far beyond being automaton-grade. It was more like a suggestion on where to drive, than being an actual road.
After a while, the sand sea stopped, giving way to a grassy field. We stopped at a small shack beside a giant water tower that provided amenities to people passing by. We decided to have our mid-meal there outside, surrounded by the vast expanse of untouched wilderness. When I looked around, I realized that the fear I had felt when we visited Tangkuban Parahu was no longer present. Instead, I felt a sense of awe at the rugged green walls of the vast caldera. The only sounds we could hear were the gentle rustle of the wind and the distant voice of other humans who were also setting up a picnic.
Just before we embarked on the bridge towards Bali, Johan took me to see the Ijen mountain, which he said would have lava inside. I was not sure why the promise of seeing liquid rock at a dangerous distance excited me, but I said "yes" anyway.
Unlike the crater in Tangkuban Parahu, we had to park the van quite far from it and took a three-hour hike uphill. I felt like something was off when the travel guide in our pad told us that the lava could only be seen at night, but we set off at the early hour of the day anyway, knowing that it would wreak havoc on our sleep schedules. I was eager to experience my first-ever trek and I can deal with the sleep deprivation later.
The air was so chill that I thought I would not need my cooling vest, but Johan brought it along, just in case. He even wore more concealing fabric to protect himself from the cold. We also need to bring gas masks with us because of the risk of encountering noxious gasses. The mask that Professor Ratni had given me during my early days on the island proved to be very useful here.
So, with everything prepared, we started our hike.
Back when I first visited earth, the thought of taking an arduous journey on a volcano with a chance of inhaling poison sounded ridiculous to me. But here I am, walking with my human admiring the scenery surrounding us. The trek was challenging and I did need to rest every once in a while. But thanks to the frequent pause, I managed to reach the top with Johan having to carry me.
From the edge of the crater, I could see the fumes rising from the active vents. The heat was intense, and the taste of sulfur in the air was overpowering, but according to monitors set around the crater, it was not at a dangerous level.
"Is that the lava?" I pointed to the blue glowing substance at the bottom of the crater, partially obscured by white fumes. "Why... is it blue?"
"You know... I never actually looked into why the lava in the mountain is blue."
After we both consulted the human network, it turned out that those are burning sulfur.
"Oh man, I'm sorry, I thought those were lava."
"There is no need for an apology. This is still beautiful."
Johan and I found a large rock to rest and take in the view. Slowly the night sky gained a faint red color at the horizon and finally, the sun appeared from the horizon, casting a golden glow over the entire scene. With the light in the sky illuminating the ground below, I can see the acidic turquoise-blue lake in sharp contrast with the surrounding dark rocks.
We climbed down with less difficulty, but as soon as I entered the van, the fatigue from hours of walking crashed upon me and I fell into a deep sleep. I did not think that any venlil had ever managed to walk for that long.
When I woke up, we had arrived in Banyuwangi, a city located near the inter-island bridge that connected Java to Bali. We only slept for a bit more than half a claw, determined to keep to our schedule and return our sleep cycle to normal. After a night in Banyuwangi, we proceed towards the island to the east of us. The bridge's wall was too high for us to see anything but the sky and I spent my time with Johan practicing each other's language and playing some games. It did not take long before a sign came into view, welcoming us to the island. Underneath the familiar Latin script was an unfamiliar Balinese script with flowing curves that looked much softer than the Javanese script.
When we drove toward the southern end of the island where Udayana University was located we passed an endless sprawl of farms with some temples in between. The signs of civilization began to appear more and more frequently until we arrived at the city where our van had to weave through the narrow streets, passing by various clay brick buildings which dominated the architecture of the city. Despite the density, there were no tall buildings to be seen. I asked Johan about this and he explained that there's an old law in Bali that buildings are not allowed to be higher than a tall palm tree.
With no tall building, it felt less restricting to see up to the sky.
When we arrived at the university, we learned that just like the University of Nusantara, Udayana University has its Faculty of Medicine located in Denpasar, far to the north.
"You know what," Johan said. "Let's just see around Kuta."
After a short drive north, we arrived in Kuta, which turned out to be a long, narrow strip of land bustling with tourists from all over the region. We walked down the west part of the strip. To my left lay the Kuta beach, a stunning expanse of white sand with humans in minimal covering doing all sorts of activities, from lounging under an umbrella to playing in the sea. To our right was a series of establishments, such as restaurants, hotels, grocery stores, and handicraft shops.
There were also some businesses unique to humans, such as laundry facilities where humans washed their fabrics and surfboard rental shops where humans rented a device they use to ride the wave on the sea. The sun was beating down upon us, but luckily, the shaded walkway provided relief from the heat.
Another thing I noted here was the difference in skin color between the locals and the tourists. The tourists had a pale pink complexion, and many of them had lighter-colored hair, which was different from the black hair of the locals. They were all dressed in light clothing, much like Johan, and some of them even wore only a pair of wide bands wrapped around their hips and chest. I have seen pale humans before during my stay in Java, but never to this amount.
A lot of people around us spoke in languages that I had never heard before. I recognized English as a language that many people here used, but there were many others that my translator could not parse. The tourist also had less hesitation in approaching us. We were stopped several times by tourists who wanted to take a picture with us. It got too much that even my human had to decline.
"Okay, so this is a bad idea," Johan said after he had to refuse a group of humans carrying surfboards.
"I think this is an interesting place."
I heard a growling sound coming out of my human's stomach.
"Look." I pointed to a dining establishment several tens of meters down the street. "It said" Vegetarian Italian Restaurant. The Lasagna I ate weeks ago is Italian right?"
"We probably need to order you something with less dairy. But, yeah... It has been a while since I ate some pasta. Let's go!"
We found ourselves in a restaurant with an outdoor seating area. Across the street, through the people walking, we can see a view of the Kuta beach to the west. The waitstaff seated us and gave us the menu. After some skimming, Johan pointed out that this establishment offers an alternative in the form of "vegan cheese" which contains no lactose and would not cause indigestion. Johan decided to order a big pizza with slices of aubergine and courgette on it. From the picture, I could see that the pizza was an open-baked flatbread drenched in red sauce.
I was famished when our pizza arrived, and the taste it exuded into the air made my mouth water and my stomach grumble with hunger. When I took my first bite, I was not disappointed. The pizza was bursting with flavor, and the combination of the soft and chewy bread with the tangy sauce, the gooey cheese, and the roasted vegetables was perfect. To my surprise, I could not tell the difference between this and the cheese that caused the lasagna incident a while ago. After taking a bite of the pizza, my human was as surprised as I was about the texture of this plant-based product.
As we finished our mid-meal, a pale-skinned human approached us. Judging from their uniform, she was not a tourist, and I think from the way she looked she was a woman.
"Hi, my name is Edna. Did you enjoy your meal?" She asked in English. Her vowels sounded muddier but more natural than Johan' intoned English.
"We have a complimentary dish for you." The restaurant staff put two bowls containing white balls before us. "Don't worry, this is made out of coconut milk. So our venlil friend here won't get an upset stomach."
I took a scoop of the ball with the spoon provided. When I brought it near my mouth I could feel the coldness emanating from it.
"Oh, this is a frozen beverage." I mused. I put the white substance and it melted on my tongue. Once again, the taste was a pleasant surprise for my tongue.
"You have ice cream too?" she asked.
"We do not have anything resembling milk, or even coconut milk. Our frozen beverage is made by freezing drinks into a block of ice which we then shave into tiny crystals."
"Oh! Shaved ice!" she exclaimed, "yeah... we have shaved ice too."
I took another spoonful of the ice cream, the savouriness of the coconut milk combined with the complex sweet taste into something delicious.
"Do you… run the café?" Johan asked, also enjoying his ice cream.
"As a manager, yes. My wife is from here and she's the one who owns the cafe. It's close to impossible for a foreigner here to own a business, you know."
"Are you a colonist?" I asked.
"Ughh... Vani..." Johan said, his voice sounding exasperated "You can't just call people colonists."
"Heh, it's alright," Edna answered. "Back in Australia, you could say that I descended from colonists. But... even then we can't choose where we are born, can we?"
I nodded at her remark.
"But here? a better word would be immigrant. I came here almost ten years ago, worked, fell in love, got permanent residence, and..." she gestured around." The rest is history."
"Is it hard to get used to the climate here?" Johan asked.
The human chuckled again. "I was born and raised in Darwin. The climate there is not that different from here."
My knowledge of Earth's geography was limited, but I did know that Australia was a giant landmass located to the southeast of where we were. Johan had told me that Australians were one of the many humans who spoke English as their native language.
"Most of the tourists here are from Australia are they not?"
"Yeah. Nowadays my compatriots have been spreading toward the east too. Why... just a few days ago some Aussie bulé got bitten by a komodo dragon."
"Edna!" We heard someone shouting her name. The human rolled her pupil and sighed.
"Sorry, gotta go. Enjoy your stay, yeah?"
After our mid-meal, Johan had to return to work, and I had some studying to do. However, we had some time to spare before our last meal of the day. The human suggested we visit a meditation center. The calming fragrance filled the air in the establishment. When the session started we were instructed to sit and take deep breaths while listening to soothing music. The instructor also reminded us from time to time how to deal with thoughts that kept pestering us.
When we stepped out of the meditation center, the sun hung low on the horizon, shining toward us. The warm glow of the sun combined with the lingering effects of the calming ritual left me feeling more at ease than I have ever been before. The fact that the humans came up with a ritual like this was just another proof of the mastery of their feeling.
However, all this feeling of tranquility was marred when the news of the human invasion of Gojid's Cradle reached us. My first reaction was confusion, but the news piece brought up the incident with the rogue Gojid captain. Frustratingly, this escalated to the Gojid government declaring an invasion on earth, and the humans were forced to take preemptive action to protect themselves from a promised attack.
The humans may have had solid reasons, but it did not make it any less tragic. It was hard to reconcile my serene experience today with the reality of the galaxy outside. Will there ever be a time when we could coexist in peace without fear of aggression?
Memory Transcription Subject: Vichak, venlil school principal
Date [Standardized Human Reckoning]: 2136–09-26
Sirkal, the advocate, demanded that my teacher and I only reply to any message from Kiyat's advocate by redirecting it to his client's advocate. We also involved Pentra's dad in the case. It was a challenging situation, and looking back, it was almost miraculous that our school managed to survive this long without any legal trouble until now. Sirkal was ruthless and the advocate representing Kiyat dropped out. Though it looked more like his client ran out of funds to pay for him.
Amid the lawsuit. It seemed that Baslik did spread the existence of our school to his community. Because we seemed to attract the attention of scholars and scientists from neighboring regions. Some came from as far as two claws away from Kleran, expressing interest in observing the way we teach our students. It was clear that many of our visitors were... wired differently, and it was only after they became comfortable observing the children that they dropped their veneer of normality.
As the visits became more frequent, my teachers and I realized that we needed to approach certain topics with caution. One of the most sensitive topics was the concept of predator disease. While we disagree with the classification that our society came up with, we knew that challenging this concept head-on could result in trouble. Instead, we insist on describing our students as having neurodevelopmental issues. This approach had the added benefit of relieving some parents who may have been worried that their children were showing signs of predator disease.
Overall, the influx of prying eyes didn't worry as much as the news from far away. Right now, humans are invading Gojid's Cradle and our social media was awash with new negative sentiments against humans. People said that the humans finally showed their true colors. Even as the reason for the invasion makes complete sense to me, it still made me... bad. I have the privilege of being able to reach Chef Timür about it, so... after making sure he was awake and free, I called him.
"Look, I'm just a botanist turned chef." Said the human after I asked him about the invasion.
"Yes, but you're also serving our high magistrates and even the governor, what do they think about it?"
"I didn't stay long enough in their dining room. You know I can't tell you your state secret, even if I manage to overhear something."
"Sorry about that. Well... how do you feel about it?"
"Okay." The human paused. "Well... I wish we didn't have to do this. But, you know the reason as well as I do. This is a preventative measure. We're not trying to conquer them."
"But... isn't this just another form of aggression?" I asked.
"Well yes... but if we don't act, many humans could die. It's not a decision we take without thorough consideration. I bet your government would do the same in our position."
"I see your point, but many Gojids will die instead.."
"Trust me, we humans have laws of war. We will only target military installations, the civilians will be safe."
The concept of the "law of war" was unfamiliar to me so I asked him about it. Timür then explained to me that the Law of War is a set of rules and principles that govern the conduct of armed conflict. The human then proceeded to give me the details.
The law of war includes rules on the protection of civilians and prisoners of war, the prohibition of certain weapons and tactics, and the obligation to provide medical care to the wounded, even if they're your enemy.
"Why would you heal your enemy?" I asked.
"Wait you don't?"
"I think we give wounded enemies a mercy execution but... don't quote me on this."
"Ya Rabbi... bize yardım et," he said something in his native language before switching to English again. "Yes Vichak, we heal enemy combatants, because... it's the right thing to do."
There was a pause before another he continued.
"It's the human thing to do."
Humans have convinced me that they are capable of compassion and... it was evident in the way they interacted with animals, both domesticated and wild, treating them with care and respect. This made me realize that if humans could extend such compassion to animals, it made sense that they would also do the same to sapient beings, even those who had been hostile toward them before.
The news about the invasion still didn't sit right with me, but I have hope that the humans will stay true to their word and minimize the casualty.
Afterwords: This is the end of the beginning.

I had one of the best VA hotline phonecalls today in the long and voluminous history of calling the VA. Found out that I'm in PFD and that someone was looking at it as recently as yesterday. Also got information on my FOIA for C-file claim that got closed without them actually sending me anything (VA fuck-up, getting fixed. They closed it and did not send anything or send a letter stating what they were or were not sending to me. Been 1 1/2 months since it was closed. VA can see they didn't send shit and the number for the people handling FOIA is as useless as cum soaked tp with a phone line that never worka)
I know we as a group (vets) generally love to spotlight shitty service (rightfully so imho) but also think it's good to highlight the times they are on it. Today is one of the latter. So as I drink my water for checking my claim, cheers to those at VA busting there ass to take care of vets. At times it seems like the minority of staff, but today I felt important and heard.

First Prev Next Royal Road
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Waking up after spending the night back in a cuddle-puddle for the first time in weeks was a surprising experience to his ‘night watch’ geared brain. He had awoken twice, a lethargic thought to check who was on watch so that he might relieve them being stunted by the bodies pressed to his own before he groggily buried his face in the nearest fur-pile and went back to sleep.
Sahari and Nalah had joined them, something that he was rather thankful for, if only for the return to normalcy, but Joseph had been mildly disappointed that there was nothing going on between them yet. It was just a matter of time, but, if they keep it up, he might channel Tel’s mischievous side and force the matter. He just needed to know how to. He mentally shrugged, deciding to ask the grey-furred female at some point since she had known the ex-Grand Huntress the longest.
He lazily rubbed his face into the soft fur he found himself resting on, a light touch of a paw playing with his hair from an odd angle making him smile. He wasn’t awake enough to really place who was where, and Tel had stopped scenting herself with peppermint, so he was forced to rely on his ability to tell their fur apart. It wasn’t a difficult task, but he wanted to just enjoy the sensations before he needed to be awake and address the world again.
A shift forward was met with fur on both sides of his face and Tel giggling, so that tipped him off enough that he knew he had reclaimed his pillow after yesterday’s... charged events.
After Harrow showcased her work and demanded base-wide music, they had spent some time checking to see if it would be possible. It would be, but it would require slightly more black magic since the two systems weren’t connected directly. The weapon fixing would take place sometime today, if it was as simple as he thought it was.
After that was hunting with Jax, then consulting Nalah after reassuring the female that he supported her romantic endeavours.
Which dragged his mind to Tel and Pan.
Pan put up no resistance to him wanting to introduce the assassin to their circle... It was still weird to think about that... But Tel had seemed to worry that she would. He couldn’t say he was disappointed with the result, the confidence of the grey-furred female was infectious, and Pan seemed more than happy with the arrangement. A private question revealed the answer that nothing of note would really change for her, and it would make him happy, so she seen no reason to mind.
Tel had already spent most nights with them, she constantly flirted with him anyway, and it would be a lie to say that he didn’t find himself returning the game of affection long before it actually crossed his mind to question if he meant it. Him and Tel actively acknowledging that there was somewhere for it to go was just a logical conclusion to her.
The only change that the actual openness had brought so far was Tel pulling back on the flirting with the vague reason that she wanted to make sure of some things, though if he was disappointed at the delay or relieved for the chance to acclimate, he couldn’t say.
Regardless, he wiggled his head into the soft fluff he found himself encased in, a wandering hand confirming that Pan was snuggled into his chest and quite content to remain asleep. Tel’s voice stirred his barely conscious mind.
“Getting impatient to take me, my male?”
He opened an eye to see what the hell she meant, meeting the reality of the situation with a blush.
He was currently using her leg as a pillow, Tel having curled on an angle at some point, her upper body facing the lower portion of the bed while his head rested high on her thigh, and he was presently in the process of scooting his way into where her legs met, the thin fabric of her shorts just barely concealing his unintentional destination. He swallowed back the intrusive thought that there would be no repercussions if he were to just lean forward, other than the obvious disturbance, and pulled away before he could give in to the urge.
“Sorry, still half asleep.”
She chuckled, fixing her posture to lay further on her back to free him of the temptation, though her paw continued to run through his hair soothingly as she rested in the reverse orientation of him. “Although it would be a fine way to start the sun, i believe it would be best for it to be a private moment, no? Though, if you insist...”
He snorted, the jolt of his suppressed laugh stirring Pan. “You were the one who suggested we wait.”
Her paw moved to his face, her pads gently stroking his cheek. “It must be memorable, no? I have my competition resting within your arms, after all, and i believe from your reactions on the subject that she has made quite the impression upon you.”
Pan pulled out of his chest at the mention, an adorable yawn working its way from her muzzle. A lazy blink turned into a smile as she met his eyes, a soft kiss given in greeting. Remembering that Tel was in the bed curled around behind her, she rolled slightly to look at the female over her shoulder, the warm expression just the same. “I hope the moon treated you well, Tel.”
The cook raised a brow at the affection in her voice, rolling her eyes when Joseph chuckled. “Besides my male being so wanting in his rest, it did.”
Pan giggled, stretching out her legs to work off the rest of her sleepiness. “Then all is as expected.”
“Hey.” The Human protested, receiving a smirk from both females. “I feel like I’m being ganged up on.”
Tel surprised him by sitting up to add her own morning greeting before slipping off the bed with a spring to her step, Pan quietly suppressing her amusement at his surprise as she got up as well.
The Blade winked over her shoulder. “One thing at a time, my male.”
He opened his mouth to retort, the action dying as he registered the other meaning. Pan paused in response to his failure to dismiss the thought quick enough, the shy glance to the ground doing nothing to discourage the secondary embarrassment. “What do i need to do today? It’s too early for me to remember.”
The white-furred female, more than happy to return to her familiar role of helping him arrange what needed to be done, and likely eager to also abandon the thought that Tel’s words imparted upon them, folded her paws over her lap and gave him a brief summary. “Jax has arranged time for you both to teach Violet, though Mama will regrettably not be able to attend this session, Nalah would like your considerations for a water heating system for the bath house, and there are several other things that can be addressed whenever you have time as they are not urgent in nature.”
He grunted as he threw his legs off the side of the bed, an absent gaze slipping over to Tel stretching out before she went to make breakfast. “It depends on how long those first two take, but i might not have time to do the rest. I need to help Harrow too.”
“No time for me?” The female asked cheekily, resting her chin on Pan’s head from behind once she noticed his complaining seemed to be more entertaining than cooking at the moment, her elbows bracing on the smaller female’s shoulders. Pan seemed surprised at the contact, though not particularly minding it. She glanced up in a fruitless attempt to look at the female before quickly returning her gaze to her bond with little concern for her re-purposing as furniture.
He eyed the two with a raised brow. “Until i sort out what i wasn’t here to work on, yeah, sorry. I’ll free up some time soon.”
The cook pouted, her display of disapproval stalling as she shook her head against Pan, her eyes turning down to address her headrest once a thought crossed her mind. “You are surprisingly soft.”
His bond blushed, a glance afforded to the male in the room who had started smirking in his confusion. “He prefers that i maintain my fur as such, and i find it rather rewarding to do so.”
Tel nodded in approval, an idea rolling on her tongue. “Show me some time.”
Having made her demand, the gunmetal-furred female sauntered off with her paws behind her head, her tail spinning figure-eights on her way to prepare food for the pack. Joseph caught himself watching a little too closely, the Blade neglecting to toss on something other than her sleep-wear giving him a bit too much to look at. He reluctantly tore his gaze once she passed into the hallway, clearing his throat to address his amused bond as she wandered to the table against the window. “You guys seem surprisingly close.”
Pan tilted her head, her paws in the process of fetching him the clothing she made for him with a small smile. “She makes you happy, that is enough for me to think of her favourably.”
He blinked at the plain answer, accepting the shirt she held out for him. “It seems more than that.”
“She has offered to teach me ways to be of greater assistance to you, and i have offered to assist her as well.” The white-furred female explained, sheepishly watching him replace his clothing. It was a black t-shit and a pretty decent pair of sweat-pants. Far from formal, but no one on the entire planet would really notice anything if he went out looking like it was his day off, so no shits were given. Not that he cared how he dressed now-a-days anyway.
He wondered what exactly she did to manage the soft material from just flora and some odd compounds she had made, but figured that it would involve a long answer that contained more steps of processing than he had attention span. The sewing room was staring to contain more barrels of things than he wanted to look into, so he just thankfully accepted that his girlfriend was magic. One of... Yep, still weird to think about. He shook off the odd feeling that his situation gave him to poke into a curiosity.
“Trading favours? Like what?”
Pan held a claw to her lips with closed eyes as she gently shook her head, the action far more endearing than it had any right to be. “It would be rude to our efforts to reveal the results before they are ready.”
He straightened out the shirt, the fit just loose enough to be comfortable, though tight enough to stay how it should. He weighed his responses, opting to allow them their fun as long as it wouldn’t have any major consequences. Tel was told directly about that, and he wanted to believe she would respect his wishes on the matter. “Fine, fine. Just to make sure; I’m not going to end up fed to wolves or anything, right?”
Pan walked up to him with a chuckle, her paw gently resting against his chest and the soft kiss doing wonders to wake him up. “All you will be fed is whichever meal Tel provides.”
He made a show of pondering it before tilting his head in concession. “She’s a good cook, I’ll give her that. I need to ask what got her into it some time.”
His mate walked out of the door with a passive smile at his pondering, holding it open for him on her way as they started their day.
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“Again”
She got to her feet, picking up the blunted dagger that had skittered across the gym floor, her side sore from where the kick had landed. She readied her weapon, facing down the grey-furred female whom seemed more bored than critical at the moment.
“Move, disarm, remove.” Tel repeated, spinning her own practice dagger in the air and catching it in a reverse grip. A blur replaced the female, a sharp pain in Pan’s thigh was followed by her wrist being contorted to release the knife and Tel’s weapon pressed to her throat. “Those three will be etched into your bones.” Again, Tel disengaged, casually walking back to her starting location and tossing Pan her confiscated armament.
“Apologies, but i fail to see how this will help.”
The Blade raised a brow at her confession. “You must learn to react to ones such as myself.” She waved her dagger at the Paw. “You may have learned much of his unarmed methods, but your focus is bound by rules of sparring. Should one whom plays not by such restrictions seek to harm him, your end shall be the last he sees.”
Pan deflated, her ears drooping as she acknowledged the point.
“You train with Violet, no?”
She nodded, not really sure why it would be related.
Tel hummed, her expression contemplative. A blur originated from her resting arm, Pan’s conditioned reflexes slipping by the thrown knife and closing the distance to deliver a spinning back kick with her right leg from a more favourable angle once she had successfully dipped below the path of the blade.
The impact of a successful hit allowed her to use the recoil to bounce her weight in order to counteract the rotation, an arm held out to set her balance then pulled in to increase her speed. The same leg fired for the body from a new origin, the limb meeting empty air. Her instincts hauled the leg down with her body, the slight whistle of an edge whizzing over where her head was being a familiar sound.
The foot touched ground, her tail bracing the newly landed limb as she adjusted the other to launch vertically behind her, her aim being to break the guard of...
The disconnect between sparring her kit and the female who had taken a defensive posture caught her off guard, her leg halted from finishing the devastating kick to the jaw. The knife in her paw held blood.
Panicked, she righted herself cautiously, inspecting Tel for injuries that she may have accidentally inflicted. A cut along the female’s neck must have happened when she tried to stabilize herself, the weapon forgotten.
Tel eased, the looped end of her usual dagger facing forward as the flat side was about to be used to deflect the kick. She put it in her holster with the others, an analytical eye sizing the white-furred female up. She spoke with an interested tone.
“Where was that before?”
Pan clasped her paws in front of her chest, the weapon dropped as worry for the cook outweighed the thought of answering the question. “Are you okay? It was not my intention to harm you.”
Tel touched the cut, a grunt returned as she dismissed the injury. “Worry not, it is shallow. I had not watched your spars with the den-kit, so i had underestimated your training.” She glanced at the Paw. “Why could you not do as much before?”
Pan shook her head weakly, unsure why there seemed to be such a divide between the two extremes.
Tel approached slowly, her posture low as she inspected the white-furred female’s form. “What was going through your mind?”
She stalled, unsure of the specifics. “I was comparing the situation to training with Violet.”
The admittance raised a brow. “You attack your kit so violently?”
Pan shyly looked away. “She is skilled enough to require i do as such.”
“Hmm. Perhaps i should spar her as well. We never did get around to having her test her mettle against the pack, did we?”
She shook her head. “No, much occurred in short order, so Joseph didn’t feel it was appropriate to encourage such. None would know how to best avoid injury.”
“And you do?”
Pan blushed at her accidentally boastful phrasing, but nodding to agree anyway. She had trained with Violet since they were both newly introduced to competent combat techniques, leading to both growing with the other’s safety in mind. It also meant that, once they had reached a point in their development that they could be reasonably sure that they could stop any harm from coming of it, they could utilize the vulnerabilities they had found in spars.
Tel gave her a long look. “Kill me.”
“What?” The blink came at the same time as the word, her ear flicking in a vain attempt to ensure she had heard correctly.
The female reset her position, drawing two of her usual knifes instead of the practise blade she had been wielding previously. “I said; Kill me. More accurately, try to.”
Pan shook her head rapidly. “I don’t-”
The air shimmered as her tail bore some of her weight, the subconscious shift away from the sharp edge forcing her body into its habits. “And if i were targeting him?”
“Tel, i think we-” The slight skim against her neck triggered a reaction.
Throwing her weight down, she shifted it from her tail to her rear leg, lurching forward into the extended arm. Her front foot gained purchase, pushing herself up to encircle the target’s neck from under the shoulder. She reached with her other paw, capturing the wrist of the first and applying pressure while hauling the weight of her opponent over her knee, releasing the hold once the tipping point was exceeded.
A swift punch towards the throat was halted as the body impacted the ground, her reluctance to do more harm to the female causing her to pull the strike before it could build up too much speed.
Tel’s laughing stripped her of the haze, the female having used her tail to slow the strike further and redirecting it away from her neck with the flat of a knife, her free paw holding the second dagger outwards to stab at the ribs of the white-furred female.
“Perhaps i need not forge you from nothing.” Tel commented, releasing Pan’s limb once an effort to remove it was given. “Your only limitation now is that you lack a weapon in which to compliment your style, though i believe we shall have one in our paws soon enough. It would assist you greatly if you were to follow through, however.”
Pan offered the female assistance to her feet, the latter accepting without pause. “I do not enjoy having to react in such ways. Joseph has taught me much, but it would be against his wishes were i to wantonly embrace violence.”
Tel tapped her on the nose with her dagger before sheathing it, leaving Pan to rub her snout as the female spoke. “I suppose that is but one art he has ingrained within you?” The Paw’s refusal to meet her eyes answered for her. “Will you not act when one aims for his life?”
A pain became apparent behind her voice. “I wish to embrace his moral. I should not use his teachings to take a life unless there is no other option.” Pan’s gaze fell to her feet. “I have allowed myself to fall into those lessons rashly before, and i fear i would not be able to amend what i might wrongfully do.”
The Blade sighed, waving a paw to disregard the notion. “I suppose that we can say he has taught you enough for your function, though you are woefully insufficient in other ways.” Tel walked to the door, gesturing for Pan to follow. “We will continue our sessions, though it will be to familiarize you with weapons and methods that others will use. To be ignorant is to allow your Sheath to fall before your eyes, dull one. You would do them well to throw yourself to the Void before you make them suffer such inadequacies by your own paw.”
Pan frowned, the meaning of her declaration only partially understood. Tel paused in front of the sewing room, shifting her head to look back with an eye. “Apologies, i suppose it would be unfair of me to attribute your allegiances to my own. You seek to defend as his shield rather than eliminate as his Blade, yes?”
She nodded, not entirely sure where Tel was going with this, a sensation that continued to grow ever since the female offered to teach her ways that would keep her bond safe. It was as if there was a darker side to the one whom her bond had fallen for, though their interactions spoke to the fact that he has become aware of such and accepted her in spite of it. The Paw decided to trust in the dubious nature of the cook, placing her faith in the male whom has become her centre.
“Then we will focus on observation and threat appraisal for now. I can hardly allow my attentions to slip while none are able to supplement myself.” Tel proceeded into the room, her piece said with a somewhat resigned lilt.
A worrying thought crossed Pan’s mind as she followed. “Am i preventing you from confirming your affections with him?”
“I have more than yourself to worry about, fear not.” She gestured lazily to the stack of fabrics they had chosen together last sun. “I believe you require my measurements now, no?”
The Paw frowned, but figured that if she was inhibiting the newfound love from being fulfilled, then at least these efforts would assist further. She pulled several lengths of palm as Tel disrobed, considerations for what she would make specifically proving difficult to muse.
The nicks in the strips were made silently, Pan ruminating on her unintended effect in stalling their relations. Tel exhaled, eventually speaking in a voice devoid of the harsh edge she had adopted since entering the gym, the tone soft and weary.
“Could you tell me about him? I fear i know little more than the others.” A sadness took root in her voice. “I have harmed him with my lacking in such areas already. I wish to do him no more.”
Pan paused, glancing up to see the female fixing her gaze out of the window bashfully. An unfamiliar sight, to be sure. A smile formed on her muzzle, her motions as she continued to get the information she needed much more natural now that Tel had shown her again why Joseph would be taken with the female.
“I suppose i should start with his blood-mother, a female who dreamed of the stars...”
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
The growled incoherence from the Grand Hunter drew a chuckle from Jax, the Human’s struggle with the consonance proving to be rather amusing.
“This shit hurts my throat.” He complained, stroking the affected area and taking a deep drink from his water. Jax tried to keep the smirk from forming, though based on Joseph’s face, he wasn’t doing a very good job of it.
“Worry not, Grand Hunter, this is an expected hurdle to overcome.”
The Human glowered at him for a moment, his nostrils flaring as he exhaled forcefully. “Says the one who learned a language by listening to us talk for a while.”
“Violet has made great strides in learning such.” He gestured to the den-kit who was currently practising the alphabet for Joseph’s language. “She is endeavouring to master two, even.”
A sigh was returned for his argument, a satisfied smile overcoming his friend as the Human observed his kit apparently doing her task with great proficiency. “She’s doing better than i expected.”
Jax looked over the work, though could only comment that the lines were done more uniformly than the male’s. “Will she be able to communicate with you soon?”
Joseph blew air from his mouth as he rose his brows. “Maybe? It’ll depend on how she handles spelling. It’s a bit of a nightmare at times.”
“She has shown no struggle within our own script.” Jax offered, noticing the wince.
“Eh. We’ll see. It’ll be easy enough to go over basic phrases, in any case.”
Violet finished her repetition, displaying the result for her adoptive den-father to inspect. Joseph stroked the kit’s head while praising her for a job well done. The Atmo fetched a smaller tablet in which to scratch on, showing Jax the result with an excited bounce.
[I am improving!]
The Lilhun felt his chest rumble with the chuckle he encouraged. “You are, Violet. We are both very proud of you.” The sight of the Human looking at him longingly drew his attention. “You have denied my affections before, Grand Hunter. Do you wish for me now that i am displaying how useful to your kit i may be?”
“Welp, it was nice while it lasted.” The male deadpanned, extending his middle finger towards Jax, the Lilhun waving a paw in return.
“You will have similar exchanges in future, i am sure.” He reassured casually. “Perhaps it will be me whom looks on in envy.”
The Human smiled wistfully at him, the gaze somehow hurting. “You’ll be a good dad, Jax.”
The Lilhun, for once, found no witty retort to his friend’s words. No sarcasm, no wish to detract from the meaning loaded behind those wishes that cried into his soul, knowing that the male may never have what he wanted for the one teaching his adoptive kit.
Jax forced a smirk, a small decision made in his mind, though he would wait until it was time. For now, he was to assist this Human reach a deep desire within him. It was a small return for what he had been given.
“I fear that you are skipping on your practise, Grand Hunter.”
Joseph exhaled. “What sound am i ripping my throat out over again?”
The Lilhun chuckled, demonstrating again and taking the extra effort to emphasize and explain the subtleties for his benefit. The resulting imitation being butchered, though closer than before.
The Human coughed, taking a drink after it calmed down enough to do so and he had assured his kit that he was not ill. “Isn’t there anything easier to start with?”
Jax thought about it before shaking his head. “Easier? Yes. More fundamental? No. Much of what you gain with this will be a boon while you learn the rest.”
A thump sounded out as Joseph dropped his head onto the table. “I hate Lilhun.”
“And yet you seek to bed two.”
He rolled his head to the side to glare at the Head. “I’m including you in the things i hate.”
Jax held a paw to his chest, flinching as if wounded. “My love, you must be gentle with me.”
“Fuck you and your gravel-ass language.”
The male reached over to pat Joseph on the back. “Come. You are improving, but success is not the only marker of progress. It will take time to make the motions comfortable.”
The Grand Hunter looked at him lazily. “Fine, but you’re teaching me how to tell you to shut up. It’s looking like it’ll be more fun to yell at you in your language than mine.”
Jax grinned. “I look forward to offering you myself in more ways as well.”
“God, i regret everything.”
The facilities door pressed open, the Human quickly feigning interest in the script that Violet was quietly working on near by. Tel sauntered into the hub, gesturing behind her as she wandered up to the two.
“Joseph, Silva has called and requested your presence. Pan is waiting in your stead.”
The Human’s brows shot up. “Oh, shit. Okay. I’ll go see what’s up.”
Violet quickly laid down her materials and hurried to Joseph’s side.
“You wanna come say high to Sil, Violet?”
A chittered reply was accompanied by an excited bouncing, the male laughing and resting his paw upon the kit’s back.
“Come on then. Jax, sorry to cut the lesson short. Let me know when you have time again!”
The Lilhun shook his head at how eager his friend was to abscond with his other student. “Of course, Grand Hunter. You will be notified.”
Joseph held up a thumb as he walked away. “Thanks, buddy! I owe you.”
Jax didn’t have time to come up with something funny before the doors closed behind the pair, leaving him in the room with Tel. He glanced to the bored-looking female.
“I am surprised you would claim him as your own.” He commented absently, unsure of what else he would like to talk about with her, given the lack of new topics at his disposal. Tel focused on him, a scoff given as a smug look of satisfaction crossed her face.
“Perhaps if you had proven better, it may have been you burying your face between my thighs earlier this sun.”
He blinked, watching the female walk through the dormitory doors with her tail swinging in off-set circles behind her. His gaze fell to the floor in front of him, memories of before they had joined Joseph’s pack coming to bear. Of those moons where it had felt like she was slightly more flirtatious than her usual displays would leave him to believe.
He didn’t regret ending up with Harrow, his mate was irreplaceable to him, but it was still worth at least pondering the possibilities, even if only for a moment before they were banished to the realm of the inconsequential.
“Shame.”
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
The terminal screen was displaying the sparse office of a Union member, the sterile colours and textures far from engaging. In the centre of the display sat a fairly dishevelled Trilaxin, her plumage untended and movement sluggish. Stress was clear in her expression, as was the lack of sleep that took its toll on their species much faster than his own.
Joseph distorted his face in worry. He may have only talked to the woman once, but she was doing him a huge favour by looking into everything, and she was a close friend of Rob’s. “Jesus, Sil. You okay?”
She ignored his question, conflict evident as she opened and closed her beak while trying to find the right words to say. “Joseph, i have decoded the information they retrieved from an Atmo-origin object travelling to Sol. Were you told about this?”
“The pack filled me in, yeah. What was in it?”
She cycled a slow breath, glancing at the occupants of the room, though it was only the three of them there at the moment. Violet reached for a tablet, finding that she only had one on-hand at the moment. She paused before deciding to wave with her joint in lieu of a more concise method of greeting that would take up space which might be used to say something else. A small smile was returned by the avian until she spoke, her voice falling grave.
“It’s a video file. It was programmed to be broadcast once it was within range and it was...” She fell quiet for a while, Joseph unsure if he should interject. Her feathers shimmered as she regained her confidence. “I believe you should see it, considering your connection to them. It will answer more questions than i could reasonably answer.”
He furrowed his brow in uncertainty. “Sure? How am i supposed to do it? Will you just send it or...”
She shook her head, an empty laugh given in exchange. “I can pass through the feed, though i will not be able to continue once it is over. It will be too risky to keep the system running after.”
Joseph nodded in partial understanding, glancing to Pan and Violet to get their opinions. Pan smiled encouragingly and Violet nodded her assent to the arrangement. He turned his attention back to the terminal. “Okay. Sorry we couldn’t talk longer.”
Silva gave a weak smile as she took a breath, a necklace running through a thin gold ring shifting against her breast. “We will speak again, Joseph. Just...” Her eyes glanced away from the screen. “Never mind. I’ll get in touch once a friend of mine gets access to the Lilhun data, okay?”
A frown tugged at his lips, but he tried to look more thankful for her hard work. It was obviously far harder on her than he would have thought previously, and the mention of her actively waiting on more information suggested that she had at least confirmed there was things to find. “Take it easy, Sil. You look like hell.”
A soft chuckle trilled from her beak, the look on her face implying that it wasn’t the first time today she was told that. “I must, mustn't i?” She shook her head softly. “Take care Joseph. I am glad to see that you returned in good health.”
He returned the smile as she reached to do whatever needed to be done. “Take care.”
The screen flickered to a deep grey, the darkness artificial. A ‘rec’ watermark appeared at the top of the image in time with the hum of background noise and an undertone of static. A deep voice spoke in accented English, subtitles being displayed underneath in the language as well as what Joseph could place as Atmo script, though he couldn’t be sure if Sil had provided the translation or if it was embedded in the file previously. Violet took a step closer to the terminal when she noticed.
“I hope this reaches them.”
As soon as the words were out, the scene changed to a haggard looking man standing in the corner of a room, looking somewhere in his forties based on the smile lines and deep creases on his forehead, a coat having been hastily tossed on over a t-shirt and jeans. He held his lowered head in his hands, giving his face a rough rub before raising it slowly to look at the recording device, the redness in his eyes and bags underneath them speaking to more than one night that he would have preferred in a bottle. It was a look Joseph recognized from the bathroom mirror back in his apartment, and a feeling he knew all too well.
The unkempt facial hair, the lack of sleep due to nightmares, the overwhelming urge to curl into a ball and let death take you one second at a time. It was a look of a man who had lost everything and had nothing left to fight for.
“Attention people of Sol. We have come to present evidence of the Union using their power to unilaterally commit genocide on newly discovered sapient races for no reason other than their fear of an uprising from members who have supported their government for millennia. My name is Adam Callam, and i present to you...” The man’s voice broke, a sob fought back in a desperate attempt to keep himself composed, his face contorted in his struggle not to give into agony. “I present to you a video log of our interactions with new races under the guise of a ‘socialization procedure’. Kind people of great curiosity, acceptance, friendship, and loyalty. People who accepted us as their own with no promise of anything in return, and people who... People who...”
The video cut to the man holding a drink in his hand and a cigarette freshly extinguished into a newly placed ashtray. A barely hidden bottle of alcohol could be discerned at the edge of the screen, Adam having moved to sitting at a table between scenes. The man cleared his throat, it being much hoarser than before.
“And people who... Who sacrificed many... to save just me and my family.” He stared at the desk for a moment, a fresh tear proving difficult to dissuade. “No. People who became our family. People of Sol. Members of Humanity. Please. See what kind of beings are being kept from us and stolen of their right to live... See what people made the ultimate sacrifice to save a Human couple and their child from unprovoked bombardment... And what i am asking you to do in return.”
The man’s sorrow faded in an instant, his gaze into the screen intense and focused. Pan reached out and held Joseph’s hand, resting her free paw on Violet’s shoulder as the Atmo watched, absorbed by the story unfolding in front of them.
“Watch what the Union is doing behind the curtain, just to prove to themselves that they are the ultimate authority. That they can play God, merely because of their own convictions and desire for control... Watch the happiest moments of my life be ripped away from me because of them.”
Adam took a deep drink of his booze, wincing when the burning hit his throat.
“Watch, and then make a decision. A decision on the fate of those people... Because you are the only hope they have left.”
The man reached forward to interact with the device, his eyes having turned from despair to a cold determination that resonated with the Grand Hunter.
The screen flickered again. Joseph gripped Pan’s paw as he watched with baited breath.
​
Next
A/N: I'm not apologizing for the cliff. I might end up slipping the next chapter in two if i feel all the detail is needed, so... We'll see. i'll try to condense it, but no promises.

I, first-gen m21, cried today after a discussion with my mom about her and my dad helping me move to Ohio for an internship. I didn’t want their help for financial reasons. She told me I’m willing to sacrifice my time to help you don’t worry about the money. We also discussed how I was telling my older brother I might do a master’s degree, and my mom told me that he’s proud of me for thinking big and going further than what he was able to achieve and that they all are. After the call ended I cried for the first time in years. I love my family and all I do is for them, but some part of me takes that and feels I have to do it alone so that I’m not a burden for them while I strive for success for them. Not sure if this post belongs here or not.