I'm from the US and elected to do this outside of insurance because I am moving internationally this summer and will have to go off my US insurance. Not knowing what is even covered under the insurance of the place I'm moving, i didn't want to delay this indefinitely and started looking at places to have this done. Mexico would have been closer for me but I had already visited previously and decided to use the opportunity to visit Turkey (which was lovely! Recommend highly).
Other info: I am 33f, HW 236 years ago, SW 218, cw 213 after three days now lmao.
Pre op day
I started this day at 4am for a vacation-related activity and went almost 24 hours straight as it carried me to plane -> hospital -> several hours of tests. Those were painful and annoying, no surprise there.
I was actually kind of worried for the tests because the diet sheet Irmet gave me was like one page, and some of the items on it were definitely not available in the US and once in Turkey I never even saw them either. I mostly got by on my own protein drink and eating chicken breast kebab.
But even bringing a giant case of protein drink was only 17 servings and not enough for my vacation so I tried supplementing with protein drinks found while on vacation for the liver shrinking diet. Literally before getting on the plane to come to the hospital I checked the nutrition label again with Google Lens and realized I made a mistake and they had far more carbs than I realized. I was trying to be very careful and normally am, very unlike me to make a mistake like that, but just goes to show you how chaotic traveling is.
I was hopeful that my overall very low caloric intake during this time would see me through, and I had managed to still be pretty good about drinking water. I also had gotten some liver supplements and drinks called Dose which are milk thistle and turmeric. Normally I roll my eyes at that kind of thing but in this case I would call the purchase an erroneous way to manage my stress and feel like I had more control. Although they aren't scientifically backed, it felt like a good luck charm. Make of that whatever you will.
Op day
On op day, more tests. Was ready to be annoyed they were ultrasounding me instead of just asking if I could be pregnant (I could not) but they did huge swaths of the body like veins, so it wasn't the typical thing where doctors just don't believe women about their possible pregnancy status. I was worried about a varicose vein I have on my calf that probably no one but me notices but I seem to have inherited from my dad if that's even possible, but it turned out to be no problem.
The rest of the tests came back a lo and behold, everything was fine. Every bloodwork stat was exactly textbook including all the liver ones despite my minor diet fail. I breathed some relief, although I have still heard of cases where they can't determine the liver size is a problem until after they cut you open so please don't take this as "don't follow your pre op diet", I was still eating relatively little and if I had a higher starting weight/liver weight the story still may have ended differently. I would have felt so miserable and stupid if I got cut open and the gas pain and couldn't have the surgery. Please don't play hooky with your diet, that does happen fr. My patient coordinator has been telling me horror stories since I've been here.
I went into surgery around 2pm. They gave me a sedative and that's all I remember until waking up in agony. It wasn't anything like what I expected. I heard "gas pain" and thought stomach. Instead it went between my shoulder blades and felt like being bludgeoned with a rock. It also apparently stayed, undetectable, in my stomach area and caused painful dry heaving for about 10 hours. I couldn't sleep at all. I had this mental image of how I'd look in the future sustaining me through the nerves of the whole process and I couldn't conjure it. Couldn't bring myself to turn on TV, anything. Here's where things get a little meh on Irmet.
I did ask for pain meds and was denied after anesthesia which, fine. But then it seemed like they forgot about me when I asked again and was allowed to have them (this theme would be recurring, my nurse experience has been pretty mixed although Dr. Ali Tardu has been great).
Day after
Kept dry heaving the first half of the day, and then before even 24 hours it steeply dropped off. That was a huge improvement. Slept a ton. Weirdly my blood pressure got high, which I've never had high blood pressure and it felt very uncomfortable I could kind of feel it pulsing around my shoulders and stuff. Some nurses would give me blood pressure meds, others wouldn't. I still couldn't drink nearly enough because of the dry heaving and 2x actually throwing up from trying to drink on an every 7min schedule.
I kept feeling like the nurse care and follow up was uneven. Which hey ok I get it, stuff could be going on, but my room was in front of the nurses station and sometimes I would go out following up on requests and they were just watching videos on their phones at the nurses station. Not trying to be mean but it didn't totally seem like they were on it. (OTOH, I have also been a caretaker to a sick parent in the US and I don't feel like those nurses were always "on it" either - not to be a hater I know it is a hard job, but for instance my dad was discharged when he had had a stroke from one hospital which to me seems egregious.)
Walking was immediately pretty OK for me, my incisions actually hurt nothing in comparison to the gas pain/dry heaving so once that went away I was golden. Could bend down to do things the whole nine yards. My stomach did have a big bruise. I did not have to have any kind of drain which I was happy about, those gross me out.
Dr. Tardu continued to have a really great bedside manner and I really enjoyed all my interactions with him. He seems very genuine.
I had somewhat guessed or predicted that my low(ish) starting weight and activity level would let me bounce back quickly and that was mostly correct.
I had willingness to drink the stuff we were given (apple juice, broth) although I lacked ability because I kept heaving. I've heard people complain the apple juice here tasted like some ice melted down the back of a fridge which I thought a bit intense lmao - it tastes maybe cut with water but fine, if you have ever done any length of eating diet food certainly nothing noteworthy. The protein drinks they give you IMO taste fine. I had a harder time with the broth for some reason, maybe even just conceptually because it had a little bit of oil - adding the full salt packet they gived you helped a lot and you'll need it, your muscles if you are anything like me can get achey and spasmey without salt so its important.
Two days after
Two days out I was MUCH better although I slept an insane amount, on/off most all the day. I took that as a positive and it was actually my plan for why i did vacation before the procedure, I hoped to sleep though the whole recovery.
Unfortunately this meant that I slept in really weird positions with the bed still mostly upright so I wouldn't get nauseous and I absolutely kiiiiilled my neck so that became my new main pain after the gas pain went away lol.
First day because of dry heaving I could barely drink, I saw a drastic uptick on day 2. Even able to take bigger sips than I would have thought.
Three days after
Brings me to today. Have only needed to nap once, or been able to once because of my neck being absolutely murdered. But energy level has been OK. I felt like I was pretty strong to make it through this. Compared to floor mates I have seemed to do pretty ok. As I knew it would the gas pain stuff already seems distant, the brain is eager to let go of even the memory of pain.
Supposedly I'm down 5lbs lol. I don't think that's much more than whatever the stomach weighed + dehydration but a cheerful sign nonetheless. Was able to get my IV out which, hated that thing so good riddance.
Has continued to be hit or miss with nurses. Today just trying to get ibuprophen I think I waited two hours without the request getting answered and finally had to go out again which just seems, unnecessary. Another thing I haven't loved is that there is a little beauty parlor thing in this wing and it smells like a smokestack. I know as an american I have little room to lecture other cultures on health but I honestly forgot that smoking was still such a thing to a greater extent in Europe until this trip (last visit for me was 2008 when you could still smoke in restaurants more places in the US too so it didn't stick out so much. Maybe the one healthy thing America has made stick lolsob).
So that's it - that's my tale so far! Feel free to AMA in the comments.
Using a throwaway but I've been looking at some civil service jobs and I'm genuinely confused as to why the pay is so low. It's well known you get paid more in the private sector, but when so many jobs are done by external consultants at a premium it's not like there isn't money available in a department's budget? I know you could argue 'it's just the way things are done' but has no one done the long term planning to advertise roles with good salaries, retain those staff and then reduce the reliance on the big 4? Maybe I'm just burnt out and tired of using public money on Accenture grads lol
I am currently in college completing my degree for graphic design and possibly coding/web design. I see a lot of depressingly common stories about people not being hired, being hired for a job they are way overqualified for, being fired, or straight up just unemployed for no other reason that they are ND. I am a little less worried about discrimination in my field as careers in the creative and tech industries have always been the more ND-friendly as opposed to something like nursing or accounting.
You hear all kinds of stories about aspies working in IT and related fields and even jokes about if they even hire NTs. Its so mind-twistingly infuriating that this is acceptable and seen as the norm to straight up not hire someone if they disclose a condition/disability or come off as different. Eccentricity is seen as a crime worthy of the death penalty and it boils my blood beyond words. Discrimination is legal too pretty much. Sure in America we have the ADA but a lot of employers and HR use those personality tests that will ask questions inappropriate and irrelevant to the job or more subtle ones like asking if you prefer a quiet workplace over a chaotic one or if you prefer working by yourself vs a team. 8-9 times out of 10, these are intended to screen out neurodiverse candidates without getting bit in the ass by the ADA or the equivalent in your country. And even if the person answered honestly, got denied, and the documents were subpoenaed and taken to court, HR could just yammer on about something like “cultural fit” which means literally whatever they want it to, so its impossible to prove discrimination, and for some crappy reason, the burden of proof falls on the person who was discriminated against.
I can’t guarantee, but I suspect a good chunk of the people in my graphic design program are ND in some way based on my interactions with them, and my school is very progressive and inclusive. In the final semester, we have two classes where we work with real clients and give presentations (we do those anyway) and I trust my faculty advisor not to intentionally pick clients that will judge us based on things like eye contact or how much we smile rather than our artwork/design. Then again this is no guarantee and Im scared all my years building my portfolio and college years will be for nothing, all because of a condition I never wanted. I’m not even formally diagnosed so there’s that, but I’ve been allowed in programs that help disabled/socially different people because I seen a professional.
Is it really that much to ask to just be seen as and treated like human beings both in society and the workplace?
I am graduating in May with a B.S in Molecular Neuroscience. Over the last few years, I realized want to help people more directly and I am more interested in psych research than the cellular research I was doing.
I have a 3.7 GPA, I worked in the cell lab for 6 months, I have taken some relevant classes like statistics, psych 101, neuroethics, clinical neuroscience. Honestly tons of translational experience about designing experiments, and reading, analyzing, and writing papers.
This semester I worked in a health psychology lab and conducted my own research for an honors project. I helped design the research, applied and earned 2 grants, obtained permission from IRB, edited my PI’s RedCap to create my own Questionnaire, made a flyer and recruited.. it’s more involved but anyways I am presenting my poster on it in May.
I plan to get a full time psych related full time research job after I graduate and then eventually plan to get experience as a mental health worker. I am getting mental health aid certified this semester which doesn’t account for much but it will help me learn about sign and symptoms and treatments of mental illness.
Obviously my problem is lack of psychology credits. I need 15 more credits to meet the 18 credits needed to apply to Clinical PhD programs. I would love to get into suicide prevent research or even do research about mental health outcomes. My ultimate goal though is to become neuropsychologist because I love learning about disorders and I think the correct diagnosis is critical (and no I don’t want to go to medical school. Not because I couldn’t or I am not dedicated, I have no desire to learn about surgery and family medicine).
I would do the psychology credits needed to apply for the clinical psychology PhD online while working, but it begs the questions should I just go for my masters? I am afraid to waste all this money doing online psychology classes if I am just not going to get in to a clinical psychology program and have to do the masters in the end anyway.
I’m 21 years old and in the USA if that matters.
Was wondering if anyone has gone down this route as I'm in the process of shedding weight and my stomach area and certain parts of my body are heading in that direction, even though I'm doing weights with a calorie deficit diet I'm still going to have saggy skin unfortunately
Has anyone done this kind of operation or knows a place in Glasgow or surrounding that can recommend a surgery clinic for a consultation?
Hey everyone! I am an MS-3 currently preparing to apply to residency, and I have a problem: I liked everything! There was not a single clerkship I didn't like and could see myself happy in any field.
I will say my personal favorites were probably psych, peds, and OBGYN (but more the OB and much less the GYN). I obtained great clinical scores in everything and my test scores are predicted to be great as well.
I have changed my favorite specialty pretty much every 4 weeks since med school began, and the question I can't shake right now is why shouldn't I do anesthesia? Honestly, why shouldn't everyone? Why is it not the most popular specialty?
To me, both from interacting with anesthesiologists and seeing other threads, it seems. like the greatest specialty. Your salary is phenomenal, better than the surgeon sometimes. Your hours are great, and it seems some of them still make $375K+ only working 40 hours a week. Cardiologists make bank but they work like dogs and spend at least one of their days off trying to keep up with the mountain of studies published in their field every week. Heck, even CRNAs make more money than PCPs in my state and they definitely work far less.
I guess I just want a good life for myself. Yes, I'd like patients who like me, but at the end of the day, for the work life balance Anesthiologists enjoy, I can't imagine ever being miserable. I could see myself becoming jaded in other fields if I have to work much harder to obtain the same salary, while an advanced practice nurse's time is valued higher than mine to healthcare administration.
New grad nurse here! I really enjoy where I work and the people I work with so I don’t really see myself leaving anytime soon. I know for some people here that’s not the case.
What made you leave your first nursing job & how long did you stay there for? What could’ve made you stay?
Thanks 🫶
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Royal Road - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Waking up after spending the night back in a cuddle-puddle for the first time in weeks was a surprising experience to his ‘night watch’ geared brain. He had awoken twice, a lethargic thought to check who was on watch so that he might relieve them being stunted by the bodies pressed to his own before he groggily buried his face in the nearest fur-pile and went back to sleep.
Sahari and Nalah had joined them, something that he was rather thankful for, if only for the return to normalcy, but Joseph had been mildly disappointed that there was nothing going on between them yet. It was just a matter of time, but, if they keep it up, he might channel Tel’s mischievous side and force the matter. He just needed to know how to. He mentally shrugged, deciding to ask the grey-furred female at some point since she had known the ex-Grand Huntress the longest.
He lazily rubbed his face into the soft fur he found himself resting on, a light touch of a paw playing with his hair from an odd angle making him smile. He wasn’t awake enough to really place who was where, and Tel had stopped scenting herself with peppermint, so he was forced to rely on his ability to tell their fur apart. It wasn’t a difficult task, but he wanted to just enjoy the sensations before he needed to be awake and address the world again.
A shift forward was met with fur on both sides of his face and Tel giggling, so that tipped him off enough that he knew he had reclaimed his pillow after yesterday’s...
charged events.
After Harrow showcased her work and demanded base-wide music, they had spent some time checking to see if it would be possible. It would be, but it would require slightly more black magic since the two systems weren’t connected directly. The weapon fixing would take place sometime today, if it was as simple as he thought it was.
After that was hunting with Jax, then consulting Nalah after reassuring the female that he supported her romantic endeavours.
Which dragged his mind to Tel and Pan.
Pan put up no resistance to him wanting to introduce the assassin to their circle... It was still weird to think about that... But Tel had seemed to worry that she would. He couldn’t say he was disappointed with the result, the confidence of the grey-furred female was infectious, and Pan seemed more than happy with the arrangement. A private question revealed the answer that nothing of note would really change for her, and it would make him happy, so she seen no reason to mind.
Tel had already spent most nights with them, she constantly flirted with him anyway, and it would be a lie to say that he didn’t find himself returning the game of affection long before it actually crossed his mind to question if he meant it. Him and Tel actively acknowledging that there was somewhere for it to go was just a logical conclusion to her.
The only change that the actual openness had brought so far was Tel pulling back on the flirting with the vague reason that she wanted to make sure of some things, though if he was disappointed at the delay or relieved for the chance to acclimate, he couldn’t say.
Regardless, he wiggled his head into the soft fluff he found himself encased in, a wandering hand confirming that Pan was snuggled into his chest and quite content to remain asleep. Tel’s voice stirred his barely conscious mind.
“Getting impatient to take me, my male?”
He opened an eye to see what the hell she meant, meeting the reality of the situation with a blush.
He was currently using her leg as a pillow, Tel having curled on an angle at some point, her upper body facing the lower portion of the bed while his head rested high on her thigh, and he was presently in the process of scooting his way into where her legs met, the thin fabric of her shorts just barely concealing his unintentional destination. He swallowed back the intrusive thought that there would be no repercussions if he were to just lean forward, other than the obvious disturbance, and pulled away before he could give in to the urge.
“Sorry, still half asleep.”
She chuckled, fixing her posture to lay further on her back to free him of the temptation, though her paw continued to run through his hair soothingly as she rested in the reverse orientation of him. “Although it would be a fine way to start the sun, i believe it would be best for it to be a private moment, no? Though, if you insist...”
He snorted, the jolt of his suppressed laugh stirring Pan. “You were the one who suggested we wait.”
Her paw moved to his face, her pads gently stroking his cheek. “It must be memorable, no? I have my competition resting within your arms, after all, and i believe from your reactions on the subject that she has made quite the impression upon you.”
Pan pulled out of his chest at the mention, an adorable yawn working its way from her muzzle. A lazy blink turned into a smile as she met his eyes, a soft kiss given in greeting. Remembering that Tel was in the bed curled around behind her, she rolled slightly to look at the female over her shoulder, the warm expression just the same. “I hope the moon treated you well, Tel.”
The cook raised a brow at the affection in her voice, rolling her eyes when Joseph chuckled. “Besides my male being so wanting in his rest, it did.”
Pan giggled, stretching out her legs to work off the rest of her sleepiness. “Then all is as expected.”
“Hey.” The Human protested, receiving a smirk from both females. “I feel like I’m being ganged up on.”
Tel surprised him by sitting up to add her own morning greeting before slipping off the bed with a spring to her step, Pan quietly suppressing her amusement at his surprise as she got up as well.
The Blade winked over her shoulder. “One thing at a time, my male.”
He opened his mouth to retort, the action dying as he registered the other meaning. Pan paused in response to his failure to dismiss the thought quick enough, the shy glance to the ground doing nothing to discourage the secondary embarrassment. “What do i need to do today? It’s too early for me to remember.”
The white-furred female, more than happy to return to her familiar role of helping him arrange what needed to be done, and likely eager to also abandon the thought that Tel’s words imparted upon them, folded her paws over her lap and gave him a brief summary. “Jax has arranged time for you both to teach Violet, though Mama will regrettably not be able to attend this session, Nalah would like your considerations for a water heating system for the bath house, and there are several other things that can be addressed whenever you have time as they are not urgent in nature.”
He grunted as he threw his legs off the side of the bed, an absent gaze slipping over to Tel stretching out before she went to make breakfast. “It depends on how long those first two take, but i might not have time to do the rest. I need to help Harrow too.”
“No time for me?” The female asked cheekily, resting her chin on Pan’s head from behind once she noticed his complaining seemed to be more entertaining than cooking at the moment, her elbows bracing on the smaller female’s shoulders. Pan seemed surprised at the contact, though not particularly minding it. She glanced up in a fruitless attempt to look at the female before quickly returning her gaze to her bond with little concern for her re-purposing as furniture.
He eyed the two with a raised brow. “Until i sort out what i wasn’t here to work on, yeah, sorry. I’ll free up some time soon.”
The cook pouted, her display of disapproval stalling as she shook her head against Pan, her eyes turning down to address her headrest once a thought crossed her mind. “You are surprisingly soft.”
His bond blushed, a glance afforded to the male in the room who had started smirking in his confusion. “He prefers that i maintain my fur as such, and i find it rather rewarding to do so.”
Tel nodded in approval, an idea rolling on her tongue. “Show me some time.”
Having made her demand, the gunmetal-furred female sauntered off with her paws behind her head, her tail spinning figure-eights on her way to prepare food for the pack. Joseph caught himself watching a little too closely, the Blade neglecting to toss on something other than her sleep-wear giving him a bit too much to look at. He reluctantly tore his gaze once she passed into the hallway, clearing his throat to address his amused bond as she wandered to the table against the window. “You guys seem surprisingly close.”
Pan tilted her head, her paws in the process of fetching him the clothing she made for him with a small smile. “She makes you happy, that is enough for me to think of her favourably.”
He blinked at the plain answer, accepting the shirt she held out for him. “It seems more than that.”
“She has offered to teach me ways to be of greater assistance to you, and i have offered to assist her as well.” The white-furred female explained, sheepishly watching him replace his clothing. It was a black t-shit and a pretty decent pair of sweat-pants. Far from formal, but no one on the entire planet would really notice anything if he went out looking like it was his day off, so no shits were given. Not that he cared how he dressed now-a-days anyway.
He wondered what exactly she did to manage the soft material from just flora and some odd compounds she had made, but figured that it would involve a long answer that contained more steps of processing than he had attention span. The sewing room was staring to contain more barrels of things than he wanted to look into, so he just thankfully accepted that his girlfriend was magic. One of... Yep, still weird to think about. He shook off the odd feeling that his situation gave him to poke into a curiosity.
“Trading favours? Like what?”
Pan held a claw to her lips with closed eyes as she gently shook her head, the action far more endearing than it had any right to be. “It would be rude to our efforts to reveal the results before they are ready.”
He straightened out the shirt, the fit just loose enough to be comfortable, though tight enough to stay how it should. He weighed his responses, opting to allow them their fun as long as it wouldn’t have any major consequences. Tel was told directly about that, and he wanted to believe she would respect his wishes on the matter. “Fine, fine. Just to make sure; I’m not going to end up fed to wolves or anything, right?”
Pan walked up to him with a chuckle, her paw gently resting against his chest and the soft kiss doing wonders to wake him up. “All you will be fed is whichever meal Tel provides.”
He made a show of pondering it before tilting his head in concession. “She’s a good cook, I’ll give her that. I need to ask what got her into it some time.”
His mate walked out of the door with a passive smile at his pondering, holding it open for him on her way as they started their day.
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“Again”
She got to her feet, picking up the blunted dagger that had skittered across the gym floor, her side sore from where the kick had landed. She readied her weapon, facing down the grey-furred female whom seemed more bored than critical at the moment.
“Move, disarm, remove.” Tel repeated, spinning her own practice dagger in the air and catching it in a reverse grip. A blur replaced the female, a sharp pain in Pan’s thigh was followed by her wrist being contorted to release the knife and Tel’s weapon pressed to her throat. “Those three will be etched into your bones.” Again, Tel disengaged, casually walking back to her starting location and tossing Pan her confiscated armament.
“Apologies, but i fail to see how this will help.”
The Blade raised a brow at her confession. “You must learn to react to ones such as myself.” She waved her dagger at the Paw. “You may have learned much of his unarmed methods, but your focus is bound by rules of sparring. Should one whom plays not by such restrictions seek to harm him, your end shall be the last he sees.”
Pan deflated, her ears drooping as she acknowledged the point.
“You train with Violet, no?”
She nodded, not really sure why it would be related.
Tel hummed, her expression contemplative. A blur originated from her resting arm, Pan’s conditioned reflexes slipping by the thrown knife and closing the distance to deliver a spinning back kick with her right leg from a more favourable angle once she had successfully dipped below the path of the blade.
The impact of a successful hit allowed her to use the recoil to bounce her weight in order to counteract the rotation, an arm held out to set her balance then pulled in to increase her speed. The same leg fired for the body from a new origin, the limb meeting empty air. Her instincts hauled the leg down with her body, the slight whistle of an edge whizzing over where her head was being a familiar sound.
The foot touched ground, her tail bracing the newly landed limb as she adjusted the other to launch vertically behind her, her aim being to break the guard of...
The disconnect between sparring her kit and the female who had taken a defensive posture caught her off guard, her leg halted from finishing the devastating kick to the jaw. The knife in her paw held blood.
Panicked, she righted herself cautiously, inspecting Tel for injuries that she may have accidentally inflicted. A cut along the female’s neck must have happened when she tried to stabilize herself, the weapon forgotten.
Tel eased, the looped end of her usual dagger facing forward as the flat side was about to be used to deflect the kick. She put it in her holster with the others, an analytical eye sizing the white-furred female up. She spoke with an interested tone.
“Where was that before?”
Pan clasped her paws in front of her chest, the weapon dropped as worry for the cook outweighed the thought of answering the question. “Are you okay? It was not my intention to harm you.”
Tel touched the cut, a grunt returned as she dismissed the injury. “Worry not, it is shallow. I had not watched your spars with the den-kit, so i had underestimated your training.” She glanced at the Paw. “Why could you not do as much before?”
Pan shook her head weakly, unsure why there seemed to be such a divide between the two extremes.
Tel approached slowly, her posture low as she inspected the white-furred female’s form. “What was going through your mind?”
She stalled, unsure of the specifics. “I was comparing the situation to training with Violet.”
The admittance raised a brow. “You attack your kit so violently?”
Pan shyly looked away. “She is skilled enough to require i do as such.”
“Hmm. Perhaps i should spar her as well. We never did get around to having her test her mettle against the pack, did we?”
She shook her head. “No, much occurred in short order, so Joseph didn’t feel it was appropriate to encourage such. None would know how to best avoid injury.”
“And you do?”
Pan blushed at her accidentally boastful phrasing, but nodding to agree anyway. She had trained with Violet since they were both newly introduced to competent combat techniques, leading to both growing with the other’s safety in mind. It also meant that, once they had reached a point in their development that they could be reasonably sure that they could stop any harm from coming of it, they could utilize the vulnerabilities they had found in spars.
Tel gave her a long look. “Kill me.”
“What?” The blink came at the same time as the word, her ear flicking in a vain attempt to ensure she had heard correctly.
The female reset her position, drawing two of her usual knifes instead of the practise blade she had been wielding previously. “I said; Kill me. More accurately,
try to.”
Pan shook her head rapidly. “I don’t-”
The air shimmered as her tail bore some of her weight, the subconscious shift away from the sharp edge forcing her body into its habits. “And if i were targeting him?”
“Tel, i think we-” The slight skim against her neck triggered a reaction.
Throwing her weight down, she shifted it from her tail to her rear leg, lurching forward into the extended arm. Her front foot gained purchase, pushing herself up to encircle the target’s neck from under the shoulder. She reached with her other paw, capturing the wrist of the first and applying pressure while hauling the weight of her opponent over her knee, releasing the hold once the tipping point was exceeded.
A swift punch towards the throat was halted as the body impacted the ground, her reluctance to do more harm to the female causing her to pull the strike before it could build up too much speed.
Tel’s laughing stripped her of the haze, the female having used her tail to slow the strike further and redirecting it away from her neck with the flat of a knife, her free paw holding the second dagger outwards to stab at the ribs of the white-furred female.
“Perhaps i need not forge you from nothing.” Tel commented, releasing Pan’s limb once an effort to remove it was given. “Your only limitation now is that you lack a weapon in which to compliment your style, though i believe we shall have one in our paws soon enough. It would assist you greatly if you were to follow through, however.”
Pan offered the female assistance to her feet, the latter accepting without pause. “I do not enjoy having to react in such ways. Joseph has taught me much, but it would be against his wishes were i to wantonly embrace violence.”
Tel tapped her on the nose with her dagger before sheathing it, leaving Pan to rub her snout as the female spoke. “I suppose that is but one art he has ingrained within you?” The Paw’s refusal to meet her eyes answered for her. “Will you not act when one aims for his life?”
A pain became apparent behind her voice. “I wish to embrace his moral. I should not use his teachings to take a life unless there is no other option.” Pan’s gaze fell to her feet. “I have allowed myself to fall into those lessons rashly before, and i fear i would not be able to amend what i might wrongfully do.”
The Blade sighed, waving a paw to disregard the notion. “I suppose that we can say he has taught you enough for your function, though you are woefully insufficient in other ways.” Tel walked to the door, gesturing for Pan to follow. “We will continue our sessions, though it will be to familiarize you with weapons and methods that others will use. To be ignorant is to allow your Sheath to fall before your eyes, dull one. You would do them well to throw yourself to the Void before you make them suffer such inadequacies by your own paw.”
Pan frowned, the meaning of her declaration only partially understood. Tel paused in front of the sewing room, shifting her head to look back with an eye. “Apologies, i suppose it would be unfair of me to attribute your allegiances to my own. You seek to defend as his shield rather than eliminate as his Blade, yes?”
She nodded, not entirely sure where Tel was going with this, a sensation that continued to grow ever since the female offered to teach her ways that would keep her bond safe. It was as if there was a darker side to the one whom her bond had fallen for, though their interactions spoke to the fact that he has become aware of such and accepted her in spite of it. The Paw decided to trust in the dubious nature of the cook, placing her faith in the male whom has become her centre.
“Then we will focus on observation and threat appraisal for now. I can hardly allow my attentions to slip while none are able to supplement myself.” Tel proceeded into the room, her piece said with a somewhat resigned lilt.
A worrying thought crossed Pan’s mind as she followed. “Am i preventing you from confirming your affections with him?”
“I have more than yourself to worry about, fear not.” She gestured lazily to the stack of fabrics they had chosen together last sun. “I believe you require my measurements now, no?”
The Paw frowned, but figured that if she
was inhibiting the newfound love from being fulfilled, then at least these efforts would assist further. She pulled several lengths of palm as Tel disrobed, considerations for what she would make specifically proving difficult to muse.
The nicks in the strips were made silently, Pan ruminating on her unintended effect in stalling their relations. Tel exhaled, eventually speaking in a voice devoid of the harsh edge she had adopted since entering the gym, the tone soft and weary.
“Could you tell me about him? I fear i know little more than the others.” A sadness took root in her voice. “I have harmed him with my lacking in such areas already. I wish to do him no more.”
Pan paused, glancing up to see the female fixing her gaze out of the window bashfully. An unfamiliar sight, to be sure. A smile formed on her muzzle, her motions as she continued to get the information she needed much more natural now that Tel had shown her again why Joseph would be taken with the female.
“I suppose i should start with his blood-mother, a female who dreamed of the stars...”
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
The growled incoherence from the Grand Hunter drew a chuckle from Jax, the Human’s struggle with the consonance proving to be rather amusing.
“This shit hurts my throat.” He complained, stroking the affected area and taking a deep drink from his water. Jax tried to keep the smirk from forming, though based on Joseph’s face, he wasn’t doing a very good job of it.
“Worry not, Grand Hunter, this is an expected hurdle to overcome.”
The Human glowered at him for a moment, his nostrils flaring as he exhaled forcefully. “Says the one who learned a language by listening to us talk for a while.”
“Violet has made great strides in learning such.” He gestured to the den-kit who was currently practising the alphabet for Joseph’s language. “She is endeavouring to master two, even.”
A sigh was returned for his argument, a satisfied smile overcoming his friend as the Human observed his kit apparently doing her task with great proficiency. “She’s doing better than i expected.”
Jax looked over the work, though could only comment that the lines were done more uniformly than the male’s. “Will she be able to communicate with you soon?”
Joseph blew air from his mouth as he rose his brows. “Maybe? It’ll depend on how she handles spelling. It’s a bit of a nightmare at times.”
“She has shown no struggle within our own script.” Jax offered, noticing the wince.
“Eh. We’ll see. It’ll be easy enough to go over basic phrases, in any case.”
Violet finished her repetition, displaying the result for her adoptive den-father to inspect. Joseph stroked the kit’s head while praising her for a job well done. The Atmo fetched a smaller tablet in which to scratch on, showing Jax the result with an excited bounce.
[I am improving!]
The Lilhun felt his chest rumble with the chuckle he encouraged. “You are, Violet. We are both very proud of you.” The sight of the Human looking at him longingly drew his attention. “You have denied my affections before, Grand Hunter. Do you wish for me now that i am displaying how useful to your kit i may be?”
“Welp, it was nice while it lasted.” The male deadpanned, extending his middle finger towards Jax, the Lilhun waving a paw in return.
“You will have similar exchanges in future, i am sure.” He reassured casually. “Perhaps it will be me whom looks on in envy.”
The Human smiled wistfully at him, the gaze somehow hurting. “You’ll be a good dad, Jax.”
The Lilhun, for once, found no witty retort to his friend’s words. No sarcasm, no wish to detract from the meaning loaded behind those wishes that cried into his soul, knowing that the male may never have what he wanted for the one teaching his adoptive kit.
Jax forced a smirk, a small decision made in his mind, though he would wait until it was time. For now, he was to assist this Human reach a deep desire within him. It was a small return for what he had been given.
“I fear that you are skipping on your practise, Grand Hunter.”
Joseph exhaled. “What sound am i ripping my throat out over again?”
The Lilhun chuckled, demonstrating again and taking the extra effort to emphasize and explain the subtleties for his benefit. The resulting imitation being butchered, though closer than before.
The Human coughed, taking a drink after it calmed down enough to do so and he had assured his kit that he was not ill. “Isn’t there anything easier to start with?”
Jax thought about it before shaking his head. “Easier? Yes. More fundamental? No. Much of what you gain with this will be a boon while you learn the rest.”
A thump sounded out as Joseph dropped his head onto the table. “I hate Lilhun.”
“And yet you seek to bed two.”
He rolled his head to the side to glare at the Head. “I’m including you in the things i hate.”
Jax held a paw to his chest, flinching as if wounded. “My love, you must be gentle with me.”
“Fuck you and your gravel-ass language.”
The male reached over to pat Joseph on the back. “Come. You are improving, but success is not the only marker of progress. It will take time to make the motions comfortable.”
The Grand Hunter looked at him lazily. “Fine, but you’re teaching me how to tell you to shut up. It’s looking like it’ll be more fun to yell at you in your language than mine.”
Jax grinned. “I look forward to offering you myself in more ways as well.”
“God, i regret everything.”
The facilities door pressed open, the Human quickly feigning interest in the script that Violet was quietly working on near by. Tel sauntered into the hub, gesturing behind her as she wandered up to the two.
“Joseph, Silva has called and requested your presence. Pan is waiting in your stead.”
The Human’s brows shot up. “Oh, shit. Okay. I’ll go see what’s up.”
Violet quickly laid down her materials and hurried to Joseph’s side.
“You wanna come say high to Sil, Violet?”
A chittered reply was accompanied by an excited bouncing, the male laughing and resting his paw upon the kit’s back.
“Come on then. Jax, sorry to cut the lesson short. Let me know when you have time again!”
The Lilhun shook his head at how eager his friend was to abscond with his other student. “Of course, Grand Hunter. You will be notified.”
Joseph held up a thumb as he walked away. “Thanks, buddy! I owe you.”
Jax didn’t have time to come up with something funny before the doors closed behind the pair, leaving him in the room with Tel. He glanced to the bored-looking female.
“I am surprised you would claim him as your own.” He commented absently, unsure of what else he would like to talk about with her, given the lack of new topics at his disposal. Tel focused on him, a scoff given as a smug look of satisfaction crossed her face.
“Perhaps if you had proven better, it may have been
you burying your face between my thighs earlier this sun.”
He blinked, watching the female walk through the dormitory doors with her tail swinging in off-set circles behind her. His gaze fell to the floor in front of him, memories of before they had joined Joseph’s pack coming to bear. Of those moons where it had felt like she was slightly more flirtatious than her usual displays would leave him to believe.
He didn’t regret ending up with Harrow, his mate was irreplaceable to him, but it was still worth at least pondering the possibilities, even if only for a moment before they were banished to the realm of the inconsequential.
“Shame.”
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
The terminal screen was displaying the sparse office of a Union member, the sterile colours and textures far from engaging. In the centre of the display sat a fairly dishevelled Trilaxin, her plumage untended and movement sluggish. Stress was clear in her expression, as was the lack of sleep that took its toll on their species much faster than his own.
Joseph distorted his face in worry. He may have only talked to the woman once, but she was doing him a huge favour by looking into everything, and she was a close friend of Rob’s. “Jesus, Sil. You okay?”
She ignored his question, conflict evident as she opened and closed her beak while trying to find the right words to say. “Joseph, i have decoded the information they retrieved from an Atmo-origin object travelling to Sol. Were you told about this?”
“The pack filled me in, yeah. What was in it?”
She cycled a slow breath, glancing at the occupants of the room, though it was only the three of them there at the moment. Violet reached for a tablet, finding that she only had one on-hand at the moment. She paused before deciding to wave with her joint in lieu of a more concise method of greeting that would take up space which might be used to say something else. A small smile was returned by the avian until she spoke, her voice falling grave.
“It’s a video file. It was programmed to be broadcast once it was within range and it was...” She fell quiet for a while, Joseph unsure if he should interject. Her feathers shimmered as she regained her confidence. “I believe you should see it, considering your connection to them. It will answer more questions than i could reasonably answer.”
He furrowed his brow in uncertainty. “Sure? How am i supposed to do it? Will you just send it or...”
She shook her head, an empty laugh given in exchange. “I can pass through the feed, though i will not be able to continue once it is over. It will be too risky to keep the system running after.”
Joseph nodded in partial understanding, glancing to Pan and Violet to get their opinions. Pan smiled encouragingly and Violet nodded her assent to the arrangement. He turned his attention back to the terminal. “Okay. Sorry we couldn’t talk longer.”
Silva gave a weak smile as she took a breath, a necklace running through a thin gold ring shifting against her breast. “We will speak again, Joseph. Just...” Her eyes glanced away from the screen. “Never mind. I’ll get in touch once a friend of mine gets access to the Lilhun data, okay?”
A frown tugged at his lips, but he tried to look more thankful for her hard work. It was obviously far harder on her than he would have thought previously, and the mention of her actively waiting on more information suggested that she had at least confirmed there was things to find. “Take it easy, Sil. You look like hell.”
A soft chuckle trilled from her beak, the look on her face implying that it wasn’t the first time today she was told that. “I must, mustn't i?” She shook her head softly. “Take care Joseph. I am glad to see that you returned in good health.”
He returned the smile as she reached to do whatever needed to be done. “Take care.”
The screen flickered to a deep grey, the darkness artificial. A ‘rec’ watermark appeared at the top of the image in time with the hum of background noise and an undertone of static. A deep voice spoke in accented English, subtitles being displayed underneath in the language as well as what Joseph could place as Atmo script, though he couldn’t be sure if Sil had provided the translation or if it was embedded in the file previously. Violet took a step closer to the terminal when she noticed.
“I hope this reaches them.”
As soon as the words were out, the scene changed to a haggard looking man standing in the corner of a room, looking somewhere in his forties based on the smile lines and deep creases on his forehead, a coat having been hastily tossed on over a t-shirt and jeans. He held his lowered head in his hands, giving his face a rough rub before raising it slowly to look at the recording device, the redness in his eyes and bags underneath them speaking to more than one night that he would have preferred in a bottle. It was a look Joseph recognized from the bathroom mirror back in his apartment, and a feeling he knew all too well.
The unkempt facial hair, the lack of sleep due to nightmares, the overwhelming urge to curl into a ball and let death take you one second at a time. It was a look of a man who had lost everything and had nothing left to fight for.
“Attention people of Sol. We have come to present evidence of the Union using their power to unilaterally commit genocide on newly discovered sapient races for no reason other than their fear of an uprising from members who have supported their government for millennia. My name is Adam Callam, and i present to you...” The man’s voice broke, a sob fought back in a desperate attempt to keep himself composed, his face contorted in his struggle not to give into agony. “I present to you a video log of our interactions with new races under the guise of a ‘socialization procedure’. Kind people of great curiosity, acceptance, friendship, and loyalty. People who accepted us as their own with no promise of anything in return, and people who... People who...”
The video cut to the man holding a drink in his hand and a cigarette freshly extinguished into a newly placed ashtray. A barely hidden bottle of alcohol could be discerned at the edge of the screen, Adam having moved to sitting at a table between scenes. The man cleared his throat, it being much hoarser than before.
“And people who... Who sacrificed many... to save just me and my family.” He stared at the desk for a moment, a fresh tear proving difficult to dissuade. “No. People who
became our family. People of Sol. Members of Humanity. Please. See what kind of beings are being kept from us and stolen of their right to live... See what people made the ultimate sacrifice to save a Human couple and their child from unprovoked bombardment... And what i am asking you to do in return.”
The man’s sorrow faded in an instant, his gaze into the screen intense and focused. Pan reached out and held Joseph’s hand, resting her free paw on Violet’s shoulder as the Atmo watched, absorbed by the story unfolding in front of them.
“Watch what the Union is doing behind the curtain, just to prove to themselves that they are the ultimate authority. That they can play God, merely because of their own convictions and desire for control... Watch the happiest moments of my life be ripped away from me because of them.”
Adam took a deep drink of his booze, wincing when the burning hit his throat.
“Watch, and then make a decision. A decision on the fate of those people... Because you are the only hope they have left.”
The man reached forward to interact with the device, his eyes having turned from despair to a cold determination that resonated with the Grand Hunter.
The screen flickered again. Joseph gripped Pan’s paw as he watched with baited breath.
Next
A/N: I'm not apologizing for the cliff. I might end up slipping the next chapter in two if i feel all the detail is needed, so... We'll see. i'll try to condense it, but no promises. First time mom to a 4 month baby boy. Ever since he was born, we’ve been dealing with boundary stomping and overbearing tendencies from my MIL. Baby boy is her first grandchild and she is VERY excited, but the excitement comes across very intensely and she has a tendency to make everything about her and her experience as a first time grandma, rather than about us having our first child. Examples of her behavior over the past four months include:
-wanting to hold him constantly when she’s around him; not wanting to give him back when he fusses or is hungry; telling me “he’s fine!!” when I suggest he needs to nurse -saying things like “I want to quit my job and become his full time caretaker” or “I’m making a bedroom for him in our house so he can stay over all the time!” -saying “I wish he had brown eyes like me” (baby has blue eyes like both his father and me) -holds her hands out whenever she wants to hold him. My husband has been pushing back on this, saying things like “I’m holding him right now, I’ve got him” and she will push back, to which he responds “I’m his dad” and she says “well I’m his grandma!!” -calling my husband a baby hog when this happens; saying he hovers over baby too much -calls him “my boy,” “my baby” etc -doesn’t listen to us when we tell her what he needs (ex: if he’s fussing and we say he needs a nap or wants his paci, she’ll dismiss us and say he’s fine) -we see them probably once every other week, but she found out my mom has been coming over to help out with baby (my mom is much more lowkey and very respectful of our boundaries). MIL said she wants to plan a dedicated day throughout the week where she can come over and help. We don’t need the help. We have childcare already (baby goes to a daycare center right next to our house). She says she wants to do this so she “can be part of baby’s life” - he’s barely four months old!!!
I’m very conflict-avoidant and am a huge people pleaser, so I struggle with establishing boundaries and knowing whether my feelings are valid or not. I know she’s just very excited to be a grandma, but it’s like she’s trying to re-live her glory days as a mom and doesn’t respect our authority as parents. DH is going to have a very direct conversation with her (he’s talked with her multiple times about it but I don’t think he’s been direct enough in the past). I just keep wavering back and forth worrying I’m being too hard on her, but she makes me feel very uncomfortable and my protective momma bear instincts come out in full force whenever we are around her. It feels like she’s trying to claim stake over my baby. Am I overreacting?
Full-time or part-time. Office in Makati, day-time duty.
(Posting for a friend, but DM for details)
First time mom to a 4 month baby boy. Ever since he was born, we’ve been dealing with boundary stomping and overbearing tendencies from my MIL. Baby boy is her first grandchild and she is VERY excited, but the excitement comes across very intensely and she has a tendency to make everything about her and her experience as a first time grandma, rather than about us having our first child. Examples of her behavior over the past four months include:
-wanting to hold him constantly when she’s around him; not wanting to give him back when he fusses or is hungry; telling me “he’s fine!!” when I suggest he needs to nurse -saying things like “I want to quit my job and become his full time caretaker” or “I’m making a bedroom for him in our house so he can stay over all the time!” -saying “I wish he had brown eyes like me” (baby has blue eyes like both his father and me) -holds her hands out whenever she wants to hold him. My husband has been pushing back on this, saying things like “I’m holding him right now, I’ve got him” and she will push back, to which he responds “I’m his dad” and she says “well I’m his grandma!!” -calling my husband a baby hog when this happens; saying he hovers over baby too much -calls him “my boy,” “my baby” etc -doesn’t listen to us when we tell her what he needs (ex: if he’s fussing and we say he needs a nap or wants his paci, she’ll dismiss us and say he’s fine) -we see them probably once every other week, but she found out my mom has been coming over to help out with baby (my mom is much more lowkey and very respectful of our boundaries). MIL said she wants to plan a dedicated day throughout the week where she can come over and help. We don’t need the help. We have childcare already (baby goes to a daycare center right next to our house). She says she wants to do this so she “can be part of baby’s life” - he’s barely four months old!!!
I’m very conflict-avoidant and am a huge people pleaser, so I struggle with boundaries and knowing whether my feelings are valid or not. I know she’s just very excited to be a grandma, but it’s like she’s trying to re-live her glory days as a mom and doesn’t respect our authority as parents. DH is going to have a very direct conversation with her (he’s talked with her multiple times about it but I don’t think he’s been direct enough in the past). I just keep wavering back and forth worrying I’m being too hard on her, but she makes me feel very uncomfortable and my protective momma bear instincts come out in full force whenever we are around her. It feels like she’s trying to claim stake over my baby. Am I overreacting?
Just a general trigger warning. Too much to list lol.
Been on T on and off for about 5 years. Had to stop T twice already, once due to a perceived hostile environment, once due to internalized transphobia and nightly panic attacks that I was going to regret my transition. I am afraid of a third period without T because both were awful experiences, physically and emotionally.
I've always had anxiety about giving myself shots, but it kept getting worse and got so bad that I was throwing up, passing out (waking up on the floor with a needle in my leg!!), and this of course made me put my shots off more and more. This caused me to start bleeding again, yay! Apparently I haven't been taking my shots right, because I was literally never taught how to do my shots*, so hopefully if I go back to shots I will be able to take them with less stress.
During my appointment with planned Parenthood, I mentioned that and they put me on the gel. I think that I was given too high a dosage, because the amount of gel I had to physically put on my skin was unmanageable and I felt sick that first day that I took it. Called them, had to play the phone hold game for about an hour before they got back to me, and yeah they aren't sure but sure I can take half a dose if I think that's right for me. Super infoative, very helpful. So, not knowing if I am taking the right dosage, also having terrible ADHD that makes me "forget" to put the gel on because it is a pain in the ass to sit around with my pants down waiting for it to dry. Started with me skipping a day here or there, it's gotten to me forgetting my meds more days than I remember them. Also, my shower drains keep getting clogged because of whatever is in the T gel. And I am living in communal housing now, with about 10 people, most female, sharing one shower, so I am worried about contamination from the gel.
To add to this mess. I have moved around twice a year since 2015. My life since college has been one long story of seasonal work, poverty, job and housing instability, etc. I have lived in 5 states at nearly 20 addresses since 2015. Living with my family is not an option. As you can imagine, this makes medical treatment difficult to access. Every time I move to a new planned Parenthood region, I have to pretty much act like a new patient and get all my labs re-done, no matter how recently my labs were done. I just recently left a state that I managed to live in for one whole year (a record), to a state where there is very little access to trans care. For those of you outside the US, doctors can only prescribe T within their state because it is a controlled substance.
There are two places to get on T here, both large healthcare centers in the state's capitol, so like 3-4 hours away. Planned Parenthood here is not accepting patients because there are already too many people in their program. I messaged one of the hospitals providing care and made the mistake of also mentioning that I would need help with finances (I am working on a farm in exchange for food and housing, if I had the energy to get a second job in town I would probably be making about 400 a month), so surprise surprise, they never responded. I don't want to bother with the other provider, honestly.
I have about two months supply of the gel stockpiled, but again, taking this is not really an option. My friend who is currently over prescribed gave me a 1mL vial, but this can't be a regular thing. Meanwhile, my bleeding is getting stronger, my body shape is slowly reverting. My face passed as male for about a month or two but has now gone back to very much female-reading, but I don't want to shave my face and lose my one last bit of gender euphoria. My emotions are getting harder and harder to handle. To a suicidal degree.
God, I miss my college doctor. My school had a trans healthcare specialist, and for $7 I could get an appointment with someone who has been pretty much the only healthcare provider I have felt a genuine human connection with. Someone who actually cared and didn't just see me as another appointment to cross off the list. (Also was somehow able to prescribe me 10mL vials, which... If you've ever had to deal with .35mL injections from 1mL vials, you know what a pain in the ass scraping your last 3/4 of a dose out of the vial is.) Now, I feel like my only option is to go the DIY route, risky as it is. I am already feeling like I am medically detransitoning, and I seriously cannot stop T a third time.
*major transphobia warning. I had to get on T somewhere other than my school because my school could only continue care, so I scheduled an appointment in my hometown area during break. My mom decided to come with me to support me, but upon reading the informed consent form she, a nurse, kept acting disgusted by like. The list of changes T will bring to your body. Anyways she very conveniently had a nail appointment that she was afraid of missing due to my doctor's appointment. I, the eternal pushover she had given PTSD to, agreed to let her show me how to do the shots at home because she's a nurse, she knows how. Once we are at home, she decides that I need to talk with my dad one last time to see if he can convince me not to take T. So I wait a few days until I can see him in person. He asks me again and again why I am taking T, and it just doesn't get to his head. He tells me I should wait until I had experienced "life and love" as a woman, and that I would never find a partner who would be interested in me. Unconvinced, I return to my mom's and ask her to show me how to do the shot like she told me she would. She blows up on me. In all the years of verbal abuse I had received, I had never seen her go from 0 to 100 so fast. Instantly screaming at me abouthow stupid and immature I am, getting my stepdad and grandma to join in, calling my dad for reinforcements. We have daily massive arguments the next three days. Constant deadnaming and misgendering. She has the gall to tell me "no matter what, you'll always be my daughter" like that's supposed to be fucking comforting. I finally gather the guts to YouTube how to take the shot and do it myself. This is the only time I have ever taken a shot without anxiety, just because of the massive emotional buildup to it. I forget my T at home and ask her to mail me the box I had been hiding my supplies in. She, of course, checks in the box without my permission and tells me how immature I am for starting T without knowing how to properly do a shot. I am fortunately able to immediately schedule my first appointment with my school doctor.
I think consulting is a very suitable job for me. I’ve been doing it for around 6-7 months but I’m already considering jumping ship simply because of the unbearable work hours. If this was your normal 9-6, as in, clock in at 9 and actually clock out at 6, I would be ecstatic. Is there really no way to work around these hours and stay in consulting? Is it really impossible to be a consultant WITHOUT working till 12-1 am every day?
I wish it was the type of job where you could close your laptop at 6 and not worry about work till the next day.