14 foot summer waves pool liner
The Chronicles of Marcus Hellyrr - Prologue
2023.06.09 16:12 Michael_AN_Creech The Chronicles of Marcus Hellyrr - Prologue
I'd like to start by letting everyone know that the genre is Fantasy Epic, and that this is a long prologue at 6,414 words. This prologue serves a purpose as it takes care of a lot of my setting and plot setup. It also gives the reader a fair bit of worldbuilding without making it too much of an info dump (talking to you Robert Jordan ;P).
I've had several people beta read this for me and gotten a lot of positive feedback. The prolbem for me is that these were all people I know very well on a personal level. Several have made comparisons to Chronicles of Narnia or Lord of the Rings as far as how well the full book is written. The problem is, friends and family can often have a bias and make things seem better than they really are. So, now I want to do a test run in the real world and see what people who don't know me think. Is it as engaging and compelling as they have made me hope that it is?
I'm basically wanting to take a page from a couple authors I admire and follow the ABC rule for critiquing. Please let me know of any point where you thought it was Awesome, Boring or Confusing. I know prologues aren't everyone's favorite thing, but this has basically been written like a novella for the main story as it foreshadows a lot of things leading all the way into book four.
————————————————————————————
PROLOGUE
ARCHIVE INFINITUM
October 14, 844 (Alt-Future)
"Welcome back to the Archive, Master Jonathan."
"Thank you, Charles. It's good to be back. Have you noticed anything interesting in the Physical Realm?"
"I have not, sir. Do you require any assistance today?"
"Thank you, but no. I'm only here to revisit a passage within the history of the Order. Shortly after, I'll depart for the reunion at the Tower."
"Excellent, sir. I'll leave you to it."
Jonathan emerged from the ether and walked through the Archive doors. Inhaling deeply, he breathed in the familiar scents of dusty cleanliness that can only truly be found in a place of learning. The lights reflected off the floor's white marble surface, casting a glow that evenly lit every corner of the large chamber. Even so, the room still felt cavernous to him, as if he were a galleon amidst the vastness of the ocean.
Jonathan appeared to be in his early to mid forties. Though, with the way he carried himself and the spring in his step, he seemed closer to his late twenties. His hair was shoulder length and dark gray. He wore bifocals though he hadn't needed them since his ascension, and dressed with a refined sense of style.
His gray eyes were by far his most interesting feature, though. They were the only hint of how old he truly was and the many adventures and travesties he'd witnessed. Regardless, how old he was didn't matter as age had long since lost its meaning for him. After all, being an immortal tended to give a man new priorities in life.
As he strolled across the room, a lift descended from the tower's heights. The square platform had waist high rails around its perimeter. It floated through the air showing no sign of a suspension system to raise or lower it. This was accomplished by a magical enchantment that allowed it to levitate and dart about the room at mind numbing speeds. As he stepped up onto the platform's dais, it landed on the floor in front of him. He took a position at its center, then, after folding his arms behind his back, mentally willed it to take him to floor eight hundred forty four.
It rose off the ground, gradually gaining speed until it was a hundred or so feet in the air. At that point, the platform took off like a rocket. The thought of what these speeds would do to him if this were outside the Realm of Intellect crossed his mind, making him chuckle nervously. He knew he had to be moving close to six hundred miles per hour.
Now, let me tell you a bit about Jonathan's pet project, The Archive Infinitum. The Archive is a magical structure he'd designed shortly after the cataclysm that nearly wiped out the human race. An event most of you now refer to as the Night of Burning Skies. That same event is also what gave us the powers we now refer to as magic.
Shortly after obtaining his ascension, he learned that science's multiverse theories were close to how reality really worked. There are an infinite number of parallel universes, or branching timelines, that coexist simultaneously. What was different is that each universe shared a common six realm structure. The Physical Realm, the Realm of Intellect, the Dominion of Shadows, the Plane of Enlightenment, the Land of the Forgotten, and the Ether.
He built the Archive within the Realm of Intellect so it wouldn't be bound by the laws of physics or time as we know them. Once the structure was anchored in place, he could set most of those parameters himself. What he didn't realize was that making it here would have an unintended, though not unwelcome, side effect. The structure's size, shape, and architectural style could change by anyone who entered it.
When someone enters the Archive, it ascertains their strength of mind and will. Suppose the individual's mental fortitude is deemed stronger than that of the other occupants. In that case, the appearance will adjust to one that best serves and appeals to that individual. This could become unsettling for the occupants already inside the first few times it happened. That being said, it has no effect on the contents atop the shelves or where you're located within the structure. For Jonathan, it shared an uncanny resemblance to the George Peabody Library, though on a much grander scale.
The lift stopped after a brief ride, and Jonathan stepped off. He resumed his stride, passing row after row of the cherry wood bookcases. There were hundreds of rows and thousands of tomes and scrolls in each. As a scholar, he'd spent most of his existence here. But, even so, he knew there would always be something more to be gleaned from their pages.
Today was a day of remembrance. Of celebration. Of mourning. It was the anniversary of the end of a war that had lasted ten thousand years. With the death of one individual, a light of hope was given to many. For others, it was a bittersweet victory that left a void in their hearts. He'd come here today to revisit a passage that would return him to that fateful day. Reliving the event which granted them this peace, and once again, paying his respects to a dear friend.
"Ah, yes, yes, yes. Here we go."
The plaque on the side of the bookcase read, Row DD, Column 15. Now that he'd found the right one, he began scanning the shelves. It wasn't long before his hand landed on the tome he sought.
"Here it is." He pulled it down from the shelf. "My word. Has it truly been fifteen hundred years since I glanced through these pages?"
Looking at the cover, he chuckled. The combined magic of the Archive and the Realm had created a thin layer of dust. Giving it the feeling of something ancient and lost to time. Raising it to his lips, he blew the dust away, causing the magic to dissipate as it fell to the floor. He pulled open the cover and rifled through the pages. The section he stopped at contained the account of Rexinon the Prophet's final words.
Summoning his divine magics, he channeled a spell into the tome. The words that once filled the passages began to fade away, leaving only the blank pages, which now bled a blueish gray smoke. The soft glow of the lights against the floor diminished as the smoke spread. As the darkness grew more substantial, luminescent spheres and arcs of brilliant blues and crimson could be seen dancing about its surface like lightning.
The ground trembled beneath his feet, and the smokey haze took on a more stormlike appearance. All around him, the air started to feel heavy, and the taste of dust and sea salt filled his mouth. A gentle rain began to fall, and the room's remaining lights winked out. If not for the increasing flashes of lightning, he would've been left in total darkness. But even this was not a comfort, as those flashes cast shadows against the storm's ever swirling walls. Many of which appeared to be dark things that should never be seen in the light.
The storm's intensity grew, bringing disorienting cracks of thunder and wind whipping around him. It assaulted his senses and seemed to have an almost vengeful purpose. That meant he had to constantly focus on the spell, bracing himself against the onslaught. If he failed, it would kill him without question.
Some of the shadows began to take on a physical form with details beyond what the walls could offer them. He watched as an hourglass tumbled end over end, circling him before it returned to the storm. A moment later, a blazing fireplace and mantle emerged but produced neither light nor heat. Finally, a door engraved with the crest of the Order appeared. These images were ones he'd expected to see for this particular passage, and so came as no surprise. However, when a fourth image appeared, he was caught off guard.
Although it was normal for three images to accompany this spell, an occasional fourth spoke of prophecy. He focused intently on this final image. It showed twelve people standing in a circle; one of them was coated in blood. Two others were bound by chains. One a man, the other a woman.
He looked closer at the man and realized it was Godric. His eyes opened wide as he tried to decipher the meaning behind the image. Only a few moments passed while he speculated, but it was a few moments too many. Disaster struck, and too late, he realized his mistake. He'd lost focus, and now the storm would surely take him.
Hurricane force winds and debris tore at his clothes, quickly turning them into rags. One powerful gust slammed into his side as if he'd been struck by a car, knocking him off his feet. The storm swelled with even greater ferocity. It threatened to consume him this time, and he wondered if it would finally cost him.
Rain and hail pelted his face and body, while dust and sand stung his eyes. As he wiped away the grit, a bolt of lightning struck before him, temporarily blinding him. He got to his hands and knees, gasping for breath as the storm continued to beat him relentlessly.
Steeling himself against the pain, he rose to his feet. As fast as he could manage, he began casting mental defenses and barriers to protect his mind from the horrific assault. He bellowed in defiance of the storm, "I will not let it end this way! I refuse!" One defense after another was laid upon his person, until finally, he succeeded. The winds died to a breeze as the rain became little more than a summer misting.
He heard the sound of a quill scratching against paper over the storm's remnants, and the air behind his back grew hot as a crackling fire joined the room's ambiance. The sickly sweet smell of incense filled his nostrils, reminding him of days spent in his master's study. Another fond memory.
The storm wall vanished as the tremors subsided, making the room visible through a misty haze. The light of the fireplace cast his shadow across the now rough cut gray stone floor. Half a dozen tapestries hung around the room, and a liquor cabinet stood at the room's far corner. The main entry door remained closed to his left, and the doorway to the study's balcony lay to his right. At the room's center sat Rexinon at his desk, writing furiously on a piece of parchment.
Wiping the sweat from his brow, he breathed a sigh of relief. Although he'd done this countless times, the journey into the pages of history was always filled with peril. But, blessedly, the most intense part of the spell was complete. And while he could now relax in that fact, that fourth image still concerned him.
He stood in the familiar square room, clothing restored to its original state. The evening's air flowed through the open windows, making the ambient temperature quite cozy. Crossing the room, he paused at the desk and listened as Rexinon started muttering. "What I wouldn't give for a typewriter, much less a computer. Would make this so much faster."
Jonathan couldn't help but crack a smile. "Oh, but how many times have I thought the same thing, old friend?" He remarked, though he knew Rexinon couldn't hear him.
He stepped up to the desk and leaned over it. Looking down at the paper Rexinon was writing on, he frowned. Like so many times before, it appeared as little more than black scribbles on a page. Those words had to be important, but there was no way to know.
This was one of the spell's critical weaknesses. The details within the vision were only as precise as what was written in the tome. Most of the books in the Archive were magically transcribed. The benefits of this were completed histories free of victor and writer biases. Although, it wasn't flawless.
Throughout history, there have been individuals or events that the spell couldn't see. The most well known examples of these blips in time were the United States presidency of Franklin D. Roosevelt from 1933 to 1945 and the United Kingdom's Prime Minister, Michael Durham, from 2063 to 2065. All that is known about them was their lives before office and the accounts written by those around them. These gaps in history were generally the result of one of two things. In these two cases, a place or individual with a strong connection to the Dominion of Shadows.
Sighing, he pushed off the desk and crossed the room to the liquor cabinet. He opened the glass doors, pulling several bottles and a glass from the shelves. He made a drink consisting of three parts Red Adders Bite and one part Dry Amorian Blood Wine, then added a lime wedge to the rim of the glass. The others wouldn't arrive for another half hour, leaving him time to kill.
He walked around the room with his drink in hand and studied the various tapestries, several of which he'd been a part of. Each one depicted an accomplishment or tragedy facilitated by the Order. All save one, which showed a scene from the event that started it all.
The one to the left of the cabinet showed the Order's founding. In the background stood a grand tower of black and white marble. Its four sides were engraved with the Mark of Hellyrr, which glowed with a magical light. In front of it stood a man facing a gathered crowd, his arms swept wide in triumph. They looked up at him and the structure with reverence and awe.
He continued to move in a counterclockwise manner around the room. Above the main entry door hung another tapestry. One he was even depicted in. It showed the aftermath of a massacre. Six figures stood amidst the bodies of hundreds. The earth around them was scorched by flame, and the blood of the fallen had stained it red. The cloud covered sky glowed a deep crimson with gold outlines from the fires below. It had come to be known as the Cleansing of Elysian, in which the entirety of the planet's second continent had been annihilated to preserve the world.
"I wish it had never come to this. Why can't we all just get along? Instead of thriving in the prosperity of our two lands, they plotted and began planning to bring war to our own people. To rape, pillage, and enslave them. Even with all my vast knowledge and wisdom, I can't understand why they felt the need to dominate and control the world." He looked back up at the tapestry. "Even now, most of the land is still uninhabitable."
He turned around and looked at the tapestry above the balcony door. This one would appear out of place with the others to all but a few handfuls of people. Even for those who learned the truth behind it, it looked like little more than an artist's vision of what a beautiful landscape at sunset should look like. The sky is dotted with hundreds of stars as shades of red, orange, and yellow dance across the land's horizon. The artist's point of view appears to be looking down from a hillside. Down the hill's slope, you can see a pond teaming with wildlife along its edge. The remaining landscape is filled with miles of forest stretching toward the horizon.
For the few who survived this event and still remained, they knew it depicted the final moments of their world before all of humanity was nearly lost.
Jonathan fixated on this tapestry more than he had on the others. The longer he stared, the more distant his expression grew. Over time, his breathing quickened, and his grip on the glass slipped. It shattered as it hit the floor, causing the rug to stain from the liquid. The sound jerked him out of the trance like state, making him feel ill.
He could still recall the memory of that long ago day like it were yesterday. The thought of how close humanity had come to extinction made his legs weak, and he stumbled back against the wall behind him. He slid down the stones' cool surface and noticed his hands were now trembling. Through shuddering breaths, he uttered the words of a broken man. "So much death. So many lives were lost that day. So many. Oh, Sonia. Even after all this time, I still miss you."
The main entry door slammed open, crashing against the wall with a loud bang. Jonathan jerked as one of them collided mere inches from where he sat. The startling sound had been enough to pull him from his stupor, but it still took a moment for him to gather himself. A man in the doorway lowered his foot from where he'd obviously kicked the unlocked door in.
"Knock, knock, Rex. Seems you've done it now."
"Seth. I'll never understand the animosity you held for Rexinon," Jonathan said wearily as he got to his feet.
Seth stood just shy of five foot eight inches and had slick black hair that he kept combed back. He wore black jeans and a beige dress shirt with mother of pearl buttons, which had seen far too much polish in recent days. A malevolent grin displayed his perfect teeth and careless eyes. He strode into the room, dragging a chair behind him, and placed it on the rug by the fireplace.
"Was kicking the door in really necessary, Seth?"
A second man stepped into the room, obviously annoyed by the unnecessary use of force. He wore a navy blue business suit and towered over everyone else in the room, and that was saying something considering Jonathan was six foot. As he still held to the standards of a marine, he kept his hair high and tight and his face clean shaven. He stood at the rug's edge out of respect for the Order so as not to mar the embroidered Mark of Hellyrr. A respect Seth clearly lacked.
"Godric Gibbs. This day changed you. Hell, it changed all of us, but few as much as you," Jonathan said. He looked back at the door as the third and final man entered. "Assassin."
This man was of a height with Jonathan and wore all black from head to toe. His outfit looked like something out of a TV show. Almost like a cross between Gi Joe's Snake Eyes, and CW Arrow's League of Assassins. After ten thousand years, all they knew about him was his previous occupation as a contract killer. It wasn't long before they'd taken to calling him Assassin, as they had no other name to go by. Any time he was asked a question regarding his past, he either remained silent or dodged it outright. He took a position to Godric's left and, like Godric, took care of where he stood on the rug.
The three men stood in silence and watched as Rexinon continued to write. Godric and Assassin seemed content to wait until he addressed them. On the other hand, Seth seemed to grow more agitated as the minutes passed. Jonathan chuckled in spite of himself.
About twenty minutes later, Rexinon spoke, "Reverend Seth Jones, Colonel Godric Gibbs, and Assassin. To what do I owe the pleasure?" His tone plainly indicated that he already knew.
Seth spoke first. "Oh, cut the crap, Rex. You already know why we're here. This cult thing of yours has gone on long enough."
"Well, there's the pot calling the kettle black," Jonathan muttered sarcastically.
Godric rolled his eyes. Everyone in the room knew about Seth's past as a cult leader. They also knew his anger was more at being forced to wait in silence than anything to do with Rexinon or the Order.
"Calm yourself, Seth. There's no need for such hostilities." Godric looked at Rexinon apologetically. "I'm sorry to have to do this, old friend, but my hands are tied. Rexinon the Prophet, Headmaster of the Hellyrrian Order, you've been charged with conspiracy to overthrow the governments of Aurelia and seize control for the Order.
"As we speak, the leaders of the Hellyrrian Order are being gathered for execution. Furthermore, your towers and all their artifacts will be destroyed, and any remnants of the Order's existence is to be wiped from the face of history. As of 0813 this morning, you have been sentenced to death. How do you plead?"
Rexinon continued to write at an incredible rate. He knew why they'd come. He'd known this was coming for months. After all, his gift was the gift of prophecy. The evidence for the charges against him was both substantial and ethereal, depending on what light was shown on it.
Two centuries ago, the Order had tracked the activities of an unknown number of individuals who'd been subtly manipulating several of the Aurelian governing bodies. They'd spread like a poison, corrupting them and turning once prosperous kingdoms which knew few hardships, into lands where the people had to fight just to survive. The problem was that whoever that force had been, always seemed to be just one step ahead of them. Now, not only was it check, but checkmate. The Order had lost.
"I believe the Righteous Twelve to be ill advised. I believe you've been manipulated by the same corrupted governing body which we've spent so long trying to purify—." Seth grunted. "—But," he said at length, "I accept all charges against me, save one. Neither myself nor anyone else of the Order has ever sought to rule Aurelia, as the charges would imply. The Cleansing of Elysian should've been proof enough to show that to be true."
Rexinon penned the final words of his letter and placed the pen back in its stand. Pulling the top off a jar, he dusted the page with a thin layer of sand to soak up any excess ink. After dumping the sand back into another jar to be cleaned, he pushed away from his desk and stood to look at his guests for the first time. After nudging his stool back under, he addressed Godric directly.
"Will you join me on the balcony one last time?"
Godric nodded his head and gestured towards the balcony doorway. As they stepped outside, Jonathan followed.
Rexinon leaned against the railing and looked out over the city, his gaze fixed on the setting sun. Godric joined him and looked down to the tower's base, some five hundred feet below. Although he was not afraid of heights, it gave him respect for the sturdily mounted railing at the balcony's edge.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Rexinon said. Godric looked at him, confused. "The way the world has turned out since that day? Ten thousand years of watching as civilization was rebuilt and destroyed time and time again by a senseless war. Watching them evolve into something more as they learned how to use these gifts we were given. In some ways, we're greater than we ever were. In other ways, we're inferior. If I have any regrets, it's that I couldn't do more to leave the people better prepared for this new age."
"Well spoken. If it's any consolation, I believe this is wrong. I even spoke out against the council for a different outcome. For my efforts, though, I was threatened with execution if I didn't cease my objections."
Rexinon's tone grew heated after hearing of the council's reaction. "You should know better than anyone why I fought so hard against them, then. I'm not against governance. I'm against corrupt governance. We had far too many corrupt politicians and warlords in our own time for me to ever want to allow it again."
Godric nodded his head. "Yes. The problem is you played too heavy a hand too quickly. Instead of accepting that they'd been beaten, they cheated by playing with an ace they had hidden up their collective sleeves."
Rexinon sighed, knowing his words were true. "Indeed. I've accepted my fate. I won't run. Won't even make it difficult for y'all. I have no need to. I would like to make one final request to ease your conscience, though."
Rexinon leaned toward Godric conspiratorially. As he did this, the world around them began to shimmer and distort. Almost like the motion blurring you'd see on a TV. Likewise, their conversation was masked by the sound of white noise and the sound of hushed incoherent whispers.
This was the second hurdle the scrying spells had to deal with. Individuals with divine magic could conceal their conversations or even the events they were a part of. Rexinon had concealed this conversation, and to this day, Godric has never spoken of what was said.
Jonathan returned to the study with a resigned sigh. There was nothing more he could learn from their conversation. Assassin stood in the same spot he'd been when he first entered the room and looked as if he hadn't so much as twitched. Seth, however, was rummaging through the desk's drawers. He'd tried to figure out what he was looking for in the past, but nothing seemed obvious.
The shards of glass from when he'd dropped his cup earlier had vanished, along with the stain on the rug from the liquor. As expected, the glass had returned to the cabinet, and the bottles had refilled to where they were before he'd arrived. This was yet another reminder that this was a magically induced vision of an event that had long since passed. It could be too easy to forget that this wasn't real and that if he spent too much time here, it would have consequences in the real world for him.
He knew they'd be out there a while. In previous visits, he'd occasionally spent this time combing through the room, similar to what Seth was doing. Having cataloged everything centuries ago, there was nothing left to do but wait. So, he walked around the desk and sat squarely within the Mark of Hellyrr embroidered on the rug. There, for the next hour or so, he would remain, arms folded, legs crossed, and eyes shut. Freeing his mind of all unnecessary thoughts and emotions. At least, that was the plan.
About forty minutes in, Seth started to grumble and complain, forcing Jonathan to give up on his meditation. "… I know he's one of the humblest among our kind, but lord, does he have to be so dull? I can't find anything interesting anywhere. Even his liquor cabinet is dull." Seth walked from behind the desk to the liquor cabinet, pulled a few bottles out at random, and read the labels aloud. "Red Adders Bite, Amorian Blood Wine. Christ, he's even got Athester's Sweet Malt. This crap might as well be water." He pulled another bottle down and said, "At least he's got the taste to have at least one bottle of Nordic Berserker."
"Some of us prefer the simpler things in life. You might find life more enjoyable when you aren't always looking for the rare and exotic," Assassin said with a disinterested, almost dismissive tone.
Seth clicked his tongue. "Hell, even this letter he was so focused on when we arrived makes no sense." Seth thrust the letter towards Assassin, who took it nonchalantly. "Look at this."
Jonathan studied Assassin intently, hoping for any sign that would reveal the letter's contents. It was no use, though; for all the emotion he showed, Jonathan would've thought it no more important than a grocery list. But, if that were the case, why obscure it from the eyes of the scrying spell? The frustration caused by such a simple sheet of paper was baffling.
Jonathan got to his feet as Rexinon and Godric returned. As Rexinon walked to stand at the center of the rug, Jonathan moved behind the desk. Godric walked toward Assassin and conversed with him for a few minutes. Once again, the sound of white noise shrouded what was said. This time, it was Godric who masked his words from the spell. When Assassin nodded, Godric moved beside him and faced Rexinon.
Rexinon looked at each tapestry and seemed to relive each as he did so. They all knew those accomplishments and tragedies would stand the test of time. Any efforts to change that would fall flat. The Order had played too significant a role in shaping this new world. Finally, he turned to Godric, kneeling as he met his regret filled eyes.
Assassin pulled an infamous rod from his side, dubbed the Executioner's Handle. Forged in the Dominion of Shadow by Assassin some three thousand years ago. It was one and a half feet long of shadow infused steel and bound with his own divine essence. Ominous black tendrils crawled along Assassin's hand like something alive and flowed into the handle. The shaft elongated, and an axe head formed at its end.
Though he had accepted his fate, seeing that axe form made Rexinon's heart stop momentarily. He looked at Godric questioningly. Godric knew what that look meant and nodded his head in assent. Agreeing to this had allowed them both to right several wrongs this night by asking one simple question. "Do you have any final words or requests?"
"I have two, if you'll grant them. The first, allow me to disband the Order formally as my final act as headmaster."
Seth started to protest, but Assassin lowered the axehead in his direction as a silent threat. Seth glared at Assassin with seething hatred. Godric nodded to Rexinon. "Proceed."
As the headmaster of the Hellyrrian Order, he had a mental connection with every member. Without hesitation, Rexinon's eyes began to glow with a brilliant purple hue. This would be Rexinon's final order, and Godric knew it would save thousands.
"My brothers and sisters, hear me now and heed my words. Abandon the Order and save yourselves. Flee to the hills and never look back to what we once were. With my dying breath, the Hellyrrian Order is no more. The governments of Aurelia have played a hand we can't stand against. Anyone who disregards this command will be hunted down and executed without mercy. To the leaders and guild masters of the Order, I charge you with dismantling everything relating to the Order and turning over every artifact and document you can to Godric the Just, Jonathan the Wise, or Assassin the Watcher. I also ask that you help calm those who feel outraged and betrayed by this night. Do not blame the Twelve, as they were little more than pawns in this corrupt game of politics. Farewell, my friends. My family. May the peace we have fought for be found in the coming days."
The glow faded, and he slumped forward onto his hands, his breathing labored. A few moments passed, and he managed to catch his breath but still looked towards the ground.
"The second request I have is that anyone who would heed that warning be spared. The ruling factions wanted me. As long as no one else causes trouble, we know they won't cause too much fuss over it."
His voice took on a much sharper edge as he looked back up. "You call us a cult, though you know we are nothing of the sort. On the contrary, our Order has stood for nearly five thousand years for the betterment of the entire world. How they treated you should tell you that what I said and what we were doing was justified."
"Shut your mouth, Rex!" Seth spat venomously.
Godric glared at Seth. His own anger with this situation was at the point of breaking free. "Be silent! I don't know what kind of grudge you have, but I, for one, don't give a damn what the council said. Rexinon doesn't deserve death for the crimes he's being accused of. Unfortunately, the ruling factions in almost every nation are corrupted and working towards being as corrupt as they were back in our day." Godric sighed. "Regrettably, my hands are tied, though. The law is the law, and I have been overruled on this matter. Regardless of what my conscience thinks, I will abide by the rules of the land."
Rexinon nodded, understanding Godric's situation perfectly. Godric had become the divine embodiment of law and justice at his ascension. While those two things work hand in hand, they are far from the same, and one must often walk a fine line to serve them both. In this case, the choices were clear. In the end, it didn't matter what he chose; he would inevitably betray one virtue or the other. Unfortunately, there was no good way for him to handle this, and Rexinon could see how this was affecting him.
"The majority of the Order will heed my warning. As for the leaders, if any are still alive, they will follow that command to the letter. They'll even aid you in handling any hotheads who resist," Rexinon said.
"The good news is that no one has yet been executed this evening. I'll personally see to it that those who abide by that order are given a chance to live long, productive lives within society. If all goes well, you will be the only casualty of this idiocy."
Rexinon gave the faintest sign of a smile with a halfhearted chuckle as he said, "Godric, one thing I'll not allow is any of the Order's work ending up in the hands of one of those tyrants. Therefore, I demand that Jonathan be given every document, scroll, and tome held within our strongholds for safekeeping." Rexinon felt exhausted. The spell to warn his Order took more out of him than anticipated.
"You're in no position to be making demands of us," Seth said. Godric finally snapped and struck him so hard that he slammed back into the wall beside the fireplace, cracking it. He got back to his feet a moment later, fixed his shirt, and looked down at the blood he'd wiped from his lip. Godric looked back at Rexinon.
"As you were saying."
"Assassin, I'd ask that you secure all our relics and artifacts, regardless of their magical significance. I don't need to tell you what all we have housed around Aurelia."
"No, you don't. The nukes of our time were nothing compared to some of those items," Assassin replied.
"We'll see to it that it's done. There are things within these walls that were never meant for untrained mortal hands," Godric added.
"Thank you."
"As for the texts, Jonathan will have a field day going through everything. There is far too much the council doesn't understand within these walls that we can't afford to lose."
"Godric was right, Rex. I still have everything. Much of which has been quite useful over the centuries,"
Godric turned his head away, no longer able to look Rexinon in the eye. "I no longer deserve the right to call you a friend, but is there anything else you would ask of me?"
Rexinon looked at Godric for a long time and couldn't help but smile. Not at his pain or suffering in following the orders given to him, but knowing that if anyone here had ever been a friend to him, Godric certainly was. With his final words, he left Godric with a warning.
"No, but I'll leave you with this. Be wary of those among you, for one will betray you all. My friend."
Godric nodded, accepting these as Rexinon's final words as a tear ran down his cheek. Rexinon lowered his head, and Assassin enveloped his axe's blade in a purple aura.
"Woah, Assassin, what's with the new color? Never seen that before," Seth asked.
Ignoring the question, Assassin swung the axe, severing Rexinon's head cleanly.
That night, the cries of the Order were heard in every city across Aurelia. All mourning the death of the Order's first, and last, headmaster.
Jonathan fought back tears of his own as he watched the axe's head vanish. Assassin secured the handle on his belt as he walked towards the desk. Godric looked as though he was going to be sick.
"Did you do as I asked?" Godric asked shakily.
"Of course. I may be a trained killer, but even I know this was bullshit, mate."
Seth walked over and picked up Rexinon's severed head by the hair. He held it up before him, a mischievous grin on his face. Then he whispered something into Rexinon's ear.
Assassin's eyes locked on Seth. As he let go of the head, he used one of his abilities, known as shadow step, to cross the distance to where Seth stood. Before Rexinon's head hit the ground, Assassin snatched it out of the air and punched Seth so hard that it sent him flying into the same section of the wall he'd hit earlier. He bounced off it, but the force of the impact sent several of the stones flying into the next room. Seth crumpled to the floor, where he lay unmoving for several seconds. After a while, his head snapped upright, and he began to laugh. He stood up as if nothing had happened and headed out the door. Godric, now seething with anger, watched as Assassin started to go after him. "Leave him. He's not worth your time."
Jonathan paced around the room, waiting for the spell to wear off. His heart ached, and his own anger toward Seth at that moment made him wish he could destroy the man. But that was Seth's way, and they'd all learned to let it go in time. The world began to blur and vanish, reverting to the Archive once again.
He closed the cover, placing the tome back on the shelf with a heavy sigh. His fingers lingered on the binding as he read the inscription, A Complete History of the Hellyrrian Order, Volume 666. Finally, Jonathan let his hand fall to the side as he walked away with his shoulders slumped.
As if speaking to an old friend, he lamented, "Damn you, Rex. Why couldn't you have just left well enough alone?"
As Jonathan walked away, he shed a tear at the loss of one of his closest friends.
submitted by Michael_AN_Creech to KeepWriting [link] [comments]
I've had several people beta read this for me and gotten a lot of positive feedback. The prolbem for me is that these were all people I know very well on a personal level. Several have made comparisons to Chronicles of Narnia or Lord of the Rings as far as how well the full book is written. The problem is, friends and family can often have a bias and make things seem better than they really are. So, now I want to do a test run in the real world and see what people who don't know me think. Is it as engaging and compelling as they have made me hope that it is?
I'm basically wanting to take a page from a couple authors I admire and follow the ABC rule for critiquing. Please let me know of any point where you thought it was Awesome, Boring or Confusing. I know prologues aren't everyone's favorite thing, but this has basically been written like a novella for the main story as it foreshadows a lot of things leading all the way into book four.
————————————————————————————
PROLOGUE
ARCHIVE INFINITUM
October 14, 844 (Alt-Future)
"Welcome back to the Archive, Master Jonathan."
"Thank you, Charles. It's good to be back. Have you noticed anything interesting in the Physical Realm?"
"I have not, sir. Do you require any assistance today?"
"Thank you, but no. I'm only here to revisit a passage within the history of the Order. Shortly after, I'll depart for the reunion at the Tower."
"Excellent, sir. I'll leave you to it."
Jonathan emerged from the ether and walked through the Archive doors. Inhaling deeply, he breathed in the familiar scents of dusty cleanliness that can only truly be found in a place of learning. The lights reflected off the floor's white marble surface, casting a glow that evenly lit every corner of the large chamber. Even so, the room still felt cavernous to him, as if he were a galleon amidst the vastness of the ocean.
Jonathan appeared to be in his early to mid forties. Though, with the way he carried himself and the spring in his step, he seemed closer to his late twenties. His hair was shoulder length and dark gray. He wore bifocals though he hadn't needed them since his ascension, and dressed with a refined sense of style.
His gray eyes were by far his most interesting feature, though. They were the only hint of how old he truly was and the many adventures and travesties he'd witnessed. Regardless, how old he was didn't matter as age had long since lost its meaning for him. After all, being an immortal tended to give a man new priorities in life.
As he strolled across the room, a lift descended from the tower's heights. The square platform had waist high rails around its perimeter. It floated through the air showing no sign of a suspension system to raise or lower it. This was accomplished by a magical enchantment that allowed it to levitate and dart about the room at mind numbing speeds. As he stepped up onto the platform's dais, it landed on the floor in front of him. He took a position at its center, then, after folding his arms behind his back, mentally willed it to take him to floor eight hundred forty four.
It rose off the ground, gradually gaining speed until it was a hundred or so feet in the air. At that point, the platform took off like a rocket. The thought of what these speeds would do to him if this were outside the Realm of Intellect crossed his mind, making him chuckle nervously. He knew he had to be moving close to six hundred miles per hour.
Now, let me tell you a bit about Jonathan's pet project, The Archive Infinitum. The Archive is a magical structure he'd designed shortly after the cataclysm that nearly wiped out the human race. An event most of you now refer to as the Night of Burning Skies. That same event is also what gave us the powers we now refer to as magic.
Shortly after obtaining his ascension, he learned that science's multiverse theories were close to how reality really worked. There are an infinite number of parallel universes, or branching timelines, that coexist simultaneously. What was different is that each universe shared a common six realm structure. The Physical Realm, the Realm of Intellect, the Dominion of Shadows, the Plane of Enlightenment, the Land of the Forgotten, and the Ether.
He built the Archive within the Realm of Intellect so it wouldn't be bound by the laws of physics or time as we know them. Once the structure was anchored in place, he could set most of those parameters himself. What he didn't realize was that making it here would have an unintended, though not unwelcome, side effect. The structure's size, shape, and architectural style could change by anyone who entered it.
When someone enters the Archive, it ascertains their strength of mind and will. Suppose the individual's mental fortitude is deemed stronger than that of the other occupants. In that case, the appearance will adjust to one that best serves and appeals to that individual. This could become unsettling for the occupants already inside the first few times it happened. That being said, it has no effect on the contents atop the shelves or where you're located within the structure. For Jonathan, it shared an uncanny resemblance to the George Peabody Library, though on a much grander scale.
The lift stopped after a brief ride, and Jonathan stepped off. He resumed his stride, passing row after row of the cherry wood bookcases. There were hundreds of rows and thousands of tomes and scrolls in each. As a scholar, he'd spent most of his existence here. But, even so, he knew there would always be something more to be gleaned from their pages.
Today was a day of remembrance. Of celebration. Of mourning. It was the anniversary of the end of a war that had lasted ten thousand years. With the death of one individual, a light of hope was given to many. For others, it was a bittersweet victory that left a void in their hearts. He'd come here today to revisit a passage that would return him to that fateful day. Reliving the event which granted them this peace, and once again, paying his respects to a dear friend.
"Ah, yes, yes, yes. Here we go."
The plaque on the side of the bookcase read, Row DD, Column 15. Now that he'd found the right one, he began scanning the shelves. It wasn't long before his hand landed on the tome he sought.
"Here it is." He pulled it down from the shelf. "My word. Has it truly been fifteen hundred years since I glanced through these pages?"
Looking at the cover, he chuckled. The combined magic of the Archive and the Realm had created a thin layer of dust. Giving it the feeling of something ancient and lost to time. Raising it to his lips, he blew the dust away, causing the magic to dissipate as it fell to the floor. He pulled open the cover and rifled through the pages. The section he stopped at contained the account of Rexinon the Prophet's final words.
Summoning his divine magics, he channeled a spell into the tome. The words that once filled the passages began to fade away, leaving only the blank pages, which now bled a blueish gray smoke. The soft glow of the lights against the floor diminished as the smoke spread. As the darkness grew more substantial, luminescent spheres and arcs of brilliant blues and crimson could be seen dancing about its surface like lightning.
The ground trembled beneath his feet, and the smokey haze took on a more stormlike appearance. All around him, the air started to feel heavy, and the taste of dust and sea salt filled his mouth. A gentle rain began to fall, and the room's remaining lights winked out. If not for the increasing flashes of lightning, he would've been left in total darkness. But even this was not a comfort, as those flashes cast shadows against the storm's ever swirling walls. Many of which appeared to be dark things that should never be seen in the light.
The storm's intensity grew, bringing disorienting cracks of thunder and wind whipping around him. It assaulted his senses and seemed to have an almost vengeful purpose. That meant he had to constantly focus on the spell, bracing himself against the onslaught. If he failed, it would kill him without question.
Some of the shadows began to take on a physical form with details beyond what the walls could offer them. He watched as an hourglass tumbled end over end, circling him before it returned to the storm. A moment later, a blazing fireplace and mantle emerged but produced neither light nor heat. Finally, a door engraved with the crest of the Order appeared. These images were ones he'd expected to see for this particular passage, and so came as no surprise. However, when a fourth image appeared, he was caught off guard.
Although it was normal for three images to accompany this spell, an occasional fourth spoke of prophecy. He focused intently on this final image. It showed twelve people standing in a circle; one of them was coated in blood. Two others were bound by chains. One a man, the other a woman.
He looked closer at the man and realized it was Godric. His eyes opened wide as he tried to decipher the meaning behind the image. Only a few moments passed while he speculated, but it was a few moments too many. Disaster struck, and too late, he realized his mistake. He'd lost focus, and now the storm would surely take him.
Hurricane force winds and debris tore at his clothes, quickly turning them into rags. One powerful gust slammed into his side as if he'd been struck by a car, knocking him off his feet. The storm swelled with even greater ferocity. It threatened to consume him this time, and he wondered if it would finally cost him.
Rain and hail pelted his face and body, while dust and sand stung his eyes. As he wiped away the grit, a bolt of lightning struck before him, temporarily blinding him. He got to his hands and knees, gasping for breath as the storm continued to beat him relentlessly.
Steeling himself against the pain, he rose to his feet. As fast as he could manage, he began casting mental defenses and barriers to protect his mind from the horrific assault. He bellowed in defiance of the storm, "I will not let it end this way! I refuse!" One defense after another was laid upon his person, until finally, he succeeded. The winds died to a breeze as the rain became little more than a summer misting.
He heard the sound of a quill scratching against paper over the storm's remnants, and the air behind his back grew hot as a crackling fire joined the room's ambiance. The sickly sweet smell of incense filled his nostrils, reminding him of days spent in his master's study. Another fond memory.
The storm wall vanished as the tremors subsided, making the room visible through a misty haze. The light of the fireplace cast his shadow across the now rough cut gray stone floor. Half a dozen tapestries hung around the room, and a liquor cabinet stood at the room's far corner. The main entry door remained closed to his left, and the doorway to the study's balcony lay to his right. At the room's center sat Rexinon at his desk, writing furiously on a piece of parchment.
Wiping the sweat from his brow, he breathed a sigh of relief. Although he'd done this countless times, the journey into the pages of history was always filled with peril. But, blessedly, the most intense part of the spell was complete. And while he could now relax in that fact, that fourth image still concerned him.
He stood in the familiar square room, clothing restored to its original state. The evening's air flowed through the open windows, making the ambient temperature quite cozy. Crossing the room, he paused at the desk and listened as Rexinon started muttering. "What I wouldn't give for a typewriter, much less a computer. Would make this so much faster."
Jonathan couldn't help but crack a smile. "Oh, but how many times have I thought the same thing, old friend?" He remarked, though he knew Rexinon couldn't hear him.
He stepped up to the desk and leaned over it. Looking down at the paper Rexinon was writing on, he frowned. Like so many times before, it appeared as little more than black scribbles on a page. Those words had to be important, but there was no way to know.
This was one of the spell's critical weaknesses. The details within the vision were only as precise as what was written in the tome. Most of the books in the Archive were magically transcribed. The benefits of this were completed histories free of victor and writer biases. Although, it wasn't flawless.
Throughout history, there have been individuals or events that the spell couldn't see. The most well known examples of these blips in time were the United States presidency of Franklin D. Roosevelt from 1933 to 1945 and the United Kingdom's Prime Minister, Michael Durham, from 2063 to 2065. All that is known about them was their lives before office and the accounts written by those around them. These gaps in history were generally the result of one of two things. In these two cases, a place or individual with a strong connection to the Dominion of Shadows.
Sighing, he pushed off the desk and crossed the room to the liquor cabinet. He opened the glass doors, pulling several bottles and a glass from the shelves. He made a drink consisting of three parts Red Adders Bite and one part Dry Amorian Blood Wine, then added a lime wedge to the rim of the glass. The others wouldn't arrive for another half hour, leaving him time to kill.
He walked around the room with his drink in hand and studied the various tapestries, several of which he'd been a part of. Each one depicted an accomplishment or tragedy facilitated by the Order. All save one, which showed a scene from the event that started it all.
The one to the left of the cabinet showed the Order's founding. In the background stood a grand tower of black and white marble. Its four sides were engraved with the Mark of Hellyrr, which glowed with a magical light. In front of it stood a man facing a gathered crowd, his arms swept wide in triumph. They looked up at him and the structure with reverence and awe.
He continued to move in a counterclockwise manner around the room. Above the main entry door hung another tapestry. One he was even depicted in. It showed the aftermath of a massacre. Six figures stood amidst the bodies of hundreds. The earth around them was scorched by flame, and the blood of the fallen had stained it red. The cloud covered sky glowed a deep crimson with gold outlines from the fires below. It had come to be known as the Cleansing of Elysian, in which the entirety of the planet's second continent had been annihilated to preserve the world.
"I wish it had never come to this. Why can't we all just get along? Instead of thriving in the prosperity of our two lands, they plotted and began planning to bring war to our own people. To rape, pillage, and enslave them. Even with all my vast knowledge and wisdom, I can't understand why they felt the need to dominate and control the world." He looked back up at the tapestry. "Even now, most of the land is still uninhabitable."
He turned around and looked at the tapestry above the balcony door. This one would appear out of place with the others to all but a few handfuls of people. Even for those who learned the truth behind it, it looked like little more than an artist's vision of what a beautiful landscape at sunset should look like. The sky is dotted with hundreds of stars as shades of red, orange, and yellow dance across the land's horizon. The artist's point of view appears to be looking down from a hillside. Down the hill's slope, you can see a pond teaming with wildlife along its edge. The remaining landscape is filled with miles of forest stretching toward the horizon.
For the few who survived this event and still remained, they knew it depicted the final moments of their world before all of humanity was nearly lost.
Jonathan fixated on this tapestry more than he had on the others. The longer he stared, the more distant his expression grew. Over time, his breathing quickened, and his grip on the glass slipped. It shattered as it hit the floor, causing the rug to stain from the liquid. The sound jerked him out of the trance like state, making him feel ill.
He could still recall the memory of that long ago day like it were yesterday. The thought of how close humanity had come to extinction made his legs weak, and he stumbled back against the wall behind him. He slid down the stones' cool surface and noticed his hands were now trembling. Through shuddering breaths, he uttered the words of a broken man. "So much death. So many lives were lost that day. So many. Oh, Sonia. Even after all this time, I still miss you."
The main entry door slammed open, crashing against the wall with a loud bang. Jonathan jerked as one of them collided mere inches from where he sat. The startling sound had been enough to pull him from his stupor, but it still took a moment for him to gather himself. A man in the doorway lowered his foot from where he'd obviously kicked the unlocked door in.
"Knock, knock, Rex. Seems you've done it now."
"Seth. I'll never understand the animosity you held for Rexinon," Jonathan said wearily as he got to his feet.
Seth stood just shy of five foot eight inches and had slick black hair that he kept combed back. He wore black jeans and a beige dress shirt with mother of pearl buttons, which had seen far too much polish in recent days. A malevolent grin displayed his perfect teeth and careless eyes. He strode into the room, dragging a chair behind him, and placed it on the rug by the fireplace.
"Was kicking the door in really necessary, Seth?"
A second man stepped into the room, obviously annoyed by the unnecessary use of force. He wore a navy blue business suit and towered over everyone else in the room, and that was saying something considering Jonathan was six foot. As he still held to the standards of a marine, he kept his hair high and tight and his face clean shaven. He stood at the rug's edge out of respect for the Order so as not to mar the embroidered Mark of Hellyrr. A respect Seth clearly lacked.
"Godric Gibbs. This day changed you. Hell, it changed all of us, but few as much as you," Jonathan said. He looked back at the door as the third and final man entered. "Assassin."
This man was of a height with Jonathan and wore all black from head to toe. His outfit looked like something out of a TV show. Almost like a cross between Gi Joe's Snake Eyes, and CW Arrow's League of Assassins. After ten thousand years, all they knew about him was his previous occupation as a contract killer. It wasn't long before they'd taken to calling him Assassin, as they had no other name to go by. Any time he was asked a question regarding his past, he either remained silent or dodged it outright. He took a position to Godric's left and, like Godric, took care of where he stood on the rug.
The three men stood in silence and watched as Rexinon continued to write. Godric and Assassin seemed content to wait until he addressed them. On the other hand, Seth seemed to grow more agitated as the minutes passed. Jonathan chuckled in spite of himself.
About twenty minutes later, Rexinon spoke, "Reverend Seth Jones, Colonel Godric Gibbs, and Assassin. To what do I owe the pleasure?" His tone plainly indicated that he already knew.
Seth spoke first. "Oh, cut the crap, Rex. You already know why we're here. This cult thing of yours has gone on long enough."
"Well, there's the pot calling the kettle black," Jonathan muttered sarcastically.
Godric rolled his eyes. Everyone in the room knew about Seth's past as a cult leader. They also knew his anger was more at being forced to wait in silence than anything to do with Rexinon or the Order.
"Calm yourself, Seth. There's no need for such hostilities." Godric looked at Rexinon apologetically. "I'm sorry to have to do this, old friend, but my hands are tied. Rexinon the Prophet, Headmaster of the Hellyrrian Order, you've been charged with conspiracy to overthrow the governments of Aurelia and seize control for the Order.
"As we speak, the leaders of the Hellyrrian Order are being gathered for execution. Furthermore, your towers and all their artifacts will be destroyed, and any remnants of the Order's existence is to be wiped from the face of history. As of 0813 this morning, you have been sentenced to death. How do you plead?"
Rexinon continued to write at an incredible rate. He knew why they'd come. He'd known this was coming for months. After all, his gift was the gift of prophecy. The evidence for the charges against him was both substantial and ethereal, depending on what light was shown on it.
Two centuries ago, the Order had tracked the activities of an unknown number of individuals who'd been subtly manipulating several of the Aurelian governing bodies. They'd spread like a poison, corrupting them and turning once prosperous kingdoms which knew few hardships, into lands where the people had to fight just to survive. The problem was that whoever that force had been, always seemed to be just one step ahead of them. Now, not only was it check, but checkmate. The Order had lost.
"I believe the Righteous Twelve to be ill advised. I believe you've been manipulated by the same corrupted governing body which we've spent so long trying to purify—." Seth grunted. "—But," he said at length, "I accept all charges against me, save one. Neither myself nor anyone else of the Order has ever sought to rule Aurelia, as the charges would imply. The Cleansing of Elysian should've been proof enough to show that to be true."
Rexinon penned the final words of his letter and placed the pen back in its stand. Pulling the top off a jar, he dusted the page with a thin layer of sand to soak up any excess ink. After dumping the sand back into another jar to be cleaned, he pushed away from his desk and stood to look at his guests for the first time. After nudging his stool back under, he addressed Godric directly.
"Will you join me on the balcony one last time?"
Godric nodded his head and gestured towards the balcony doorway. As they stepped outside, Jonathan followed.
Rexinon leaned against the railing and looked out over the city, his gaze fixed on the setting sun. Godric joined him and looked down to the tower's base, some five hundred feet below. Although he was not afraid of heights, it gave him respect for the sturdily mounted railing at the balcony's edge.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Rexinon said. Godric looked at him, confused. "The way the world has turned out since that day? Ten thousand years of watching as civilization was rebuilt and destroyed time and time again by a senseless war. Watching them evolve into something more as they learned how to use these gifts we were given. In some ways, we're greater than we ever were. In other ways, we're inferior. If I have any regrets, it's that I couldn't do more to leave the people better prepared for this new age."
"Well spoken. If it's any consolation, I believe this is wrong. I even spoke out against the council for a different outcome. For my efforts, though, I was threatened with execution if I didn't cease my objections."
Rexinon's tone grew heated after hearing of the council's reaction. "You should know better than anyone why I fought so hard against them, then. I'm not against governance. I'm against corrupt governance. We had far too many corrupt politicians and warlords in our own time for me to ever want to allow it again."
Godric nodded his head. "Yes. The problem is you played too heavy a hand too quickly. Instead of accepting that they'd been beaten, they cheated by playing with an ace they had hidden up their collective sleeves."
Rexinon sighed, knowing his words were true. "Indeed. I've accepted my fate. I won't run. Won't even make it difficult for y'all. I have no need to. I would like to make one final request to ease your conscience, though."
Rexinon leaned toward Godric conspiratorially. As he did this, the world around them began to shimmer and distort. Almost like the motion blurring you'd see on a TV. Likewise, their conversation was masked by the sound of white noise and the sound of hushed incoherent whispers.
This was the second hurdle the scrying spells had to deal with. Individuals with divine magic could conceal their conversations or even the events they were a part of. Rexinon had concealed this conversation, and to this day, Godric has never spoken of what was said.
Jonathan returned to the study with a resigned sigh. There was nothing more he could learn from their conversation. Assassin stood in the same spot he'd been when he first entered the room and looked as if he hadn't so much as twitched. Seth, however, was rummaging through the desk's drawers. He'd tried to figure out what he was looking for in the past, but nothing seemed obvious.
The shards of glass from when he'd dropped his cup earlier had vanished, along with the stain on the rug from the liquor. As expected, the glass had returned to the cabinet, and the bottles had refilled to where they were before he'd arrived. This was yet another reminder that this was a magically induced vision of an event that had long since passed. It could be too easy to forget that this wasn't real and that if he spent too much time here, it would have consequences in the real world for him.
He knew they'd be out there a while. In previous visits, he'd occasionally spent this time combing through the room, similar to what Seth was doing. Having cataloged everything centuries ago, there was nothing left to do but wait. So, he walked around the desk and sat squarely within the Mark of Hellyrr embroidered on the rug. There, for the next hour or so, he would remain, arms folded, legs crossed, and eyes shut. Freeing his mind of all unnecessary thoughts and emotions. At least, that was the plan.
About forty minutes in, Seth started to grumble and complain, forcing Jonathan to give up on his meditation. "… I know he's one of the humblest among our kind, but lord, does he have to be so dull? I can't find anything interesting anywhere. Even his liquor cabinet is dull." Seth walked from behind the desk to the liquor cabinet, pulled a few bottles out at random, and read the labels aloud. "Red Adders Bite, Amorian Blood Wine. Christ, he's even got Athester's Sweet Malt. This crap might as well be water." He pulled another bottle down and said, "At least he's got the taste to have at least one bottle of Nordic Berserker."
"Some of us prefer the simpler things in life. You might find life more enjoyable when you aren't always looking for the rare and exotic," Assassin said with a disinterested, almost dismissive tone.
Seth clicked his tongue. "Hell, even this letter he was so focused on when we arrived makes no sense." Seth thrust the letter towards Assassin, who took it nonchalantly. "Look at this."
Jonathan studied Assassin intently, hoping for any sign that would reveal the letter's contents. It was no use, though; for all the emotion he showed, Jonathan would've thought it no more important than a grocery list. But, if that were the case, why obscure it from the eyes of the scrying spell? The frustration caused by such a simple sheet of paper was baffling.
Jonathan got to his feet as Rexinon and Godric returned. As Rexinon walked to stand at the center of the rug, Jonathan moved behind the desk. Godric walked toward Assassin and conversed with him for a few minutes. Once again, the sound of white noise shrouded what was said. This time, it was Godric who masked his words from the spell. When Assassin nodded, Godric moved beside him and faced Rexinon.
Rexinon looked at each tapestry and seemed to relive each as he did so. They all knew those accomplishments and tragedies would stand the test of time. Any efforts to change that would fall flat. The Order had played too significant a role in shaping this new world. Finally, he turned to Godric, kneeling as he met his regret filled eyes.
Assassin pulled an infamous rod from his side, dubbed the Executioner's Handle. Forged in the Dominion of Shadow by Assassin some three thousand years ago. It was one and a half feet long of shadow infused steel and bound with his own divine essence. Ominous black tendrils crawled along Assassin's hand like something alive and flowed into the handle. The shaft elongated, and an axe head formed at its end.
Though he had accepted his fate, seeing that axe form made Rexinon's heart stop momentarily. He looked at Godric questioningly. Godric knew what that look meant and nodded his head in assent. Agreeing to this had allowed them both to right several wrongs this night by asking one simple question. "Do you have any final words or requests?"
"I have two, if you'll grant them. The first, allow me to disband the Order formally as my final act as headmaster."
Seth started to protest, but Assassin lowered the axehead in his direction as a silent threat. Seth glared at Assassin with seething hatred. Godric nodded to Rexinon. "Proceed."
As the headmaster of the Hellyrrian Order, he had a mental connection with every member. Without hesitation, Rexinon's eyes began to glow with a brilliant purple hue. This would be Rexinon's final order, and Godric knew it would save thousands.
"My brothers and sisters, hear me now and heed my words. Abandon the Order and save yourselves. Flee to the hills and never look back to what we once were. With my dying breath, the Hellyrrian Order is no more. The governments of Aurelia have played a hand we can't stand against. Anyone who disregards this command will be hunted down and executed without mercy. To the leaders and guild masters of the Order, I charge you with dismantling everything relating to the Order and turning over every artifact and document you can to Godric the Just, Jonathan the Wise, or Assassin the Watcher. I also ask that you help calm those who feel outraged and betrayed by this night. Do not blame the Twelve, as they were little more than pawns in this corrupt game of politics. Farewell, my friends. My family. May the peace we have fought for be found in the coming days."
The glow faded, and he slumped forward onto his hands, his breathing labored. A few moments passed, and he managed to catch his breath but still looked towards the ground.
"The second request I have is that anyone who would heed that warning be spared. The ruling factions wanted me. As long as no one else causes trouble, we know they won't cause too much fuss over it."
His voice took on a much sharper edge as he looked back up. "You call us a cult, though you know we are nothing of the sort. On the contrary, our Order has stood for nearly five thousand years for the betterment of the entire world. How they treated you should tell you that what I said and what we were doing was justified."
"Shut your mouth, Rex!" Seth spat venomously.
Godric glared at Seth. His own anger with this situation was at the point of breaking free. "Be silent! I don't know what kind of grudge you have, but I, for one, don't give a damn what the council said. Rexinon doesn't deserve death for the crimes he's being accused of. Unfortunately, the ruling factions in almost every nation are corrupted and working towards being as corrupt as they were back in our day." Godric sighed. "Regrettably, my hands are tied, though. The law is the law, and I have been overruled on this matter. Regardless of what my conscience thinks, I will abide by the rules of the land."
Rexinon nodded, understanding Godric's situation perfectly. Godric had become the divine embodiment of law and justice at his ascension. While those two things work hand in hand, they are far from the same, and one must often walk a fine line to serve them both. In this case, the choices were clear. In the end, it didn't matter what he chose; he would inevitably betray one virtue or the other. Unfortunately, there was no good way for him to handle this, and Rexinon could see how this was affecting him.
"The majority of the Order will heed my warning. As for the leaders, if any are still alive, they will follow that command to the letter. They'll even aid you in handling any hotheads who resist," Rexinon said.
"The good news is that no one has yet been executed this evening. I'll personally see to it that those who abide by that order are given a chance to live long, productive lives within society. If all goes well, you will be the only casualty of this idiocy."
Rexinon gave the faintest sign of a smile with a halfhearted chuckle as he said, "Godric, one thing I'll not allow is any of the Order's work ending up in the hands of one of those tyrants. Therefore, I demand that Jonathan be given every document, scroll, and tome held within our strongholds for safekeeping." Rexinon felt exhausted. The spell to warn his Order took more out of him than anticipated.
"You're in no position to be making demands of us," Seth said. Godric finally snapped and struck him so hard that he slammed back into the wall beside the fireplace, cracking it. He got back to his feet a moment later, fixed his shirt, and looked down at the blood he'd wiped from his lip. Godric looked back at Rexinon.
"As you were saying."
"Assassin, I'd ask that you secure all our relics and artifacts, regardless of their magical significance. I don't need to tell you what all we have housed around Aurelia."
"No, you don't. The nukes of our time were nothing compared to some of those items," Assassin replied.
"We'll see to it that it's done. There are things within these walls that were never meant for untrained mortal hands," Godric added.
"Thank you."
"As for the texts, Jonathan will have a field day going through everything. There is far too much the council doesn't understand within these walls that we can't afford to lose."
"Godric was right, Rex. I still have everything. Much of which has been quite useful over the centuries,"
Godric turned his head away, no longer able to look Rexinon in the eye. "I no longer deserve the right to call you a friend, but is there anything else you would ask of me?"
Rexinon looked at Godric for a long time and couldn't help but smile. Not at his pain or suffering in following the orders given to him, but knowing that if anyone here had ever been a friend to him, Godric certainly was. With his final words, he left Godric with a warning.
"No, but I'll leave you with this. Be wary of those among you, for one will betray you all. My friend."
Godric nodded, accepting these as Rexinon's final words as a tear ran down his cheek. Rexinon lowered his head, and Assassin enveloped his axe's blade in a purple aura.
"Woah, Assassin, what's with the new color? Never seen that before," Seth asked.
Ignoring the question, Assassin swung the axe, severing Rexinon's head cleanly.
That night, the cries of the Order were heard in every city across Aurelia. All mourning the death of the Order's first, and last, headmaster.
Jonathan fought back tears of his own as he watched the axe's head vanish. Assassin secured the handle on his belt as he walked towards the desk. Godric looked as though he was going to be sick.
"Did you do as I asked?" Godric asked shakily.
"Of course. I may be a trained killer, but even I know this was bullshit, mate."
Seth walked over and picked up Rexinon's severed head by the hair. He held it up before him, a mischievous grin on his face. Then he whispered something into Rexinon's ear.
Assassin's eyes locked on Seth. As he let go of the head, he used one of his abilities, known as shadow step, to cross the distance to where Seth stood. Before Rexinon's head hit the ground, Assassin snatched it out of the air and punched Seth so hard that it sent him flying into the same section of the wall he'd hit earlier. He bounced off it, but the force of the impact sent several of the stones flying into the next room. Seth crumpled to the floor, where he lay unmoving for several seconds. After a while, his head snapped upright, and he began to laugh. He stood up as if nothing had happened and headed out the door. Godric, now seething with anger, watched as Assassin started to go after him. "Leave him. He's not worth your time."
Jonathan paced around the room, waiting for the spell to wear off. His heart ached, and his own anger toward Seth at that moment made him wish he could destroy the man. But that was Seth's way, and they'd all learned to let it go in time. The world began to blur and vanish, reverting to the Archive once again.
He closed the cover, placing the tome back on the shelf with a heavy sigh. His fingers lingered on the binding as he read the inscription, A Complete History of the Hellyrrian Order, Volume 666. Finally, Jonathan let his hand fall to the side as he walked away with his shoulders slumped.
As if speaking to an old friend, he lamented, "Damn you, Rex. Why couldn't you have just left well enough alone?"
As Jonathan walked away, he shed a tear at the loss of one of his closest friends.
2023.06.09 14:45 girl_from_the_crypt Stuck on earth and looking for a job: Fog dimension
So I guess newsreaders can hide their emotions really well on TV. I’ve never seen Mary Markov in any state of heightened temper. The time she came down to help after I’d burned down the FunFlair building with Frankie was definitely a first in that regard. Then again, I’d never committed arson before either, so there were a lot of firsts that night. It’s been two days, but I can still see her angry face before me when I close my eyes. It frightened me a little.
After the fire had been doused by her staff, she gave Fran and me a look unlike anything I’d ever seen before. There was a homicidal rage in her eyes, her mouth had turned into a thin, steely line and the vein on her forehead threatened to pop. To my surprise (and admittedly relief), she turned the entirety of that wrath against Frankie Preston. “What in the world were you thinking?” she thundered, looming dangerously over the shorter man. “You committed a goddamn crime! If you were a normal person, I’d have to get you behind bars now!”
“Wait, I’m the privileged one here?” he snapped. “That woman tortured me! She brought me into this world by fault and proceeded to make me wish I’d never been born! And there was nothing I could ever do about it, because, oh, that’s right, I’m not a normal person! As you so endearingly put it. No one has a fucking clue what I am, so it’s okay for me to suffer, isn’t it?”
Mary opened her mouth to respond, but only ended up shutting it again. Then she focused her scrutiny onto me. “I thought you’d have known better.”
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but I knew what I was getting myself into. This was a contemplated decision.”
“Was it ever.”
I motioned for her to step aside with me, bringing a bit of distance between ourselves and my waiter. “I’ll make it up to you,” I began. “I will, but please, please drop this.”
“Did he force you to come?”
“You don’t actually believe he could force me into anything, do you?”
Mary Markov sighed. “I guess not. Look, it’s not like I don’t understand his grudge. And from what I know of Ms Wallis, she won’t be missed by many. I just wish it didn’t have to come to this. This means a ton of work for me.”
“It means so much more to him.”
Another sorrowful moan. Then, “Alright. I have your back. But don’t, um… encourage this kind of behavior in him, please.”
“I won’t,” I promised. “What are you going to do about the other doll?”
“She’s in bad shape—”
“Trash shape,” Fran chimed in from behind, having inconspicuously strayed closer.
“She’s in bad shape,” Mary repeated, pointedly ignoring him, “and currently unresponsive, but since you said she’s shown signs of sentience, I guess we’ll have to look into her. It prompts a very interesting question, after all.”
“Being?” I offered.
“Think about it. I don’t know if you’re familiar with the other two living dolls, Zion Boyd and Bunny Martell, but they came alive after Frank tinkered with them. And now there’s this one. Maybe your little boyfriend has some kind of yet to be explored ability, seeing as he was the first to gain awareness.” She fell silent for a pregnant pause, glancing between the two of us. “Something to ponder on your drive home. Which you will be starting now.” She made a shooing motion with both her hands.
The message being quite clear, Frankie and I got back into his car. The ride was quiet at first, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable stillness. It felt like a weight I didn’t know I’d been carrying had been lifted. I stared at the server’s profile, alternately framed by nightly darkness and moonlight, drinking in every little detail about it. It was hard to believe that someone as cruel as Philomena Wallis had created something this breathtaking.
“So you’ll probably wanna talk about all of this, huh. About what I am, I mean.” Frankie’s voice was light and relaxed with only a hint of uncertainty gnawing at it.
“What’s there to talk about?”
“Aren’t you surprised? A little… disgusted, maybe?”
“I always knew you weren’t human. Beyond that, it doesn’t really matter to me what you are.” I shrugged. “I mean, I’d be fine if you were human, too. I’d be fine if you were a squonk.”
“What’s a squonk?”
“I don’t know, I just made that up. Anyways, did you actually think I would be grossed out? Did you?”
He smiled. “I guess not. This’ll sound crazy, and it’s hard to explain, but it’s like I got a voice in the back of my head constantly telling me that… that I should wash myself again or that I ought not to touch you. I suppose it’s not really a voice; it’s only these thoughts that kind of keep pushing into my mind even though I should know better. And I do know better. But that doesn’t stop the thoughts.”
I nodded slowly. “I think I understand. I can’t tell you how much I disagree with that voice, though. You’re the cleanest person I’ve ever met and if I could, I’d live in your hair like a cootie."
"That's how close you want me?"
"Yup.”
He let out a soft laugh. “I’m really, really glad you came with me. If there’s ever anything you need, I’ll do it. No matter what. If you want to bury a body, I’ll dig the hole.” He paused. “Actually, we should sell any corpses you might have. It’s wonderfully lucrative.”
I shot him a quick smile before turning to stare out the window with knitted brows. “What do you think about what Mary Markov said? About you being able to make the dolls come alive somehow.”
“I don’t know if there’s anything to it. I don’t remember doing anything special with them. Zion and Bunny were just standing around when I turned them on, and they came to within minutes. I figured they were sentient before, and it was simply repressed. I woke up randomly, too, after all.”
I hummed pensively. “I wouldn’t be so sure.”
“Well, if you’re implying it’s some kinda superpower, then that’s probably the most useless one ever.”
“We don’t have to talk about this now,” I told him, to which he gave me a grateful half-grin.
Per my request, he dropped me off at Nettie’s place. I kissed him goodbye on the crown of his head and told him we’d text the following day. He thanked me again and I watched him drive off before going up to ring the doorbell, mentally preparing an apology for showing up at five-thirty in the morning. My savior human was surprisingly quick to answer, giving me an indulgent wave as soon as I stumbled over my first “I’m sorry”.
“It’s fine,” she muttered. “I hadn’t gone to bed yet.”
I gave her an incredulous look and she sighed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Her normally soft, rounded cheeks were sunken, her eyes oddly dull. Judging from the angry red marks, she’d apparently been chewing on her lower lip with some force. It was only then that I took note of the sweater she was wearing. A faded, shaggy piece of fabric that clearly hadn’t been washed since Kit Sutton had given it to her on the cliff that day. I felt a sharp pang in my chest and pulled her into a hug as soon as I’d stepped inside with her.
She stifled a sob when she wrapped her arms around me in return. “It’s hit or miss with me when it comes to sleep lately,” she confessed in a brittle voice.
I swallowed. “I’m working on it. I’ll get her back for you, I have a lead. Is there anything I can do in the meantime?”
“Not really. I just gotta distract myself ‘til the morning comes, I’ll be fine then.”
“Then I’ll stay up with you.”
It was thus decided. We sat down in the living room for a while, then went out into the garden to watch the sunrise. My savior human had taken her place in her mother’s chair while I whipped up some chocolate chip pancakes (one of her favorites) for her for breakfast. I carried them out to her on a little plate with a cup of tea, and for a moment, her expression cleared up for a beam of happiness to shine through. “We should do something productive,” she remarked, and I gave her a questioning tilt of the head. “I’ve been thinking,” she went on. “Isn’t it weird how all these years, you didn’t hop dimensions once, and now all of a sudden it keeps happening?”
“Don’t worry about that right now.”
“I always worry, baby girl. It’s my natural state of being.”
“It shouldn’t be,” I insisted. “It feels wrong. You have your own problems, I don’t want to add to that.”
“Seriously, that’s not what’s happening here. This is just how I keep my mind off… things.”
I rolled my lips together. Blue-haired things, probably. “You deserve so much better. You deserve this to be way, way easier,” I stated.
“That’s a nice thought. But it doesn’t change anything right now. You can control your body, can’t you? Your teeth and tentacles?”
“Yes. It happens automatically when I get scared sometimes, but for the most part, I’m actively doing it.”
“Then how about if we could somehow start getting you on top of your dimension jumping, too? It would be a tad risky and I’m not sure how to go about it exactly, but it would be far better if you could toggle it. You’d be able to stop yourself from hopping when you don’t want to, but maybe you could venture into these other spaces for exploration purposes, too.” The words spilled out of her like a babbling little waterfall as she plucked apart one of her pancakes and stuffed them into her mouth. “Because there has to be more to this. I just have that feeling. So I reckon we try and find a way to work with this. What do you think?”
“Sure. I guess I’d be… open to that.”
“Really? I-I don’t want to pressure you…”
“No, no, it sounds fine! I wanna try!”
“Okay!” She set aside her plate, rubbing her hands in blatant excitement. “So it happens when your flight instinct kicks in, correct? How about we get you in that headspace on purpose?”
“How would we do that?” I asked cautiously.
When I was sitting cross-legged on the ground among my savior human’s countless flowers with my eyes closed and her hand in mine, that question had pretty much answered itself. Nettie Peterson was leading me in a “guided meditation” consisting of several intrusive queries about my first ever jump—the most terrifying moment of my entire life.
“The thing, that floating maw, what did it look like?” she began, referring to the creature that had ended it all.
I furrowed my brows. “It didn’t look like anything,” I replied meekly. “Mostly, it was just… really big and dark.”
“Dark? What color dark?”
“Black, I guess. It swallowed the light.” A pulsating pain began to flare up behind my forehead. “It was nothing. It was like a giant ball of nothing.”
“You told me once that it made a noise,” my best friend went on, her fingers grasping mine a little tighter. “Do you remember that sound?”
I winced. “Yes.”
“Describe it.”
“It was more like a vibration that went through everything,” I mumbled. “The ground was shaking. And then we all screamed.”
“Did you see inside its mouth?”
“No. There was nothing inside of its mouth. There was nothing inside of it. Just emptiness.” I shifted my weight. Images were flashing in front of my inner eye, filling the darkness behind my closed lids. My breath had caught in my throat and it felt like ants were crawling beneath my skin. “And then all of us were suddenly… nothing, everything was gone and at that last moment, everyone was so terrified. They all knew it was over. All of them.”
At first, I thought Nettie Peterson’s hand was trembling. Then I realized it was my own, shaking hers through the contact. For a moment, my body felt feather-light, but not in a relaxing or comfortable way. It was as though I was afloat, out of control and weightless. I didn’t like it. “Can we stop?” I choked out.
“Of course,” my best friend replied, gently squeezing my fingers.
I let go of a deep breath, blinking my eyes open. Across from me, Nettie was giving me a soft but deeply apologetic smile. “Did I push you too far?”
“It’s not your fault. I think I simply wasn’t ready for this.”
“I understand. Let’s go inside and make some more of those—” She stopped mid-sentence. She’d been pointing her chin at the plate of pancakes resting on her chair, only to see that it had changed.
The food I had just served her half an hour ago had turned into a moldy, rotten mess. A couple flies were circling it, emitting a low, almost melodic buzz. My savior human and I traded wide-eyed glances, disbelief, fear and excitement mirrored in our eyes. We then got up to take in our surroundings. The flowers surrounding us weren’t the same anymore. They were either withered or deathly pale; formerly pink, yellow and red petals had become either light gray or iridescently white. Thick, soupy fog was hanging over everything, it was denser and heavier than any we’d ever had in town before. The mist seemed to have consumed all the noise and color in the world, leaving only cold, oppressive silence.
Nettie was the first to regain speech. “It worked! Oh my Lord, it actually worked.”
I clasped her arm and she immediately fell silent. Wordlessly, I pointed at the rolling fog on the other side of the garden fence. There was something moving within. An enormous, caterpillar-like shape soundlessly dragged itself through the air, its long body slowly moving along across the street. My savior human’s jaw had dropped, her mouth wide open as she followed my gaze. Neither of us moved a muscle as we waited for the creature to pass by. Thankfully, it didn’t seem to take note of us at all. I didn’t want to imagine what could happen if one were to draw its attention.
“This is… I don’t believe this,” Nettie breathed, running a hand over her mussed coils. “You did it. We’re not home anymore.”
“What do you propose to do now?”
“Keep our heads low and try to find out anything useful, I’d say.”
I nodded and she folded her hand into the crook of my arm. Together, we proceeded through the open door back into the house. Wammawink and Nettie’s old convertible were standing in their garage, a pool of motor fluid surrounding each vehicle. The paint was peeling from the car doors, matching the way the pictures and photographs around her house had faded.
The food in her kitchen had morphed into a self-contained ecosystem. Bugs were crawling up and down the walls and ghostly white mice scuttled across the floor with shocking brazenness. There was no trace of human life anywhere in sight. We stepped out the front door and into the street only for Nettie to grab me and fling me to the ground next to her. We flattened ourselves against the curb as another one of the gigantic caterpillar-figures snaked its way along just a couple feet above our heads. I craned my neck to give my best friend a sidelong glance out of terrified, saucer-sized eyes. I could see my reflection in hers as she pressed a finger to her lips. I gave her a tiny nod.
Finally, it was gone again and we helped each other to our feet. Nettie brushed down her sweater with great care before tilting her head at me as though asking if I was alright. I gave a reassuring, albeit wavering smile which she returned with a slight strain to her brow. We linked arms again and started walking down the street. The whole dimension seemed to be a mirror image of our hometown, only deader. Aside from the flies and vermin, there seemed to be very little life. All of the houses we were so familiar with looked decrepit, old and empty. Walls were crumbling down, roofs looked to be seconds away from caving in and most windows were shattered. It was impossible to see ahead through the mist, but we managed to hide from the flying worm-things everytime they came up.
We were starting to become a little frustrated seeing as our exploration yielded nothing of note. There was hardly anything to be seen safe from the depressing alternate version of our neighborhood. On top of that, the clammy chill that hung in the air along with the fog was making us increasingly uncomfortable. Finally, we decided we should try and get back home. We returned to Nettie’s garden where we crouched down once again, hand in hand. Before my savior human could begin her questioning though, the ground beneath us suddenly began to shudder, heaving as if moved by some kind of subterranean pulse.
Nettie Peterson and I snapped our eyes open at the exact same time, mouths agape in bewilderment. And then we saw it. It was in the sky, partially veiled by the thick fog yet impossible to overlook. It became darker and darker as it neared, its indescribably large form seemed to envelop the entirety of the heavens. It had been five years since I had last seen it, but I recognized it immediately. Not that it had any features I could have recognized. I remembered though, and in that moment, it all came flooding back to me. The breeders that threw themselves in front of their young, the cries that echoed across the plains together with the stones and soil sent rolling by the earthquake. I caught my best friend’s gaze, read the terror in it and knew that it was just as immense as my own. Her lips were parted in an ear-piercing scream that ended up being drowned out by the hovering roar of the Devourer Of Worlds.
I squeezed her hand so tightly I feared I’d snap her fingers. And suddenly, before I knew it, all was silent again. The air was warmer, filled with the fragrances of countless different flowers. The early morning sun was shining down on us, and it felt like it was heating up my very core. We were back. In the blink of an eye, Nettie had thrown her arms around me, pulling me close to her chest.
“Baby girl,” she whispered.
“That was it,” I rasped out. “That was it.”
“I know.” Withdrawing just an inch, she wiped a thumb over my eye, careful not to scrape me with her nail. It was only then that I realized I was crying. Tears were streaming down my cheeks, noiseless and hot, dripping from my chin and wetting my chest.
"You're not hurt, are you? Look, it's going to be alright. You just take it easy now. We'll go inside, have some tea or coffee or whatever and calm down, a-and then we can figure this all out. Come on. Get up. Easy, easy now." She hugged me even as she pulled me to my feet and into the house alongside her. "So tea. How about strawberry? Or Turkish apple? Or classic chamomile? Something for the nerves, at any rate."
"Wait," I stammered, interrupting her monologue. "What about you? Are you okay?"
"Oh, no. No, no, no, far from it. I'll sign us both up for therapy once I find the time, but for now, tea! Tea."
"Nettie, please don't strain yourse—"
"Listen here, I'm gonna make you some goddamn tea and we'll sit down with it and it's gonna be warm and nice and we'll forget all about this. I'm here. I can take care of you. You do not need to be scared." She pressed her face close up to mine, her voice sharp and a mite threatening.
"I'm sort of scared of you right now."
"Oh." She drew back. "Pardon. I'll put on the tea." A forced, crooked tune tumbled from her lips as she went ahead into the kitchen.
We've both simmered down a little since the incident. It's been two days now. I used most of that time to unwind and recover from what had to be the single most eventful night of my time here on earth. Keep in mind, this happened the morning after the fire. The calm is not going to last much longer, though. I don't mind that, I just need to brace myself.
Rhonda's been in touch.
X
1
2: deadbeat roommate
3: creepy crush
4: relocation
5: beach concert
6: First date
7: Temp work
8: roommate talk
9: a dismal worldview
10: warehouse
11: staircase
12: explanation
13: hurt
14: hospital
15: ocean
16: diner
17: government work
18: something in the caves
19: shopping cart
20: olms and Jewels
21: long hair
22: recruitment
23: waitresses
24: dollhouse
25: burning plastic
submitted by girl_from_the_crypt to nosleep [link] [comments]
After the fire had been doused by her staff, she gave Fran and me a look unlike anything I’d ever seen before. There was a homicidal rage in her eyes, her mouth had turned into a thin, steely line and the vein on her forehead threatened to pop. To my surprise (and admittedly relief), she turned the entirety of that wrath against Frankie Preston. “What in the world were you thinking?” she thundered, looming dangerously over the shorter man. “You committed a goddamn crime! If you were a normal person, I’d have to get you behind bars now!”
“Wait, I’m the privileged one here?” he snapped. “That woman tortured me! She brought me into this world by fault and proceeded to make me wish I’d never been born! And there was nothing I could ever do about it, because, oh, that’s right, I’m not a normal person! As you so endearingly put it. No one has a fucking clue what I am, so it’s okay for me to suffer, isn’t it?”
Mary opened her mouth to respond, but only ended up shutting it again. Then she focused her scrutiny onto me. “I thought you’d have known better.”
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but I knew what I was getting myself into. This was a contemplated decision.”
“Was it ever.”
I motioned for her to step aside with me, bringing a bit of distance between ourselves and my waiter. “I’ll make it up to you,” I began. “I will, but please, please drop this.”
“Did he force you to come?”
“You don’t actually believe he could force me into anything, do you?”
Mary Markov sighed. “I guess not. Look, it’s not like I don’t understand his grudge. And from what I know of Ms Wallis, she won’t be missed by many. I just wish it didn’t have to come to this. This means a ton of work for me.”
“It means so much more to him.”
Another sorrowful moan. Then, “Alright. I have your back. But don’t, um… encourage this kind of behavior in him, please.”
“I won’t,” I promised. “What are you going to do about the other doll?”
“She’s in bad shape—”
“Trash shape,” Fran chimed in from behind, having inconspicuously strayed closer.
“She’s in bad shape,” Mary repeated, pointedly ignoring him, “and currently unresponsive, but since you said she’s shown signs of sentience, I guess we’ll have to look into her. It prompts a very interesting question, after all.”
“Being?” I offered.
“Think about it. I don’t know if you’re familiar with the other two living dolls, Zion Boyd and Bunny Martell, but they came alive after Frank tinkered with them. And now there’s this one. Maybe your little boyfriend has some kind of yet to be explored ability, seeing as he was the first to gain awareness.” She fell silent for a pregnant pause, glancing between the two of us. “Something to ponder on your drive home. Which you will be starting now.” She made a shooing motion with both her hands.
The message being quite clear, Frankie and I got back into his car. The ride was quiet at first, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable stillness. It felt like a weight I didn’t know I’d been carrying had been lifted. I stared at the server’s profile, alternately framed by nightly darkness and moonlight, drinking in every little detail about it. It was hard to believe that someone as cruel as Philomena Wallis had created something this breathtaking.
“So you’ll probably wanna talk about all of this, huh. About what I am, I mean.” Frankie’s voice was light and relaxed with only a hint of uncertainty gnawing at it.
“What’s there to talk about?”
“Aren’t you surprised? A little… disgusted, maybe?”
“I always knew you weren’t human. Beyond that, it doesn’t really matter to me what you are.” I shrugged. “I mean, I’d be fine if you were human, too. I’d be fine if you were a squonk.”
“What’s a squonk?”
“I don’t know, I just made that up. Anyways, did you actually think I would be grossed out? Did you?”
He smiled. “I guess not. This’ll sound crazy, and it’s hard to explain, but it’s like I got a voice in the back of my head constantly telling me that… that I should wash myself again or that I ought not to touch you. I suppose it’s not really a voice; it’s only these thoughts that kind of keep pushing into my mind even though I should know better. And I do know better. But that doesn’t stop the thoughts.”
I nodded slowly. “I think I understand. I can’t tell you how much I disagree with that voice, though. You’re the cleanest person I’ve ever met and if I could, I’d live in your hair like a cootie."
"That's how close you want me?"
"Yup.”
He let out a soft laugh. “I’m really, really glad you came with me. If there’s ever anything you need, I’ll do it. No matter what. If you want to bury a body, I’ll dig the hole.” He paused. “Actually, we should sell any corpses you might have. It’s wonderfully lucrative.”
I shot him a quick smile before turning to stare out the window with knitted brows. “What do you think about what Mary Markov said? About you being able to make the dolls come alive somehow.”
“I don’t know if there’s anything to it. I don’t remember doing anything special with them. Zion and Bunny were just standing around when I turned them on, and they came to within minutes. I figured they were sentient before, and it was simply repressed. I woke up randomly, too, after all.”
I hummed pensively. “I wouldn’t be so sure.”
“Well, if you’re implying it’s some kinda superpower, then that’s probably the most useless one ever.”
“We don’t have to talk about this now,” I told him, to which he gave me a grateful half-grin.
Per my request, he dropped me off at Nettie’s place. I kissed him goodbye on the crown of his head and told him we’d text the following day. He thanked me again and I watched him drive off before going up to ring the doorbell, mentally preparing an apology for showing up at five-thirty in the morning. My savior human was surprisingly quick to answer, giving me an indulgent wave as soon as I stumbled over my first “I’m sorry”.
“It’s fine,” she muttered. “I hadn’t gone to bed yet.”
I gave her an incredulous look and she sighed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Her normally soft, rounded cheeks were sunken, her eyes oddly dull. Judging from the angry red marks, she’d apparently been chewing on her lower lip with some force. It was only then that I took note of the sweater she was wearing. A faded, shaggy piece of fabric that clearly hadn’t been washed since Kit Sutton had given it to her on the cliff that day. I felt a sharp pang in my chest and pulled her into a hug as soon as I’d stepped inside with her.
She stifled a sob when she wrapped her arms around me in return. “It’s hit or miss with me when it comes to sleep lately,” she confessed in a brittle voice.
I swallowed. “I’m working on it. I’ll get her back for you, I have a lead. Is there anything I can do in the meantime?”
“Not really. I just gotta distract myself ‘til the morning comes, I’ll be fine then.”
“Then I’ll stay up with you.”
It was thus decided. We sat down in the living room for a while, then went out into the garden to watch the sunrise. My savior human had taken her place in her mother’s chair while I whipped up some chocolate chip pancakes (one of her favorites) for her for breakfast. I carried them out to her on a little plate with a cup of tea, and for a moment, her expression cleared up for a beam of happiness to shine through. “We should do something productive,” she remarked, and I gave her a questioning tilt of the head. “I’ve been thinking,” she went on. “Isn’t it weird how all these years, you didn’t hop dimensions once, and now all of a sudden it keeps happening?”
“Don’t worry about that right now.”
“I always worry, baby girl. It’s my natural state of being.”
“It shouldn’t be,” I insisted. “It feels wrong. You have your own problems, I don’t want to add to that.”
“Seriously, that’s not what’s happening here. This is just how I keep my mind off… things.”
I rolled my lips together. Blue-haired things, probably. “You deserve so much better. You deserve this to be way, way easier,” I stated.
“That’s a nice thought. But it doesn’t change anything right now. You can control your body, can’t you? Your teeth and tentacles?”
“Yes. It happens automatically when I get scared sometimes, but for the most part, I’m actively doing it.”
“Then how about if we could somehow start getting you on top of your dimension jumping, too? It would be a tad risky and I’m not sure how to go about it exactly, but it would be far better if you could toggle it. You’d be able to stop yourself from hopping when you don’t want to, but maybe you could venture into these other spaces for exploration purposes, too.” The words spilled out of her like a babbling little waterfall as she plucked apart one of her pancakes and stuffed them into her mouth. “Because there has to be more to this. I just have that feeling. So I reckon we try and find a way to work with this. What do you think?”
“Sure. I guess I’d be… open to that.”
“Really? I-I don’t want to pressure you…”
“No, no, it sounds fine! I wanna try!”
“Okay!” She set aside her plate, rubbing her hands in blatant excitement. “So it happens when your flight instinct kicks in, correct? How about we get you in that headspace on purpose?”
“How would we do that?” I asked cautiously.
When I was sitting cross-legged on the ground among my savior human’s countless flowers with my eyes closed and her hand in mine, that question had pretty much answered itself. Nettie Peterson was leading me in a “guided meditation” consisting of several intrusive queries about my first ever jump—the most terrifying moment of my entire life.
“The thing, that floating maw, what did it look like?” she began, referring to the creature that had ended it all.
I furrowed my brows. “It didn’t look like anything,” I replied meekly. “Mostly, it was just… really big and dark.”
“Dark? What color dark?”
“Black, I guess. It swallowed the light.” A pulsating pain began to flare up behind my forehead. “It was nothing. It was like a giant ball of nothing.”
“You told me once that it made a noise,” my best friend went on, her fingers grasping mine a little tighter. “Do you remember that sound?”
I winced. “Yes.”
“Describe it.”
“It was more like a vibration that went through everything,” I mumbled. “The ground was shaking. And then we all screamed.”
“Did you see inside its mouth?”
“No. There was nothing inside of its mouth. There was nothing inside of it. Just emptiness.” I shifted my weight. Images were flashing in front of my inner eye, filling the darkness behind my closed lids. My breath had caught in my throat and it felt like ants were crawling beneath my skin. “And then all of us were suddenly… nothing, everything was gone and at that last moment, everyone was so terrified. They all knew it was over. All of them.”
At first, I thought Nettie Peterson’s hand was trembling. Then I realized it was my own, shaking hers through the contact. For a moment, my body felt feather-light, but not in a relaxing or comfortable way. It was as though I was afloat, out of control and weightless. I didn’t like it. “Can we stop?” I choked out.
“Of course,” my best friend replied, gently squeezing my fingers.
I let go of a deep breath, blinking my eyes open. Across from me, Nettie was giving me a soft but deeply apologetic smile. “Did I push you too far?”
“It’s not your fault. I think I simply wasn’t ready for this.”
“I understand. Let’s go inside and make some more of those—” She stopped mid-sentence. She’d been pointing her chin at the plate of pancakes resting on her chair, only to see that it had changed.
The food I had just served her half an hour ago had turned into a moldy, rotten mess. A couple flies were circling it, emitting a low, almost melodic buzz. My savior human and I traded wide-eyed glances, disbelief, fear and excitement mirrored in our eyes. We then got up to take in our surroundings. The flowers surrounding us weren’t the same anymore. They were either withered or deathly pale; formerly pink, yellow and red petals had become either light gray or iridescently white. Thick, soupy fog was hanging over everything, it was denser and heavier than any we’d ever had in town before. The mist seemed to have consumed all the noise and color in the world, leaving only cold, oppressive silence.
Nettie was the first to regain speech. “It worked! Oh my Lord, it actually worked.”
I clasped her arm and she immediately fell silent. Wordlessly, I pointed at the rolling fog on the other side of the garden fence. There was something moving within. An enormous, caterpillar-like shape soundlessly dragged itself through the air, its long body slowly moving along across the street. My savior human’s jaw had dropped, her mouth wide open as she followed my gaze. Neither of us moved a muscle as we waited for the creature to pass by. Thankfully, it didn’t seem to take note of us at all. I didn’t want to imagine what could happen if one were to draw its attention.
“This is… I don’t believe this,” Nettie breathed, running a hand over her mussed coils. “You did it. We’re not home anymore.”
“What do you propose to do now?”
“Keep our heads low and try to find out anything useful, I’d say.”
I nodded and she folded her hand into the crook of my arm. Together, we proceeded through the open door back into the house. Wammawink and Nettie’s old convertible were standing in their garage, a pool of motor fluid surrounding each vehicle. The paint was peeling from the car doors, matching the way the pictures and photographs around her house had faded.
The food in her kitchen had morphed into a self-contained ecosystem. Bugs were crawling up and down the walls and ghostly white mice scuttled across the floor with shocking brazenness. There was no trace of human life anywhere in sight. We stepped out the front door and into the street only for Nettie to grab me and fling me to the ground next to her. We flattened ourselves against the curb as another one of the gigantic caterpillar-figures snaked its way along just a couple feet above our heads. I craned my neck to give my best friend a sidelong glance out of terrified, saucer-sized eyes. I could see my reflection in hers as she pressed a finger to her lips. I gave her a tiny nod.
Finally, it was gone again and we helped each other to our feet. Nettie brushed down her sweater with great care before tilting her head at me as though asking if I was alright. I gave a reassuring, albeit wavering smile which she returned with a slight strain to her brow. We linked arms again and started walking down the street. The whole dimension seemed to be a mirror image of our hometown, only deader. Aside from the flies and vermin, there seemed to be very little life. All of the houses we were so familiar with looked decrepit, old and empty. Walls were crumbling down, roofs looked to be seconds away from caving in and most windows were shattered. It was impossible to see ahead through the mist, but we managed to hide from the flying worm-things everytime they came up.
We were starting to become a little frustrated seeing as our exploration yielded nothing of note. There was hardly anything to be seen safe from the depressing alternate version of our neighborhood. On top of that, the clammy chill that hung in the air along with the fog was making us increasingly uncomfortable. Finally, we decided we should try and get back home. We returned to Nettie’s garden where we crouched down once again, hand in hand. Before my savior human could begin her questioning though, the ground beneath us suddenly began to shudder, heaving as if moved by some kind of subterranean pulse.
Nettie Peterson and I snapped our eyes open at the exact same time, mouths agape in bewilderment. And then we saw it. It was in the sky, partially veiled by the thick fog yet impossible to overlook. It became darker and darker as it neared, its indescribably large form seemed to envelop the entirety of the heavens. It had been five years since I had last seen it, but I recognized it immediately. Not that it had any features I could have recognized. I remembered though, and in that moment, it all came flooding back to me. The breeders that threw themselves in front of their young, the cries that echoed across the plains together with the stones and soil sent rolling by the earthquake. I caught my best friend’s gaze, read the terror in it and knew that it was just as immense as my own. Her lips were parted in an ear-piercing scream that ended up being drowned out by the hovering roar of the Devourer Of Worlds.
I squeezed her hand so tightly I feared I’d snap her fingers. And suddenly, before I knew it, all was silent again. The air was warmer, filled with the fragrances of countless different flowers. The early morning sun was shining down on us, and it felt like it was heating up my very core. We were back. In the blink of an eye, Nettie had thrown her arms around me, pulling me close to her chest.
“Baby girl,” she whispered.
“That was it,” I rasped out. “That was it.”
“I know.” Withdrawing just an inch, she wiped a thumb over my eye, careful not to scrape me with her nail. It was only then that I realized I was crying. Tears were streaming down my cheeks, noiseless and hot, dripping from my chin and wetting my chest.
"You're not hurt, are you? Look, it's going to be alright. You just take it easy now. We'll go inside, have some tea or coffee or whatever and calm down, a-and then we can figure this all out. Come on. Get up. Easy, easy now." She hugged me even as she pulled me to my feet and into the house alongside her. "So tea. How about strawberry? Or Turkish apple? Or classic chamomile? Something for the nerves, at any rate."
"Wait," I stammered, interrupting her monologue. "What about you? Are you okay?"
"Oh, no. No, no, no, far from it. I'll sign us both up for therapy once I find the time, but for now, tea! Tea."
"Nettie, please don't strain yourse—"
"Listen here, I'm gonna make you some goddamn tea and we'll sit down with it and it's gonna be warm and nice and we'll forget all about this. I'm here. I can take care of you. You do not need to be scared." She pressed her face close up to mine, her voice sharp and a mite threatening.
"I'm sort of scared of you right now."
"Oh." She drew back. "Pardon. I'll put on the tea." A forced, crooked tune tumbled from her lips as she went ahead into the kitchen.
We've both simmered down a little since the incident. It's been two days now. I used most of that time to unwind and recover from what had to be the single most eventful night of my time here on earth. Keep in mind, this happened the morning after the fire. The calm is not going to last much longer, though. I don't mind that, I just need to brace myself.
Rhonda's been in touch.
X
1
2: deadbeat roommate
3: creepy crush
4: relocation
5: beach concert
6: First date
7: Temp work
8: roommate talk
9: a dismal worldview
10: warehouse
11: staircase
12: explanation
13: hurt
14: hospital
15: ocean
16: diner
17: government work
18: something in the caves
19: shopping cart
20: olms and Jewels
21: long hair
22: recruitment
23: waitresses
24: dollhouse
25: burning plastic
2023.06.09 14:04 ColBlackhawk WWI Story (PART 1) Journey to the Frontline
My great-grandfather, Alexander Houck Mosier, served in WWI with the 79th Division during the Meuse-Argonne Offensive, which took place from September 26, 1918, to November 11th, 1918. This is his story.
I have in my possession the transcription of a diary he wrote while deployed. A major help in writing this story is the book History of the Seventy-Ninth Division A.E.F. during the World War: 1917-1919, published in 1922. The book was extremely helpful, as Alexander had trouble spelling the French names. Reading along helped me to narrow down the towns he traveled through. I also have created a google map (https://www.google.com/maps/d/edit?mid=1Q49-SJTkOTM5jPSWg-qH7cAeFjOtm68&usp=drive_link) , which plots where I think he was. Especially in later parts where his division is in combat, the pins mark the general area. The map covers his whole diary, so minor spoilers for where he traveled.
In this story, I have picked specific entries from his diary, marked in bold, to tell the story, with my comments/ summary along with quotes from the book, in italics. There are entries for each day, but some are removed to shorten the length of the story.
Alexander Houck Mosier was born on May 25, 1894, in Maryland. When he was drafted, he was a laborer in a flour mill with an 8th grade education. He was drafted at the age of 23 and was sent to Camp Meade in 1917 as part of the 79th Division, 313th Infantry, Company D.
Major General Joseph A. Kuhn oversaw the division, with Colonel Claude B. Sweezey commanding the 313th infantry. The men of the 79th division were drawn from Pennsylvania, Maryland, and the District of Columbia. A good example of the demographic makeup of the division is given in the form of the 310th Field Artillery: “In this one regiment there were fifteen nationalities, American, Russian, Italian, Polish, Austrian, Jewish, Swiss, English, Lithuanian, Greek, Bohemian, French, Irish, Romanian, and even German. There were four different religious beliefs, Protestant, Catholic, Hebrew and Greek Catholic, while twenty-five men of the regiment asserted they had no religious adherence. As to educational attainments, but fifty men in the regiment had ever attended college, while 114 had no education of any sort. Others had been to elementary, grammar and high schools.”
By September 30th, all the men had arrived at Camp Meade and were ready for training. The training lasted from October 1st, 1917, to July 5th, 1918. On July 5th, the division departed for Hoboken.
Saturday, 6 July: Reached Jersey City about 4 AM. Taken ferry across to Hoboken, on ferry boat. Loan aboard U.S.S. Leviathan. Went on Guard at 6 PM.
U.S.S. Leviathan was formerly the German Liner Vaterland, seized along with the entire U.S. branch of the Hamburg American Line when war was declared. The ship was originally designed to carry 4,500 passengers but by the time Alexander boarded, it had been upgraded to 14,000.
Monday, 15 July – Arrived at Brest about 2:30 PM. Stayed aboard ship all night. Up all night, band playing.
Tuesday, 16 July- Left boat and landed at Brest, walking 6 miles. Arrived at rest camp about 12 AM. Weather was cloudy and rainy. Went in a field of weed. Work hard to get tent up in rain.
Thursday, 18 July- Left camp about 2 AM. Walked 6 miles. Boarded cars 42 men to a car. Passed through Lerody, Landerneaux. Bremmes a very nice town. Munitions Camp located.
An excerpt on what the box cars were like: “Box cars are usually provided for the accommodation of the troops. They hold from 3'-2 to 40 men. Sometimes seats are provided. Straw will be provided whenever practicable to make the men as comfortable as possible when traveling in cold weather. Space at each end of the car should be left clear for rifles, rations and accoutrements; the rifles being secured by an improvised rack made with screw rings and a strap or sling.”
Friday, 19 July – Still traveling. Passed Angers, Tours, Vierson (Vierzon) large R.R. Centre. People of better classed. Nice homes.
Saturday, 20 July – Still on board train without much comfort eating or sleeping. Passed Dijon. Mostly wheat and potatoes grown. Seen droves of cattle 1500. Several camps, some been overseas 8 months.
Sunday, 21 July- Arrived about 6 AM. After being on train about 80 hours, walked 4 miles and secured quarters. 3rd floor 18 men in 1 room very good after being on train. Town named Blissey sa Pierre. Rained all day.
Thursday, 25 July- Hiked 2 hours with heavy packs and then drilled till noon. Packed up and left. Passed through Chatillon SuSeine. Reached Longeaux (Longeau) about 1 o’clock and stayed till morning.
Friday, 26 July- Left Longeaux (Longeau) about 11 AM. Traveled in trucks about 2 PM. Billeted again not very good. Town prices very high. Champlittle (Champlitte) name of town.
Champlitte was the site of the Tenth Training Area, where the division was to spend all of August in intensive combat training. This area had not been touched by the war. A description of the area: “It was picturesque from one end of the training area to the other, with the peasants always ready to extend a hearty greeting. Men of the Ammunition Train tell of a large sign displayed on the town hall, or hotel de ville of one of the places they entered, bearing the inscription, “Welcome to our American Friends,” and of the formal address of welcome delivered by the town’s patriarch, while the children and girls threw flowers to the men standing in the ranks. There was, however, little to do in the area by way of recreation. At the end of a hard day’s work the sole amusements would be a stroll through quaint village streets, a halting conversation with a native, or a glass of light wine sipped in a sidewalk cafe. Regulations forbidding the sale of strong liquors were enforced by the military authorities and were well observed on the part of the French population.”
From July 26 to September 8th, Alexander’s entries are sometimes short. The following is a selection of that time.
Saturday – 3 August – Short drill and lecture of care of feet. Taking automatic rifle apart with eyes tied shut with a handkerchief. Taking all apart with eyes tight shut, putting together the same way. Inspected by Lt. Townsend. Only 1 pin missed but would not stop from shooting.
Thursday – 8 August- Shooting on rifle range with automatic rifle. Made a good score. 23 five shots.
Thursday – 15 August – Drilled in morning and went to gas house and tested our gas mask. Took part of positions in front line trenches in honor of some Catholic festival. Nearly all people turned out.
Friday- 23 August- Went on 6 hour hike about 16 miles. In evening foot inspection. Tired and hungry and received pay. Also emergency rations. Still warm and cloudy and very cold at night.
Saturday – 31 August – Drilled and went through the manual of arms. Drilled with gas mask on for 1 hour. Pretty hard to get on in six seconds.
Monday – 2 September – General inspection of equipment. All taking a bath. One man drowned name Raspa. I ran for a pole up to town about 500 yards.
DROWNED? Taking a bath? What an awful way to go.
Sunday – 8 September – Left Campsite. Walked 6 Miles to Oyrios. (Oyreires) No rest men drop out about 11 AM. Boarded train with 2 days of rations at 5:45 PM. 40 men to a car, passed backed to Champlatde Maatz Chaumorunt (no idea).
Monday, 9 September – Passed Revigny Barekduc (Bar-le-duc?), reached Longville and unloaded. 9:30 AM went to town and stayed up in a hay loft.
Tuesday, 10 September – Rainy, no drill. More troops passing, auto trucks passing through, No retreat.
Thursday, 12 September – Cloudy and rainy. Inspection of everything, gun and clothes. Detail unloading cars, hay, and goats.
This story will continue in 3 days with PART 2: Preparing to Attack
submitted by ColBlackhawk to MilitaryStories [link] [comments]
I have in my possession the transcription of a diary he wrote while deployed. A major help in writing this story is the book History of the Seventy-Ninth Division A.E.F. during the World War: 1917-1919, published in 1922. The book was extremely helpful, as Alexander had trouble spelling the French names. Reading along helped me to narrow down the towns he traveled through. I also have created a google map (https://www.google.com/maps/d/edit?mid=1Q49-SJTkOTM5jPSWg-qH7cAeFjOtm68&usp=drive_link) , which plots where I think he was. Especially in later parts where his division is in combat, the pins mark the general area. The map covers his whole diary, so minor spoilers for where he traveled.
In this story, I have picked specific entries from his diary, marked in bold, to tell the story, with my comments/ summary along with quotes from the book, in italics. There are entries for each day, but some are removed to shorten the length of the story.
Alexander Houck Mosier was born on May 25, 1894, in Maryland. When he was drafted, he was a laborer in a flour mill with an 8th grade education. He was drafted at the age of 23 and was sent to Camp Meade in 1917 as part of the 79th Division, 313th Infantry, Company D.
Major General Joseph A. Kuhn oversaw the division, with Colonel Claude B. Sweezey commanding the 313th infantry. The men of the 79th division were drawn from Pennsylvania, Maryland, and the District of Columbia. A good example of the demographic makeup of the division is given in the form of the 310th Field Artillery: “In this one regiment there were fifteen nationalities, American, Russian, Italian, Polish, Austrian, Jewish, Swiss, English, Lithuanian, Greek, Bohemian, French, Irish, Romanian, and even German. There were four different religious beliefs, Protestant, Catholic, Hebrew and Greek Catholic, while twenty-five men of the regiment asserted they had no religious adherence. As to educational attainments, but fifty men in the regiment had ever attended college, while 114 had no education of any sort. Others had been to elementary, grammar and high schools.”
By September 30th, all the men had arrived at Camp Meade and were ready for training. The training lasted from October 1st, 1917, to July 5th, 1918. On July 5th, the division departed for Hoboken.
Saturday, 6 July: Reached Jersey City about 4 AM. Taken ferry across to Hoboken, on ferry boat. Loan aboard U.S.S. Leviathan. Went on Guard at 6 PM.
U.S.S. Leviathan was formerly the German Liner Vaterland, seized along with the entire U.S. branch of the Hamburg American Line when war was declared. The ship was originally designed to carry 4,500 passengers but by the time Alexander boarded, it had been upgraded to 14,000.
Monday, 15 July – Arrived at Brest about 2:30 PM. Stayed aboard ship all night. Up all night, band playing.
Tuesday, 16 July- Left boat and landed at Brest, walking 6 miles. Arrived at rest camp about 12 AM. Weather was cloudy and rainy. Went in a field of weed. Work hard to get tent up in rain.
Thursday, 18 July- Left camp about 2 AM. Walked 6 miles. Boarded cars 42 men to a car. Passed through Lerody, Landerneaux. Bremmes a very nice town. Munitions Camp located.
An excerpt on what the box cars were like: “Box cars are usually provided for the accommodation of the troops. They hold from 3'-2 to 40 men. Sometimes seats are provided. Straw will be provided whenever practicable to make the men as comfortable as possible when traveling in cold weather. Space at each end of the car should be left clear for rifles, rations and accoutrements; the rifles being secured by an improvised rack made with screw rings and a strap or sling.”
Friday, 19 July – Still traveling. Passed Angers, Tours, Vierson (Vierzon) large R.R. Centre. People of better classed. Nice homes.
Saturday, 20 July – Still on board train without much comfort eating or sleeping. Passed Dijon. Mostly wheat and potatoes grown. Seen droves of cattle 1500. Several camps, some been overseas 8 months.
Sunday, 21 July- Arrived about 6 AM. After being on train about 80 hours, walked 4 miles and secured quarters. 3rd floor 18 men in 1 room very good after being on train. Town named Blissey sa Pierre. Rained all day.
Thursday, 25 July- Hiked 2 hours with heavy packs and then drilled till noon. Packed up and left. Passed through Chatillon SuSeine. Reached Longeaux (Longeau) about 1 o’clock and stayed till morning.
Friday, 26 July- Left Longeaux (Longeau) about 11 AM. Traveled in trucks about 2 PM. Billeted again not very good. Town prices very high. Champlittle (Champlitte) name of town.
Champlitte was the site of the Tenth Training Area, where the division was to spend all of August in intensive combat training. This area had not been touched by the war. A description of the area: “It was picturesque from one end of the training area to the other, with the peasants always ready to extend a hearty greeting. Men of the Ammunition Train tell of a large sign displayed on the town hall, or hotel de ville of one of the places they entered, bearing the inscription, “Welcome to our American Friends,” and of the formal address of welcome delivered by the town’s patriarch, while the children and girls threw flowers to the men standing in the ranks. There was, however, little to do in the area by way of recreation. At the end of a hard day’s work the sole amusements would be a stroll through quaint village streets, a halting conversation with a native, or a glass of light wine sipped in a sidewalk cafe. Regulations forbidding the sale of strong liquors were enforced by the military authorities and were well observed on the part of the French population.”
From July 26 to September 8th, Alexander’s entries are sometimes short. The following is a selection of that time.
Saturday – 3 August – Short drill and lecture of care of feet. Taking automatic rifle apart with eyes tied shut with a handkerchief. Taking all apart with eyes tight shut, putting together the same way. Inspected by Lt. Townsend. Only 1 pin missed but would not stop from shooting.
Thursday – 8 August- Shooting on rifle range with automatic rifle. Made a good score. 23 five shots.
Thursday – 15 August – Drilled in morning and went to gas house and tested our gas mask. Took part of positions in front line trenches in honor of some Catholic festival. Nearly all people turned out.
Friday- 23 August- Went on 6 hour hike about 16 miles. In evening foot inspection. Tired and hungry and received pay. Also emergency rations. Still warm and cloudy and very cold at night.
Saturday – 31 August – Drilled and went through the manual of arms. Drilled with gas mask on for 1 hour. Pretty hard to get on in six seconds.
Monday – 2 September – General inspection of equipment. All taking a bath. One man drowned name Raspa. I ran for a pole up to town about 500 yards.
DROWNED? Taking a bath? What an awful way to go.
Sunday – 8 September – Left Campsite. Walked 6 Miles to Oyrios. (Oyreires) No rest men drop out about 11 AM. Boarded train with 2 days of rations at 5:45 PM. 40 men to a car, passed backed to Champlatde Maatz Chaumorunt (no idea).
Monday, 9 September – Passed Revigny Barekduc (Bar-le-duc?), reached Longville and unloaded. 9:30 AM went to town and stayed up in a hay loft.
Tuesday, 10 September – Rainy, no drill. More troops passing, auto trucks passing through, No retreat.
Thursday, 12 September – Cloudy and rainy. Inspection of everything, gun and clothes. Detail unloading cars, hay, and goats.
This story will continue in 3 days with PART 2: Preparing to Attack
2023.06.09 13:32 wardXn 35 day solo itinerary check across western Honshu, Shikoku, Osaka/Kyoto, Kanazawa and Tokyo
Hello, I would like to seek fellow redditors opinions, input and recommendation on how I could better finetune my itinerary better. There's only so much I can think of, and plan as an individual, but with everyone's input and comments I can further refine and enhance the travel experience before I set foot into Japan. Do forgive me in advance for the theorycrafting wall of text.
I know it may be difficult to review the itinerary, so to make the review easier I have broken the itinerary down into specific sub-groups e.g. Shikoku, Kinki etc. Specific questions that I have are bolded.
Thank you in advance for taking your time to provide your opinions!
-------------
Baseline information
Specific goals/objective:
Locked-in prefectures [i.e. I will definitely go to those prefectures no matter what]:
Wait-list prefectures (prefectures that I want to go, but I don’t think I can realistically fit in without dropping other locations):
General planning philosophy:
Shikoku (~7 days)
Specific thoughts while planning:
Day 3: Tokushima (Iya Valley) [Tuesday, 14 Nov]
[Post-research note: I realized that there is NO public transport to Mount Tsurugi on a weekday. I will have to rent a taxi direct to Mount Tsurugi, make the 'climb', then thereafter take the taxi down to the other attractions. I am inclined to just go full hog on the private taxi and rent it (almost the whole day, probably 7~8 hours for 4300yen/hour) to save the trouble.
Otherwise, I will need to hike downhill which can be rather rough since its just a single lane road (looking at nearly 10++ km) so I think it wise not to penny pinch in the interest of both time and safety.]
Spend the day at Iya Valley.
Day 4: Tokushima (Iya Valley) Kochi (Kochi) [Wednesday, 15 Nov]
Day 5: Kochi (Kochi) Ehime (Imabari) [Thursday, 16 Nov]
Day 6: Ehime (Matsuyama / Imabari) [Friday, 17 Nov]
I am of the opinion that 1 day in Shimanami Kaido is adequate if I attempt just the main route which is about 80km [as a test run, I did 70km and finished it within 6-7 hours with lunch breaks included]. For now I will plan for two full days, however should I truncate it down to one day later, I will add an extra day to either explore Matsuyama or Okayama.
Hiroshima + Yamaguchi (~4 days)
Specific thoughts while planning:
Day 8: Hiroshima (Shinamani Kaido Onomichi) [Sunday, 19 Nov]
Day 9: Hiroshima (Onomichi, Takehara+Kure OR Tomonoura OR Okayama) Downtown Hiroshima) [Monday, 20 Nov]
Day 10: Hiroshima (Downtown Hiroshima) [Tuesday, 21 Nov]
Spend the day surveying Hiroshima proper.
Day 11: Hiroshima (with a day trip to Yamaguchi) [Wednesday, 22 Nov]
Shimane + Tottori (4 days)
Specific thoughts while planning:
Day 12: Hiroshima Shimane (Matsue) [Thursday, 23 Nov]
Day 13: Shimane (Izumo / Matsue) [Friday, 24 Nov]
Day 14: Shimane (Matsue) Tottori (Kurayoshi) [Saturday, 25 Nov]
Day 15: Tottori (Kurayoshi Tottori) [Sunday, 26 Nov]
-----------
Hyogo, Kyoto, Osaka , Nara, Mie (10 days)
Specific thoughts while planning:
Day 16: Tottori (Tottori) Hyogo (Kinosaki Onsen) [Monday, 27 Nov]
Day 17: Hyogo (Kinosaki Onsen + Northern Kyoto (Amanohashidate) day trip) [Tuesday, 28 Nov]
Day 19: Hyogo (Himeji Kobe) Osaka (Dotonburi) [Thursday, 30 Nov]
Day trip to Kobe, before continuing further down to Osaka.
Osaka Nostalgia (acid) trip, speedrun edition: revisiting places that I want to go again
Spend a day in Nara.
Day trip to Mie.
(north) Kyoto day trip.
Day 24: Osaka ('south' Kyoto day trip) [Tuesday, 5 Dec]
(south) Kyoto day trip edition (mainly Uji and Fushimi).
Day 25: Osaka (wildcard) [Wednesday, 6 Dec]
Spare day to do whatever I feel like doing OR reallocate this to another prefecture. Intentionally left blank for later planning
-------------
Kanazawa, Gifu+ (4 days)
Specific thoughts while planning:
Day 27: Ishikawa (Kanazawa cityside) / Gifu (Shirakawago, Takayama) [Friday, 8 Dec]
Day 28: Ishikawa (Kanazawa cityside / outskirts) [Saturday, 9 Dec]
Side trip to Wakura Onsen / Nanao for anime-related sightseeing. (Insomanics after Class, Hanasaku Iroha)
Spare day to do whatever I feel like doing OR reallocate this to another prefecture. Intentionally left blank for later planning
--------------
Tokyo (~6 days)
Specific thoughts while planning:
Explore ('west') Tokyo, namely Shibuya, Shinjuku and Nakano.
EITHER take a day trip Kamakura, OR explore northern Tokyo (Ikebukuro)
Kamakura leg:
Spare day to do whatever I feel like doing OR reallocate this to another prefecture. Intentionally left blank for later planning
Day 35: Tokyo Home [Saturday, 16 Dec]
---------------------
If you're still reading up to this point, here's my own personal ramblings/thoughts on JR pass usage:
I have thought of two ways of doing this for the first 21 days:
a. easy-mode : just get 21 days JR global pass before the price hike at 60450 yen, OR b. hard-mode: get a 7 day JR global pass (to cover the NEX fees, the basic fee on the Sunrise Seto to Shikoku, as well as limited express trains within Shikoku) (29650) + 5 days for JR Okayama Hiroshima Yamaguchi Area Pass (15000) + 4 days for JR Sanin Okayama Area Pass + 5 days for JR Kansai Wide Area Pass (10000) for a total of 59230.
The initial conclusion was to go with option A since that reduces the administrative burden, but I realized the individual passes do have its own perk which truimphs over the global JR pass. For instance, the Sanin Okayama Area Pass provides a (minor) discount for the Adachi Museum of Art; the Kansai Wide Pass covers the Kyotango route between Kinosaki Onsen and Amanohashidate which the global JR pass does not cover, JR Okayama Hiroshima Yamaguchi Area Pass covers JR buses within Hiroshima for free, therefore I am inclined to go with the hell option (option B) as it stands.
For the remaining 14 days, I could also get the global 14 day JR pass at 47250 yen but it is not worth it at all, because I will be relying largely on Kintetsu for the Osaka/Kyoto/Nara/Mie leg which the JR pass most certainly does not cover.
Through the hodge-podge of multiple area passes, it works out to around 102890 yen for the whole trip of 35 days, contrast with 107700 yen for a 21 + 14 global JR pass. While there's a minor cost saving doing the hard way which sweetens the deal, the additional minor perks associated with the area passes sells it for me, as I would had to pay more out of pocket to cover non-JR pass buses/rails and such which would add up to much greater cost than I would had anticipated. Also, if I did this trip post-price hike in October, the calculus becomes a no-brainer: avoid the global JR pass like the plague.
-----
Thank you very much for your opinions, suggestions and advice in advance!
submitted by wardXn to JapanTravel [link] [comments]
I know it may be difficult to review the itinerary, so to make the review easier I have broken the itinerary down into specific sub-groups e.g. Shikoku, Kinki etc. Specific questions that I have are bolded.
Thank you in advance for taking your time to provide your opinions!
-------------
Baseline information
- 32M, average fitness, solo traveller
- Public transport only (challenge); I have a driver's license but I have not drove a car for god knows how long so I would prefer not to test it against the green hills of Shikoku
- Interest: anime (select few), experience autumn/nature, visiting secluded spots, and just trying random stuff
- JP language skill: rudimentary at best (N4), but I will not shy away from speaking in simple, broken japanese or use a translator to communicate. Reading/interpreting kanji is not a problem (in general).
- Visit history: Visited twice (once to Hokkaido for ~8 days, and once toKyoto and Osaka for 8 days
- Will probably travel around with a (slightly) oversized luggage at ~166cm (A+B+C), that’s the only one I have with me. This will be a problem on the Shinkansen (but hopefully not so much on sightseeing trains/limited expresses).
- Will be visiting during (almost) peak autumn at 11 November, and will depart on the 16th of December
- Jet lag is unlikely to be a problem (1h time difference), but nevertheless I will maintain a low tempo on the first day to acclimatize to the environment
- Only thing firmed as of now is the air ticket, everything else is up in the air.
- I like planning/min-maxing to some degree, though I recognize that I may not fulfill all objectives during the trip and I am totally ok with that [its just a guideline or framework to give the holiday some structure, that’s all.] FWIW, I personally like traveling at a high tempo pace like some japanese travel show do (e.g. ローカル路線バス乗り継ぎの旅)
Specific goals/objective:
- Experience Shikoku in autumn (specifically the views at Iya Valley) and in other prefectures (thus making nature sightseeing more of a priority this time round)
- Experience Kanazawa for anime stuff
- Experience the Shimanami Kaido in full (including any sightseeing spots in between the 6 island chains)
- Bonus - try as many sightseeing trains as possible.
- Bonus - if weather, time and schedule permits, try skiing as an option in Nagano.
- Bonus - stay in as many onsen ryokans as possible, without breaking the bank.
Locked-in prefectures [i.e. I will definitely go to those prefectures no matter what]:
- Shikoku (as per above objective)
- Hiroshima (because its on the opposite end of the Shimanami Kaido)
- Kanazawa (for anime related reason)
- Tokyo (that is my starting and end point so it has to be included by default)
Wait-list prefectures (prefectures that I want to go, but I don’t think I can realistically fit in without dropping other locations):
- Snow skiing at Nagano (depending on how cooperative the weather is in early-ish December (would 2 days be sufficient?))
- Ehime, Kochi expansion [spend 1-3 more days]
- Izu Peninsula (~2 days, via Saphir Odoriko)
- Nagoya + lower Nagano (Kiso Valley) (~3 days)
- Ishikawa expansion [1 extra day at Kaga]
General planning philosophy:
- My itineary adopts a breadth approach (cover as much area as I can humanely possible without rushing/touch-and-go) as opposed to depth (i.e. spending much more time within Shikoku than what I allocated); though I would be open to considering more days at selected locations if you have strong recommendations. My thought is to experience how different autumn is at various parts of the country (if possible), and maybe winter too (to a certain degree).
- Due to the nature of my travel, I note that luggage logistics is a critical consideration when moving between prefectures; my thought is to park that luggage at the next hotel as quickly as possible so that I can free myself for sightseeing within the vicinity, or leave the luggage at the hotel after I check out until I am ready to travel to the next location. I will need to send (quite a fair bit of) emails to the hotels to confirm on this prior to booking.
- I will attempt to minimize transit time between prefectures to no more than 2~3 hours a day to avoid having excessively long transport days (except the initial Tokyo Kagawa jump).
- Because of the long trip, I will also need to factor a bit of downtime at night for administrative stuff (e.g. catching up a little bit on work, laundry etc).
Shikoku (~7 days)
Specific thoughts while planning:
- I will need to exploit Limited Express trains as much as possible to minimize downtime between the 4 prefectures. Fortunately, for the most part these train frequencies are almost hourly, thus missing one train isnt too deadly consequence-wise.
- The transfer between Kochi and Ehime [Matsuyama] is oddly quicker via express bus as opposed to trains (!)
- For Kochi, my opinion is that it is best explored on car instead of public transport [it’s a really wide prefecture]; I feel that 1 day may not do it justice, but it is probably adequate for exploring the city centre as a whole.
- There's a fair bit of uncertainties while planning this leg so I would deeply appreciate any advice you may have.
- This current iteration is unable to weave in the Shikoku Mannaka Sennen Monogatari sightseeing train [四国まんなか千年ものがたり] ; if you people think its something not to be missed do let me know and I will reshuffle my timetable as such.
- Touch down at Narita at 1720hours
- Transfer to Tokyo Station via NEX or Skyliner
- Settle administrative matters at the Midori-no-Maruguchi (e.g. get all the booked tickets etc from JR Pass, for Shinkansen and all other sightseeing trains) at Tokyo Station.
- IF Sunrise Seto ticket is obtained via the JR West portal booking, chill till 2200 and take Sunrise Seto to reach Kagawa (Takamatsu) at 0700 the next day. Try to snag the ticket online (likely via the japanese portal since there's no option to buy Solo Deluxe through the english/international website. Otherwise, compromise and go for Single)
- IF Sunrise Seto ticket is NOT obtained, proceed to take the furthest possible Shinkansen westwards (probably Okayama) and rest for the night.
- Chill around Takamatsu. Drop luggage at coin locker OR the hotel (near JR Takamatsu ideally)
- Look at whats left of Takamatsu Castle en route to the port.
- Day trip to Naoshima or Teshima to visit the art museums (Chichu Art Museum, Lee Ufan Museum etc).
- Ritsuin Garden in the evening (closes 1830)
- Find an eatery with Sanuki Udon for dinner if possible.
- Morning trip from Takamatsu to Kotohira (either via JR or Kotoden). Visit Kotohiragu [includes inner shrine] and Kanamaruza Theater
- Return to Kotohira to pick up luggage, transit to Oboke via Limited Express Shimanto [Takamatsu Tadotsu Oboke]
- Retire at a local hotel around Oboke. If time permits, take the chance to explore around Oboke Gorge itself.
Day 3: Tokushima (Iya Valley) [Tuesday, 14 Nov]
[Post-research note: I realized that there is NO public transport to Mount Tsurugi on a weekday. I will have to rent a taxi direct to Mount Tsurugi, make the 'climb', then thereafter take the taxi down to the other attractions. I am inclined to just go full hog on the private taxi and rent it (almost the whole day, probably 7~8 hours for 4300yen/hour) to save the trouble.
Otherwise, I will need to hike downhill which can be rather rough since its just a single lane road (looking at nearly 10++ km) so I think it wise not to penny pinch in the interest of both time and safety.]
Spend the day at Iya Valley.
- Take a taxi after breakfast to zip to Mount Tsurugi and speedrun it to the mountain peak (aka using the chairlift to speedrun a good chunk of the mountain) about 2.5 hours ~ 3 hours as per the Iya Valley guide
- Taxi from Mount Tsurugi chairlift down to Oku-Iya Niju Kazuraashi and cross it (~1 hour estimate)
- Taxi down to visit the mannequins/scarecrows at Nagoro Village (~3km downhill from Oku-Iya). (~1 hour estimate)
- Check out the Peeing Boy Statue (~0.5 hour estimate [its just looking at the statue that is overlooking the entire gorge is it not?])
- Cross the outer vine bridge Iya-no-Kazurabashi (~1 hour estimate)
- Taxi back to Oboke, and retire for the day (~0.5 hour estimate, thus looking at about ~8 hours taxi rental total, with some leeway for lunch break)
Day 4: Tokushima (Iya Valley) Kochi (Kochi) [Wednesday, 15 Nov]
- Transit from Iya Valley [Oboke] to Kochi via Limited Express Shimanto (again) after breakfast. (~1 hour transit)
- Park luggage at hotel [ideally near JR Kochi Station], then proceed to mill around Kochi, visiting places such as Kochi Castle [高知城] and Harimaya Bridge[はりまや橋]
- Transit to Sakamoto Ryoma Memorial Museum [高知県立坂本龍馬記念館] via local bus which is also near Katsumatsura Beach incidentally. Chill at Katsumatsura Beach in the evening
- Return to JR Kochi, dinnesupper at Hirome Market (ideally to try out Kochi's speciality seared bonito). [is visiting the market more preferable during lunch OR dinner?]
Day 5: Kochi (Kochi) Ehime (Imabari) [Thursday, 16 Nov]
- Complete any remaining items in Kochi in the morning, then transit to Imabari via train (Kochi Tadotsu Imabari), via Limited Express Shimanto (yet again!) and Ishidzuchi**[TBC: this might be better done via highway bus instead which is faster at ~2-3 hours]**
- Drop luggage at Imabari for the next 2 days, either at Sunrise Itoyama OR Cycle no Ie. [both are well positioned for the Shimanami Kaido, and are also one of the selected hotels eligible for the Sagawa luggage transfer.] Ideally done just around lunch time, so that there's still the better half of the day to explore Imabari.
- Spend the remainder of the day visiting Imabari Castle (closes 1700) and Towel Museum (slightly out of the way) (closes 1800) [TBC: I note this place is quite out of the way from Imabari itself, even the JP website suggests taking a taxi (!) there from the nearby train station. Might have to drop this).
- Attempt to try some Ehime-related food specialties e.g. Taimeshi (Sea Bream), Ehime oranges, Champon for the next 2 days
Day 6: Ehime (Matsuyama / Imabari) [Friday, 17 Nov]
- Take the Limited express train Ishidzuchi to Matsuyama day tripping. (~1h one-way).
- Explore Matsuyama Castle, and the nearby Matsuyama Ropeway Shopping Street
- Visit Shiki Memorial Museum
- Visit Dogo Onsen [and attempt to soak in the waters if possible].
- Also consider looking at Ishiteji (石手寺) beside Dogo Onsen.
- Bonus: Subject to train schedule, if possible, attempt to secure tickets for the Iyonada Sightseeing Train (伊予灘物語), Futami leg [双海ふたみ 編] , and also visit JR Shimonada Station (JR下灘駅) at the same time.
- Bonus: visit Yawatahama Port where the movie Suzume took reference from,
- Return to Imabari via the same Limited express Ishidzuchi and retire for the night.
I am of the opinion that 1 day in Shimanami Kaido is adequate if I attempt just the main route which is about 80km [as a test run, I did 70km and finished it within 6-7 hours with lunch breaks included]. For now I will plan for two full days, however should I truncate it down to one day later, I will add an extra day to either explore Matsuyama or Okayama.
- Start off at Sunrise Itoyama [watch the sunrise, have breakfast here, cafeteria opens at 0700, rental opens at 0800] OR Cycle no Ie. Do paperwork to send luggage over to the next accomodation via Sagawa.
- I will (probably) follow the recommended 'extended' route on Cycle no Ie's website and do the following:
- Take the west coast for Oshima (~13km) and cross to Hakatajima, with possible stop on:
- Mount Kiro Observatory Point [I am aware that there's a steep incline so this would be contingent on my physical/mental status by then].
- Nagahama Beach
- Take the west coast for Oshima (~13km) and cross to Hakatajima, with possible stop on:
- Take the coastal route for Hakatajima (~17km) and cross to Omishima and enjoy the coastal scenery
- Take the coastal route (again) for Omishima (~41km) (or lesser depending on how I'm feeling at that point) , with possible stop on:
- -TBC: Okunoshima (there is apparently a ferry route to the well-known rabbit island via Omishima port. Not sure if anyone else have tried this particular route and if this is a better approach than going through Tadano-umi (though I would acknowledge that there's historical stuff to visit in nearby Takehara), and I would not be able to buy rabbit food in advance).[Based on Google Earth estimate, its about 3km for the entire island loop - seems doable within 2 hours to tour the poison gas museum with a bike and pet some rabbits).
- Oyamazumi Shrine Treasure Museum
- End the day at WAKKA (Omishima) OR Guesthouse NEST / Soil Setoda (Ikuchijima) just beside Kousanji / The Hill of Hope (closes 1700). If possible, visit before closing, otherwise defer to next day.
- Try the ice cream at Dolce at Ikuchijima if possible.
- Bonus: if for some reason I am still ahead of time at this juncture (<1500), proceed to finish Innoshima and Mukaishima, then take a ferry to backtrack to Wakka/Soil Setoda or cycle back (last boat is ~1700) and rest; however, the next day I will zip straight to Onomichi via ferry after breakfast.
Hiroshima + Yamaguchi (~4 days)
Specific thoughts while planning:
- Onomichi is a pretty good base to jump to Okayama to explore Okayama, Kurashiki or Tomonoura with the Shinkansen accessibility, but it is impossible to cover them all within a single day. If I finish the Shimanami Kaido within a single day or finish it early on the second day, I will have that extra time to visit those.
- There's another sightseeing train etSETOra from Onomichi to Hiroshima but it only operates on Monday/Friday/Saturday/Sunday. For now the schedule could fit the train timetable pretty nicely.
- Would anyone suggest visiting Miyajima in the morning or in the evening? This would help me determine the order for the Kintaikyo Bridge/Miyajima day trip. Watching the sunset at either destination is pretty good in my books.
Day 8: Hiroshima (Shinamani Kaido Onomichi) [Sunday, 19 Nov]
- Continue from Ikuchijima towards Innoshima and Mukaishima (~18km) via the western coast route after breakfast, with possible stops on the following areas:
- Innoshima: Innoshima Flower Centre, Shimanami Beach [open to more suggestions]
- Mukaishima : there seems to be a lot of brunch places like Willows Nursery etc, soak the view at Mukaishima Rest Park [TBC: open to more suggestions]
- Exploring the cat alley
- Visit the exhibits at Onomichi City Museum of Art
- Consider walking to Senkoji and Onomichi Hondori Shopping Street
- Look into trying Onomichi-style ramen.
Day 9: Hiroshima (Onomichi, Takehara+Kure OR Tomonoura OR Okayama) Downtown Hiroshima) [Monday, 20 Nov]
- Mill around Onomichi in the morning (if not done yesterday), with a side trip to EITHER Takehara/Kure OR Okayama/Kurashiki OR Tomonoura (choose one):
- Takehara: stroll along the historical townscape [and look if they have any Tamayura-related merch], Okunoshima (if not done during the Shimanami Kaido leg / Kure: look into trying Kure curry/Niku-jaga and visit the Yamato Museum
- Okayama: Okayama Castle (zip via Shinkansen) / Kurashiki : Kurashiki Bikan Historical Quarter
- Tomonoura: stroll along the townscape during the day (zip via Shinkansen, transfer to local bus)
- Return to Onomichi (no later than 1400), board the etSETOra sightseeing train at 1437, and zip to Hiroshima. Enjoy the sunset along the coastline.
- Retire for the night at Hiroshima proper, probably near JR Hiroshima OR the bus terminal. If time permits, take a gander along the streets and see what takes me from there.
Day 10: Hiroshima (Downtown Hiroshima) [Tuesday, 21 Nov]
Spend the day surveying Hiroshima proper.
- Peace Memorial Park (平和記念公園) and Atomic Bomb Dome
- Hiroshima National Peace Memorial Hall for the Atomic Bomb Victims (国立広島原爆死没者追悼平和祈念館)
- Hiroshima Castle
- Orizuru Tower (おりづるタワー)
- Shukkeien (縮景園)
- Optional: Mazda Museum / Kure (if not done the previous day)
- Try to source for Hiroshima-specific food: Okonomiyaki, Dandan Noodles
Day 11: Hiroshima (with a day trip to Yamaguchi) [Wednesday, 22 Nov]
- Daytrip to Yamaguchi [Shin-Iwakuni] to visit Kintaikyo Bridge via Shinkansen. Also stop by the nearby Iwakuni Castle.
- Try Tonosama Sushi at Iwakuni if possible.
- Take the local train back to Miyajimaguchi and take the boat to Itsukushima.Take the time to stroll around the island and perhaps watch the sunset at the torii gate.
- Exit back to Hiroshima via boat to Hiroshima Port direct, and transit back to hotel.
Shimane + Tottori (4 days)
Specific thoughts while planning:
- Matsue becomes the main jump point for Shimane just because of the subsidized highway bus from Hiroshima, and ease of access towards Tottori later. There's no direct train between Hiroshima and Izumo/Matsue (!).
- Tottori is really wide size-wise, to the point that it feels more efficient to have two separate hotels in two nights (Kurayoshi/Misasa Onsen + downtown Tottori) rather than one hotel for two nights (i.e. downtown Tottori). Could be just me making excuses to get into an onsen ryokan however.
- Is there anything interesting at Yonago (Tottori) that I should take note of? Based on my initial survey nothing in particular pops up (other than the Tottori Prefectural Flower Park).
- Skipping Tottori Castle since it doesn’t seem to be interesting at first glance. Any other interesting things to at Tottori downtown (or nearby)?
Day 12: Hiroshima Shimane (Matsue) [Thursday, 23 Nov]
- Make good use of the 500yen highway bus from Hiroshima to Matsue. (3.5 hours transit). Fortunately the frequency is not too bad (7-8 buses per day, looking at 0800 departure or later); if there are still outstanding places to visit in Hiroshima I will visit them in the morning.
- Check in at a hotel near JR Matsue, and proceed to trawl around Matsue with whatever daylight is left. (TBC: am considering taking a few stops down to Tamatsukuri Onsen 玉造温泉 or Matsue-shinjoko Onsen instead of the typical hotel. Does anyone have any positive experiences there?)
- Attempt to spend the afternoon at the Adachi Museum of Art. Local train to Yasugi, transfer to free shuttle.
- Chill off in downtown Matsue for the night. Prowl for Shimane-specific food such as Naniwa Zushi (浪花寿司), Shijimi clams (しじみ), Izumo soba, Izumo Zenzai (出雲ぜんざい).
- Bonus: visit the Tottori Prefectural Flower Park for the winter Hanakairo Flower Illumination at Yonago at night [which is just beside Matsue. Free shuttle bus at Yonago bus terminal].
Day 13: Shimane (Izumo / Matsue) [Friday, 24 Nov]
- Day trip from Matsue to Izumo. (JR Matsue JR Izumo, swap to Ichibata local rail to Izumotaisha-mae)
- Take a stop at Izumo Taisha, as well as the nearby Shimane Museum of Ancient Izumo (島根県立古代出雲歴史博物館)
- After lunch, return to JR Matsue and proceed to Yushien Garden (由志園) via bus. Enjoy the sunset over the garden.
- Stop by Matsue Castle on the way back.
Day 14: Shimane (Matsue) Tottori (Kurayoshi) [Saturday, 25 Nov]
- Transfer from Matsue to Kurayoshi in the morning via Super Matsukaze Limited Express (~1h).
- Settle down luggage at Misasa Onsen, then proceed to hike up Mitokusan Sanbutsuji Temple (三仏寺). Cater extra time just in case I have to wait for another fellow to pop up to climb in pairs. Estimated climb time excluding wait is about 2-3 hours both ways?
- Excess time to be spent sauntering Misasa Onsen and its nearby area such as the Nijisseiki Pear Museum [二十世紀梨記念館（なしっこ館)] and Kurayoshi Historical Quarter.
- Retire at Misasa Onsen for the night. Bonus: watch the constellations at night at Misasa Onsen on a Monday/Wednesday/Friday, 2100JST. Current plan does not fall within those 3 weekdays
- Bonus: take a short detour to Conan Town (postnote: not a big fan of the show).
Day 15: Tottori (Kurayoshi Tottori) [Sunday, 26 Nov]
- Transfer from Kurayoshi to Tottori (~35minutes transfer) in the morning, and proceed to tour around Tottori.
- Drop luggage, take a local bus to Tottori Sand Dunes, and visit the nearby Sand Museum.
- Transfer northwards to Uradome Coast via local bus and spend the remainder of the day there. Watch the sunset over the coast.
- Return to downtown Tottori, stroll around and call it a night.
-----------
Hyogo, Kyoto, Osaka , Nara, Mie (10 days)
Specific thoughts while planning:
- Kinosaki Onsen is intentionally designed to be a slow-paced leg to recover [and also to make time to enjoy the onsens].
- The limited express train between Kinosaki Onsen and Osaka stops by Himeji thus I thought of resting a night there instead of doing day trips via Osaka.
- Osaka itinerary does look sparse but that is in large part because I have already visited most of them in the past. Nevertheless, I would like to experience how different it is in autumn compared to summer [based on those few destinations that I loved going previously].
- I have kept one float day to decompress, OR shift to any of the other prefectures (TBC).
- There are (multiple) special limited express train by Kintetsu; they're not covered by JR pass but nevertheless I would love to ride on those as an experience. The Kintetsu pass covers the basic fare only but based on my preliminary cost estimate, it is still worth getting it.
- Is it feasible to compress Himeji and Kobe to a single day?
- The itineraries for Osaka, Kyoto, Nara and Mie are flexible since they're literally beside one another - makes it particularly easy to shift around base on ground situation.
Day 16: Tottori (Tottori) Hyogo (Kinosaki Onsen) [Monday, 27 Nov]
- Settle any outstanding sightseeing spots in the morning if required in Tottori, then transfer to Kinosaki Onsen via the Sanin Line.
- Make a pitstop at Amarube ('Sky Station') and marvel at the engineering work.
- Deposit luggage at the ryokan (or put in the coin locker), and stroll around and enjoy Kinosaki Onsen [after all its an onsen town].
- Try to hit as many of the 7 external onsens that are usable. Retire for the night here.
- Optional: go up the ropeway and oversee Kinosaki Onsen in the evening (last ride up ~1630)
- Optional: take a short hike up to Onsenji Temple.
Day 17: Hyogo (Kinosaki Onsen + Northern Kyoto (Amanohashidate) day trip) [Tuesday, 28 Nov]
- Optional: take a (very) early start to the day to Takeda Castle Ruins and witness the 'floating castle' effect in the morning (<0800).
- Day trip to Amanohashidate via ToyookaKyotango Railway. Do the funny bend-down pose on the bench at Amanohashidate View Land, and see how it feels like looking at the world inverted.
- Cross the sandbar and look from the other side (Nariaiji Temple / Kasamatsu Park)
- Select one of three additional side-trips:
- EITHER take a local bus up to Ine to look at the Funaya + sightseeing boat,
- OR local rail down to Maizuru to look at the Maizuru World Brick Museum + eat at the Michi-no-eki;
- OR reverse to Toyooka spend time in the city itself e.g. Izushi Castle Town
- Return to Kinosaki Onsen, and continue experiencing the remainder of the onsens. Retire for the night here. Optional: ride the Aomatsu sightseeing train back to Toyooka.
- Optional: Take a trip to Ankokuji Temple (安国寺) in the evening. Likely to visit post-peak autumn which means less than ideal viewing conditions.
- Transit from Kinosaki Onsen to Himeji via Limited Express Hamakaze (~2 hours).
- Deposit luggage at the hotel or the coin lockers at the station, then proceed for sightseeing.
- Walk along the Miyuki Street Shopping District which is en-route to Himeji Castle.
- Himeji Castle sector : Himeji Castle (姫路城), Kokoen (好古園)
- Take a local bus at Himeji Castle to go to Mount Shosha and hike up Engyōji Temple (圓教寺)
- Optional : Stroll along Hyogo Prefectural Museum of History and/or Himeji City Museum of Art which is beside the castle, OR Shosha Handicraft Museum which is just at the foot of Mount Shosha
- Optional: Make a detour to the Japan Toy Museum near Koro station (~30 minutes from JR Himeji). Closes 1700.
- Look for Hyogo-specific food: Kobe beef, steamed pork buns, sobameshi, himeji oden, etc
Day 19: Hyogo (Himeji Kobe) Osaka (Dotonburi) [Thursday, 30 Nov]
Day trip to Kobe, before continuing further down to Osaka.
- Check out from Himeji, transit further down to Kobe for another stop before Osaka. Place luggage at the holding facility within the Shinkansen station.
- Take a visit to the Earthquake Memorial Museum (人と防災未来センター) to look at the devastation wrought by the 1995 earthquake.
- Stroll along Kobe Harborland (神戸ハーバーランド) and Meriken Park (メリケンパーク) , look at the Kobe Tower since its closed till 2024 for renovation, and look at the damage caused by the earthquake
- Optional: Head westwards to Hyogo Prefectural Museum of Art.
- Optional: Hit up the ASICS Sports Museum (アシックススポーツミュージアム)
- Look at the engineering feat that is the Akashi-Kaikyo Bridge and the nearby Akashi Kaikyo Bridge Exhibition Center at Maiko. (Suzume no Tojimari)
- Return to Shin-kobe, pick up luggage, and transit to Shin-Osaka via Shinkansen, and then to Dotonburi/Shinsaibashi. End the (long) day in Osaka.
Osaka Nostalgia (acid) trip, speedrun edition: revisiting places that I want to go again
- Day trip to Mino Park and revisit the waterfall (I loved visiting it previously) via the Hankyu line in the morning.
- Zoom down to the Osaka Aquarium after lunch and walk around it (Minoo Umeda Honmachi Osakako Station).
- From there, race towards Abeno Harukas and watch the sunset/nightview at Abeno Harukas.
- Bonus: revisit Sumiyoshi Taisha if time permits.
- Spend whatever time remains at night at Nipponbashi Denden Town (shops close at ~2000) and Dotonburi (some stores are still open near midnight) and/or Shinsekai (新世界).
Spend a day in Nara.
- Zoom from Namba to Nara via Kintetsu (note: non-JR)
- Explore Todaiji Temple, Kokufuji Temple, Isuien Garden and Kasuga Taisha.
- Optional: pass by Naramachi (奈良町) on the way back.
- Take the Kintetsu line down to Mount Yoshino. [TBC: subject to whether I am too early or late for the koyo.Based on last year's prediction I am about 1-2 weeks too late. Might swap this out to a Uji day trip instead in Kyoto.). Spend time walking around the Shimo Senbon and Naka Senbon and experience the autumn.
- Transfer back to Osaka. Bonus: take the Blue Symphony back to Osaka instead of the typical train. (non-JR)
Day trip to Mie.
- Take the Iseshima Liner from Tsuruhashi Station (near Namba/Dotonburi) to Ise. Bonus: take the Hinotori from Osaka to Tsu, then transfer to Mie. (non-JR)
- Hit up Ise Jingu (伊勢神宮) [both inner and outer] and Okage Yokocho (おかげ横丁)
- Try to eat Matsuaka Beef or Ise Udon for lunch.
- Head westwards to Futamiokitama Shrine (二見興玉神社) / Meotoiwa Rocks; and if further time permits, go to Toba for the Ama Viewing Platform.
- Take the returning Shimakaze Limited Express train back to Osaka (note: only one train at 1630; if this train is missed, change to normal express trains). (non-JR)
- Retreat back to Osaka for the night. Consider doing any other night activities in Osaka if time, and body permits.
(north) Kyoto day trip.
- Take a stop at the Kyoto Railway Museum. Optional: also consider heading to To-ji Gojunoto first if I reach Kyoto way early before 10am.
- Walk back to Kyoto station, and take a bus northwards to Kyoto Manga Museum.
- Hop on the bus direct from the Manga Museum to Kinkakuji. [bus 15]
- Select one of two side-trips:
- EITHER head westwards to Arashiyama (note: already visited once in the summer but I still think it nice to visit in autumn/winter this time round). Bonus: experience sunset along the Togetsukyo Bridge.
- OR head eastwards to Higashiyama (closes 1700), Philosopher's path etc (did not visit these in my past trip here so there's the 'new' factor, but it is going to be a physically taxing day. Also, most likely will reach here nearing evening i.e. closing time thus there's a limit to how much I can visit realistically).
Day 24: Osaka ('south' Kyoto day trip) [Tuesday, 5 Dec]
(south) Kyoto day trip edition (mainly Uji and Fushimi).
- Zip from Osaka to Kyoto via Keihan to Uji Station.
- Spend the better half of the morning in Uji.
- Visit the Byōdō-in and the nearby Tonoshima and Tachibana Island.
- Hike up to the Daikichiyama Observation Deck to oversee Uji as a whole. On the way down, explore Ujigami Shrine.
- Take the chance to buy some Uji tea as gifts to relatives. Have lunch along the Omotesando Road.
- Head further northwards to Fushimi, and do another hike up Fushimi Inari. (Note: visited once in the past but I liked the experience thus I would like to do it again.) Bonus: if its done in the evening.
Day 25: Osaka (wildcard) [Wednesday, 6 Dec]
Spare day to do whatever I feel like doing OR reallocate this to another prefecture. Intentionally left blank for later planning
-------------
Kanazawa, Gifu+ (4 days)
Specific thoughts while planning:
- Is it likely for the skiing season to open around 9~10 December at Shiga Kogen or Nozawa Onsen? Would very much like to try skiing for fun, but am uncertain if the snow condition would be satisfactory by then. Some of the skiing website indicates that these two destinations are usually the first to open. I would like to seek advise on this if possible [never skiied before].
- As an additional question to point 1, is 2 days adequate just to get a flavor on skiing?
- Kanazawa is a pretty solid jump point to Shirakawago/Takayama via express buses (~1 to 2 hour one way).
- My initial planning considered going to Kurobe Gorge (Toyama) but apparently the railways are closed from December onwards. Please correct me if I am mistaken.
- Another sightseeing train in Kanazawa that I can fit in nicely in my current plans (花嫁のれん), runs on Mon/Fri/Sat/Sun.
- Zip from Osaka to Kanazawa via Limited Express Thunderbird in the early morning (~3hours; ideally the 0740 or 0810 service). Drop luggage at the hotel near JR Kanazawa and explore the cityside.
- Have lunch at the Omicho Market (近江町市場), OR at Higashi Chaya District.
- Stroll around Kanazawa Castle (金沢城, Kanazawajō) and the nearby Kenrokuen (兼六園) / Seisonkaku Villa (成巽閣, Seisonkaku) .
- Consider visiting one or more of the nearby museums if possible:
- D.T. Suzuki Museum OR
- National Crafts Museum OR
- 21st Century Museum of Contemporary Art
- Optional: Head southwards to Myoryuji Temple + Nishi Chaya District.
- Optional: Head northwards to Higashi Chaya District (if not done for lunch).
- Retire in Kanazawa for the night. Be on the lookout for Kanazawa-specific food: Gold-leaf ice cream, oden, hanton rice
- Optional: have a stay at Yuwaku Onsen for at least one night for anime-related reasons. (Hanasaku Iroha)
Day 27: Ishikawa (Kanazawa cityside) / Gifu (Shirakawago, Takayama) [Friday, 8 Dec]
- Day trip to Shiwakawago and Takayama via Nohi bus (non-JR, ~1h). Grab the morning bus express bus to Shirakawago and explore the place in the morning. Experience early snowfall (?) there. Optional: visit Ainokura on the way towards Shirakawago.
- Take another express bus down to Takayama for lunch (~1h travel time).
- Explore what Takayama has to offer. Stroll along the old town near the bus terminal and visit the Takayama Jinya. If time permits, stroll along the Higashiyama Walking Course.
- Optional: pay a visit to Hida Folk Village.
- Return to Kanazawa via Hida Limited Express to Toyama Shinkansen to Kanazawa, OR take the same Nohi express bus directly back (non-JR).
- Retire at Kanazawa for the night. Last express bus from Takayama to Kanazawa is 1630, arrive at 1845. Alternatively, head northwards to Toyama via JR and transfer to Kanazawa.
Day 28: Ishikawa (Kanazawa cityside / outskirts) [Saturday, 9 Dec]
Side trip to Wakura Onsen / Nanao for anime-related sightseeing. (Insomanics after Class, Hanasaku Iroha)
- Zoom from Kanazawa up to Wakura Onsen/Nanao via Limited Express Noto Kagaribi. Do some sightseeing related to Insomanics after Class and Hanasaku Iroha.
- Do some train spotting with two anime along the Noto Railways. Stop at Nishigishi station for some sightseeing. (non-JR)
- Return to Kanazawa in the evening from Wakura Onsen via the sightseeing train Hanayomenoren [花嫁のれん, last train 1630).
- End the night at Kanazawa.
Spare day to do whatever I feel like doing OR reallocate this to another prefecture. Intentionally left blank for later planning
--------------
Tokyo (~6 days)
Specific thoughts while planning:
- Specific interest to target: anime/vtuber stuff, music (piano in particular), bookstores etc.
- This is the point in time I should go ham on souvenier purchase if I have not done so. I'll probably get an extra cardboard box or duffel bag to lug with me to the airport to store extra stuff.
- Would like to seek recommendation on where I should set my base for the 5~6 days here. For now I am planning to pit at Ginza, subject to availability and cost. My thought is that as long as its along the Yamanote line everything rolls I suppose.
- Hard pass on Golden Gai on the Shunjuku leg (I do not drink).
- There's way too many to list in terms of what I would like to do in Tokyo, but I have listed items that are of particular interest to me first within the available time frame. If you have strong opinions on specific locations do let me know.
- Zip from Kanazawa to Tokyo via the Hoririku Shinkansen in the morning (just north of two hours). (TBC : If I can optimize my schedule better, I can try squeezing two days here for a stop at Nozawa Onsen / Shiga Kogen (Nagano) for a short ski experience).
- Deposit luggage at one of the Ginza hotels (TBC: subject to cost; might swap for another location later on)
- Explore ('south') Tokyo with the remainder of the day.
- Marvel at the architecture that is the Tokyo Station and its surrounding.
- Visit the Imperial Palace.
- Head south towards the Mori Art Museum (closes 2200)
- End the night with a stop at Tokyo Tower (closes 2230).
Explore ('west') Tokyo, namely Shibuya, Shinjuku and Nakano.
- Start off with an early day visit to Meji Shrine / Yoyogi Park.
- Head up to Shinjuku. Spend the remainder of the morning and lunch exploring Kabukicho, Hanazono Shrine and Omoide Yokochō (ideally have lunch here). Also make a pit stop at Kinokuniya's flagship store at Shinjuku.
- Head northwards to Nakano Broadway and trawl for anime goods for several hours (closes ~1900)
- Head south down back to Shibuya and experience the crossing in peak night condition. Walk around and soak in the atmosphere. Optional: stop by the Ishibashi music store at Shibuya (closes 2000).
- Cap off the night and look at the night view at Shibuya Sky (closes 2230). Zip back to the hotel at Ginza.
- Kick off the day with a morning visit to Asakusa (i.e. Sensoji).
- Transit over to Tokyo Skytree to watch the Tokyo cityscape in the day.
- Trawl around Akibahara for the afternoon. (Animate, Sega claw machines, etc).
- Also stop by Ochanomizu for sightseeing (Suzume no Tojimari)
- Zip back to the hotel for the night. If time permits, stop by the two flagship music stores along Ginza: Yamaha Ginza and Yamano Ginza. Also, visit Itoya Ginza (stationary store).
EITHER take a day trip Kamakura, OR explore northern Tokyo (Ikebukuro)
Kamakura leg:
- Make a detour to Used Tyre Market Sagamihara Store to experience the retro vending machines. Then head southwards to Enoshima.
- Look at the giant Buddha statue and stroll along Hasedera.
- Take the Enoden to Enoshiima and explore the island.
- Take the JR back to Ginza and retire for the night.
- Visit Otome Road for otaku related stuffs.
- Trawl the usual suspects such as Bic Camera etc.
- Make a stop at the Mejiro Gardens.
- Visit the Waseda International House of Literature (The Haruki Murakami Library) at Waseda University.
Spare day to do whatever I feel like doing OR reallocate this to another prefecture. Intentionally left blank for later planning
Day 35: Tokyo Home [Saturday, 16 Dec]
- Contemplate life at the hotel, doing whatever I feel like for the morning and early afternoon. Bonus: have an early breakfast at Tsukiji Market in the morning if staying at Ginza.
- Clear any last minute administrative matter (if any), or do (very) last minute sightseeing/buying. Most likely limited to Ginza and Akibahara.
- Get a nice lunch omakase to cap it off if possible. (taking recommendations if anyone has one, ideally meat/beef centric instead of just sushi).
- Head off to Narita from Tokyo Station via NEX just after lunch at 1430 1530 to Narita, flight at 1830.
---------------------
If you're still reading up to this point, here's my own personal ramblings/thoughts on JR pass usage:
I have thought of two ways of doing this for the first 21 days:
a. easy-mode : just get 21 days JR global pass before the price hike at 60450 yen, OR b. hard-mode: get a 7 day JR global pass (to cover the NEX fees, the basic fee on the Sunrise Seto to Shikoku, as well as limited express trains within Shikoku) (29650) + 5 days for JR Okayama Hiroshima Yamaguchi Area Pass (15000) + 4 days for JR Sanin Okayama Area Pass + 5 days for JR Kansai Wide Area Pass (10000) for a total of 59230.
The initial conclusion was to go with option A since that reduces the administrative burden, but I realized the individual passes do have its own perk which truimphs over the global JR pass. For instance, the Sanin Okayama Area Pass provides a (minor) discount for the Adachi Museum of Art; the Kansai Wide Pass covers the Kyotango route between Kinosaki Onsen and Amanohashidate which the global JR pass does not cover, JR Okayama Hiroshima Yamaguchi Area Pass covers JR buses within Hiroshima for free, therefore I am inclined to go with the hell option (option B) as it stands.
For the remaining 14 days, I could also get the global 14 day JR pass at 47250 yen but it is not worth it at all, because I will be relying largely on Kintetsu for the Osaka/Kyoto/Nara/Mie leg which the JR pass most certainly does not cover.
- For the Osaka/Nara/Mie/Kyoto leg, I intend to make good use of a mix of both local metro and the Kintetsu rail pass for 5 days (4900). If I do exploit Kintetsu's limited express train to its fullest, I should be able to save money by buying the pass. The Osaka Amazing Pass at 2600yen a day does not make financial sense for me this time round, given how little I am exploring within Osaka.
- For the Osaka Kanazawa, Shirakawago and Takayama leg, the preferred pass of choice is the Takayama-Hokuriku Area Tourist Pass over the global JR pass, in large part because this pass fully absorbs the Nohi highway bus fees (which can rack up quite a lot at ~8000yen for a return trip between Kanazawa and Shirakawago/Takayama). Also this absorbs the Thunderbird fee. One major issue with my current plan is that it does not cover Wakura Onsen nor the sightseeing train.
- For the final Kanazawa Tokyo leg, the preferred choice is the Horuriku Arch Pass that covers the direct Shinkansen back to Tokyo, and the NEX fees to Narita when I depart from Tokyo. Will only break even with the pass at best unless I make a stop at Nagano.
Through the hodge-podge of multiple area passes, it works out to around 102890 yen for the whole trip of 35 days, contrast with 107700 yen for a 21 + 14 global JR pass. While there's a minor cost saving doing the hard way which sweetens the deal, the additional minor perks associated with the area passes sells it for me, as I would had to pay more out of pocket to cover non-JR pass buses/rails and such which would add up to much greater cost than I would had anticipated. Also, if I did this trip post-price hike in October, the calculus becomes a no-brainer: avoid the global JR pass like the plague.
-----
Thank you very much for your opinions, suggestions and advice in advance!
2023.06.09 11:49 FXMacroGuy ECB Crib Sheet: Every ECB comment since their last meeting summarised
👉 ECB meeting next week 👉 Here's a chronological summary of every ECB speaker's comments since their last meeting in May 👉 A PDF version will be available on the weekend (see links in bio) 👉 Here we go...
Schnabel (Neutral) 2023-6-7 T-2: We have more ground to cover on rates, will depend on data how much more rates will have to increase, we need to see convincing evidence that inflation returns to our 2% target in a sustained and timely manner, a peak in underlying inflration would not be enough to declare victory, the impact of our policy on inflation is expected to peak in 2024, there is great uncertainty over the strength and speed of this process.
Knot (Hawk) 2023-6-7 T-2: The outlook for policy rates after July is unclear, will become more data-dependent after rate hikes in June and July, should not hesitate to keep raising rates if inflation stays high, peak interest rates will have to be maintained for a long time to keep inflation in check, upward risks to inflation are expected to dominate in years to come, prolonged tightening might still lead to stress in financial markets, inflation expectations in markets seem optimistic.
Makhlouf (n/a) 2023-6-7 T-2: Once we've reached a peak on rates they are likely to stay there for a while, not going to say how long that will be, rate hikes beyond summer would be a question of judgement, I'd be interested how the people pricing rate cuts by the end of the year are coming to that conclusion.
Knot (Hawk) 2023-6-6 T-3: Will keep tightening policy until we see inflation returning to 2% but this must be done step-by-step, inflation is still way too high but the worst is behind us, seeing first signs that policy tightening is being transmitted to the real economy.
Nagel (Hawk) 2023-6-5 T-4: Several more rate hikes are still necessary, not certain rates will peak this summer, rates must be held until there is no doubt inflation is returning to 2% in the near term, underlying price pressures remain far too high and show little signs of abating, cautiously optimistic about German growth prospects over the rest of the year.
Lagarde (Dove) 2023-6-5 T-4: No clear evidence that underlying inflation has peaked, price pressures remain strong, our rate hikes are being transmitted forcefully to financing conditions, full effects of our monetary policy measures are starting to materialize, it is very likely we will stop all reinvestments in APP.
Vujcic (n/a) 2023-6-5 T-4: Inflation risks are tilted to the upside, wage pressures are still very lively.
Makhlouf (n/a) 2023-6-2 T-7: Likely to see another rate hike at the next meeting, beyond probable hikes in June and July the picture is a lot less clear, inflation fall is very welcome but not definitive and underlying pressures are still quite strong.
Panetta (n/a) 2023-6-2 T-7: We have not reached the end of the rate hike cycle but we aren't far away from it, inflation is too high but there is no reason to worry, now is not the time to be too hasty raising rates, the debate will soon shift from level of interest rates to that of maintaining them over time, cannot rule out a technical recession in the Eurozone, committed to getting inflation back to 2% target.
Vasle (n/a) 2023-6-2 T-7: More rate hikes needed to get inflation to 2% target, core inflation remains high and persistent.
Rehn (Neutral) 2023-6-1 T-8: The monetary policy journey is not over yet, core inflation must slow before mulling easing, the inflation outlook continues to be too high for too long, a lasting rise in inflation expectations is an upside risk to inflation, the lags and the strength of policy transmission to the real economy remain uncertain.
Villeroy (Neutral) 2023-6-1 T-8: Upcoming rate hikes will be marginal, rate hikes are beginning to have an impact on inflation, we will bring inflation back to 2% by 2025.
Kazaks (Hawk) 2023-6-1 T-8: It is hard to say where interest rates will peak but rates will stay at their peak for a while.
De Guindos (Dove) 2023-6-1 T-8: A big part of our journey to raise rates has been done but there is still some way to go, recent inflation data are positive but still far from target.
Lagarde (Dove) 2023-6-1 T-8: We need to continue with rate hikes until we are sufficiently confident that inflation is on track to return to 2% in a timely manner, we cannot say that we are satisfied with the inflation outlook, a period of catch-up wage growth need not cause unduly persistent inflation over time, rate hikes are already feeding forcefully into bank lending conditions.
Villeroy (Neutral) 2023-5-31 T-9: It is quite likely that inflation has passed its peak in France, perseverance counts for more than speed regarding monetary policy, will bring inflation down to 2% between now and 2025, markets are absorbing QT smoothly and positively.
Müller (Hawk) 2023-5-31 T-9: Very likely that we will hike by 25 bps more than once, probably too optimistic to see rate cuts in early 2024, core inflation shows no signs of slowing yet.
De Guindos (Dove) 2023-5-31 T-9: Inflation data today and yesterday has been positive, victory over inflation is not there yet but the trajectory is correct.
Visco (Dove) 2023-5-31 T-9: Must proceed with the correct degree of graduality now that rates are in restrictive territory, longer-term inflation expectations remain in line with the definition of price stability.
Centeno (n/a) 2023-5-31 T-9: Spain's CPI reading shows that Europe's inflation is easing, doesn't see a risk of monetary policy overshooting, reversal of supply shock should slow inflation.
Simkus (Hawk) 2023-5-30 T-10: Expects a 25 bps rate hike in June and July, September is too early to say.
De Cos (Dove) 2023-5-29 T-11: Policy tightening is well underway but based on the information currently available to us we have some way to go, interest rates will have to remain in restrictive territory for an extended period of time.
Wunsch (Neutral) 2023-5-27 T-13: We hiked 400 bps and we might have to do more, we have more ground to cover, real rates are still quite low, if fiscal policy remains supportive then monetary policy will have to do more to get inflation under control.
Lane (n/a) 2023-5-26 T-14: The ECB shouldn't predict where rate hikes will end, no sense of certainty on the terminal rate, uncertainty in inflation dynamics is high, food inflation will reverse later this year, energy price fall will feed into core prices but timeframe is uncertain, there is some upside risks to wage growth.
Makhlouf (n/a) 2023-5-26 T-14: My lead option is to hike rates in June and July, open about subsequent decisions, haven't seen wage settlements that raise concerns on a Eurozone level, very relaxed about market pricing of rates.
Vujcic (n/a) 2023-5-26 T-14: It is questionable if we will be able to get to 2% inflation in the next two years, inflation momentum is still persistent.
Villeroy (Neutral) 2023-5-25 T-15: Rates should peak in the next three meetings, rates are clearly in restrictive territory, we have completed most of the rate hike journey, monitoring the passthrough of "massive" past rate hikes.
Knot (Hawk) 2023-5-25 T-15: We need at least two more rate hikes, both should be 25 bps each, totally open-minded on what happens with rates after summer, should stay put for a significant period of time, market pricing of rate cuts is overly optimistic, headline inflation peak behind us but not sure if at peak of underlying inflation, most of the impact of the ECB's tightening is still in the pipeline.
De Guindos (Dove) 2023-5-25 T-15: Wages pose upside risk to inflation outlook, fiscal policy is an important factor for inflation, governments should roll back related support measures as the energy crisis fades, banking tensions add to downside inflation risks.
Panetta (n/a) 2023-5-24 T-16: The GC is to decide in October whether to launch preparation phase to develop and test a digital Euro, the ECB would issue a digital Euro but not distribute it.
Nagel (Hawk) 2023-5-23 T-17: Several more rate hikes are needed to tame inflation, will need to maintain peak rate for a sufficiently long time until inflation has fallen sustainably.
De Guindos (Dove) 2023-5-23 T-17: The non-bank financial sector remains particularly exposed to asset price corrections and credit risk should corporate sector fundamentals deteriorate substantially, more concerned about conflict between monetary and fiscal policy than about financial instability.
Lagarde (Dove) 2023-5-23 T-17: Rate are yet to reach sufficiently restrictive levels, rates are to stay restrictive as long as necessary.
Villeroy (Neutral) 2023-5-22 T-18: The primary question today is not how much further to hike rates but how large the pass-through is of what is already in the pipe, expects that we will be at the terminal rate not later than September, how long we maintain rates is now more important than the precise terminal level, we can hike or pause at the next three meetings, in the current tightening cycle the lag in policy transmission may be at the upper end of 1-2 year range.
De Cos (Dove) 2023-5-22 T-18: The ECB still has some way to go to tight monetary policy, interest rates will have to remain in restrictive territory for extended periods to achieve inflation goal.
Lane (n/a) 2023-5-22 T-18: The markets believe that inflation will come back to 2% in the foreseeable future.
Lagarde (Dove) 2023-5-21 T-19: We are not done yet, we are not pausing based on the information I have today, the inflation outlook is too high for too long, we have covered a large chunk of the journey towards taming inflation and bringing it back to our target, so many things can go wrong that we cannot give forward guidance.
Schnabel (Neutral) 2023-5-19 T-21: The ECB can continue to do whatever is needed to bring inflation back to 2% in a timely manner, wage growth has picked up substantially and as a result there are concerns about second-round effects on inflation, financial stability is a precondition for price stability and vice versa, we have a clear mandate of price stability, inflation expectations are stubbornly high, it seems fiscal policy is too expansionary.
Lagarde (Dove) 2023-5-19 T-21: ECB will be courageous to take needed decisions to bring inflation back to 2%, we are heading towards more delicate decisions going forward, we should not trade off price stability and financial stability, will do whatever is necessary to deliver price stability.
De Guindos (Dove) 2023-5-18 T-22: There is still scope to keep raising rates but most of the tightening has already been done, does not know what the end point is going to be.
Rehn (Neutral) 2023-5-17 T-23: Need to see core CPI slow substantially.
De Cos (Dove) 2023-5-17 T-23: The ECB is getting near the end of its tightening cycle, transmission of monetary policy remains strong.
De Guindos (Dove) 2023-5-17 T-23: Concerns are mounting about the outlook for commercial real estate loans, Eurozone banks may benefit less from higher rates than expected.
Holzmann (Hawk) 2023-5-16 T-24: We need to go beyond a 4% interest rate to fight inflation, would have preferred a 50 bps hike at the May meeting, core inflation is unlikely to slow much more this year, hikes above 25 bps are probably not possible now, we shouldn't pause hikes until we reach 4%.
Makhlouf (n/a) 2023-5-16 T-24: We have lost a degree of trust, that affects what we should be doing with our decision making, we should do more in terms of thinking about the audience we're talking to.
De Guindos (Dove) 2023-5-14 T-26: We have now entered the home stretch of our monetary policy tightening path, we are returning to normalcy with 25 bps steps.
Kazimir (n/a) 2023-5-14 T-26: The ECB may need to keep raising rates longer than previously thought, convinced there are more meetings ahead where we will decide on raising rates, would also be satisfied with a 50 bps hike but 25 bps is a return to normal, the key point is that core inflation is still creeping up and that's proof we haven't solved the problem yet.
Nagel (Hawk) 2023-5-12 T-28: Latest rate hike won't be the last, inflation is still too high and too strong, need to be sure that the inflation wave ends.
Nagel (Hawk) 2023-5-11 T-29: Meeting-by-meeting approach is the right path for the ECB, nothing is off the table for the September meeting, moving closer to restrictive territory but not there yet, need at least a year-and-a-half to see core inflation closer to 2%.
De Cos (Dove) 2023-5-11 T-29: We are now closer to the final cycle of rate hikes.
De Guindos (Dove) 2023-5-11 T-29: There can be more rate hikes, how many depends on the data, rate decision had a very high consensus, don't believe anybody who names a terminal rate, markets can be wrong about terminal rates, inflation will undoubtedly fall, worried about core inflation and services, underlying inflation will fall too, we have to assess the impact of interest rate hikes on financing conditions.
Villeroy (Neutral) 2023-5-10 T-30: We have travelled most of the way on rate hikes, what's still lying ahead is "more marginal", it is the future impact of past rate hikes that should for the most part allow us to reach out objective within two years.
Nagel (Hawk) 2023-5-10 T-30: We are not done hiking yet, approaching the final stretch of rate hikes, still work to be done on core inflation, we are holding the course on monetary policy.
Lagarde (Dove) 2023-5-10 T-30: We still have more ground to cover in the fight against inflation, have to move in a very deliberate and decisive way, there are factors that can induce significant upside risks to the inflation outlook, have to be extremely attentive to potential risks and particularly wage increases.
Centeno (n/a) 2023-5-10 T-30: ECB rates to remain high for some time after rate peak, rates should start to come down some time in 2024, interest rate adjustment is still underway.
Sources (n/a) 2023-5-10 T-30: Bloomberg: some ECB members are saying a September hike may be needed.
Stournas (n/a) 2023-5-10 T-30: Barring any drastic changes rate hikes will be over this year, we are close to the end of the tightening cycle, cannot say how many more rate hikes are still needed, may possibly return to very low rates again but don't know that yet.
Schnabel (Neutral) 2023-5-9 T-31: No doubt that we will have to do more on inflation, rate cuts are highly unlikely for the foreseeable future.
Kazaks (Hawk) 2023-5-9 T-31: Rate-hiking may not be finished in July, doing too little remains the greater danger, bet on spring 2024 rate cuts is "significantly premature", not impossible for the ECB to hike or pause as the Fed cuts.
Nagel (Hawk) 2023-5-9 T-31: Interest rates should rise further, could have imagined a 50 bps hike at the last meeting but is okay with the 25 bps, the market is not always right about the ECB terminal rate.
Kazimir (n/a) 2023-5-9 T-31: Slowing hikes lets the ECB go higher for longer, there's plenty of ground to cover, according to available statistics the ECB will need to maintain raising rates for longer than expected, projections point to September as the earliest time to judge the effectiveness of measures and if inflation is moving towards the target.
Vasle (n/a) 2023-5-9 T-31: Inflation is becoming increasingly stubborn, our job on inflation is not yet complete, we need to see a change in core inflation, more rate hikes will be required, avoiding a recession is possible.
Vujcic (n/a) 2023-5-9 T-31: More rate hikes will be required to return inflation to target.
Knot (Hawk) 2023-5-8 T-32: Rate hikes are starting to have an impact but more will be needed, policy works with a certain delay so the biggest effects of what we've done so far are still in the pipeline, supported last week's 25 bps hike, could support further hikes above 5% if needed.
Lane (n/a) 2023-5-8 T-32: There is still a lot of momentum in food and core inflation.
Villeroy (Neutral) 2023-5-5 T-35: Favours smaller rate hikes, change in rate increase rhythm is an important signal, there will likely be several more hikes but we have done the essential, our goal is to win the fight against inflation without triggering a recession.
Müller (Hawk) 2023-5-5 T-35: It is prudent to allow previous hikes to make an impact.
Simkus (Hawk) 2023-5-5 T-35: Interest rates are not high enough and will need to be raised further, we will keep rates high for a sufficiently long time to get inflation back to 2%.
Visco (Dove) 2023-5-5 T-35: The peak of ECB interest rates may not be too far off, market's view of the terminal rate is "an important reference point" for the ECB, policy can only be moving towards higher rates, must proceed with caution, policy is being transmitted into the economy in an "energetic" way.
Lagarde (Dove) 2023-5-4 T-36: We know that we have more ground to cover, 25 bps hike had almost unanimous support, some suggested 50 bps and some said 25 bps but no one said no change, not making any commitment to rate cuts at any point, this is not a pause, very strong consensus around the path we chose, we are continuing the hiking process, this is a journey and we have not arrived yet, will continue to follow a data-dependent approach, reports from corporates regarding borrowing suggest that rates are restrictive, corporate demand for bank loans was "really, really down", price pressures remain strong, incoming information broadly supports medium-term outlook formed at the previous meeting, private domestic demand and consumption likely to remain weak, no longer says growth risks are to the downside.
Sources (n/a) 2023-5-4 T-36: Reuters: Some ECB policymakers see 2-3 rate hikes ahead, Holzmann was the lone holdout but didn't have a vote at the meeting, policymakers reached a deal on smaller hike in return for guidance for more hikes ahead and an APP wind down, policymakers don't see the need to sell APP bonds.
submitted by FXMacroGuy to investing [link] [comments]
Schnabel (Neutral) 2023-6-7 T-2: We have more ground to cover on rates, will depend on data how much more rates will have to increase, we need to see convincing evidence that inflation returns to our 2% target in a sustained and timely manner, a peak in underlying inflration would not be enough to declare victory, the impact of our policy on inflation is expected to peak in 2024, there is great uncertainty over the strength and speed of this process.
Knot (Hawk) 2023-6-7 T-2: The outlook for policy rates after July is unclear, will become more data-dependent after rate hikes in June and July, should not hesitate to keep raising rates if inflation stays high, peak interest rates will have to be maintained for a long time to keep inflation in check, upward risks to inflation are expected to dominate in years to come, prolonged tightening might still lead to stress in financial markets, inflation expectations in markets seem optimistic.
Makhlouf (n/a) 2023-6-7 T-2: Once we've reached a peak on rates they are likely to stay there for a while, not going to say how long that will be, rate hikes beyond summer would be a question of judgement, I'd be interested how the people pricing rate cuts by the end of the year are coming to that conclusion.
Knot (Hawk) 2023-6-6 T-3: Will keep tightening policy until we see inflation returning to 2% but this must be done step-by-step, inflation is still way too high but the worst is behind us, seeing first signs that policy tightening is being transmitted to the real economy.
Nagel (Hawk) 2023-6-5 T-4: Several more rate hikes are still necessary, not certain rates will peak this summer, rates must be held until there is no doubt inflation is returning to 2% in the near term, underlying price pressures remain far too high and show little signs of abating, cautiously optimistic about German growth prospects over the rest of the year.
Lagarde (Dove) 2023-6-5 T-4: No clear evidence that underlying inflation has peaked, price pressures remain strong, our rate hikes are being transmitted forcefully to financing conditions, full effects of our monetary policy measures are starting to materialize, it is very likely we will stop all reinvestments in APP.
Vujcic (n/a) 2023-6-5 T-4: Inflation risks are tilted to the upside, wage pressures are still very lively.
Makhlouf (n/a) 2023-6-2 T-7: Likely to see another rate hike at the next meeting, beyond probable hikes in June and July the picture is a lot less clear, inflation fall is very welcome but not definitive and underlying pressures are still quite strong.
Panetta (n/a) 2023-6-2 T-7: We have not reached the end of the rate hike cycle but we aren't far away from it, inflation is too high but there is no reason to worry, now is not the time to be too hasty raising rates, the debate will soon shift from level of interest rates to that of maintaining them over time, cannot rule out a technical recession in the Eurozone, committed to getting inflation back to 2% target.
Vasle (n/a) 2023-6-2 T-7: More rate hikes needed to get inflation to 2% target, core inflation remains high and persistent.
Rehn (Neutral) 2023-6-1 T-8: The monetary policy journey is not over yet, core inflation must slow before mulling easing, the inflation outlook continues to be too high for too long, a lasting rise in inflation expectations is an upside risk to inflation, the lags and the strength of policy transmission to the real economy remain uncertain.
Villeroy (Neutral) 2023-6-1 T-8: Upcoming rate hikes will be marginal, rate hikes are beginning to have an impact on inflation, we will bring inflation back to 2% by 2025.
Kazaks (Hawk) 2023-6-1 T-8: It is hard to say where interest rates will peak but rates will stay at their peak for a while.
De Guindos (Dove) 2023-6-1 T-8: A big part of our journey to raise rates has been done but there is still some way to go, recent inflation data are positive but still far from target.
Lagarde (Dove) 2023-6-1 T-8: We need to continue with rate hikes until we are sufficiently confident that inflation is on track to return to 2% in a timely manner, we cannot say that we are satisfied with the inflation outlook, a period of catch-up wage growth need not cause unduly persistent inflation over time, rate hikes are already feeding forcefully into bank lending conditions.
Villeroy (Neutral) 2023-5-31 T-9: It is quite likely that inflation has passed its peak in France, perseverance counts for more than speed regarding monetary policy, will bring inflation down to 2% between now and 2025, markets are absorbing QT smoothly and positively.
Müller (Hawk) 2023-5-31 T-9: Very likely that we will hike by 25 bps more than once, probably too optimistic to see rate cuts in early 2024, core inflation shows no signs of slowing yet.
De Guindos (Dove) 2023-5-31 T-9: Inflation data today and yesterday has been positive, victory over inflation is not there yet but the trajectory is correct.
Visco (Dove) 2023-5-31 T-9: Must proceed with the correct degree of graduality now that rates are in restrictive territory, longer-term inflation expectations remain in line with the definition of price stability.
Centeno (n/a) 2023-5-31 T-9: Spain's CPI reading shows that Europe's inflation is easing, doesn't see a risk of monetary policy overshooting, reversal of supply shock should slow inflation.
Simkus (Hawk) 2023-5-30 T-10: Expects a 25 bps rate hike in June and July, September is too early to say.
De Cos (Dove) 2023-5-29 T-11: Policy tightening is well underway but based on the information currently available to us we have some way to go, interest rates will have to remain in restrictive territory for an extended period of time.
Wunsch (Neutral) 2023-5-27 T-13: We hiked 400 bps and we might have to do more, we have more ground to cover, real rates are still quite low, if fiscal policy remains supportive then monetary policy will have to do more to get inflation under control.
Lane (n/a) 2023-5-26 T-14: The ECB shouldn't predict where rate hikes will end, no sense of certainty on the terminal rate, uncertainty in inflation dynamics is high, food inflation will reverse later this year, energy price fall will feed into core prices but timeframe is uncertain, there is some upside risks to wage growth.
Makhlouf (n/a) 2023-5-26 T-14: My lead option is to hike rates in June and July, open about subsequent decisions, haven't seen wage settlements that raise concerns on a Eurozone level, very relaxed about market pricing of rates.
Vujcic (n/a) 2023-5-26 T-14: It is questionable if we will be able to get to 2% inflation in the next two years, inflation momentum is still persistent.
Villeroy (Neutral) 2023-5-25 T-15: Rates should peak in the next three meetings, rates are clearly in restrictive territory, we have completed most of the rate hike journey, monitoring the passthrough of "massive" past rate hikes.
Knot (Hawk) 2023-5-25 T-15: We need at least two more rate hikes, both should be 25 bps each, totally open-minded on what happens with rates after summer, should stay put for a significant period of time, market pricing of rate cuts is overly optimistic, headline inflation peak behind us but not sure if at peak of underlying inflation, most of the impact of the ECB's tightening is still in the pipeline.
De Guindos (Dove) 2023-5-25 T-15: Wages pose upside risk to inflation outlook, fiscal policy is an important factor for inflation, governments should roll back related support measures as the energy crisis fades, banking tensions add to downside inflation risks.
Panetta (n/a) 2023-5-24 T-16: The GC is to decide in October whether to launch preparation phase to develop and test a digital Euro, the ECB would issue a digital Euro but not distribute it.
Nagel (Hawk) 2023-5-23 T-17: Several more rate hikes are needed to tame inflation, will need to maintain peak rate for a sufficiently long time until inflation has fallen sustainably.
De Guindos (Dove) 2023-5-23 T-17: The non-bank financial sector remains particularly exposed to asset price corrections and credit risk should corporate sector fundamentals deteriorate substantially, more concerned about conflict between monetary and fiscal policy than about financial instability.
Lagarde (Dove) 2023-5-23 T-17: Rate are yet to reach sufficiently restrictive levels, rates are to stay restrictive as long as necessary.
Villeroy (Neutral) 2023-5-22 T-18: The primary question today is not how much further to hike rates but how large the pass-through is of what is already in the pipe, expects that we will be at the terminal rate not later than September, how long we maintain rates is now more important than the precise terminal level, we can hike or pause at the next three meetings, in the current tightening cycle the lag in policy transmission may be at the upper end of 1-2 year range.
De Cos (Dove) 2023-5-22 T-18: The ECB still has some way to go to tight monetary policy, interest rates will have to remain in restrictive territory for extended periods to achieve inflation goal.
Lane (n/a) 2023-5-22 T-18: The markets believe that inflation will come back to 2% in the foreseeable future.
Lagarde (Dove) 2023-5-21 T-19: We are not done yet, we are not pausing based on the information I have today, the inflation outlook is too high for too long, we have covered a large chunk of the journey towards taming inflation and bringing it back to our target, so many things can go wrong that we cannot give forward guidance.
Schnabel (Neutral) 2023-5-19 T-21: The ECB can continue to do whatever is needed to bring inflation back to 2% in a timely manner, wage growth has picked up substantially and as a result there are concerns about second-round effects on inflation, financial stability is a precondition for price stability and vice versa, we have a clear mandate of price stability, inflation expectations are stubbornly high, it seems fiscal policy is too expansionary.
Lagarde (Dove) 2023-5-19 T-21: ECB will be courageous to take needed decisions to bring inflation back to 2%, we are heading towards more delicate decisions going forward, we should not trade off price stability and financial stability, will do whatever is necessary to deliver price stability.
De Guindos (Dove) 2023-5-18 T-22: There is still scope to keep raising rates but most of the tightening has already been done, does not know what the end point is going to be.
Rehn (Neutral) 2023-5-17 T-23: Need to see core CPI slow substantially.
De Cos (Dove) 2023-5-17 T-23: The ECB is getting near the end of its tightening cycle, transmission of monetary policy remains strong.
De Guindos (Dove) 2023-5-17 T-23: Concerns are mounting about the outlook for commercial real estate loans, Eurozone banks may benefit less from higher rates than expected.
Holzmann (Hawk) 2023-5-16 T-24: We need to go beyond a 4% interest rate to fight inflation, would have preferred a 50 bps hike at the May meeting, core inflation is unlikely to slow much more this year, hikes above 25 bps are probably not possible now, we shouldn't pause hikes until we reach 4%.
Makhlouf (n/a) 2023-5-16 T-24: We have lost a degree of trust, that affects what we should be doing with our decision making, we should do more in terms of thinking about the audience we're talking to.
De Guindos (Dove) 2023-5-14 T-26: We have now entered the home stretch of our monetary policy tightening path, we are returning to normalcy with 25 bps steps.
Kazimir (n/a) 2023-5-14 T-26: The ECB may need to keep raising rates longer than previously thought, convinced there are more meetings ahead where we will decide on raising rates, would also be satisfied with a 50 bps hike but 25 bps is a return to normal, the key point is that core inflation is still creeping up and that's proof we haven't solved the problem yet.
Nagel (Hawk) 2023-5-12 T-28: Latest rate hike won't be the last, inflation is still too high and too strong, need to be sure that the inflation wave ends.
Nagel (Hawk) 2023-5-11 T-29: Meeting-by-meeting approach is the right path for the ECB, nothing is off the table for the September meeting, moving closer to restrictive territory but not there yet, need at least a year-and-a-half to see core inflation closer to 2%.
De Cos (Dove) 2023-5-11 T-29: We are now closer to the final cycle of rate hikes.
De Guindos (Dove) 2023-5-11 T-29: There can be more rate hikes, how many depends on the data, rate decision had a very high consensus, don't believe anybody who names a terminal rate, markets can be wrong about terminal rates, inflation will undoubtedly fall, worried about core inflation and services, underlying inflation will fall too, we have to assess the impact of interest rate hikes on financing conditions.
Villeroy (Neutral) 2023-5-10 T-30: We have travelled most of the way on rate hikes, what's still lying ahead is "more marginal", it is the future impact of past rate hikes that should for the most part allow us to reach out objective within two years.
Nagel (Hawk) 2023-5-10 T-30: We are not done hiking yet, approaching the final stretch of rate hikes, still work to be done on core inflation, we are holding the course on monetary policy.
Lagarde (Dove) 2023-5-10 T-30: We still have more ground to cover in the fight against inflation, have to move in a very deliberate and decisive way, there are factors that can induce significant upside risks to the inflation outlook, have to be extremely attentive to potential risks and particularly wage increases.
Centeno (n/a) 2023-5-10 T-30: ECB rates to remain high for some time after rate peak, rates should start to come down some time in 2024, interest rate adjustment is still underway.
Sources (n/a) 2023-5-10 T-30: Bloomberg: some ECB members are saying a September hike may be needed.
Stournas (n/a) 2023-5-10 T-30: Barring any drastic changes rate hikes will be over this year, we are close to the end of the tightening cycle, cannot say how many more rate hikes are still needed, may possibly return to very low rates again but don't know that yet.
Schnabel (Neutral) 2023-5-9 T-31: No doubt that we will have to do more on inflation, rate cuts are highly unlikely for the foreseeable future.
Kazaks (Hawk) 2023-5-9 T-31: Rate-hiking may not be finished in July, doing too little remains the greater danger, bet on spring 2024 rate cuts is "significantly premature", not impossible for the ECB to hike or pause as the Fed cuts.
Nagel (Hawk) 2023-5-9 T-31: Interest rates should rise further, could have imagined a 50 bps hike at the last meeting but is okay with the 25 bps, the market is not always right about the ECB terminal rate.
Kazimir (n/a) 2023-5-9 T-31: Slowing hikes lets the ECB go higher for longer, there's plenty of ground to cover, according to available statistics the ECB will need to maintain raising rates for longer than expected, projections point to September as the earliest time to judge the effectiveness of measures and if inflation is moving towards the target.
Vasle (n/a) 2023-5-9 T-31: Inflation is becoming increasingly stubborn, our job on inflation is not yet complete, we need to see a change in core inflation, more rate hikes will be required, avoiding a recession is possible.
Vujcic (n/a) 2023-5-9 T-31: More rate hikes will be required to return inflation to target.
Knot (Hawk) 2023-5-8 T-32: Rate hikes are starting to have an impact but more will be needed, policy works with a certain delay so the biggest effects of what we've done so far are still in the pipeline, supported last week's 25 bps hike, could support further hikes above 5% if needed.
Lane (n/a) 2023-5-8 T-32: There is still a lot of momentum in food and core inflation.
Villeroy (Neutral) 2023-5-5 T-35: Favours smaller rate hikes, change in rate increase rhythm is an important signal, there will likely be several more hikes but we have done the essential, our goal is to win the fight against inflation without triggering a recession.
Müller (Hawk) 2023-5-5 T-35: It is prudent to allow previous hikes to make an impact.
Simkus (Hawk) 2023-5-5 T-35: Interest rates are not high enough and will need to be raised further, we will keep rates high for a sufficiently long time to get inflation back to 2%.
Visco (Dove) 2023-5-5 T-35: The peak of ECB interest rates may not be too far off, market's view of the terminal rate is "an important reference point" for the ECB, policy can only be moving towards higher rates, must proceed with caution, policy is being transmitted into the economy in an "energetic" way.
Lagarde (Dove) 2023-5-4 T-36: We know that we have more ground to cover, 25 bps hike had almost unanimous support, some suggested 50 bps and some said 25 bps but no one said no change, not making any commitment to rate cuts at any point, this is not a pause, very strong consensus around the path we chose, we are continuing the hiking process, this is a journey and we have not arrived yet, will continue to follow a data-dependent approach, reports from corporates regarding borrowing suggest that rates are restrictive, corporate demand for bank loans was "really, really down", price pressures remain strong, incoming information broadly supports medium-term outlook formed at the previous meeting, private domestic demand and consumption likely to remain weak, no longer says growth risks are to the downside.
Sources (n/a) 2023-5-4 T-36: Reuters: Some ECB policymakers see 2-3 rate hikes ahead, Holzmann was the lone holdout but didn't have a vote at the meeting, policymakers reached a deal on smaller hike in return for guidance for more hikes ahead and an APP wind down, policymakers don't see the need to sell APP bonds.
2023.06.09 06:03 InsidePreference3812 Next year
I don’t want to go to high school. It’s going to be just like middle and elementary it’s the same people every day. No one likes me I have a reputation of smelling and being fat and ugly and a “ fake ass bitch “ I don’t want to go to see the boys i conferenced my feelings to and they laughed with there friends. I already know I’m not gonna make swim team it was a squid idea to even think about it I suck at swimming at a pool and I’m afraid of the deep end I hate school I was bullied all of this year and had know freinds in 5/6/7 I peaked in 3 and 4 grade I wish I stoped when I was ahead because being over that peak sucks I was skinny then my fat ass couldn’t stop eating 247 pounds 14 years old and 247 pounds. All the pretty girls at my school are all under 150 I don’t want to go get bullied by upper class men and my best friend of 10 year would rather be with actually anyone else I don’t want to go I know what people say about me they act like I can’t hear them calling me ugly and fat and dum and wired and fake. I don’t even want to be seen in public 99.99.999% of the time I don’t like the people in my friend group except 2 people everyone else do things that make us all look like furrrys i can’t do it for 4 more years I’m going to lose atlesst 120 pounds this summer at any means necessary. I’m not going to allow myself to be bullied anymore I’m not going to eat till I’m 127. I’m done feeling like a cow in every room and being with people who make me uncomfortable.
submitted by InsidePreference3812 to Rants [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 05:28 cannonfunk [FOR SALE] Losing interest in vinyl & out of work due to the union strike - buy my records before they're sold elsewhere! SEALED: Rock, jazz, funk, soul, indie, rap, country, etc.
I've been collecting vinyl for well over a decade, but as I've gotten older my priorities & interests have shifted a bit. Additionally, the film industry strike has affected my income, so I figured that now is as good a time as any to start passing on my music to someone else.
I plan on keeping the core of my collection for now, but here's a bunch of stuff I either never got around to listening to, or don't see myself listening to much in the future. By the end of this month I plan on making another post with used vinyl, but that requires a little more work.
Shipping is...
submitted by cannonfunk to VinylCollectors [link] [comments]
I plan on keeping the core of my collection for now, but here's a bunch of stuff I either never got around to listening to, or don't see myself listening to much in the future. By the end of this month I plan on making another post with used vinyl, but that requires a little more work.
Shipping is...
- $5 for a 1xLP
- $6 for 2-3
- or $7 flat for 4+
ALL LP's ARE SEALED
M/M unless otherwise noted
Jazz/Soul/Funk/Hip Hop- James Brown - Get On The Good Foot (2xLP) - $22
- James Brown - Soul On Top - $22
- Prince - Sign 'O The Times (4xLP box set) - $35
- Ornette Coleman - Genesis Of Genius: The Contemporary Albums (deluxe 2xLP box set) - $50
- Floating Points & Pharoah Sanders – Promises (marbled indie exclusive) - $22
- Arica - Heaven (limited to 500) - $22
- Pharoah Sanders - Karma (audiophile Acoustic Sounds series) - $31
- Alice Coltrane - Ptah The El Daoud - $25
- Childish Gambino - Awaken, My Love (blue Walmart exclusive) - $25
- The Bogie Band ft. Joe Russo - The Prophets In The City - $20
- Otis Redding - Pain In My Heart (MOV pressing) - $16
- Marvin Gaye - Dream Of A Lifetime (numbered blue MOV pressing) - $15
- Sly & The Family Stone - Original Album Classics (5xLP discography box set) - $85
- Otis Redding - The Definitive Studio Album Collection (7xLP box set) - $100
- Kendrick Lamar - Good Kid, M.A.A.d City (2xLP clear black w/ alt cover) - $32
- Various Artists - Space Jam OST (2xLP red/yellow vinyl) - $22
- The Rolling Stones - Goats Head Soup (clear 2xLP, alt cover) - $30
- The Rolling Stones - Aftermath (limited violet vinyl) - $40
- Neil Young - Homegrown - $14
- Various Artists - Glastonbury Fayre Festival (3xLP colored vinyl w/ extras) - $55 - Never played, but never sealed - sleeve is closer to EX/VG++ due to nature of packaging, which is pretty extravagant.
- The Who - Odds & Sods (2xLP red & yellow RSD release) - $26
- Bill Wyman - Bill Wyman - $10
- David Bowie - Diamond Dogs (limited red vinyl) - $36
- David Bowie - Low (limited orange vinyl) - $20
- Shuggie Otis - Here Comes Shuggie Otis (numbered orange/gold MOV pressing) - $20
- Eric Clapton - 461 Ocean Boulevard (modern pressing, edition unknown) - $13
- Fleetwood Mac - Mr. Wonderful (MOV pressing) - $18
- Julee Cruise - The Voice of Love (deluxe 2xLP) - $35
- Various Artists Twin Peaks OST (limited green vinyl) - $64
- Various Artists - Gary Crowley's Lost 80's Vol. 2 (2xLP clear vinyl) - $20
- Cleaners From Venus - A Dawn Chorus: Early Cleaners And Beyond 1967-1985 - $15
- New Musik - From A To B (numbered yellow MOV 2xLP) - $24
- New Musik - Warp (numbered red MOV 2xLP) - $28
- New Musik - Anywhere (numbered blue MOV 2xLP) - $28
- Oingo Boingo - Boingo (numbered smokey MOV 2xLP) - $43
- Nirvana - In Utero (45 3xLP 20th anniversary) - $165
- Type O Negative - October Rust (2xLP green/black vinyl) - $65 - sharp sealed sleeve, but couple light splits on top edge
- Faith No More - Album Of The Year (MOV pressing) - $19
- Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks - Sparkle Hard - $15 - one minor corner ding
- Quilting - Quilting - $13
- Hooverphonic - Their Ultimate Collection (silver vinyl) - $15
- The White Stripes - Elephant (2xLP EU press) - $25
- Lorde - Pure Heroine - $26
- John Lennon - Lennon (9xLP box set) - $85
- Johnny Cash - With His Hot And Blue Guitar! (blue/orange vinyl, includes fanzine) - $20
- Willie Nelson & Bobbie Nelson - Willie’s Stash, Vol. 1: December Day (2xLP white numbered MOV pressing) - $16
- Soundtrack - La La Land - $13 - A couple light crease marks on sleeve
2023.06.09 05:08 Darthgusss Entry level Wildland Firefighter position in Washington state
I hope this is allowed on this sub and apologies if it's not.
We're looking for those interested in starting a career as a Wildland Firefighter in the state of Washington.
We currently have entry level Wildland Firefighter positions open for the 23' wildland season in the PNW. A little bit more about this job:
We deploy our units to major wildland fire incidents across the country.
-During peak season(May-September) were on call 10 hours a day/7 days a week. As long as you're within a two hour call back time to our station(meaning you can be at home or anywhere within a 2 hour call back time) . We train once a week to keep sharp.
If you're interested please DM me as there is a process to applying. We're looking to fill spots quickly as summer is around the corner.
Please contact Gustavo Rivera at [email protected] or 8186331030 for more information.
submitted by Darthgusss to SeattleWA [link] [comments]
We're looking for those interested in starting a career as a Wildland Firefighter in the state of Washington.
We currently have entry level Wildland Firefighter positions open for the 23' wildland season in the PNW. A little bit more about this job:
We deploy our units to major wildland fire incidents across the country.
-During peak season(May-September) were on call 10 hours a day/7 days a week. As long as you're within a two hour call back time to our station(meaning you can be at home or anywhere within a 2 hour call back time) . We train once a week to keep sharp.
- When called to a fire, you're on the clock the moment you leave your house. Most assignment can go from 2 weeks to a month(a month is rare but probable if you're willing to stay out that long) depending on the severity of the fire. On a fire you're working anywhere from 14-16 hours a day(some 24 hour shifts when it's really kicking)
- Hotels and per diem are provided when on assignment
- We have great benefits packages that include great insurance, PTO, 401k, advanced training stipend(EMT courses provided by our company whe you're with us for a certain amount of time) and boot stipend.
If you're interested please DM me as there is a process to applying. We're looking to fill spots quickly as summer is around the corner.
Please contact Gustavo Rivera at [email protected] or 8186331030 for more information.
2023.06.09 04:32 Metal_Florida test post
Please note that the ticket links are usually for general admission; for VIP tickets, if available, you may have to go to the band's website.
Friday, Jun 9, 2023
Saturday, Jun 10, 2023
Sunday, Jun 11, 2023
Monday, Jun 12, 2023
Tuesday, Jun 13, 2023
Wednesday, Jun 14, 2023
Thursday, Jun 15, 2023
Friday, Jun 16, 2023
Saturday, Jun 17, 2023
Sunday, Jun 18, 2023
Wednesday, Jun 21, 2023
Thursday, Jun 22, 2023
Friday, Jun 23, 2023
Saturday, Jun 24, 2023
Sunday, Jun 25, 2023
Monday, June 26, 2023
Tuesday, Jun 27, 2023
Wednesday, Jun 28, 2023
Thursday, Jun 29, 2023
Saturday, Jul 1, 2023
Sunday, Jul 2, 2023
Thursday, Jul 6, 2023
Friday, Jul 7, 2023
Saturday, Jul 8, 2023
Sunday, Jul 9, 2023
Monday, Jul 10, 2023
Tuesday, Jul 11, 2023
Wednesday, Jul 12, 2023
Thursday, Jul 13, 2023
Friday, Jul 14, 2023
Saturday, Jul 15, 2023
Monday, Jul 17, 2023
Tuesday, Jul 18, 2023
Friday, Jul 21, 2023
Saturday, Jul 22, 2023
Sunday, Jul 23, 2023
Tuesday, Jul 25, 2023
Thursday, Jul 27, 2023
Friday, Jul 28, 2023
Saturday, Jul 29, 2023
Sunday, Jul 30, 2023
Thursday, Aug 3, 2023
Saturday, Aug 5, 2023
Sunday, Aug 6, 2023
Wednesday, Aug 9, 2023
Friday, Aug 11, 2023
Sunday, Aug 13, 2023
Wednesday, Aug 16, 2023
Saturday, Aug 19, 2023
Sunday, Aug 20, 2023
Tuesday, Aug 22, 2023
Wednesday, Aug 23, 2023
Thursday, Aug 24, 2023
Saturday, Aug 26, 2023
Wednesday, Aug 30, 2023
Thursday, Aug 31, 2023
Saturday, Sep 2, 2023
Sunday, Sep 3, 2023
Tuesday, Sep 5, 2023
Wednesday, Sep 6, 2023
Friday, Sep 8, 2023
Saturday, Sep 9, 2023
Sunday, Sep 10, 2023
Tuesday, Sep 12, 2023
Wednesday, Sep 13, 2023
Friday, Sep 15, 2023
Saturday, Sep 16, 2023
Sunday, Sep 17, 2023
Tuesday, Sep 19, 2023
Thursday, Sep 21, 2023
Friday, Sep 22, 2023
Saturday, Sep 23, 2023
Sunday, Sep 24, 2023
Tuesday, Sep 26, 2023
Friday, Sep 29, 2023
Saturday, Sep 30, 2023
Thursday, Oct 5-7, 2023
Tuesday, Oct 10, 2023
Wednesday, Oct 11, 2023
Thursday, Oct 12, 2023
Saturday, Oct 14, 2023
Sunday, Oct 15, 2023
Tuesday, Oct 17, 2023
Wednesday, Oct 18, 2023
Friday, Oct 27-29, 2023
Tuesday, Nov 7, 2023
Wednesday, Nov 8, 2023
Friday, Jan 24, 2024
submitted by Metal_Florida to floridarockcommunity [link] [comments]
Friday, Jun 9, 2023
| Grass is Dead, The Coppertones | Underbelly - Jacksonville |
|---|
| Halo Scars, Mind Virus, Cypher Machine, Re-Birth | Brass Mug - Tampa |
|---|---|
| Maul, Tombstoner, Plasmodulated | Conduit - Winter Park |
| Downswing, Falsifier, Bottomfeeders | Manna Tea & Kava Bar - Sarasota |
| My Children My Bride, Extortionist, No Cure | Conduit - Winter Park |
|---|---|
| Bury Your Dead, Thirst, Edict | Tipsy Tiki - Fort Pierce |
| Maul, Tombstoner | Brass Mug - Tampa |
|---|---|
| Spotlights, Skyliner, The Darling Fire | Jack Rabbits - Jacksonville |
| Halocene, Lauren Babic, Alphamega | Hooch & Hive - Tampa |
|---|
| Drain, Drug Church, Magnitude, Gel | Brass Mug - Tampa |
|---|---|
| Halocene, Lauren Babic, Alphamega | Level 13 - Orlando |
| The Convalescence, Summoner's Circle | Jack Rabbits - Jacksonville |
| pulses., With Sails Ahead, I Met A Yeti | Will's Pub - Orlando |
| Halocene, Lauren Babic, Alphamega | Jack Rabbits - Jacksonville |
|---|
| Roxx, Re-Birth, Cyber Machine, Haloscars | Conduit - Winter Park |
|---|---|
| Hollow Leg, Clamfight, Moat Cobra | Will's Pub - Orlando |
| Every Avenue, Makeout, Say We Can Fly | Orpheum - Tampa |
| Crossbreed, Cultus Black, Cypher machine, Davey Partain | Orpheum - Tampa |
|---|---|
| Defy the Tyrant, Losing Daylight, Shadow the Earth | Kona Skate Park - Jacksonville |
| Breed, Gillian Carter, Audible Parts | Will's Pub - Orlando |
| Crossbreed, Cultus Black, NoSelf, The Dev | Level 13 - Orlando |
|---|---|
| Bodybox, No Zodiac, High Pressure | Conduit - Winter Park |
| Dikembe, Camp Trash, Glazed | Will's Pub - Orlando |
| Dream Theater, Devin Townsend, Animals As Leaders | Ruth Eckerd Hall - Clearwater |
|---|
| Garbage, Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds, Metric | MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa |
|---|
| Dream Theater, Devin Townsend, Animals As Leaders | Hard Rock Live - Orlando |
|---|
| Misfits, Megadeth, Fear | MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheater - Tampa |
|---|---|
| Intoxicated, Vacuous Depths, Ebullition | Conduit - Winter Park |
| black midi, YHWH Nailgun | Orpheum - Tampa |
| No/Mas, Knoll, Shock | Conduit - Winter Park |
|---|
| We Are the Union, Kill Lincoln, Catbite | The Social - Orlando |
|---|---|
| No/Mas, Knoll | Orpheum - Tampa |
| Yungblud, The Regrettes, Caspr | Jannus - St. Petersburg |
|---|
| D.R.I., Metalriser | Underbelly - Jacksonville |
|---|---|
| Peter Frampton | St. Augustine Amphitheatre |
| The Cure | Amalie Arena - Tampa |
|---|---|
| D.R.I., Metalriser | Will's Pub - Orlando |
| D.R.I., Metalriser | Brass Mug - Tampa |
|---|---|
| Liliac, Fortune Child | The Twisted Fork - Port Charlotte |
| Godflesh | Conduit - Winter Park |
|---|
| Sad Summer Festival | Daily's Place Amphitheatre - Jacksonville |
|---|
| Sad Summer Festival | Coachman Park - Clearwater |
|---|---|
| Subdivisions, Violence System, The Fallen Sons | Jack Rabbits - Jacksonville |
| Days Of Summer festival | Conduit - Winter Park |
| Memphis May Fire, Norma Jean, Secrets | The Beacham - Orlando |
|---|---|
| Days Of Summer festival | Conduit - Winter Park |
| Memphis May Fire, Norma Jean, Secrets | High Dive - Gainesville |
|---|---|
| Crown The Empire, Varials | Orpheum - Tampa |
| blink-182, Turnstile | Amalie Arena - Tampa |
|---|---|
| Orthodox, Cell, Chamber | Crowbar - Tampa |
| Analepsy, Cognitive, Wormhole, Nectoricgorebeast | Conduit - Winter Park |
|---|
| Analepsy, Cognitive, Wormhole, Nectoricgorebeast | Crowbar - Tampa |
|---|
| Staind | Seminole Hard Rock - Tampa |
|---|
| Staind | Hard Rock Live - Orlando |
|---|
| Obituary | Brass Mug - Tampa |
|---|---|
| Flag On Fire, Scatter Shot, Backslide, Regions | O'Malley's Alley - Ocala |
| Cenotaph, Horrific Visions, Architectural Genocide | Conduit - Winter Park |
|---|
| Agents of Chaos, Black Clash | Jack Rabbits - Jacksonville |
|---|---|
| Buckcherry | Underbelly - Jacksonville |
| Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, Bryan Adams | Amalie Arena - Tampa |
|---|---|
| Mudvayne, Coal Chamber, Gwar, Nonpoint, Butcher Babies | MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa |
| The Final Sound, Abbey Death, Layne Lyre | New World Music Hall - Tampa |
| Yosemite In Black, Endbringer, Murder Afloat | Orpheum - Tampa |
| Yellowcard, Mayday Parade, Story of the Year | Daily's Place Amphitheatre - Jacksonville |
|---|---|
| Less Than Jake, Voodoo Glow Skulls, Devon Kay & the Solutions | House of Blues - Orlando |
| Rising Up Angry, Tragic, Legions Blind | Kona Skate Park - Jacksonville |
| Yellowcard, Mayday Parade, Story of the Year | Yuengling Center - Tampa |
|---|---|
| Endbringer, Yosemite In Black, Heavy Hitter | 1904 Music Hall - Jacksonville |
| Fall Out Boy, Bring Me The Horizon, Royal & The Serpent | MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa |
|---|
| Havok, Toxic Holocaust, I AM, Hammerhedd | Conduit - Winter Park |
|---|
| Between the Buried and Me, Rivers of Nihil, Thank you Scientist | Jannus - St. Petersburg |
|---|---|
| Round Eye, No Fraud, Caffiends | Will's Pub - Orlando |
| Between the Buried and Me, Rivers of Nihil, Thank you Scientist | Beacham - Orlando |
|---|---|
| Southpaw, Highest Crown, Fortitude, Dead Mirrors | Born Free - Tampa |
| Crobot, Rickshaw, Billie's Burger Patrol | Orpheum - Tampa |
|---|
| Underoath, The Ghost Inside, We Came As Romans | Yuengling Center - Tampa |
|---|
| Disturbed, Breaking Benjamin | MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa |
|---|---|
| Underoath, The Ghost Inside, We Came As Romans | St. Augustine Amphitheatre |
| Sanguisugabogg, Kruelty, Vomit Forth | Conduit - Winter Park |
| The Queers, The Radio Buzzkills, The Jasons | Jack Rabbits - Jacksonville |
|---|
| Pyrexia, Cerebral Incubation, Atoll | Conduit - Winter Park |
|---|
| The All-American Rejects, New Found Glory, The Starting Line | MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa |
|---|---|
| Black Flag | High Dive - Gainesville |
| Alesana, Vampires Everywhere, Limbs | Level 13 - Orlando |
|---|
| The Offspring, Sum 41, Simple Plan | MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa |
|---|---|
| hed p.e., Lydia can't Breathe, Razorz Edge | Jack Rabbits - Jacksonville |
| Left to Suffer, Distant, Justice for the Damned | Conduit - Winter Park |
|---|
| The Smashing Pumpkins, Interpol, Rival Sons | MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa |
|---|
| The Mezingers | Underbelly - Jacksonville |
|---|
| Bless The Fall, Caskets, Kingdom of Giants | Orpheum - Tampa |
|---|
| Clutch, Giovanni & The Hired Guns, Mike Dillon | Jannus - St. Petersburg |
|---|
| Rob Zombie, Alice Cooper, Ministry | MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa |
|---|
| Ghost, Amon Amarth | Daily's Place Amphitheatre - Jacksonville |
|---|
| Ghost, Amon Amarth | MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa |
|---|
| Baby Metal, Dethklok, Jason Richardson | Orlando Amphitheater |
|---|
| Spitalfield, Rookie of the Year, The Future Perfect | Conduit - Winter Park |
|---|
| Bad Omens, ERRA, I See Stars | Jannus - St. Petersburg |
|---|
| Bad Omens, ERRA, I See Stars | House of Blues - Orlando |
|---|
| The Waning Moon, Palace of Tears, Rux Vendetta | Hooch & Hive - Tampa |
|---|
| Kamelot, Battle Beast, Xandria | Hard Rock Live - Orlando |
|---|
| Angelmaker, Vulvodynia, Flasifier | Conduit - Orlando |
|---|
| Black Veil Brides, VV, Dark Divine | Jannus - St. Petersburg |
|---|
| 3 Doors Down, Candlebox | Daily's Place Amphitheatre - Jacksonville |
|---|---|
| Dance Gavin Dance, SiM, Rain City Drive | Hard Rock Live - Orlando |
| 3 Doors Down, Candlebox | MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa |
|---|
| Movements, Mannequin Pussy, Softcult | The Ritz - Tampa |
|---|
| Avenged Sevenfold, Falling in Reverse | MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa |
|---|---|
| Wave to Earth, slchld | Orpheum - Tampa |
| Scowl, Militarie Gun, MSPAINT | Conduit - Winter Park |
|---|
| Scowl, Militarie Gun, MSPAINT | 1904 Music Hall - Jacksonville |
|---|
| Cavalera Conspiracy, Exhumed, Incite | Beacham - Orlando |
|---|
| Boys Like Girls, State Champs, Four Year Strong | House Of Blues - Orlando |
|---|
| The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus | High Dive - Gainesville |
|---|
| nothing, nowhere., See You Space Cowboy, Static Dress, Unitytx | Orpheum - Tampa |
|---|
| CIRCLE JERKS, TSOL, Negative Approach | Underbelly - Jacksonville |
|---|---|
| Shinedown, Papa Roach, Spiritbox | MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre - Tampa |
| NOFX | Vinoy Park - St. Petersburg |
|---|---|
| Flogging Molly, The Bronx | House Of Blues - Orlando |
| Absolution Fest | Crowbar - Tampa |
|---|
| Ne Obliviscaris, Beyond Creation, Persefone | Orpheum - Tampa |
|---|
| Ne Obliviscaris, Beyond Creation, Persefone | Conduit - Winter Park |
|---|---|
| Fit For a King, The Devil Wears Prada, Counterparts, Landmvrks | The Ritz - Tampa |
| Dawn of Ouroboros, Fires in the Distance, Somnent | Conduit - Winter Park |
|---|
| Beast in Black, Dance with the Dead | Orpheum - Tampa |
|---|---|
| Fame on Fire, Kingdom Collapse | The Social - Orlando |
| Beast in Black, Dance with the Dead | Conduit - Winter Park |
|---|---|
| Motionless In White, Knocked Loose, After the Burial, Alpha Wolf | Hard Rock Live - Orlando |
| Atilla, Gideon, Until I Wake, Ten56 | Underbelly - Jacksonville |
|---|
| Atilla, Gideon, Until I Wake, Ten56 | Orpheum - Tampa |
|---|
| The Fest | Gainesville |
|---|
| Protest the Hero, Moontooth | The Abbey - Orlando |
|---|
| Protest the Hero, Moontooth | Orpheum - Tampa |
|---|
| Kansas | Florida Theatre - Jacksonville |
|---|
2023.06.09 04:23 ee1234 Trip report: First trip to Japan (Osaka, Shimanami Kaido, Hiroshima, Hakata, Tottori, Kyoto and Tokyo)
Basics
My wife and I spent 14 days in Japan in May 2023, our first time in Japan (or anywhere in Asia). We usually got between 8-12 miles daily, though some of that was somewhat by choice, as in places like Hiroshima the transit within the city takes nearly as long as walking, and walking is preferrable to see and experience the city.All the tips on here and those answering questions on Discord really helped plan things.
What I learned
Pay attention to the square footage of your room. We got a room at an APA in Osaka where it was literally impossible for both of us to stand up simultaneously. Luckily all of our subsequent hotels had room for us both to get dressed at the same time.Get hotels with onsens/spas. We booked exclusively hotels with onsens/spas. This was crucial. It’s such a great day-ender to go up there for a soak in the hot/cold pools and sauna. They give you robes/lounge clothes and slippers to wear up there. It’s just incredibly cozy. Made me wish it was winter.
Japan is super easy to travel, the easiest country I’ve been to. It seems the country as a whole and everyone in it is extremely detail oriented and considers every possible issue. I’ve never seen workers tasked with holding up a screen for pedestrian protection around a man trimming the lawn until Japan. I’ve never seen a tour bus driver feather-dusting his bus until Japan. Everyone is so calm. I think I heard one person yell in two weeks. Everybody was super patient with our lack of Japanese and general lack of knowledge of their culture.
Note: We’re not really foodies. When traveling we usually just eat whenever we get so hungry that we must, plus the Japanese cuisine doesn’t mesh with our tastes, so this will be light on food.
Day by day
Day 0: Arrived at Haneda in the afternoon, got PASMO cards and caught train to Shinagawa. Then we took the Nozomi to Osaka, purchasing tickets in advance via Smart-Ex. All went smoothly despite the jet lag.Day 1: Osaka. Mini-pig café, Don Quijote, wandered the neighborhood to the northeast of Umeda Station checking out shops, finished the day in a small bar in Dotonbori.
Day 2: Osaka area. In the morning, we rode out to Nara to see Todai-Ji and the bowing deer. The temple was stunning. In the afternoon, we went to a Hanshin Tigers game, which was great, though we were baking in the sun. It’s crazy how many beer vendors Japanese baseball games have. I didn’t go 30 seconds without a beer girl passing by. We ended the day with dinner at Snow Lion, a Nepali restaurant that was extremely tasty.
Day 3: We activated our JR West Sanyo-San-in Area passes and headed west on the bullet train then a slow Sanyo Line train, bound for Onomichi. I rented a bike from Trek, took the ferry to Setoda and rode the Shimanami Kaido. I rode a bit south after I got off the ferry in Setoda, across the next big bridge. Then I turned around and biked back to Onomichi. It was a beautiful ride, but the parts near the Onomichi end could be skipped. Too much traffic and development. While I did this, my wife wandered around Onomichi, visiting Cat Alley and taking a ropeway ride. After that, we met up and headed for Ōkunoshima, aka Rabbit Island. This was a cool little side trip, but not sure it was worth the time expenditure. Finally, we ended the long day traveling to Hiroshima to check into our hotel. Family Mart was our main meal, because the restaurants in Tadano-Umi were all closed on Monday, and we had time to kill before the next train back to Mihara.
Day 4: We took a train and ferry trip to Miyajima and took the ropeway to the top, then walked the rest of the way to the top. It’s a beautiful island, but pretty tourist trap-ish. Later in the day we picked up Carp tickets for a future date, then checked out the Atomic Bomb Dome at night. The main meal, at Okonomiyaki Teppan-yaki Momiji-Tei, was extremely good Okonomiyaki.
Day 5: Day trip to Hakata, with a stop for the Hello Kitty exhibition at a hall near Shin-Yamaguchi Station. After Hello Kitty, we headed to Nanzoin, the reclining buddha statue and temple. It’s a wonderful place, the nice ladies at the train station will loan you some cover-up cloth if you have tattoos or your shorts are too short. After Nanzoin, we got some Hakata ramen at Ramen Stadium in the giant mall, then wandered the streets of Hakata a bit, stopping at Kushida-jinja Shrine. Back in Hiroshima that evening, we visited Sam’s Café, an American-themed bar with more memorabilia than you’d think possible. The proprietor is a wonderful older gentleman who loves America.
Day 6: We started the day at the Peace Museum. This is an extremely moving visit. A late breakfast here featured the fluffiest egg souffle I’ve ever seen. Later, we went to the Carp game.
Day 7: Shinkansen to Himeji Castle. We scheduled ourselves a four-hour layover, which was just about perfect to walk up there, see the castle and walk through it, check out the garden, and walk back without feeling rushed and with time to grab train snacks. Then we caught the Super Hakuto to Kurayoshi where we met a friend and ended the day with some onsen time at Izanro Iwasaki in Misasa Onsen.
Day 8: Tottori Sand Dunes, Sand Museum and a trip to Refresh park Yumura, which is a very nice onsen with the standard indoor, gender-separated areas, plus some cool outdoor spots for all genders, including a little cave. You wear a swimsuit for the outdoor parts.
Day 9: I wasn’t feeling great, so I did nothing while my wife and friends went to Lake Togo area near Kurayoshi for a waterfall hike. Then we boarded the Super Hakuto for Kyoto, where we stayed.
Day 10: We got an early start to see as many temples as possible in Kyoto before our 1pm train to Tokyo. We were able to get to Kiyomizu-dera, Ginkakuji and Shimogamo-jinja before time ran out. We used the city bus, which wasn’t that bad. They weren’t quite on time and we had to let a couple pass by at the very start of our day because they were too crowded. We added our PASMO card numbers into the Smart-Ex app so boarding the Shinkansen was super easy. In Tokyo, we stayed in Ueno, which was a great spot with good accessibility to the rest of the city and lots of action and places to eat and drink.
Day 11: We started with a trip to Sanrio Puroland, which took even longer than planned due to some train delays. Our train went out of service at some point on the trip. Puroland is kind of odd. But it wasn’t too expensive and my wife loved it. On the way back we stopped at Gotokuji Temple, the waving cat temple and later caught a glimpse of the waving cat train at the nearby Miyanosaka Station. For a nightcap, we checked out Asakusa Rockza.
Day 12: Shopping/sightseeing in Akihabara. Yodobashi Camera is absolutely massive. I preferred it over Bic Camera. After some other miscellaneous shopping near Tokyo Station, we later walked from our hotel over to this cat-themed bar.
Day 13: Near Nippori Station there’s a cat-centric neighborhood, Yanaka Cat Town. We stopped at a cat store or two as well as a cat art gallery. I got a great foot massage in this area, as well. This area was so cool we skipped out on our tickets to TeamLabs. For a nightcap, we went to one place in Golden Gai. That area is absolutely overrun with tourists.
Day 14: It was super rainy, and we didn’t have all that much time to kill before our flight, so we checked out the Tobu train museum. Definitely worth a visit if you like trains. Though kind of hard to figure out how to drive the trains if you don’t speak Japanese. Then we proceeded to Narita on the Skyliner. Note, there’s a slight discount for foreigners if you buy online.
2023.06.09 03:01 philliez92 New Pool Owner Questions
 | Hey everybody, I'm a first-time pool owner after buying a house here along the Jersey Shore...it's a Summer Waves pool that I measured at 19' diameter and 4' tall with the generic filter. First, after dumping four bags of shock in two days ago and running the filter since, the light green algae coloring is gone, but the water is still cloudy, and I can barely see the bottom. The local pool store tested the water, and the levels are fine but suggested emptying 16oz of clarifier in this morning, but it hasn't improved. Any suggestions? submitted by philliez92 to pools [link] [comments] Second, would you have any suggestions for a better filer that won't break the bank and doesn't have to be high-end for this basic above-ground pool but better than the generic one left with the pool? How easy is it to change a filter after the pool is already opened? Thank you for any advice! |
2023.06.09 01:26 AuthorInHell Hindsight's a Bitch (Color Me Black CH2)
After they left, I locked the front door and carried on cleaning. Normally I wouldn't worry about locking the door until I left, but even if those strangers were two of the most attractive men I had the pleasure of looking upon, I didn't know them, and therefore, I didn't trust them.
Small town charm, indeed.
As I grabbed the last few bottles from by the pool table, the jukebox cut out. I rolled my eyes and made a mental note to call Jerry tomorrow about it. It was too late now, after I started bartending for him, Jerry took full advantage of not having to be here 24/7. He was likely already asleep.
The lights flickered as I pulled the trash bag out and threw it over my shoulder, but I shrugged it off, even as chills spread across my arms. The place was old, and probably haunted, and it wasn't the first time weird shit had happened here. I threw open the back door, crinkling my nose at the smell, and tossed the bag in the dumpster before locking up and heading to my car.
My car was technically Jim's old truck, but after he passed, Doris said I should have it. I tried to insist that it go to Polly when she was old enough to drive, but Doris just said I had helped him work on it enough that it should go to me. Polly wasn't one for trucks anyway, she had claimed. It was only when Polly put the keys in my hand herself that I actually accepted it. Seven years later, and the old, ugly thing still ran great.
God, I've been overly sentimental today. Let's move on.
The thing about hindsight, they say it's 20/20. After this day, I'd say it's a bitch. All it does is make you think about every single thing you did wrong, over and over again, until it drives you crazy. And crazy people don't tend to see all that clearly.
The house was dark when I pulled up, the only light coming from the moon. Which you'd think would be normal, it being ten something at night, but the porch light was always left on for me, and Polly doesn't normally go to bed this early. Doris doesn't either, but she may have gone to sleep earlier than usual if I had woken her up last night. She probably just forgot the porch light.
I walked up the steps and found the front door slightly open. Now THAT was not normal. I paused at the threshold long enough to pull out my Glock. I checked the sled and loaded the magazine before slowly pushing the door open with my foot. I longed to call out to Doris and Polly, to make sure they were okay, if they were even here (holding out hope that they aren't), but instinct and years of hunting kept my mouth shut.
I tried to keep my footsteps silent, avoiding the spots in the floor I know creak and groan. An overwhelming smell, like rotting eggs, filled the air. It triggered something in the corner of my brain, but I couldn't focus on it right now. The kitchen and living room were clear, and so was the downstairs bathroom.
I walked towards the stairs and the smell intensified. You know when people say they felt like lead was in the pit of their stomach? Turns out, they weren't overexaggerating.
There was no noise, save for my own breathing, as I crept up. Room by room, I cleared the house. No one was here. No sign of Doris, or Polly. I wanted to feel relieved, I really did, but life has taught me that relief is often a feeling followed by dread.
Sentimental has flown out the window.
I checked the windows upstairs, making sure they were all closed and locked, before going downstairs to do the same. I stopped short at the sight of Lenny and Barry. In my living room. Normally, this would constitute as a dream come true, but the guns in their hands definitely gave me pause on the horny fantasy.
They hadn't noticed me yet, so I slowly raised my gun and watched as they made their way into the kitchen. I followed them silently, keeping my gun level, until they reached the table.
"I'm gonna need you to drop the weapons and explain what, exactly, you're doing in my house."
They whirled around, both going to aim at me, but I was quicker. I shot a warning round into the floor by their feet. (Doris was seriously going to kill me for that.) They both jumped back, hands raised in the air.
"I didn't say wave them around, I said drop them."
"Look, Winnie-"
"Drop the goddamn guns!" I said, as I cocked my own back.
"Fine, fine," Barry said, slowly bending at the knees to place his gun on the floor. "Just calm down, alright?"
Lenny looked irritated but followed suit, putting his weapon on the ground gently.
"Kick them aside."
Sighs of absolute exasperation floated through the air. (Seriously? Breaking into my house and then getting annoyed at me? Get a load of these guys.)
"Where are Doris and Polly?"
"Who?" Lenny asked, irritation coloring the word.
"Don't play stupid, I'm really not in the mood."
"Lady, I don't know who those people are." He snapped.
"Doris and Polly," I repeated slowly. "The two women who live in this house with me. The house you just broke into, with loaded weapons. After I come home to find them missing."
"Look, we can explain," Barry started.
"I would hope so, considering the alternative." I gestured with my head at the gun in my hand.
"Just lower your gun, and we'll tell you everything."
"Listen, Bare, may I call you Bare?" I continued without waiting for permission, "You seem to not understand how this works. Your weapons are out of reach, mine is in hand, you're in MY house, and my family is missing. I'll lower the gun if I decide your explanation is good enough. Which seems unlikely."
My voice, somehow, was holding completely steady, but inwardly, panic was filling every empty part of my body. My brain was screaming at me to stop wasting time, but I forced that voice aside. At this point, the only people who could tell me anything were standing in front of me, one looking pissed off and the other looking very concerned. About me or the imminent death he faced, I couldn't be sure.
"Winsley, your family, they've been taken by-"
"Sammy!"
"Dean, she deserves to know. She's in this, whether we like it or not."
I blinked at the sudden identity change, although I have to say, I was kind of grateful that two dudes who looked this good didn't have names like Lenny and Barry. Even if they were possible kidnappers.
Dean, previously Lenny, clenched his jaw, but didn't say anything when Sammy, previously Barry, started again. "They've been taken by what we think is a demon. We're not sure why yet, but that's why we're here. It's what we do. We, we save people from things like this."
"Things like demons." I deadpanned. "So you're story is, a demon has, for some unknown reason, kidnapped my family, and you two just happen to be here at the same time as this thing, because life is all just one big coininky dink?"
"We tracked it here," Lenny/Dean spoke up. "It's been traveling through Wyoming, ripping through small towns. It's killed before, but it's never kidnapped anyone. Until now. So whatever this thing wants, your family has it. And you're not exactly helping us save 'em."
"And your plan was to shoot this demon full of lead? Do demons bleed? Can they even die?"
"They're full of rock salt," Barry/Sammy said. "Salt doesn't kill them, but it hurts them. Slows 'em down. We slow them down enough, we can get them wrapped in rope soaked in holy water and get the answers we all want."
Hysterical laughter bubbled up in my throat. I've been a bartender for 7 years, in a small ass town in the middle of nowhere, and before that, well, that's a backstory for another chapter, but let's just conclude that I know crazy. I've delt with crazy, but this was above and beyond.
"This is either some elaborate scheme to distract me, or you're both having a psychotic break at the same time."
"Okay, enough," Dean snapped. Faster than I could track, he whipped out yet another gun from behind him and aimed it at me.
"Am I now a demon in this illusion of yours? Rock salt isn't gonna do shit to me."
"Well, actually, it hurts like a bitch." He said, shrugging. "Curiosity got the best of me. But this ain't no rock salt, sweetheart. So why don't you put the gun down, because I guarantee you I can pull this trigger faster than you."
I paused, considering, before twisting and aiming my gun at Sammy's head. "You wanna test that theory?"
They both went deathly still. Apparently, they decided to finally take my threat seriously.
"Fine, you know what? You want your family to die, that's on you, lady. We can leave you to it," Dean put his gun down and went to grab the other one from the floor. "But don't say we didn't warn you."
He went to walk out the back door, Sammy hesitantly grabbing his own gun before following Dean out.
"Wait. Fine. But I want some of those rock salt thingies."
Dean glanced back. "No."
Sammy ignored him and handed me his pistol. "Aim for the heart."
I slowly holstered my gun, replacing it with his.
"Dammit, Sammy."
"I think she can handle herself, Dean."
Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed so hard I was surprised it didn't propel him backwards.
"Are there any other buildings around here that might be abandoned or empty? Somewhere used for storage?"
"Yeah, we have a barn. Jim used to keep some of his old junk in there."
"Show us."
"Okay, full offense, for someone supposedly trying to help, you are extremely rude."
"Yes, and I look good doing it."
I narrowed my eyes at him but lead them out the backdoor. Before you start yelling at me, I'm not believing this bullshit. They're clearly insane, and they probably have my family locked in the barn, and I figure once they go inside to "scope the place out", I'll call Sherrif Bereta and get these beautiful loonies locked up.
That plan went dark, literally, as a sharp pain cracked through my skull and I crumbled to the ground.
*******************************
I'm sure we've all heard the term "spitting mad". Well, whatever that means, I was even angrier when I came to, back in the kitchen, surrounded by a ring of salt and tied up with, sure enough, a soggy rope. It itched.
Okay, yes. I got, well, got. I spent the past ten years of my life hunting animals, not fighting crime, okay? Give me a break. I thought my plan had been pretty solid.
I glanced around, trying to get my bearings through the bulldozer that had made its home in my head. Two major headaches in one day. If the tequila didn't kill my braincells, that hit certainly did.
"Bastards," I muttered to myself. I wiggled against the ropes, but all that managed to do was chafe. I attempted to stand, but they had tied my ankles together and to my bound wrists, so not only did I fail, I looked ridiculous doing it.
The panic I was ignoring earlier came back with renewed strength, and I had to stop all movement and focus on my breathing. I haven't had a panic attack in years, and I really didn't think this was a smart time to start again.
The silence broke with a screech that sounded, as much as I loathe to admit it, demonic. I'm not a religious person, if you couldn't tell, working a Sunday morning instead of attending church, so I didn't break out in prayer. I did, however, look around for any kind of weapon that I could try to get my hands on. My gun was sitting on the table, just out of reach.
"Bastards!" I announced again.
"That's no way to talk about the people who saved your ass."
Dean was standing in the doorway, a light coat of sweat shining across his forehead. His breathing was quick, but all in all, he seemed steady.
"You pistol whipped me, hog tied me, and seasoned me, dude. I wouldn't constitute that as 'saving'."
"Yeah, well. Difference of opinion," he said, a small smile playing across his lips.
"Where's your future cellmate?"
"He's finishing up with the demon. Should be here any minute."
"Ah, yes. The demon. Did you get any answers? Did you find Polly and Doris? Did you develop the sudden need to enroll yourself into a mental institution?"
Before Dean could answer, Sam came into view behind him, and on his arm was Polly. My breath caught in my throat as I looked her over, bruised, bleeding from a cut on her forehead, but alive. On her feet.
"Polly thank god, I was so worried-" I went to stand up, forgetting about the ropes, and promptly fell over. "Can you get these goddamn things off of me?"
Dean glanced over at his brother, and Sammy nodded. He lead Polly to a chair and positioned himself in front of her.
"Do you think I'm going to attack my own family? I'm not the one suffering from some kind of breakdown." I said, watching Dean pull out a knife and ever so slowly cut through the ropes. As soon as they fell off, I stood, rubbing my raw wrists, and went to make my way to Polly.
"Where's Doris?" I asked, kneeling in front of her. "Is she okay? Did she get caught up at bible study or did these two lunatics tie her up, too?"
Polly lifted her tear soaked eyes, grief overflowing in them.
There's something you should know about Big Traumatic Events, and it's that time moves differently in them. You know when you were a kid, swimming in a pool, and you sunk down to the bottom? The world was quiet, and your limbs were heavy and light at the same time, moving through the water as if time had slowed.
That's what it's like.
I rocked back on my heels.
I stood and whipped towards Sam.
I lunged for the gun.
Sammy caught my arms, pushing me back as I fought against him.
There was a sound trying to pierce through the overwhelming emptiness in my head. A sound that sounded a lot like a wounded animal. It's a sound I know well.
When Polly swam into view, putting my face between her hands, I realized that I was that sound. Something between a scream and a sob was falling out of me, and I couldn't stop it.
"Winnie. It's okay. It's gonna be okay," she sobbed with me.
I wrenched myself away from her. I couldn't, wouldn't, allow myself to be calmed down.
"What did you do to her?!" I screamed.
"She was possessed, Winnie."
"Don't call me that."
"By the time we got to her, it was too late. The demon had destroyed her body, and it was the only thing holding her together."
"STOP USING YOUR INSANE THEORIES AS AN EXCUSE FOR WHY YOU KILLED MY MOTHER!"
My chest heaved, and the two murdering bastards just stood there. They had the gall to even look sad. What did they have to be sad about? They're the ones going around killing people, claiming it's in the name of- of what? God? I didn't care.
"It's true, Winnie."
My breath came up short as I turned to look at Polly. Tears still streamed down her face, mingling with the blood. I noticed her lip was split, too, and added another tally to the scoreboard. I'd kill them.
"She was, she was different. She wasn't mom. She hit me. She tied me up. She tried to torture me, asking me questions that I didn't understand."
"No, Polly. These lunatics probably drugged you or something. THEY tortured you. They're feeding you their delusions."
"No, they aren't!" She shouted. "I saw it, okay? I saw her become that thing. I saw her eyes turn black. And I felt every moment she laid her hands on me. She was MY mom, Winnie. I knew her better than anyone, and I know that wasn't her."
Those words broke something deep inside of me, deeper than even Doris's death. Polly was right. Doris was her mother. Not mine. I looked at Dean, at Sammy, at the gun, my gun, that he was now holding in his hands, probably to keep me from putting a few rounds in the two of them.
I took a deep breath and simply said, "Fine."
And I left.
Authors note:
Yeah I made myself sad. I also feel like I used the word "Gun" so much. But really what else do I call it? Anyway. Supernatural ripped my heart out like twenty thousand times, so it's only fair I add some heartbreak to this story. Hope you like it!
submitted by AuthorInHell to u/AuthorInHell [link] [comments]
Small town charm, indeed.
As I grabbed the last few bottles from by the pool table, the jukebox cut out. I rolled my eyes and made a mental note to call Jerry tomorrow about it. It was too late now, after I started bartending for him, Jerry took full advantage of not having to be here 24/7. He was likely already asleep.
The lights flickered as I pulled the trash bag out and threw it over my shoulder, but I shrugged it off, even as chills spread across my arms. The place was old, and probably haunted, and it wasn't the first time weird shit had happened here. I threw open the back door, crinkling my nose at the smell, and tossed the bag in the dumpster before locking up and heading to my car.
My car was technically Jim's old truck, but after he passed, Doris said I should have it. I tried to insist that it go to Polly when she was old enough to drive, but Doris just said I had helped him work on it enough that it should go to me. Polly wasn't one for trucks anyway, she had claimed. It was only when Polly put the keys in my hand herself that I actually accepted it. Seven years later, and the old, ugly thing still ran great.
God, I've been overly sentimental today. Let's move on.
The thing about hindsight, they say it's 20/20. After this day, I'd say it's a bitch. All it does is make you think about every single thing you did wrong, over and over again, until it drives you crazy. And crazy people don't tend to see all that clearly.
The house was dark when I pulled up, the only light coming from the moon. Which you'd think would be normal, it being ten something at night, but the porch light was always left on for me, and Polly doesn't normally go to bed this early. Doris doesn't either, but she may have gone to sleep earlier than usual if I had woken her up last night. She probably just forgot the porch light.
I walked up the steps and found the front door slightly open. Now THAT was not normal. I paused at the threshold long enough to pull out my Glock. I checked the sled and loaded the magazine before slowly pushing the door open with my foot. I longed to call out to Doris and Polly, to make sure they were okay, if they were even here (holding out hope that they aren't), but instinct and years of hunting kept my mouth shut.
I tried to keep my footsteps silent, avoiding the spots in the floor I know creak and groan. An overwhelming smell, like rotting eggs, filled the air. It triggered something in the corner of my brain, but I couldn't focus on it right now. The kitchen and living room were clear, and so was the downstairs bathroom.
I walked towards the stairs and the smell intensified. You know when people say they felt like lead was in the pit of their stomach? Turns out, they weren't overexaggerating.
There was no noise, save for my own breathing, as I crept up. Room by room, I cleared the house. No one was here. No sign of Doris, or Polly. I wanted to feel relieved, I really did, but life has taught me that relief is often a feeling followed by dread.
Sentimental has flown out the window.
I checked the windows upstairs, making sure they were all closed and locked, before going downstairs to do the same. I stopped short at the sight of Lenny and Barry. In my living room. Normally, this would constitute as a dream come true, but the guns in their hands definitely gave me pause on the horny fantasy.
They hadn't noticed me yet, so I slowly raised my gun and watched as they made their way into the kitchen. I followed them silently, keeping my gun level, until they reached the table.
"I'm gonna need you to drop the weapons and explain what, exactly, you're doing in my house."
They whirled around, both going to aim at me, but I was quicker. I shot a warning round into the floor by their feet. (Doris was seriously going to kill me for that.) They both jumped back, hands raised in the air.
"I didn't say wave them around, I said drop them."
"Look, Winnie-"
"Drop the goddamn guns!" I said, as I cocked my own back.
"Fine, fine," Barry said, slowly bending at the knees to place his gun on the floor. "Just calm down, alright?"
Lenny looked irritated but followed suit, putting his weapon on the ground gently.
"Kick them aside."
Sighs of absolute exasperation floated through the air. (Seriously? Breaking into my house and then getting annoyed at me? Get a load of these guys.)
"Where are Doris and Polly?"
"Who?" Lenny asked, irritation coloring the word.
"Don't play stupid, I'm really not in the mood."
"Lady, I don't know who those people are." He snapped.
"Doris and Polly," I repeated slowly. "The two women who live in this house with me. The house you just broke into, with loaded weapons. After I come home to find them missing."
"Look, we can explain," Barry started.
"I would hope so, considering the alternative." I gestured with my head at the gun in my hand.
"Just lower your gun, and we'll tell you everything."
"Listen, Bare, may I call you Bare?" I continued without waiting for permission, "You seem to not understand how this works. Your weapons are out of reach, mine is in hand, you're in MY house, and my family is missing. I'll lower the gun if I decide your explanation is good enough. Which seems unlikely."
My voice, somehow, was holding completely steady, but inwardly, panic was filling every empty part of my body. My brain was screaming at me to stop wasting time, but I forced that voice aside. At this point, the only people who could tell me anything were standing in front of me, one looking pissed off and the other looking very concerned. About me or the imminent death he faced, I couldn't be sure.
"Winsley, your family, they've been taken by-"
"Sammy!"
"Dean, she deserves to know. She's in this, whether we like it or not."
I blinked at the sudden identity change, although I have to say, I was kind of grateful that two dudes who looked this good didn't have names like Lenny and Barry. Even if they were possible kidnappers.
Dean, previously Lenny, clenched his jaw, but didn't say anything when Sammy, previously Barry, started again. "They've been taken by what we think is a demon. We're not sure why yet, but that's why we're here. It's what we do. We, we save people from things like this."
"Things like demons." I deadpanned. "So you're story is, a demon has, for some unknown reason, kidnapped my family, and you two just happen to be here at the same time as this thing, because life is all just one big coininky dink?"
"We tracked it here," Lenny/Dean spoke up. "It's been traveling through Wyoming, ripping through small towns. It's killed before, but it's never kidnapped anyone. Until now. So whatever this thing wants, your family has it. And you're not exactly helping us save 'em."
"And your plan was to shoot this demon full of lead? Do demons bleed? Can they even die?"
"They're full of rock salt," Barry/Sammy said. "Salt doesn't kill them, but it hurts them. Slows 'em down. We slow them down enough, we can get them wrapped in rope soaked in holy water and get the answers we all want."
Hysterical laughter bubbled up in my throat. I've been a bartender for 7 years, in a small ass town in the middle of nowhere, and before that, well, that's a backstory for another chapter, but let's just conclude that I know crazy. I've delt with crazy, but this was above and beyond.
"This is either some elaborate scheme to distract me, or you're both having a psychotic break at the same time."
"Okay, enough," Dean snapped. Faster than I could track, he whipped out yet another gun from behind him and aimed it at me.
"Am I now a demon in this illusion of yours? Rock salt isn't gonna do shit to me."
"Well, actually, it hurts like a bitch." He said, shrugging. "Curiosity got the best of me. But this ain't no rock salt, sweetheart. So why don't you put the gun down, because I guarantee you I can pull this trigger faster than you."
I paused, considering, before twisting and aiming my gun at Sammy's head. "You wanna test that theory?"
They both went deathly still. Apparently, they decided to finally take my threat seriously.
"Fine, you know what? You want your family to die, that's on you, lady. We can leave you to it," Dean put his gun down and went to grab the other one from the floor. "But don't say we didn't warn you."
He went to walk out the back door, Sammy hesitantly grabbing his own gun before following Dean out.
"Wait. Fine. But I want some of those rock salt thingies."
Dean glanced back. "No."
Sammy ignored him and handed me his pistol. "Aim for the heart."
I slowly holstered my gun, replacing it with his.
"Dammit, Sammy."
"I think she can handle herself, Dean."
Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed so hard I was surprised it didn't propel him backwards.
"Are there any other buildings around here that might be abandoned or empty? Somewhere used for storage?"
"Yeah, we have a barn. Jim used to keep some of his old junk in there."
"Show us."
"Okay, full offense, for someone supposedly trying to help, you are extremely rude."
"Yes, and I look good doing it."
I narrowed my eyes at him but lead them out the backdoor. Before you start yelling at me, I'm not believing this bullshit. They're clearly insane, and they probably have my family locked in the barn, and I figure once they go inside to "scope the place out", I'll call Sherrif Bereta and get these beautiful loonies locked up.
That plan went dark, literally, as a sharp pain cracked through my skull and I crumbled to the ground.
*******************************
I'm sure we've all heard the term "spitting mad". Well, whatever that means, I was even angrier when I came to, back in the kitchen, surrounded by a ring of salt and tied up with, sure enough, a soggy rope. It itched.
Okay, yes. I got, well, got. I spent the past ten years of my life hunting animals, not fighting crime, okay? Give me a break. I thought my plan had been pretty solid.
I glanced around, trying to get my bearings through the bulldozer that had made its home in my head. Two major headaches in one day. If the tequila didn't kill my braincells, that hit certainly did.
"Bastards," I muttered to myself. I wiggled against the ropes, but all that managed to do was chafe. I attempted to stand, but they had tied my ankles together and to my bound wrists, so not only did I fail, I looked ridiculous doing it.
The panic I was ignoring earlier came back with renewed strength, and I had to stop all movement and focus on my breathing. I haven't had a panic attack in years, and I really didn't think this was a smart time to start again.
The silence broke with a screech that sounded, as much as I loathe to admit it, demonic. I'm not a religious person, if you couldn't tell, working a Sunday morning instead of attending church, so I didn't break out in prayer. I did, however, look around for any kind of weapon that I could try to get my hands on. My gun was sitting on the table, just out of reach.
"Bastards!" I announced again.
"That's no way to talk about the people who saved your ass."
Dean was standing in the doorway, a light coat of sweat shining across his forehead. His breathing was quick, but all in all, he seemed steady.
"You pistol whipped me, hog tied me, and seasoned me, dude. I wouldn't constitute that as 'saving'."
"Yeah, well. Difference of opinion," he said, a small smile playing across his lips.
"Where's your future cellmate?"
"He's finishing up with the demon. Should be here any minute."
"Ah, yes. The demon. Did you get any answers? Did you find Polly and Doris? Did you develop the sudden need to enroll yourself into a mental institution?"
Before Dean could answer, Sam came into view behind him, and on his arm was Polly. My breath caught in my throat as I looked her over, bruised, bleeding from a cut on her forehead, but alive. On her feet.
"Polly thank god, I was so worried-" I went to stand up, forgetting about the ropes, and promptly fell over. "Can you get these goddamn things off of me?"
Dean glanced over at his brother, and Sammy nodded. He lead Polly to a chair and positioned himself in front of her.
"Do you think I'm going to attack my own family? I'm not the one suffering from some kind of breakdown." I said, watching Dean pull out a knife and ever so slowly cut through the ropes. As soon as they fell off, I stood, rubbing my raw wrists, and went to make my way to Polly.
"Where's Doris?" I asked, kneeling in front of her. "Is she okay? Did she get caught up at bible study or did these two lunatics tie her up, too?"
Polly lifted her tear soaked eyes, grief overflowing in them.
There's something you should know about Big Traumatic Events, and it's that time moves differently in them. You know when you were a kid, swimming in a pool, and you sunk down to the bottom? The world was quiet, and your limbs were heavy and light at the same time, moving through the water as if time had slowed.
That's what it's like.
I rocked back on my heels.
I stood and whipped towards Sam.
I lunged for the gun.
Sammy caught my arms, pushing me back as I fought against him.
There was a sound trying to pierce through the overwhelming emptiness in my head. A sound that sounded a lot like a wounded animal. It's a sound I know well.
When Polly swam into view, putting my face between her hands, I realized that I was that sound. Something between a scream and a sob was falling out of me, and I couldn't stop it.
"Winnie. It's okay. It's gonna be okay," she sobbed with me.
I wrenched myself away from her. I couldn't, wouldn't, allow myself to be calmed down.
"What did you do to her?!" I screamed.
"She was possessed, Winnie."
"Don't call me that."
"By the time we got to her, it was too late. The demon had destroyed her body, and it was the only thing holding her together."
"STOP USING YOUR INSANE THEORIES AS AN EXCUSE FOR WHY YOU KILLED MY MOTHER!"
My chest heaved, and the two murdering bastards just stood there. They had the gall to even look sad. What did they have to be sad about? They're the ones going around killing people, claiming it's in the name of- of what? God? I didn't care.
"It's true, Winnie."
My breath came up short as I turned to look at Polly. Tears still streamed down her face, mingling with the blood. I noticed her lip was split, too, and added another tally to the scoreboard. I'd kill them.
"She was, she was different. She wasn't mom. She hit me. She tied me up. She tried to torture me, asking me questions that I didn't understand."
"No, Polly. These lunatics probably drugged you or something. THEY tortured you. They're feeding you their delusions."
"No, they aren't!" She shouted. "I saw it, okay? I saw her become that thing. I saw her eyes turn black. And I felt every moment she laid her hands on me. She was MY mom, Winnie. I knew her better than anyone, and I know that wasn't her."
Those words broke something deep inside of me, deeper than even Doris's death. Polly was right. Doris was her mother. Not mine. I looked at Dean, at Sammy, at the gun, my gun, that he was now holding in his hands, probably to keep me from putting a few rounds in the two of them.
I took a deep breath and simply said, "Fine."
And I left.
Authors note:
Yeah I made myself sad. I also feel like I used the word "Gun" so much. But really what else do I call it? Anyway. Supernatural ripped my heart out like twenty thousand times, so it's only fair I add some heartbreak to this story. Hope you like it!
2023.06.09 01:25 AuthorInHell Sweet Cheeks
This is definitely a fanfiction, something to write when I need to get my brain off of my book! Enjoy it! Or don't, I'm not your mom.
I think I heard somewhere once that the worst days of your life start off the most mundane. Or maybe I just made that up to stop myself from overthinking every little moment that lead up to this one.
The morning started like any other (as I alluded to), birds were singing, annoyingly loud, and the sun was shining in a way that most people would describe as beautiful, but I'd describe it as sharp. Every beam of UV ray that fell from the sky jabbed into my eyes and back into my pounding skull.
"Doing alright there, Winnie?" A sweet voice asked. I looked up into Doris's eyes, full of a mixture of sympathy and amusement. I let out some kind of whine/groan and dropped my head back into my hands, where it belonged, shielding me from the offensively cheery woman standing in front of the offensively cheery light.
A loud clunk sounded and I peaked with one eye to see an empty bottle of tequila had appeared on the table in front of me. "I see you had quite the fun night," she laughed.
"Doris," I started, then stopped, wincing at the sound of my gravelly voice. I cleared my throat and started again. "Doris, woman of great kindness and wisdom, lady who hath helped raise me in this cruel and twisted world, I beg of you, get that goddamn bottle away from me, because if I catch one wiff of that stuff I'm gonna hurl."
"I'd be surprised if you have anything left in you to do so, considering the noises coming from the bathroom at 3am." The bottle was gone, tossed in the trash. I officially changed my stance on where my head belonged, picturing myself nestled in the white plastic alongside the empty carton of milk and the source of my shame.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. Polly and I were just so caught up in celebrating her graduation, I didn't even realize how much we had been drinking until-"
"Until it all came back up," Polly finished, stumbling into the kitchen. "Yeah, same."
Doris just shook her head at us, but there was a small smile on her lips. I grabbed her hand and looked up at her pleadingly.
"Forgive me, mommy Doris?"
"There's nothing to forgive, you two were just having some fun. But you are far too old to be giving me puppy dog eyes when you think you've done something wrong, Winnie!"
"Am I also far too old for you to keep calling me Winnie? I feel like I should be sitting here in nothing but a red t-shirt, sipping honey out of a bottle." I grumbled.
"Actually, I think you did that exact thing last night," Polly teased. "Except replace honey with tequila."
Doris laughed as I glared at her. "How in gods name are you not more hungover? You drank more than I did."
"Because she's 21, and you're 25. Old, Winnie dear, too old." Doris said as she walked out of the kitchen. My jaw dropped in mock outrage as I watched her go, glancing at Polly, who was trying to cover her chortles with a cup of coffee. It didn't go well.
"Okay, well this OLD LADY is going to go shower and get ready for work," I huffed.
"Don't forget to oil your knees, grandma."
I stole the coffee out of Polly's hands for that comment alone, and her protests followed me up to the shower.
**************
Okay, so maybe it didn't start out JUST like every other day. I don't wake up hungover all that often. More often than I should, yes, but hardly every day. Keeping up with a 21 year old is incredibly difficult.
Work, on the other hand, was exactly the same. Lights on at nine, jukebox playing some country song that was too sad to be playing this early in the morning, Richard shuffling in to get his Irish coffee before church so he didn't get the shakes in the middle of his sermon. Small country town, small country life, small country bar.
Small country girl.
Maybe not for much longer, though. I swore to myself years ago that I wouldn't be stuck in this town like everyone else, but then Jim died. Polly was only 14, and Doris was an old fashion housewife, staying home to raise her daughter. I, on the other hand, was 18, and when they had brought me into their home, Jim took one look at my temper and said he knew what to do with me. Taught me all he knew about hunting, guns, and even archery. He said he liked how the bow felt in his arms, and I did too.
Polly wasn't interested in any of it. She loved animals too much. I mean, I love animals too, don't get me wrong. Show me a puppy and I'm babbling nonsense with the rest of you. But there was always something peaceful about being in the woods, surrounded by nature.
Anyway, to get back on track, I became the man of the house. I got a job at the bar to start bringing in money, I fixed things that were broken around the house, sold deer meat and bear hides for extra money. Whatever I could to help them stay on their feet.
Now, though, now Polly had graduated. She already had a job lined up at the veterinarian office in town, where her fiancé also worked. She'd be able to take care of herself, and Doris, without my help. I could leave.
The thought sent a wave of both excitement and extreme bitterness through my chest.
I sighed to myself as I dumped ice in the well. Bad thing about working a bar on a Sunday, no one is coming in until after church hours. Which means I get to be alone with my thoughts until then.
"That's gonna be future me's issue," I said to the air, and busied myself with cutting fruit.
**************
Now, the GOOD thing about working the bar on a Sunday, or really any day, is that you know everyone who is going to walk through that door, and you know exactly what they're going to order.
Small towns like this, everyone old enough to drink is a regular. (Sometimes even people who aren't old enough to drink, but the sheriff doesn't need to know that.)
Preacher Richard is at the high top by the jukebox, drinking his Irish coffee that he tells everyone is just normal coffee, but no one believes him. I mean, I have a special pot I use just for him so no one sees me putting the shots in, but they can all still see me grab a different pot when I refill his cup. Plus, whiskey smells.
His wife is next to him, sipping ice water with EXTRA lemon, the surly old bitch. Tony the tire guy is playing pool with some of the guys from his shop, drinking round after round of Budweiser and whiskey shots. (Whiskey is very popular amongst us country folk.)
You have Mariah, the token rich girl, who married the quarterback. Or left fielder? Goalie? I don't know, but I know he drinks miller by the case while she sips on a vodka soda, pretending she's not too good for all of us.
Point is, I know everyone. Makes for a predictable day. What did I tell you?
Thirteen hour shifts are long, though, so when they're also mundane, you kind of start to feel like you're going crazy.
Until two extremely tall, extremely fit, extremely...(how do I say this politely?) fucking hot, strangers walk through the door.
I swear on Preacher Richards bald head, I'm not being dramatic when I say the bar went silent. Mariah's mouth was actually hanging open. So was Preacher Richards wife's. I had to stifle a laugh at that one.
They strolled up to the bar, so casually that you could tell they were trying SUPER hard to be casual.
"Well, I haven't said this in so long, I hope it comes out okay," I say, breaking the silence. "But what can I get for you gentlemen?"
Tony the tire guy laughs, and takes a shot, and the spell is broken. Mostly. You really can't completely break it, these guys were like six foot something and so beautiful I could weep. Also, there was the fact that they were glancing around like they expect Preacher Richard to stand up and pop them one.
"So...? Beer? Whiskey? Nuts?" I offered, waving a bowl of peanuts in front of them.
The man with the shorter...well, everything, let out a soft chuckle at that.
"I'll take a whiskey, double, on the rocks."
"You're gonna want to be a bit more specific, darlin, because if not, you stand the chance of me pouring you the whiskey that Tony the tire guy drinks, and I'm pretty sure we buy it FROM him. Like, he makes it in his basement."
The guy physically recoils. "You got makers?"
"Sure do, sweet cheeks." I turned to busy myself looking for the dusty bottle so he couldn't see the look on my face as I mentally chastised myself. Sweet cheeks? SWEET CHEEKS? I'm not some old lady working the counter at a diner in the 50's. I'm also not IN my 50's.
"Uh, ma'am. There's a bottle on the shelf right there." The man said, gesturing when I turned back to him.
"Well if you knew that, why'd you ask?" I tried to tease, hoping to pass that mortifying moment unscathed. I dropped a few ice cubes into a rocks glass, dumped a whole lot more than a double of makers in with it, and handed it to him. He looked mildly alarmed at the amount, but didn't comment. Smart man.
"And for your friend?"
"Uh, just a beer for me, thanks."
I raised my eyebrows at him.
"Right, right, specifics. Uh, miller is fine."
Pop goes the bottle. "Tab?"
"What?" The long one questioned.
"Do you want to start a tab? Cause I'm gonna need to hold a card."
"You hold cards here?" The whiskey drinker asked in disbelief.
"Well, normally, no. But to be frank with you, I don't know you two, and by the reaction of the half of the town currently sitting in my bar, neither does anyone else. I'd rather not have to pay the tab of some beautiful strangers when I'm probably already gonna have to cover Phil's tab, because I haven't seen him in like an hour, and he bought a round for everyone straight outta church."
Great, first actual vomit, then word vomit.
Both men were staring at me as if I was deranged, which I was starting to believe I might be, but Whiskey Man pulled out a card and handed it to me.
"Thank you..." I glanced down at the card, "Leonard??"
"He goes by Lenny." Long boy said. Lenny glared at him but shot me a sheepish grin.
At least I wasn't the only weird one. I went to type in their order and placed the card in the register.
"Question for you," Lenny said.
"Yeah?"
"Do beautiful strangers get discounts?"
My mind flashed back to my unintentional compliment and I felt my face start to flush, but I just shot back "Not when they go by Lenny."
Long boy laughed and Lenny looked offended. "Lenny is a good name!"
I winced and looked at his friend. "How long have you been telling him that lie?"
"Long enough for him to believe it." He said, taking a swig from his beer.
Just then, a loud, slurring voice sang out (incredibly off key), "Wiiiiinnnnieeeee." And Phil magically appeared from the bathroom.
"Winnie? Really? And you're making fun of my name?"
I shot him a glare and turned my back. "Well, Phil, I'm glad to see you're still here, cause you owe me about $70. Plus tip."
"Oh, Winnie, don't be like that. Another round!"
"Nope, no more rounds, Phil. In fact, I think it's time for you to head home." I made eye contact with Tony, and he put his pool stick down to walk over. "Will you grab his wallet for me?"
Tony stuck his hand down Phil's pocket, which used to make me laugh, but this happened so often that I just found it tiring.
"Here, Win. Keep the change," Tony tossed me a hundred.
Phil worked for him part time, when he was sober enough to get his head out of the toilet, but he had sold his dads farm off to some rich overlords, so he was rolling in dough.
As Tony lead Phil out, I noticed that the two newcomers had set themselves up at a table. I also noticed the deputy, who was off duty with a beer in hand but still had his badge on full view (probably because it was bigger than his dick. Seriously. I would know.), walk up to them with a swagger that only a small town cop could have. I wanted to spy, but Phil being escorted out is always the catalyst that ends the night. Preacher Richards wife pays for the "coffee", and no tip, though the man himself slips me a $50 for keeping his not-so-secret secret, Mariah pays for her husbands miller pack with a smile, etc.
I glance at the clock and sure enough, it's 9:30. I will never understand how these people spend all day at a bar. Regardless of the fact that, I, too, have spent my whole day here. It's different, ok? Anyway, by the time it was over, the deputy had warned the boys or puffed out his skinny chest or whatever it is he does, handed me a ten with a wink (ew) and left. I began cleaning up the trash, keeping an eye on the two.
"Was it something we said?" Lenny asked, sipping his whiskey.
"Well, they heard your name was Lenny, and they knew that this was no longer the cool spot in town," I wiped off rings on the bar, a little too aggressively, trying to stay calm.
"Really, Winnie?"
"It's Winsley, actually. Look, guys. Not to ruin the small town charm, but I close in 30 minutes. The gas station down the street is open til 11, if you wanna grab some beer for your hotel."
"Oh, yeah, that's our bad. Let's head out, Lenny."
"Oh, sure thing, Barry!"
A grimace crossed over Long Boys (Barry's?) face as I let out a surprised laugh.
"Lenny and Barry, really?"
I swiped their card and handed them the receipt.
"Yeah, our uh, our parents were stoners." Barry said.
"Oh, brothers. Couldn't tell if it was that or gay lovers."
"Yeah, I really wish we didn't get that as much as we do." Lenny said, signing the paper. "Anyway. You have a good night, sweet cheeks."
Goddamn, I thought I had overserved my way past that moment. I watched them leave with a tingle of disappointment. Excitement quota for the year in Lander has been met and just waltzed out of my bar.
I glanced down at the receipt. $100 tip. Well, hot damn. (Seriously, why do I keep talking like this??)
Authors note:
I should say that this is set somewhere in season 2. I'm going to follow the main storyline as closely as possible, but the hunts and such may be a bit out of order.
LMK what you think!
submitted by AuthorInHell to u/AuthorInHell [link] [comments]
I think I heard somewhere once that the worst days of your life start off the most mundane. Or maybe I just made that up to stop myself from overthinking every little moment that lead up to this one.
The morning started like any other (as I alluded to), birds were singing, annoyingly loud, and the sun was shining in a way that most people would describe as beautiful, but I'd describe it as sharp. Every beam of UV ray that fell from the sky jabbed into my eyes and back into my pounding skull.
"Doing alright there, Winnie?" A sweet voice asked. I looked up into Doris's eyes, full of a mixture of sympathy and amusement. I let out some kind of whine/groan and dropped my head back into my hands, where it belonged, shielding me from the offensively cheery woman standing in front of the offensively cheery light.
A loud clunk sounded and I peaked with one eye to see an empty bottle of tequila had appeared on the table in front of me. "I see you had quite the fun night," she laughed.
"Doris," I started, then stopped, wincing at the sound of my gravelly voice. I cleared my throat and started again. "Doris, woman of great kindness and wisdom, lady who hath helped raise me in this cruel and twisted world, I beg of you, get that goddamn bottle away from me, because if I catch one wiff of that stuff I'm gonna hurl."
"I'd be surprised if you have anything left in you to do so, considering the noises coming from the bathroom at 3am." The bottle was gone, tossed in the trash. I officially changed my stance on where my head belonged, picturing myself nestled in the white plastic alongside the empty carton of milk and the source of my shame.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. Polly and I were just so caught up in celebrating her graduation, I didn't even realize how much we had been drinking until-"
"Until it all came back up," Polly finished, stumbling into the kitchen. "Yeah, same."
Doris just shook her head at us, but there was a small smile on her lips. I grabbed her hand and looked up at her pleadingly.
"Forgive me, mommy Doris?"
"There's nothing to forgive, you two were just having some fun. But you are far too old to be giving me puppy dog eyes when you think you've done something wrong, Winnie!"
"Am I also far too old for you to keep calling me Winnie? I feel like I should be sitting here in nothing but a red t-shirt, sipping honey out of a bottle." I grumbled.
"Actually, I think you did that exact thing last night," Polly teased. "Except replace honey with tequila."
Doris laughed as I glared at her. "How in gods name are you not more hungover? You drank more than I did."
"Because she's 21, and you're 25. Old, Winnie dear, too old." Doris said as she walked out of the kitchen. My jaw dropped in mock outrage as I watched her go, glancing at Polly, who was trying to cover her chortles with a cup of coffee. It didn't go well.
"Okay, well this OLD LADY is going to go shower and get ready for work," I huffed.
"Don't forget to oil your knees, grandma."
I stole the coffee out of Polly's hands for that comment alone, and her protests followed me up to the shower.
**************
Okay, so maybe it didn't start out JUST like every other day. I don't wake up hungover all that often. More often than I should, yes, but hardly every day. Keeping up with a 21 year old is incredibly difficult.
Work, on the other hand, was exactly the same. Lights on at nine, jukebox playing some country song that was too sad to be playing this early in the morning, Richard shuffling in to get his Irish coffee before church so he didn't get the shakes in the middle of his sermon. Small country town, small country life, small country bar.
Small country girl.
Maybe not for much longer, though. I swore to myself years ago that I wouldn't be stuck in this town like everyone else, but then Jim died. Polly was only 14, and Doris was an old fashion housewife, staying home to raise her daughter. I, on the other hand, was 18, and when they had brought me into their home, Jim took one look at my temper and said he knew what to do with me. Taught me all he knew about hunting, guns, and even archery. He said he liked how the bow felt in his arms, and I did too.
Polly wasn't interested in any of it. She loved animals too much. I mean, I love animals too, don't get me wrong. Show me a puppy and I'm babbling nonsense with the rest of you. But there was always something peaceful about being in the woods, surrounded by nature.
Anyway, to get back on track, I became the man of the house. I got a job at the bar to start bringing in money, I fixed things that were broken around the house, sold deer meat and bear hides for extra money. Whatever I could to help them stay on their feet.
Now, though, now Polly had graduated. She already had a job lined up at the veterinarian office in town, where her fiancé also worked. She'd be able to take care of herself, and Doris, without my help. I could leave.
The thought sent a wave of both excitement and extreme bitterness through my chest.
I sighed to myself as I dumped ice in the well. Bad thing about working a bar on a Sunday, no one is coming in until after church hours. Which means I get to be alone with my thoughts until then.
"That's gonna be future me's issue," I said to the air, and busied myself with cutting fruit.
**************
Now, the GOOD thing about working the bar on a Sunday, or really any day, is that you know everyone who is going to walk through that door, and you know exactly what they're going to order.
Small towns like this, everyone old enough to drink is a regular. (Sometimes even people who aren't old enough to drink, but the sheriff doesn't need to know that.)
Preacher Richard is at the high top by the jukebox, drinking his Irish coffee that he tells everyone is just normal coffee, but no one believes him. I mean, I have a special pot I use just for him so no one sees me putting the shots in, but they can all still see me grab a different pot when I refill his cup. Plus, whiskey smells.
His wife is next to him, sipping ice water with EXTRA lemon, the surly old bitch. Tony the tire guy is playing pool with some of the guys from his shop, drinking round after round of Budweiser and whiskey shots. (Whiskey is very popular amongst us country folk.)
You have Mariah, the token rich girl, who married the quarterback. Or left fielder? Goalie? I don't know, but I know he drinks miller by the case while she sips on a vodka soda, pretending she's not too good for all of us.
Point is, I know everyone. Makes for a predictable day. What did I tell you?
Thirteen hour shifts are long, though, so when they're also mundane, you kind of start to feel like you're going crazy.
Until two extremely tall, extremely fit, extremely...(how do I say this politely?) fucking hot, strangers walk through the door.
I swear on Preacher Richards bald head, I'm not being dramatic when I say the bar went silent. Mariah's mouth was actually hanging open. So was Preacher Richards wife's. I had to stifle a laugh at that one.
They strolled up to the bar, so casually that you could tell they were trying SUPER hard to be casual.
"Well, I haven't said this in so long, I hope it comes out okay," I say, breaking the silence. "But what can I get for you gentlemen?"
Tony the tire guy laughs, and takes a shot, and the spell is broken. Mostly. You really can't completely break it, these guys were like six foot something and so beautiful I could weep. Also, there was the fact that they were glancing around like they expect Preacher Richard to stand up and pop them one.
"So...? Beer? Whiskey? Nuts?" I offered, waving a bowl of peanuts in front of them.
The man with the shorter...well, everything, let out a soft chuckle at that.
"I'll take a whiskey, double, on the rocks."
"You're gonna want to be a bit more specific, darlin, because if not, you stand the chance of me pouring you the whiskey that Tony the tire guy drinks, and I'm pretty sure we buy it FROM him. Like, he makes it in his basement."
The guy physically recoils. "You got makers?"
"Sure do, sweet cheeks." I turned to busy myself looking for the dusty bottle so he couldn't see the look on my face as I mentally chastised myself. Sweet cheeks? SWEET CHEEKS? I'm not some old lady working the counter at a diner in the 50's. I'm also not IN my 50's.
"Uh, ma'am. There's a bottle on the shelf right there." The man said, gesturing when I turned back to him.
"Well if you knew that, why'd you ask?" I tried to tease, hoping to pass that mortifying moment unscathed. I dropped a few ice cubes into a rocks glass, dumped a whole lot more than a double of makers in with it, and handed it to him. He looked mildly alarmed at the amount, but didn't comment. Smart man.
"And for your friend?"
"Uh, just a beer for me, thanks."
I raised my eyebrows at him.
"Right, right, specifics. Uh, miller is fine."
Pop goes the bottle. "Tab?"
"What?" The long one questioned.
"Do you want to start a tab? Cause I'm gonna need to hold a card."
"You hold cards here?" The whiskey drinker asked in disbelief.
"Well, normally, no. But to be frank with you, I don't know you two, and by the reaction of the half of the town currently sitting in my bar, neither does anyone else. I'd rather not have to pay the tab of some beautiful strangers when I'm probably already gonna have to cover Phil's tab, because I haven't seen him in like an hour, and he bought a round for everyone straight outta church."
Great, first actual vomit, then word vomit.
Both men were staring at me as if I was deranged, which I was starting to believe I might be, but Whiskey Man pulled out a card and handed it to me.
"Thank you..." I glanced down at the card, "Leonard??"
"He goes by Lenny." Long boy said. Lenny glared at him but shot me a sheepish grin.
At least I wasn't the only weird one. I went to type in their order and placed the card in the register.
"Question for you," Lenny said.
"Yeah?"
"Do beautiful strangers get discounts?"
My mind flashed back to my unintentional compliment and I felt my face start to flush, but I just shot back "Not when they go by Lenny."
Long boy laughed and Lenny looked offended. "Lenny is a good name!"
I winced and looked at his friend. "How long have you been telling him that lie?"
"Long enough for him to believe it." He said, taking a swig from his beer.
Just then, a loud, slurring voice sang out (incredibly off key), "Wiiiiinnnnieeeee." And Phil magically appeared from the bathroom.
"Winnie? Really? And you're making fun of my name?"
I shot him a glare and turned my back. "Well, Phil, I'm glad to see you're still here, cause you owe me about $70. Plus tip."
"Oh, Winnie, don't be like that. Another round!"
"Nope, no more rounds, Phil. In fact, I think it's time for you to head home." I made eye contact with Tony, and he put his pool stick down to walk over. "Will you grab his wallet for me?"
Tony stuck his hand down Phil's pocket, which used to make me laugh, but this happened so often that I just found it tiring.
"Here, Win. Keep the change," Tony tossed me a hundred.
Phil worked for him part time, when he was sober enough to get his head out of the toilet, but he had sold his dads farm off to some rich overlords, so he was rolling in dough.
As Tony lead Phil out, I noticed that the two newcomers had set themselves up at a table. I also noticed the deputy, who was off duty with a beer in hand but still had his badge on full view (probably because it was bigger than his dick. Seriously. I would know.), walk up to them with a swagger that only a small town cop could have. I wanted to spy, but Phil being escorted out is always the catalyst that ends the night. Preacher Richards wife pays for the "coffee", and no tip, though the man himself slips me a $50 for keeping his not-so-secret secret, Mariah pays for her husbands miller pack with a smile, etc.
I glance at the clock and sure enough, it's 9:30. I will never understand how these people spend all day at a bar. Regardless of the fact that, I, too, have spent my whole day here. It's different, ok? Anyway, by the time it was over, the deputy had warned the boys or puffed out his skinny chest or whatever it is he does, handed me a ten with a wink (ew) and left. I began cleaning up the trash, keeping an eye on the two.
"Was it something we said?" Lenny asked, sipping his whiskey.
"Well, they heard your name was Lenny, and they knew that this was no longer the cool spot in town," I wiped off rings on the bar, a little too aggressively, trying to stay calm.
"Really, Winnie?"
"It's Winsley, actually. Look, guys. Not to ruin the small town charm, but I close in 30 minutes. The gas station down the street is open til 11, if you wanna grab some beer for your hotel."
"Oh, yeah, that's our bad. Let's head out, Lenny."
"Oh, sure thing, Barry!"
A grimace crossed over Long Boys (Barry's?) face as I let out a surprised laugh.
"Lenny and Barry, really?"
I swiped their card and handed them the receipt.
"Yeah, our uh, our parents were stoners." Barry said.
"Oh, brothers. Couldn't tell if it was that or gay lovers."
"Yeah, I really wish we didn't get that as much as we do." Lenny said, signing the paper. "Anyway. You have a good night, sweet cheeks."
Goddamn, I thought I had overserved my way past that moment. I watched them leave with a tingle of disappointment. Excitement quota for the year in Lander has been met and just waltzed out of my bar.
I glanced down at the receipt. $100 tip. Well, hot damn. (Seriously, why do I keep talking like this??)
Authors note:
I should say that this is set somewhere in season 2. I'm going to follow the main storyline as closely as possible, but the hunts and such may be a bit out of order.
LMK what you think!
2023.06.09 00:51 sandwich_with_a_hat i am sorry
NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. : Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. JANET BENSON: Barry! Breakfast is ready! BARRY: Coming! : Hang on a second. (Barry uses his antenna like a phone) : Hello? ADAM FLAYMAN:
(Through phone) - Barry? BARRY: - Adam? ADAM: - Can you believe this is happening? BARRY: - I can't. I'll pick you up. (Barry flies down the stairs) : MARTIN BENSON: Looking sharp. JANET: Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. BARRY: Sorry. I'm excited. MARTIN: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. : A perfect report card, all B's. JANET: Very proud. (Rubs Barry's hair) BARRY= Ma! I got a thing going here. JANET: - You got lint on your fuzz. BARRY: - Ow! That's me!
JANET: - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! (Barry flies out the door) JANET: Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! (Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a newspaper) BARRY== - Hey, Adam. ADAM: - Hey, Barry. (Adam gets in Barry's car) : - Is that fuzz gel? BARRY: - A little. Special day, graduation. ADAM: Never thought I'd make it. (Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving) BARRY: Three days grade school, three days high school... ADAM: Those were awkward. BARRY: Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM== You did come back different. (Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging) ARTIE: - Hi, Barry!
BARRY: - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. ADAM: - Hear about Frankie? BARRY: - Yeah. ADAM== - You going to the funeral? BARRY: - No, I'm not going to his funeral. : Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. : Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. ADAM: I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. (The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the highway) : I love this incorporating an amusement park into our regular day. BARRY: I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations. (Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating students) Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. (Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats) : - Well, Adam, today we are men.
ADAM: - We are! BARRY= - Bee-men. =ADAM= - Amen! BARRY AND ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students, faculty, distinguished bees, : please welcome Dean Buzzwell. DEAN BUZZWELL: Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... : ...9: : That concludes our ceremonies. : And begins your career at Honex Industries! ADAM: Will we pick our job today? (Adam and Barry get into a tour bus) BARRY= I heard it's just orientation. (Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically loaded into the buses) TOUR GUIDE: Heads up! Here we go.
ANNOUNCER: Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. BARRY: - Wonder what it'll be like? ADAM: - A little scary. TOUR GUIDE== Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco : and a part of the Hexagon Group. Barry: This is it! BARRY AND ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive complicated Honey-making machines) TOUR GUIDE: We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life : to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. : Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. : Our top-secret formula : is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured : into this soothing sweet syrup : with its distinctive golden glow you know as... EVERYONE ON BUS: Honey! (The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back) ADAM: - That girl was hot. BARRY: - She's my cousin! ADAM== - She is? BARRY: - Yes, we're all cousins. ADAM: - Right. You're right. TOUR GUIDE: - At Honex, we constantly strive : to improve every aspect of bee existence. : These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. (The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but you can hear him groan) : ADAM==
BARRY: You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? ADAM: Like what? Give me one example. (Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect unison) BARRY: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. ANNOUNCER: Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY: Wait a second. Check it out. (The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line) : - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! ADAM: - Wow. : I've never seen them this close. BARRY: They know what it's like outside the hive. ADAM: Yeah, but some don't come back. GIRL BEES: - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! (The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar to trucks, which drive away)
LOU LO DUVA: You guys did great! : You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! (Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy) I love it! ADAM: - I wonder where they were. BARRY: - I don't know. : Their day's not planned. : Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. : You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. ADAM== Right. (Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. ADAM: It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. BARRY: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. (Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them)
ADAM== Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? BARRY: Distant. Distant. POLLEN JOCK #1: Look at these two. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Couple of Hive Harrys. POLLEN JOCK #1: - Let's have fun with them. GIRL BEE #1: It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. BARRY: Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! : He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! (Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario) GIRL BEE #2: - Oh, my! BARRY: - I never thought I'd knock him out. GIRL BEE #1: (Looking at Adam) What were you doing during this? ADAM: Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. BARRY: I can autograph that.
(The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and Adam really are pollen jocks.) POLLEN JOCK #1: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? BARRY: Yeah. Gusty. POLLEN JOCK #1: We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY: - Six miles, huh? ADAM: - Barry! POLLEN JOCK #2: A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. BARRY: - Maybe I am. ADAM: - You are not! POLLEN JOCK #1: We're going 0900 at J-Gate. : What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. (The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at night) MARTIN:
Hey, Honex! BARRY: Dad, you surprised me. MARTIN: You decide what you're interested in? BARRY: - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. : Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN: Son, let me tell you about stirring. : You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. : You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. BARRY: You know, Dad, the more I think about it, : maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. MARTIN: You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? : That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. :
Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! JANET: - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY: - I'm not trying to be funny. MARTIN: You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! JANET: - You're gonna be a stirrer? BARRY: - No one's listening to me! MARTIN: Wait till you see the sticks I have. BARRY: I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! (Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on) MARTIN: Let's open some honey and celebrate! BARRY: Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. : Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! JANET: I'm so proud. (The scene cuts to Barry and Adam waiting in line to get a job) ADAM: - We're starting work today!
BARRY: - Today's the day. ADAM: Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. BARRY: Yeah, right. JOB LISTER: Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Is it still available? JOB LISTER: - Hang on. Two left! : One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. ADAM: - What'd you get? BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Picking crud out. Stellar! (He walks away) ADAM: Wow! JOB LISTER: Couple of newbies? ADAM: Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! JOB LISTER: Make your choice. (Adam and Barry look up at the job board. There are hundreds of constantly changing panels that contain available or unavailable jobs. It looks very confusing)
ADAM: - You want to go first? BARRY: - No, you go. ADAM: Oh, my. What's available? JOB LISTER: Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. ADAM: - Any chance of getting the Krelman? JOB LISTER: - Sure, you're on. (Puts the Krelman finger-hat on Adam's head) (Suddenly the sign for Krelman closes out) : I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. (Takes Adam's hat off) Wax monkey's always open. ADAM: The Krelman opened up again. : What happened? JOB LISTER: A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. : Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. : Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!
ADAM: Oh, this is so hard! (Barry remembers what the Pollen Jock offered him and he flies off) Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, : humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, : mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? (Adam turns around and sees Barry flying away) : Barry! POLLEN JOCK: All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... ADAM: (Through phone) What happened to you? Where are you? BARRY: - I'm going out. ADAM: - Out? Out where? BARRY: - Out there. ADAM: - Oh, no! BARRY: I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM:
You're gonna die! You're crazy! (Barry hangs up) Hello? POLLEN JOCK #2: Another call coming in. : If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd : that gets their roses today. BARRY: Hey, guys. POLLEN JOCK #1 == - Look at that. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LO DUVA: Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. POLLEN JOCK #1: It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. (Puts hand on Barry's shoulder) LOU LO DUVA: (To Barry) Really? Feeling lucky, are you? BEE WITH CLIPBOARD: (To Barry) Sign here, here. Just initial that. : - Thank you. LOU LO DUVA: - OK. : You got a rain advisory today, :
and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. : So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, : hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. : Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. : Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! BARRY: - That's awful. LOU LO DUVA: (Still talking through megaphone) - And a reminder for you rookies, : bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! : All right, launch positions! POLLEN JOCKS: (The Pollen Jocks run into formation) : Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! LOU LU DUVA: Black and yellow! POLLEN JOCKS:
Hello! POLLEN JOCK #1: (To Barry)You ready for this, hot shot? BARRY: Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. POLLEN JOCK's: Wind, check. : - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. : - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. BARRY: Scared out of my shorts, check. LOU LO DUVA: OK, ladies, : let's move it out! : Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! : All of you, drain those flowers! (The pollen jocks fly out of the hive) BARRY: Wow! I'm out! : I can't believe I'm out! : So blue.
: I feel so fast and free! : Box kite! (Barry flies through the kite) : Wow! : Flowers! (A pollen jock puts on some high tech goggles that shows flowers similar to heat sink goggles.) POLLEN JOCK: This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. : Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. : Roses! POLLEN JOCK #1: 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. : Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. (The pollen jock fires a high-tech gun at the flower, shooting tubes that suck up the nectar from the flower and collects it into a pouch on the gun) BARRY: That is one nectar collector! POLLEN JOCK #1== - Ever see pollination up close? BARRY: - No, sir. POLLEN JOCK #1:
(Barry and the Pollen jock fly over the field, the pollen jock sprinkles pollen as he goes) : I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, : a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. BARRY: That's amazing. Why do we do that? POLLEN JOCK #1: That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN JOCK #1: I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. could be daisies. Don't we need those? POLLEN JOCK #2: Copy that visual. : Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. POLLEN JOCK #1: Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? POLLEN JOCK #2: Affirmative. (The Pollen jocks land near the "flowers" which, to the audience are obviously just tennis balls) KEN: (In the distance) That was on the line!
POLLEN JOCK #1: This is the coolest. What is it? POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't know, but I'm loving this color. : It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. POLLEN JOCK #1: Yeah, fuzzy. (Sticks his hand on the ball but it gets stuck) POLLEN JOCK #3== Chemical-y. (The pollen jock finally gets his hand free from the tennis ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. (The pollen jocks turn around and see Barry lying his entire body on top of one of the tennis balls) POLLEN JOCK #2: My sweet lord of bees! POLLEN JOCK #3: Candy-brain, get off there! POLLEN JOCK #1: (Pointing upwards) Problem! (A human hand reaches down and grabs the tennis ball that Barry is stuck to) BARRY: - Guys! POLLEN JOCK #2: - This could be bad. POLLEN JOCK #3: Affirmative. (Vanessa Bloome starts bouncing the tennis ball, not knowing Barry is stick to it)
BARRY== Very close. : Gonna hurt. : Mama's little boy. (Barry is being hit back and forth by two humans playing tennis. He is still stuck to the ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: You are way out of position, rookie! KEN: Coming in at you like a MISSILE! (Barry flies past the pollen jocks, still stuck to the ball) BARRY: (In slow motion) Help me! POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't think these are flowers. POLLEN JOCK #3: - Should we tell him? POLLEN JOCK #1: - I think he knows. BARRY: What is this?! KEN: Match point! : You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to EAT IT! (A pollen jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city) BARRY:
Yowser! (Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there) BARRY: Ew, gross. (The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry into the car) GIRL IN CAR: There's a bee in the car! : - Do something! DAD DRIVING CAR: - I'm driving! BABY GIRL: (Waving at Barry) - Hi, bee. (Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl) GUY IN BACK OF CAR: - He's back here! : He's going to sting me! GIRL IN CAR: Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! (Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car) : GRANDMA IN CAR== He blinked! (The grandma whips out some bee-spray and sprays everywhere in the car, climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry) GIRL IN CAR: Spray him, Granny! DAD DRIVING THE CAR: What are you doing?! (Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above
the ground, safe.) BARRY: Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. (Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds moving into this direction) : I gotta get home. : Can't fly in rain. : Can't fly in rain. (A rain drop hits Barry and one of his wings is damaged) : Can't fly in rain. (A second rain drop hits Barry again and he spirals downwards) Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! (WW2 plane sound effects are played as he plummets, and he crash-lands on a plant inside an apartment near the window) VANESSA BLOOME: Ken, could you close the window please? KEN== Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. : You see? (Folds brochure resume out) Folds out. (Ken closes the window, trapping Barry inside) BARRY: Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. (Barry tries to fly away but smashes into the window and falls again) : What was that?
(Barry keeps trying to fly out the window but he keeps being knocked back because the window is closed) Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... : Drapes! (Barry taps the glass. He doesn't understand what it is) That is diabolical. KEN: It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. ANDY: What's number one? Star Wars? KEN: Nah, I don't go for that... (Ken makes finger guns and makes "pew pew pew" sounds and then stops) : ...kind of stuff. BARRY: No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. KEN: When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. BARRY: (Looking at the light on the ceiling) There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. (Starts flying towards the lightbulb) : I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. (Barry hits the lightbulb and falls into the dip on the table that the humans are sitting at) KEN:
I predicted global warming. : I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. (Andy dips a chip into the bowl and scoops up some dip with Barry on it and is about to put it in his mouth) : Wait! Stop! Bee! (Andy drops the chip with Barry in fear and backs away. All the humans freak out) : Stand back. These are winter boots. (Ken has winter boots on his hands and he is about to smash the bee but Vanessa saves him last second) VANESSA: Wait! : Don't kill him! (Vanessa puts Barry in a glass to protect him) KEN: You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! VANESSA: Why does his life have less value than yours? KEN: Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? VANESSA: I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. (Vanessa picks up Ken's brochure and puts it under the glass so she can carry Barry back to the window. Barry looks at Vanessa in amazement) KEN:
My brochure! VANESSA: There you go, little guy. (Vanessa opens the window and lets Barry out but Barry stays back and is still shocked that a human saved his life) KEN: I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. VANESSA: Put that on your resume brochure. KEN: My whole face could puff up. ANDY: Make it one of your special skills. KEN: Knocking someone out is also a special skill. (Ken walks to the door) Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. : - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? VANESSA: - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. : (Vanessa tries to close door) KEN== - You could put carob chips on there. VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door but Ken opens it again) KEN: - Supposed to be less calories.
VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door) (Fast forward to the next day, Barry is still inside the house. He flies into the kitchen where Vanessa is doing dishes) BARRY== (Talking to himself) I gotta say something. : She saved my life. I gotta say something. : All right, here it goes. (Turns back) Nah. : What would I say? : I could really get in trouble. : It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. : I can't believe I'm doing this. : I've got to. (Barry disguises himself as a character on a food can as Vanessa walks by again) : Oh, I can't do it. Come on! : No. Yes. No. : Do it. I can't.
: How should I start it? (Barry strikes a pose and wiggles his eyebrows) "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. (Vanessa is about to walk past Barry) Here she comes! Speak, you fool! : ...Hi! (Vanessa gasps and drops the dishes in fright and notices Barry on the counter) : I'm sorry. VANESSA: - You're talking. BARRY: - Yes, I know. VANESSA: (Pointing at Barry) You're talking! BARRY: I'm so sorry. VANESSA: No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. : But I don't recall going to bed. BARRY: Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. VANESSA: This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!
BARRY: I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, (Pointing to the living room where Ken tried to kill him last night) but they were all trying to kill me. : And if it wasn't for you... : I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. (Vanessa stabs her hand with a fork to test whether she's dreaming or not) : That was a little weird. VANESSA: - I'm talking with a bee. BARRY: - Yeah. VANESSA: I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! BARRY: I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. (Barry turns to leave) VANESSA: - Wait! How did you learn to do that? BARRY: (Flying back) - What? VANESSA: The talking...thing. BARRY:
Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. VANESSA: - That's very funny. BARRY: - Yeah. : Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. : Anyway... VANESSA: Can I... : ...get you something? BARRY: - Like what? VANESSA: I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee? BARRY: I don't want to put you out. VANESSA: It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. : - It's just coffee. BARRY: - I hate to impose. (Vanessa starts making coffee) VANESSA: - Don't be ridiculous!
BARRY: - Actually, I would love a cup. VANESSA: Hey, you want rum cake? BARRY: - I shouldn't. VANESSA: - Have some. BARRY: - No, I can't. VANESSA: - Come on! BARRY: I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. VANESSA: - Where? BARRY: - These stripes don't help. VANESSA: You look great! BARRY: I don't know if you know anything about fashion. : Are you all right? VANESSA: (Pouring coffee on the floor and missing the cup completely) No. (Flash forward in time. Barry and Vanessa are sitting together at a table on top of the apartment building drinking coffee)
: BARRY== He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. : He finally gets there. : He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. : And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. : Why would I marry a watermelon?" (Barry laughs but Vanessa looks confused) VANESSA: Is that a bee joke? BARRY: That's the kind of stuff we do. VANESSA: Yeah, different. : So, what are you gonna do, Barry? (Barry stands on top of a sugar cube floating in his coffee and paddles it around with a straw like it's a gondola) BARRY: About work? I don't know. : I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. VANESSA: I know how you feel.
BARRY: - You do? VANESSA: - Sure. : My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. BARRY: - Really? VANESSA: - My only interest is flowers. BARRY: Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. : Anyway, if you look... (Barry points to a tree in the middle of Central Park) : There's my hive right there. See it? VANESSA: You're in Sheep Meadow! BARRY: Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! VANESSA: No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. BARRY: - Why do girls put rings on their toes? VANESSA: - Why not? BARRY:
ADAM: You did? Was she Bee-ish? : - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! BARRY: - No, no, no, not a wasp. ADAM: - Spider? BARRY: - I'm not attracted to spiders. : I know, for everyone else, it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. : I can't get by that face. ADAM: So who is she? BARRY: She's... human. ADAM: No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. BARRY: - Her name's Vanessa. (Adam puts his head in his hands) ADAM: - Oh, boy. BARRY== She's so nice. And she's a florist! ADAM: Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
BARRY: We're not dating. ADAM: You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes : with power washers and M-80s! That's one-eighth a stick of dynamite! BARRY: She saved my life! And she understands me. ADAM: This is over! BARRY: Eat this. (Barry gives Adam a piece of the crumb that he got from Vanessa. Adam eats it) ADAM: (Adam's tone changes) This is not over! What was that? BARRY: - They call it a crumb. ADAM: - It was so stingin' stripey! BARRY: And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! : - You know what a Cinnabon is? ADAM: - No. (Adam opens a door behind him and he pulls Barry in)
BARRY: It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. ADAM: Be quiet! BARRY: They heat it up... ADAM: Sit down! (Adam forces Barry to sit down) BARRY: (Still rambling about Cinnabons) ...really hot! (Adam grabs Barry by the shoulders) ADAM: - Listen to me! : We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! BARRY== Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? ADAM: There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! : You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! BARRY: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEE: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEES AND ADAM: Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! (Flash forward in time; Barry is laying on a raft in a pool full of honey. He is wearing sunglasses) JANET: There he is. He's in the pool. MARTIN: You know what your problem is, Barry? (Barry pulls down his sunglasses and he looks annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I gotta start thinking bee? JANET: How much longer will this go on? MARTIN: It's been three days! Why aren't you working? (Puts sunglasses back on) BARRY: I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. MARTIN: What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! JANET: Would it kill you to make a little honey? (Barry rolls off the raft and sinks into the honey pool) : Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. : Martin, would you talk to him? MARTIN:
Barry, I'm talking to you! (Barry keeps sinking into the honey until he is suddenly in Central Park having a picnic with Vanessa) (Barry has a cup of honey and he clinks his glass with Vanessas. Suddenly a mosquito lands on Vanessa and she slaps it, killing it. They both gasp but then burst out laughing) VANESSA: You coming? (The camera pans over and Vanessa is climbing into a small yellow airplane) BARRY: Got everything? VANESSA: All set! BARRY: Go ahead. I'll catch up. (Vanessa lifts off and flies ahead) VANESSA: Don't be too long. (Barry catches up with Vanessa and he sticks out his arms like ana irplane. He rolls from side to side, and Vanessa copies him with the airplane) VANESSA: Watch this! (Barry stays back and watches as Vanessa draws a heart in the air using pink smoke from the plane, but on the last loop-the-loop she suddenly crashes into a mountain and the plane explodes. The destroyed plane falls into some rocks and explodes a second time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As Barry is yelling his mouth fills with honey and he wakes up, discovering that he was just day dreaming. He slowly sinks back into the honey pool) MARTIN: - We're still here.
JANET: - I told you not to yell at him. : He doesn't respond to yelling! MARTIN: - Then why yell at me? JANET: - Because you don't listen! MARTIN: I'm not listening to this. BARRY: Sorry, I've gotta go. MARTIN: - Where are you going? BARRY: - I'm meeting a friend. JANET: A girl? Is this why you can't decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry flies out the door and Martin shakes his head) : JANET== I just hope she's Bee-ish. (Fast forward in time and Barry is sitting on Vanessa's shoulder and she is closing up her shop) BARRY: They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? VANESSA: To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!
: Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. BARRY: A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? VANESSA: No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? BARRY: It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. VANESSA: Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. BARRY: TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! VANESSA: You don't have that? BARRY: We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. VANESSA: Oh, my. (A human walks by and Barry narrowly avoids him) PASSERBY: Dumb bees! VANESSA: You must want to sting all those jerks. BARRY: We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us. VANESSA: So you have to watch your temper (They walk into a store) BARRY: Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, : write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: : Anger, jealousy, lust. (Suddenly an employee(Hector) hits Barry off of Vanessa's shoulder. Hector thinks he's saving Vanessa) VANESSA: (To Barry) Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? (Barry is getting up off the floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To Hector) - What is wrong with you?! HECTOR: (Confused) - It's a bug. VANESSA: He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! (Vanessa hits Hector across the face with the magazine he had and then hits him in the head. Hector backs away covering his head) Barry: What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? (Vanessa sets Barry back on her shoulder)
VANESSA: Yeah, it was. How did you know? BARRY: It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. VANESSA: You've really got that down to a science. BARRY: - Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. VANESSA: - I'll bet. (Barry looks to his right and notices there is honey for sale in the aisle) BARRY: What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? (Barry looks at all the brands of honey, shocked) How did this get here? Cute Bee, Golden Blossom, : Ray Liotta Private Select? (Barry puts his hands up and slowly turns around, a look of disgust on his face) VANESSA: - Is he that actor? BARRY: - I never heard of him. : - Why is this here? VANESSA: - For people. We eat it. BARRY:
You don't have enough food of your own?! (Hector looks back and notices that Vanessa is talking to Barry) VANESSA: - Well, yes. BARRY: - How do you get it? VANESSA: - Bees make it. BARRY: - I know who makes it! : And it's hard to make it! : There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! VANESSA: - It's organic. BARRY: - It's our-ganic! VANESSA: It's just honey, Barry. BARRY: Just what?! : Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! : You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! :
And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. : I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! (Flash forward in time; Barry paints his face with black strikes like a soldier and sneaks into the storage section of the store) (Two men, including Hector, are loading boxes into some trucks) : SUPERMARKET EMPLOYEE== Hey, Hector. : - You almost done? HECTOR: - Almost. (Barry takes a step to peak around the corner) (Whispering) He is here. I sense it. : Well, I guess I'll go home now (Hector pretends to walk away by walking in place and speaking loudly) : and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. BARRY: You're busted, box boy! HECTOR: I knew I heard something! So you can talk! BARRY: I can talk. And now you'll start talking! : Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier? HECTOR: I don't understand. I thought we were friends. : The last thing we want to do is upset bees! (Hector takes a thumbtack out of the board behind him and sword-fights Barry. Barry is using his stinger like a sword) : You're too late! It's ours now! BARRY: You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! HECTOR: You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! (Barry hits the thumbtack out of Hectors hand and Hector surrenders) Barry: Where is the honey coming from? : Tell me where! HECTOR: (Pointing to leaving truck) Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! (Barry chases after the truck but it is getting away. He flies onto a bicyclists' backpack and he catches up to the truck) CAR DRIVER: (To bicyclist) Crazy person! (Barry flies off and lands on the windshield of the Honey farms truck. Barry looks around and sees dead bugs splattered everywhere) BARRY: What horrible thing has happened here?
: These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now : they're on the road to nowhere! (Barry hears a sudden whisper) (Barry looks up and sees Mooseblood, a mosquito playing dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just keep still. BARRY: What? You're not dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? BARRY: To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! ANOTHER BUG PLAYING DEAD: I'm going to Tacoma. (Barry looks at another bug) BARRY: - And you? MOOSEBLOOD: - He really is dead. BARRY: All right. (Another bug hits the windshield and the drivers notice. They activate the windshield wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The windshield wipers are slowly sliding over the dead bugs and wiping
them off) BARRY: - What is that?! MOOSEBLOOD: - Oh, no! : - A wiper! Triple blade! BARRY: - Triple blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! (Mooseblood and Barry grab onto the wiper and they hold on as it wipes the windshield) Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! : How much do you people need to see?! (Bangs on windshield) : Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! RADIO IN TRUCK: From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But don't kill no more bugs! (Mooseblood and Barry are washed off by the wipr fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: - Bee! BARRY: - Moose blood guy!! (Barry starts screaming as he hangs onto the antenna) (Suddenly it is revealed that a water bug is also hanging on the antenna.
There is a pause and then Barry and the water bug both start screaming) TRUCK DRIVER: - You hear something? GUY IN TRUCK: - Like what? TRUCK DRIVER: Like tiny screaming. GUY IN TRUCK: Turn off the radio. (The antenna starts to lower until it gets to low and sinks into the truck. The water bug flies off and Barry is forced to let go and he is blown away. He luckily lands inside a horn on top of the truck where he finds Mooseblood, who was blown into the same place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup, bee boy? BARRY: Hey, Blood. (Fast forward in time and we see that Barry is deep in conversation with Mooseblood. They have been sitting in this truck for a while) BARRY: ...Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. : I mean, that honey's ours. MOOSEBLOOD: - Bees hang tight. BARRY:
BEEKEEPER #2: They make the honey, and we make the money. BARRY: "They make the honey, and we make the money"? (The Beekeeper sprays hundreds of cheap miniature apartments with the smoker. The bees are fainting or passing out) Oh, my! : What's going on? Are you OK? (Barry flies into one of the apartment and helps a Bee couple get off the ground. They are coughing and its hard for them to stand) BEE IN APARTMENT: Yeah. It doesn't last too long. BARRY: Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? BEE IN APPARTMENT: Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. (The apartment room is completely empty except for a photo on the wall of the "queen" who is obviously a man in women's clothes) BARRY: This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! : That's a drag queen! : What is this? (Barry flies out and he discovers that there are hundreds of these structures, each housing thousands of Bees) Oh, no! : There's hundreds of them! (Barry takes out his camera and takes pictures of these Bee work camps. The beekeepers look very evil in these depictions)
Bee honey. : Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! : This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. (Flash forward in time and Barry is showing these pictures to his parents) JANET: Oh, Barry, stop. MARTIN: Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. BARRY: Do these look like rumors? (Holds up the pictures) UNCLE CARL: That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. JANET: How did you get mixed up in this? ADAM: He's been talking to humans. JANET: - What? MARTIN: - Talking to humans?! ADAM: He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! JANET: Make out? Barry!
BARRY: We do not. ADAM: - You wish you could. MARTIN: - Whose side are you on? BARRY: The bees! UNCLE CARL: (He has been sitting in the back of the room this entire time) I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. JANET: Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? BARRY: I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! : Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked : your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. JANET: I remember that. BARRY: What right do they have to our honey? : We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
ADAM: Even if it's true, what can one bee do? BARRY: Sting them where it really hurts. MARTIN: In the face! The eye! : - That would hurt. BARRY: - No. MARTIN: Up the nose? That's a killer. BARRY: There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. (Flash forward a bit in time and we are watching the Bee News) BEE NEWS NARRATOR: Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. BEE PROTESTOR: No more bee beards! BEE NEWS NARRATOR: With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. : Weather with Storm Stinger. : Sports with Buzz Larvi. : And Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. JEANETTE CHUNG:
Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. KEN: But it's our yogurt night! VANESSA: (Holding door open for Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why is yogurt night so difficult?! (Ken leaves and Vanessa walks over to Barry. His workplace is a mess) VANESSA: You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! BARRY: Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. ADAM: - Frosting... - How many sugars? ==BARRY== Just one. I try not to use the competition. : So why are you helping me? VANESSA: Bees have good qualities. : And it takes my mind off the shop. : Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. BARRY:
Those are great, if you're three. VANESSA: And artificial flowers. BARRY: - Oh, those just get me psychotic! VANESSA: - Yeah, me too. : BARRY: Bent stingers, pointless pollination. ADAM: Bees must hate those fake things! : Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. : Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. VANESSA: - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. BARRY: - I guess. ADAM: You sure you want to go through with it? BARRY: Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able : to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! (Flash forward in time and we are watching the human news. The camera shows
a crowd outside a courthouse) NEWS REPORTER: It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, : where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, : we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. (We are no longer watching through a news camera) ADAM: What have we gotten into here, Barry? BARRY: It's pretty big, isn't it? ADAM== (Looking at the hundreds of people around the courthouse) I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. BARRY: You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? SECURITY GUARD: Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. (A limousine drives up and a fat man,Layton Montgomery, a honey industry owner gets out and walks past Barry) ADAM: - What's the matter? BARRY: - I don't know, I just got a chill. (Fast forward in time and everyone is in the court) MONTGOMERY: Well, if it isn't the bee team.
(To Honey Industry lawyers) You boys work on this? MAN: All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. JUDGE BUMBLETON: All right. Case number 4475, : Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry : is now in session. : Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? MONTGOMERY: A privilege. JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? (Everyone looks closely, they are waiting to see if a Bee can really talk) (Barry makes several buzzing sounds to sound like a Bee) BARRY: I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. JUDGE BUMBLBETON: Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, : my grandmother was a simple woman. :
Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right : to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. : If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, : just think of what would it mean. : I would have to negotiate with the silkworm : for the elastic in my britches! : Talking bee! (Montgomery walks over and looks closely at Barry) : How do we know this isn't some sort of : holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? : They could be using laser beams! : Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, : he could be on steroids! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson?
BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. : I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. : It's important to all bees. We invented it! : We make it. And we protect it with our lives. : Unfortunately, there are some people in this room : who think they can take it from us : 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, : you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have : but everything we are! JANET== (To Martin) I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Call your first witness. BARRY: So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have. KLAUSS VANDERHAYDEN: I suppose so. BARRY: I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! KLAUSS: Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. BARRY: Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. : I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) - No. BARRY: - I couldn't hear you. KLAUSS: - No. BARRY: - No. : Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, : it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. KLAUSS: They're very lovable creatures.
: Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You mean like this? (The bear from Over The Hedge barges in through the back door and it is roaring and standing on its hind legs. It is thrashing its claws and people are screaming. It is being held back by a guard who has the bear on a chain) : (Pointing to the roaring bear) Bears kill bees! : How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! : Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! JUDGE BUMBLETON: OK, that's enough. Take him away. (The bear stops roaring and thrashing and walks out) BARRY: So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. : - Where have I heard it before? MR. STING: - I was with a band called The Police. BARRY: But you've never been a police officer, have you? STING: No, I haven't. BARRY:
No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example : of bee culture casually stolen by a human : for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. STING: Oh, please. BARRY: Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? : Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. : Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's not his real name?! You idiots! BARRY: Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on : your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. RAY LIOTTA: Thank you. Thank you. BARRY: I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome : with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow. RAY LIOTTA: I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? BARRY: Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? : Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't : have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? RAY LIOTTA: Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! BARRY: This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! (Ray Liotta looses it and tries to grab Barry) RAY LIOTTA: Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! JUDGE BUMBLETON: - Order in this court! RAY LIOTTA: - You're all thinking it! (Judge Bumbleton starts banging her gavel) JUDGE BUMBLETON: Order! Order, I say! RAY LIOTTA: - Say it! MAN:
KEN: Do we? BARRY: Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's just what I was thinking about doing. (Ken reaches for a fork on the table but knocks if on the floor. He goes to pick it up) VANESSA: Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. (Ken quickly rises back up after hearing this but hits his head on the table and yells) BARRY: I'm going to drain the old stinger. KEN: Yeah, you do that. (Barry flies past Ken to get to the bathroom and Ken freaks out, splashing some of the wine he was using to cool his head in his eyes. He yells in anger) (Barry looks at the magazines featuring his victories in court) BARRY: Look at that. (Barry flies into the bathroom) (He puts his hand on his head but this makes hurts him and makes him even madder. He yells again) (Barry is washing his hands in the sink but then Ken walks in) KEN: You know, you know I've just about had it (Closes bathroom door behind him) with your little mind games. (Ken is menacingly rolling up a magazine) BARRY:
(Backing away) - What's that? KEN: - Italian Vogue. BARRY: Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. KEN: It's a lot of ads. BARRY: Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? KEN: That's funny, I just can't seem to recall that! (Ken smashes everything off the sink with the magazine and Barry narrowly escapes) (Ken follows Barry around and tries to hit him with the magazine but he keeps missing) (Ken gets a spray bottle) : I think something stinks in here! BARRY: (Enjoying the spray) I love the smell of flowers. (Ken holds a lighter in front of the spray bottle) KEN: How do you like the smell of flames?! BARRY: Not as much. (Ken fires his make-shift flamethrower but misses Barry, burning the bathroom. He torches the whole room but looses his footing and falls into the bathtub. After getting hit in the head by falling objects 3 times he picks up the shower head, revealing a Water bug hiding under it) WATER BUG: Water bug! Not taking sides!
(Barry gets up out of a pile of bathroom supplies and he is wearing a chapstick hat) BARRY: Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! (Ken switches the shower head to lethal) KEN: I've got issues! (Ken sprays Barry with the shower head and he crash lands into the toilet) (Ken menacingly looks down into the toilet at Barry) Well, well, well, a royal flush! BARRY: - You're bluffing. KEN: - Am I? (flushes toilet) (Barry grabs a chapstick from the toilet seat and uses it to surf in the flushing toilet) BARRY: Surf's up, dude! (Barry flies out of the toilet on the chapstick and sprays Ken's face with the toilet water) : EW,Poo water! BARRY: That bowl is gnarly. KEN: (Aiming a toilet cleaner at Barry) Except for those dirty yellow rings! (Barry cowers and covers his head and Vanessa runs in and takes the toilet cleaner from Ken just before he hits Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth! What are you doing?! KEN== (Leaning towards Barry)
You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! VANESSA: We need to talk! (Vanessa pulls Ken out of the bathroom) : He's just a little bee! : And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! KEN: Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? VANESSA: No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! KEN: Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... : My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye, Ken. (Ken huffs and walks out and slams the door. But suddenly he walks back in and stares at Barry) : And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners MADE BY MAN! (Ken leaves again and Vanessa leans in towards Barry) VANESSA: I'm sorry about all that. (Ken walks back in again)
KEN: I know it's got an aftertaste! I LIKE IT! (Ken leaves for the last time) VANESSA: I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. : I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. : Are you OK for the trial? BARRY: I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. (Flash forward in time and Barry, Adam, and Vanessa are back in court) MONTGOMERY-- We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. ADAM: Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... (Barry stares at Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. MONTGOMERY: Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around : is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. (To lawyer)
: Order, please! (Flash forward in time and we see a human news reporter) NEWS REPORTER: The case of the honeybees versus the human race : took a pointed turn against the bees : yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. (Adam is laying in a hospital bed and Barry flies in to see him) BARRY: - Hey, buddy. ADAM: - Hey. BARRY: - Is there much pain? ADAM: - Yeah. : I... : I blew the whole case, didn't I? BARRY: It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. ADAM: I'd be better off dead. Look at me. (A small plastic sword is replaced as Adam's stinger) They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
: Look, there's a little celery still on it. (Flicks off the celery and sighs) BARRY: What was it like to sting someone? ADAM: I can't explain it. It was all... : All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! BARRY: ...All right. ADAM: You think it was all a trap? BARRY: Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. : What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. ADAM: What will the humans do to us if they win? BARRY: I don't know. ADAM: I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. BARRY: Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!
ADAM: Oh, my. (Coughs) Could you get a nurse to close that window? BARRY: - Why? ADAM: - The smoke. (We can see that two humans are smoking cigarettes outside) : Bees don't smoke. BARRY: Right. Bees don't smoke. : Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. : That's it! That's our case! ADAM: It is? It's not over? BARRY: Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. : Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. (Flash forward in time and Adam is making a paper boat in the courtroom) ADAM: And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub! (We see that the jury have each made their own paper boats after being taught how by Adam. They all look confused) JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Mr. Flayman. ADAM: Yes? Yes, Your Honor! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Where is the rest of your team? ADAM: (Continues stalling) Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. : Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, : and as a result, we don't make very good time. : I actually heard a funny story about... MONTGOMERY: Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs : taken up enough of this court's valuable time? : How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? : They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges : against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. : I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going : to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. ADAM: But you can't! We have a terrific case. MONTGOMERY: Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? : Show me the smoking gun! BARRY: (Barry flies in through the door) Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? : Here is your smoking gun. (Vanessa walks in holding a bee smoker. She sets it down on the Judge's podium) JUDGE BUMBLETON: What is that? BARRY: It's a bee smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks up smoker) What, this? This harmless little contraption? : This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. (Montgomery accidentally fires it at the bees in the crowd and they faint
and cough) (Dozens of reporters start taking pictures of the suffering bees) BARRY: Look at what has happened : to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" : Is this what nature intended for us? : To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines : and man-made wooden slat work camps? : Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? (Barry points to the honey industry owners. One of them is an African American so he awkwardly separates himself from the others) LAWYER: - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! ADAM AND VANESSA: Free the bees! Free the bees! BEES IN CROWD: Free the bees! HUMAN JURY: Free the bees! Free the bees! JUDGE BUMBLETON: The court finds in favor of the bees!
BARRY: Vanessa, we won! VANESSA: I knew you could do it! High-five! (Vanessa hits Barry hard because her hand is too big) : Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm OK! You know what this means? : All the honey will finally belong to the bees. : Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. MONTGOMERY: This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. : You'll regret this. (Montgomery leaves and Barry goes outside the courtroom. Several reporters start asking Barry questions) REPORTER 1#: Barry, how much honey is out there? BARRY: All right. One at a time. REPORTER 2#: Barry, who are you wearing? BARRY: My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.
(Barry flies outside with the paparazzi and Adam and Vanessa stay back) ADAM: (To Vanessa) - What if Montgomery's right? Vanessa: - What do you mean? ADAM: We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to a man) BUSINESS MAN: Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? BARRY: First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. (As Barry is talking we see a montage of men putting "closed" tape over the work camps and freeing the bees in the crappy apartments) Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, : every last drop. (Men in suits are pushing all the honey of the aisle and into carts) We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more (We see a statue of a bear-shaped honey container being pulled down by bees) than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. : We're all aware of what they do in the woods. (We see Winnie the Pooh sharing his honey with Piglet in the cross-hairs of a high-tech sniper rifle) BARRY: (Looking through binoculars)
Wait for my signal. : Take him out. (Winnie gets hit by a tranquilizer dart and dramatically falls off the log he was standing on, his tongue hanging out. Piglet looks at Pooh in fear and the Sniper takes the honey.) SNIPER: He'll have nausea for a few hours, then he'll be fine. (Flash forward in time) BARRY: And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... (Mr. Sting is sitting at home until he is taken out of his house by the men in suits) STING: But it's just a prance-about stage name! BARRY: ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products : and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. (An old lady is mixing honey into her tea but suddenly men in suits smash her face down on the table and take the honey) OLD LADY: Can't breathe. (A honey truck pulls up to Barry's hive) WORKER: Bring it in, boys! : Hold it right there! Good. : Tap it.
(Tons of honey is being pumped into the hive's storage) BEE WORKER 1#: (Honey overflows from the cup) Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! : - I think we need to shut down! =BEE WORKER #2= - Shut down? We've never shut down. : Shut down honey production! DEAN BUZZWELL: Stop making honey! (The bees all leave their stations. Two bees run into a room and they put the keys into a machine) Turn your key, sir! (Two worker bees dramatically turn their keys, which opens the button which they press, shutting down the honey-making machines. This is the first time this has ever happened) BEE: ...What do we do now? (Flash forward in time and a Bee is about to jump into a pool full of honey) Cannonball! (The bee gets stuck in the honey and we get a short montage of Bees leaving work) (We see the Pollen Jocks flying but one of them gets a call on his antenna) LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") We're shutting honey production! : Mission abort. POLLEN JOCK #1: Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. (The Pollen Jocks fly back to the hive)
(We get a time lapse of Central Park slowly wilting away as the bees all relax) BARRY: Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. ADAM: Oh, yeah? BARRY: What's going on? Where is everybody? (The entire street is deserted) : - Are they out celebrating? ADAM: - They're home. : They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. : I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. BARRY: At least we got our honey back. ADAM: Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? : It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. : This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. :
And now... : Now I can't. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to Vanessa) BARRY: I don't understand why they're not happy. : I thought their lives would be better! : They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. VANESSA: You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? BARRY: - What did you want to show me? (Vanessa takes Barry to the rooftop where they first had coffee and points to her store) VANESSA: - This. (Points at her flowers. They are all grey and wilting) BARRY: What happened here? VANESSA: That is not the half of it. (Small flash forward in time and Vanessa and Barry are on the roof of her store and she points to Central Park) (We see that Central Park is no longer green and colorful, rather it is grey, brown, and dead-like. It is very depressing to look at) BARRY: Oh, no. Oh, my. :
They're all wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't look very good, does it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And whose fault do you think that is? BARRY: You know, I'm gonna guess bees. VANESSA== (Staring at Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically, me. : I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. VANESSA: It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. BARRY: That's our whole SAT test right there. VANESSA: Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. : And then, of course... BARRY: The human species? : So if there's no more pollination,
: it could all just go south here, couldn't it? VANESSA: I know this is also partly my fault. BARRY: How about a suicide pact? VANESSA: How do we do it? BARRY: - I'll sting you, you step on me. VANESSA: - That just kills you twice. BARRY: Right, right. VANESSA: Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. (Vanessa leaves) BARRY: (To himself) I had to open my mouth and talk. : Vanessa? : Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? (Vanessa is getting into a taxi) VANESSA: To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. :
They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. : It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. BARRY: Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. VANESSA: I know. Me neither. (The taxi starts to drive away) BARRY: Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. : Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? : Roses! : Vanessa! (Barry flies after the Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! : Barry? (Barry is flying outside the window of the taxi) BARRY: - Roses are flowers! VANESSA: - Yes, they are. BARRY: Flowers, bees, pollen!
VANESSA: I know. That's why this is the last parade. BARRY: Maybe not. Could you ask him to slow down? VANESSA: Could you slow down? (The taxi driver screeches to a stop and Barry keeps flying forward) : Barry! (Barry flies back to the window) BARRY: OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. VANESSA: Yes, it kind of is. BARRY: I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you : with the flower shop. I've made it worse. VANESSA: Actually, it's completely closed down. BARRY: I thought maybe you were remodeling. : But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. VANESSA: I don't want to hear it!
BARRY: All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. : I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. : All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. : - Bees. VANESSA: - Park. BARRY: - Pollen! VANESSA: - Flowers. BARRY: - Re-pollination! VANESSA: - Across the nation! : Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California. : They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. : Security will be tight. BARRY: I have an idea.
(Flash forward in time. Vanessa is about to board a plane which has all the Roses on board. VANESSA: Vanessa Bloome, FTD. (Holds out badge) : Official floral business. It's real. SECURITY GUARD: Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. =VANESSA== Thank you. It was a gift. (Barry is revealed to be hiding inside the brooch) (Flash back in time and Barry and Vanessa are discussing their plan) BARRY: Once inside, we just pick the right float. VANESSA: How about The Princess and the Pea? : I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! BARRY: Yes, I got it. : - Where should I sit? GUARD: - What are you? BARRY: - I believe I'm the pea. GUARD: - The pea? VANESSA:
It goes under the mattresses. GUARD: - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. VANESSA: You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! : Let's see what this baby'll do. (Vanessa drives the float through traffic) GUARD: Hey, what are you doing?! BARRY== Then all we do is blend in with traffic... : ...without arousing suspicion. : Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are about to get on a plane) SECURITY GUARD: Stop! Security. : - You and your insect pack your float? VANESSA: - Yes. SECURITY GUARD: Has it been in your possession the entire time? VANESSA: - Yes.
SECURITY GUARD: Would you remove your shoes? (To Barry) - Remove your stinger. BARRY: - It's part of me. SECURITY GUARD: I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. (Barry plotting with Vanessa) BARRY: Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are flying on the plane) Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! VANESSA: I think this is gonna work. BARRY: It's got to work. CAPTAIN SCOTT: (On intercom) Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. : We have a bit of bad weather in New York. : It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. VANESSA: Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. BARRY:
I gotta get up there and talk to them. VANESSA== Be careful. (Barry flies right outside the cockpit door) BARRY: Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. (The flight attendant opens the door and walks out and Barry flies into the cockpit unseen) BARRY: Captain, I'm in a real situation. CAPTAIN SCOTT: - What'd you say, Hal? CO-PILOT HAL: - Nothing. (Scott notices Barry and freaks out) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No,no,no, Don't freak out! My entire species... (Captain Scott gets out of his seat and tries to suck Barry into a handheld vacuum) HAL: (To Scott) What are you doing? (Barry lands on Hals hair but Scott sees him. He tries to suck up Barry but instead he sucks up Hals toupee) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
HAL: (Hal doesn't know Barry is on his head) - Who's an attorney? CAPTAIN SCOTT: Don't move. (Scott hits Hal in the face with the vacuum in an attempt to hit Barry. Hal is knocked out and he falls on the life raft button which launches an infalatable boat into Scott, who gets knocked out and falls to the floor. They are both uncounscious.) BARRY: (To himself) Oh, Barry. BARRY: (On intercom, with a Southern accent) Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. : Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? (Vanessa looks confused) (Normal accent) ...And please hurry! (Vanessa opens the door and sees the life raft and the uncounscious pilots) VANESSA: What happened here? BARRY: I tried to talk to them, but then there was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. : Now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is that another bee joke? BARRY:
REPORTER: (Talking with Bob Bumble) We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls : with absolutely no flight experience. BOB BUMBLE: Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. BUD: I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. : They've done enough damage. REPORTER: But isn't he your only hope? BUD: Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. : Their wings are too small... BARRY: (Through radio) Haven't we heard this a million times? : "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."... BOB BUMBLE: - Get this on the air! BEE: - Got it.
BEE NEWS CREW: - Stand by. BEE NEWS CREW: - We're going live! BARRY: (Through radio on TV) ...The way we work may be a mystery to you. : Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. : But let me tell you about a small job. : If you do it well, it makes a big difference. : More than we realized. To us, to everyone. : That's why I want to get bees back to working together. : That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. : We get behind a fellow. : - Black and yellow! BEES: - Hello! (The scene switches and Barry is teaching Vanessa how to fly) BARRY:
Left, right, down, hover. VANESSA: - Hover? BARRY: - Forget hover. VANESSA: This isn't so hard. (Pretending to honk the horn) Beep-beep! Beep-beep! (A Lightning bolt hits the plane and autopilot turns off) Barry, what happened?! BARRY: Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. VANESSA: - That may have been helping me. BARRY: - And now we're not! VANESSA: So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. (The plane plummets but we see Lou Lu Duva and the Pollen Jocks, along with multiple other bees flying towards the plane) Lou Lu DUva: All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! : Move out! (The scene switches back to Vanessa and Barry in the plane) BARRY: Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! (Barry sticks out his arms like an airplane and flys in front of Vanessa's face)
VANESSA: Don't have to yell. BARRY: I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. VANESSA: It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! BARRY: It's not a tone. I'm panicking! VANESSA: I can't do this! (Barry slaps Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! VANESSA: (Slaps Barry) You snap out of it. BARRY: (Slaps Vanessa) : You snap out of it. VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! (We see that all the Pollen Jocks are flying under the plane) VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it!
VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! VANESSA: - Hold it! BARRY: - Why? Come on, it's my turn. VANESSA: How is the plane flying? (The plane is now safely flying) VANESSA: I don't know. (Barry's antennae rings like a phone. Barry picks up) BARRY: Hello? LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? (All of the Pollen Jocks are carrying the plane) BARRY: The Pollen Jocks! : They do get behind a fellow. LOU LU DUVA: - Black and yellow. POLLEN JOCKS: - Hello. LOU LU DUVA: All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop. BARRY: Where? I can't see anything. Can you? VANESSA: No, nothing. It's all cloudy. : Come on. You got to think bee, Barry. BARRY: - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. (On the runway there are millions of bees laying on their backs) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. VANESSA: - What? BARRY: - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. : Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. : Bring the nose down. BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! CONTROL TOWER OPERATOR: - What in the world is on the tarmac? BUD: - Get some lights on that!
(It is revealed that all the bees are organized into a giant pulsating flower formation) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: - Vanessa, aim for the flower. VANESSA: - OK. BARRY: Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? LOU LU DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. : Land on that flower! : Ready? Full reverse! : Spin it around! (The plane's nose is pointed at a flower painted on a nearby plane) - Not that flower! The other one! VANESSA: - Which one? BARRY: - That flower. (The plane is now pointed at a fat guy in a flowered shirt. He freaks out and tries to take a picture of the plane) VANESSA: - I'm aiming at the flower!
BARRY: That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! (The plane hovers over the bee-flower) : Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. : Rotate around it. VANESSA: - This is insane, Barry! BARRY: - This's the only way I know how to fly. BUD: Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? (The plane is unrealistically hovering and spinning over the bee-flower) BARRY: Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! : Just drop it. Be a part of it. : Aim for the center! : Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! : Come on, already. (The bees scatter and the plane safely lands) VANESSA: Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!
BARRY: - Yes! (Vanessa is about to high-five Barry) No high-five! VANESSA: - Right. ADAM: Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? BARRY: What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! ADAM: - Thank you. BARRY: - But we're not done yet. : Listen, everyone! : This runway is covered with the last pollen : from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. : That means this is our last chance. : We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. : If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?
: Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? BEES: We're bees! BEE WHO LIKES KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then follow me! Except Keychain. POLLEN JOCK #1: Hold on, Barry. Here. : You've earned this. BARRY: Yeah! : I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. (The Pollen Jocks throw Barry a nectar-collecting gun. Barry catches it) Oh, yeah. JANET: That's our Barry. (Barry and the Pollen Jocks get pollen from the flowers on the plane) (Flash forward in time and the Pollen Jocks are flying over NYC) : (Barry pollinates the flowers in Vanessa's shop and then heads to Central Park) BOY IN PARK: Mom! The bees are back! ADAM: (Putting on his Krelman hat) If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time. : I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! (The bee honey factories are back up and running) (Meanwhile at Vanessa's shop) VANESSA: (To customer) Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next? : Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. (There is a room in the shop where Barry does legal work for other animals. He is currently talking with a Cow) COW: Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! : Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! BARRY: I had no idea. VANESSA: Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? BARRY: Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry I'm late. COW: He's a lawyer too?
MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am, I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. VANESSA: Have a great afternoon! : Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. BARRY: No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. VANESSA: You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next? BARRY: All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. VANESSA: Thank you, Barry! (Ken walks by on the sidewalk and sees the "bee-approved honey" in Vanessa's shop) KEN: That bee is living my life!! ANDY: Let it go, Kenny. KEN: - When will this nightmare end?! ANDY: - Let it all go. BARRY: - Beautiful day to fly. POLLEN JOCK:
submitted by sandwich_with_a_hat to bees [link] [comments]
(Through phone) - Barry? BARRY: - Adam? ADAM: - Can you believe this is happening? BARRY: - I can't. I'll pick you up. (Barry flies down the stairs) : MARTIN BENSON: Looking sharp. JANET: Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. BARRY: Sorry. I'm excited. MARTIN: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. : A perfect report card, all B's. JANET: Very proud. (Rubs Barry's hair) BARRY= Ma! I got a thing going here. JANET: - You got lint on your fuzz. BARRY: - Ow! That's me!
JANET: - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! (Barry flies out the door) JANET: Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! (Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a newspaper) BARRY== - Hey, Adam. ADAM: - Hey, Barry. (Adam gets in Barry's car) : - Is that fuzz gel? BARRY: - A little. Special day, graduation. ADAM: Never thought I'd make it. (Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving) BARRY: Three days grade school, three days high school... ADAM: Those were awkward. BARRY: Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM== You did come back different. (Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging) ARTIE: - Hi, Barry!
BARRY: - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. ADAM: - Hear about Frankie? BARRY: - Yeah. ADAM== - You going to the funeral? BARRY: - No, I'm not going to his funeral. : Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. : Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. ADAM: I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. (The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the highway) : I love this incorporating an amusement park into our regular day. BARRY: I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations. (Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating students) Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. (Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats) : - Well, Adam, today we are men.
ADAM: - We are! BARRY= - Bee-men. =ADAM= - Amen! BARRY AND ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students, faculty, distinguished bees, : please welcome Dean Buzzwell. DEAN BUZZWELL: Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... : ...9: : That concludes our ceremonies. : And begins your career at Honex Industries! ADAM: Will we pick our job today? (Adam and Barry get into a tour bus) BARRY= I heard it's just orientation. (Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically loaded into the buses) TOUR GUIDE: Heads up! Here we go.
ANNOUNCER: Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. BARRY: - Wonder what it'll be like? ADAM: - A little scary. TOUR GUIDE== Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco : and a part of the Hexagon Group. Barry: This is it! BARRY AND ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive complicated Honey-making machines) TOUR GUIDE: We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life : to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. : Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. : Our top-secret formula : is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured : into this soothing sweet syrup : with its distinctive golden glow you know as... EVERYONE ON BUS: Honey! (The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back) ADAM: - That girl was hot. BARRY: - She's my cousin! ADAM== - She is? BARRY: - Yes, we're all cousins. ADAM: - Right. You're right. TOUR GUIDE: - At Honex, we constantly strive : to improve every aspect of bee existence. : These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. (The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but you can hear him groan) : ADAM==
- What do you think he makes? BARRY:
- Not enough. TOUR GUIDE: Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. (They pass by a turning wheel with Bees standing on pegs, who are each wearing a finger-shaped hat) Barry:
- Wow, What does that do? TOUR GUIDE:
- Catches that little strand of honey : that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. ADAM: (Intrigued) Can anyone work on the Krelman? TOUR GUIDE: Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. : But choose carefully : because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. (Everyone claps except for Barry) BARRY: The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. ADAM:
BARRY: You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? ADAM: Like what? Give me one example. (Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect unison) BARRY: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. ANNOUNCER: Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY: Wait a second. Check it out. (The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line) : - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! ADAM: - Wow. : I've never seen them this close. BARRY: They know what it's like outside the hive. ADAM: Yeah, but some don't come back. GIRL BEES: - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! (The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar to trucks, which drive away)
LOU LO DUVA: You guys did great! : You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! (Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy) I love it! ADAM: - I wonder where they were. BARRY: - I don't know. : Their day's not planned. : Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. : You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. ADAM== Right. (Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. ADAM: It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. BARRY: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. (Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them)
ADAM== Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? BARRY: Distant. Distant. POLLEN JOCK #1: Look at these two. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Couple of Hive Harrys. POLLEN JOCK #1: - Let's have fun with them. GIRL BEE #1: It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. BARRY: Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! : He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! (Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario) GIRL BEE #2: - Oh, my! BARRY: - I never thought I'd knock him out. GIRL BEE #1: (Looking at Adam) What were you doing during this? ADAM: Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. BARRY: I can autograph that.
(The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and Adam really are pollen jocks.) POLLEN JOCK #1: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? BARRY: Yeah. Gusty. POLLEN JOCK #1: We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY: - Six miles, huh? ADAM: - Barry! POLLEN JOCK #2: A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. BARRY: - Maybe I am. ADAM: - You are not! POLLEN JOCK #1: We're going 0900 at J-Gate. : What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. (The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at night) MARTIN:
Hey, Honex! BARRY: Dad, you surprised me. MARTIN: You decide what you're interested in? BARRY: - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. : Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN: Son, let me tell you about stirring. : You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. : You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. BARRY: You know, Dad, the more I think about it, : maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. MARTIN: You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? : That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. :
Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! JANET: - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY: - I'm not trying to be funny. MARTIN: You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! JANET: - You're gonna be a stirrer? BARRY: - No one's listening to me! MARTIN: Wait till you see the sticks I have. BARRY: I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! (Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on) MARTIN: Let's open some honey and celebrate! BARRY: Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. : Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! JANET: I'm so proud. (The scene cuts to Barry and Adam waiting in line to get a job) ADAM: - We're starting work today!
BARRY: - Today's the day. ADAM: Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. BARRY: Yeah, right. JOB LISTER: Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Is it still available? JOB LISTER: - Hang on. Two left! : One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. ADAM: - What'd you get? BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Picking crud out. Stellar! (He walks away) ADAM: Wow! JOB LISTER: Couple of newbies? ADAM: Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! JOB LISTER: Make your choice. (Adam and Barry look up at the job board. There are hundreds of constantly changing panels that contain available or unavailable jobs. It looks very confusing)
ADAM: - You want to go first? BARRY: - No, you go. ADAM: Oh, my. What's available? JOB LISTER: Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. ADAM: - Any chance of getting the Krelman? JOB LISTER: - Sure, you're on. (Puts the Krelman finger-hat on Adam's head) (Suddenly the sign for Krelman closes out) : I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. (Takes Adam's hat off) Wax monkey's always open. ADAM: The Krelman opened up again. : What happened? JOB LISTER: A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. : Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. : Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!
ADAM: Oh, this is so hard! (Barry remembers what the Pollen Jock offered him and he flies off) Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, : humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, : mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? (Adam turns around and sees Barry flying away) : Barry! POLLEN JOCK: All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... ADAM: (Through phone) What happened to you? Where are you? BARRY: - I'm going out. ADAM: - Out? Out where? BARRY: - Out there. ADAM: - Oh, no! BARRY: I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM:
You're gonna die! You're crazy! (Barry hangs up) Hello? POLLEN JOCK #2: Another call coming in. : If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd : that gets their roses today. BARRY: Hey, guys. POLLEN JOCK #1 == - Look at that. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LO DUVA: Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. POLLEN JOCK #1: It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. (Puts hand on Barry's shoulder) LOU LO DUVA: (To Barry) Really? Feeling lucky, are you? BEE WITH CLIPBOARD: (To Barry) Sign here, here. Just initial that. : - Thank you. LOU LO DUVA: - OK. : You got a rain advisory today, :
and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. : So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, : hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. : Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. : Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! BARRY: - That's awful. LOU LO DUVA: (Still talking through megaphone) - And a reminder for you rookies, : bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! : All right, launch positions! POLLEN JOCKS: (The Pollen Jocks run into formation) : Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! LOU LU DUVA: Black and yellow! POLLEN JOCKS:
Hello! POLLEN JOCK #1: (To Barry)You ready for this, hot shot? BARRY: Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. POLLEN JOCK's: Wind, check. : - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. : - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. BARRY: Scared out of my shorts, check. LOU LO DUVA: OK, ladies, : let's move it out! : Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! : All of you, drain those flowers! (The pollen jocks fly out of the hive) BARRY: Wow! I'm out! : I can't believe I'm out! : So blue.
: I feel so fast and free! : Box kite! (Barry flies through the kite) : Wow! : Flowers! (A pollen jock puts on some high tech goggles that shows flowers similar to heat sink goggles.) POLLEN JOCK: This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. : Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. : Roses! POLLEN JOCK #1: 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. : Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. (The pollen jock fires a high-tech gun at the flower, shooting tubes that suck up the nectar from the flower and collects it into a pouch on the gun) BARRY: That is one nectar collector! POLLEN JOCK #1== - Ever see pollination up close? BARRY: - No, sir. POLLEN JOCK #1:
(Barry and the Pollen jock fly over the field, the pollen jock sprinkles pollen as he goes) : I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, : a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. BARRY: That's amazing. Why do we do that? POLLEN JOCK #1: That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN JOCK #1: I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. could be daisies. Don't we need those? POLLEN JOCK #2: Copy that visual. : Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. POLLEN JOCK #1: Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? POLLEN JOCK #2: Affirmative. (The Pollen jocks land near the "flowers" which, to the audience are obviously just tennis balls) KEN: (In the distance) That was on the line!
POLLEN JOCK #1: This is the coolest. What is it? POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't know, but I'm loving this color. : It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. POLLEN JOCK #1: Yeah, fuzzy. (Sticks his hand on the ball but it gets stuck) POLLEN JOCK #3== Chemical-y. (The pollen jock finally gets his hand free from the tennis ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. (The pollen jocks turn around and see Barry lying his entire body on top of one of the tennis balls) POLLEN JOCK #2: My sweet lord of bees! POLLEN JOCK #3: Candy-brain, get off there! POLLEN JOCK #1: (Pointing upwards) Problem! (A human hand reaches down and grabs the tennis ball that Barry is stuck to) BARRY: - Guys! POLLEN JOCK #2: - This could be bad. POLLEN JOCK #3: Affirmative. (Vanessa Bloome starts bouncing the tennis ball, not knowing Barry is stick to it)
BARRY== Very close. : Gonna hurt. : Mama's little boy. (Barry is being hit back and forth by two humans playing tennis. He is still stuck to the ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: You are way out of position, rookie! KEN: Coming in at you like a MISSILE! (Barry flies past the pollen jocks, still stuck to the ball) BARRY: (In slow motion) Help me! POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't think these are flowers. POLLEN JOCK #3: - Should we tell him? POLLEN JOCK #1: - I think he knows. BARRY: What is this?! KEN: Match point! : You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to EAT IT! (A pollen jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city) BARRY:
Yowser! (Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there) BARRY: Ew, gross. (The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry into the car) GIRL IN CAR: There's a bee in the car! : - Do something! DAD DRIVING CAR: - I'm driving! BABY GIRL: (Waving at Barry) - Hi, bee. (Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl) GUY IN BACK OF CAR: - He's back here! : He's going to sting me! GIRL IN CAR: Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! (Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car) : GRANDMA IN CAR== He blinked! (The grandma whips out some bee-spray and sprays everywhere in the car, climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry) GIRL IN CAR: Spray him, Granny! DAD DRIVING THE CAR: What are you doing?! (Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above
the ground, safe.) BARRY: Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. (Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds moving into this direction) : I gotta get home. : Can't fly in rain. : Can't fly in rain. (A rain drop hits Barry and one of his wings is damaged) : Can't fly in rain. (A second rain drop hits Barry again and he spirals downwards) Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! (WW2 plane sound effects are played as he plummets, and he crash-lands on a plant inside an apartment near the window) VANESSA BLOOME: Ken, could you close the window please? KEN== Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. : You see? (Folds brochure resume out) Folds out. (Ken closes the window, trapping Barry inside) BARRY: Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. (Barry tries to fly away but smashes into the window and falls again) : What was that?
(Barry keeps trying to fly out the window but he keeps being knocked back because the window is closed) Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... : Drapes! (Barry taps the glass. He doesn't understand what it is) That is diabolical. KEN: It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. ANDY: What's number one? Star Wars? KEN: Nah, I don't go for that... (Ken makes finger guns and makes "pew pew pew" sounds and then stops) : ...kind of stuff. BARRY: No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. KEN: When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. BARRY: (Looking at the light on the ceiling) There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. (Starts flying towards the lightbulb) : I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. (Barry hits the lightbulb and falls into the dip on the table that the humans are sitting at) KEN:
I predicted global warming. : I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. (Andy dips a chip into the bowl and scoops up some dip with Barry on it and is about to put it in his mouth) : Wait! Stop! Bee! (Andy drops the chip with Barry in fear and backs away. All the humans freak out) : Stand back. These are winter boots. (Ken has winter boots on his hands and he is about to smash the bee but Vanessa saves him last second) VANESSA: Wait! : Don't kill him! (Vanessa puts Barry in a glass to protect him) KEN: You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! VANESSA: Why does his life have less value than yours? KEN: Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? VANESSA: I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. (Vanessa picks up Ken's brochure and puts it under the glass so she can carry Barry back to the window. Barry looks at Vanessa in amazement) KEN:
My brochure! VANESSA: There you go, little guy. (Vanessa opens the window and lets Barry out but Barry stays back and is still shocked that a human saved his life) KEN: I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. VANESSA: Put that on your resume brochure. KEN: My whole face could puff up. ANDY: Make it one of your special skills. KEN: Knocking someone out is also a special skill. (Ken walks to the door) Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. : - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? VANESSA: - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. : (Vanessa tries to close door) KEN== - You could put carob chips on there. VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door but Ken opens it again) KEN: - Supposed to be less calories.
VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door) (Fast forward to the next day, Barry is still inside the house. He flies into the kitchen where Vanessa is doing dishes) BARRY== (Talking to himself) I gotta say something. : She saved my life. I gotta say something. : All right, here it goes. (Turns back) Nah. : What would I say? : I could really get in trouble. : It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. : I can't believe I'm doing this. : I've got to. (Barry disguises himself as a character on a food can as Vanessa walks by again) : Oh, I can't do it. Come on! : No. Yes. No. : Do it. I can't.
: How should I start it? (Barry strikes a pose and wiggles his eyebrows) "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. (Vanessa is about to walk past Barry) Here she comes! Speak, you fool! : ...Hi! (Vanessa gasps and drops the dishes in fright and notices Barry on the counter) : I'm sorry. VANESSA: - You're talking. BARRY: - Yes, I know. VANESSA: (Pointing at Barry) You're talking! BARRY: I'm so sorry. VANESSA: No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. : But I don't recall going to bed. BARRY: Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. VANESSA: This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!
BARRY: I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, (Pointing to the living room where Ken tried to kill him last night) but they were all trying to kill me. : And if it wasn't for you... : I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. (Vanessa stabs her hand with a fork to test whether she's dreaming or not) : That was a little weird. VANESSA: - I'm talking with a bee. BARRY: - Yeah. VANESSA: I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! BARRY: I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. (Barry turns to leave) VANESSA: - Wait! How did you learn to do that? BARRY: (Flying back) - What? VANESSA: The talking...thing. BARRY:
Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. VANESSA: - That's very funny. BARRY: - Yeah. : Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. : Anyway... VANESSA: Can I... : ...get you something? BARRY: - Like what? VANESSA: I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee? BARRY: I don't want to put you out. VANESSA: It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. : - It's just coffee. BARRY: - I hate to impose. (Vanessa starts making coffee) VANESSA: - Don't be ridiculous!
BARRY: - Actually, I would love a cup. VANESSA: Hey, you want rum cake? BARRY: - I shouldn't. VANESSA: - Have some. BARRY: - No, I can't. VANESSA: - Come on! BARRY: I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. VANESSA: - Where? BARRY: - These stripes don't help. VANESSA: You look great! BARRY: I don't know if you know anything about fashion. : Are you all right? VANESSA: (Pouring coffee on the floor and missing the cup completely) No. (Flash forward in time. Barry and Vanessa are sitting together at a table on top of the apartment building drinking coffee)
: BARRY== He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. : He finally gets there. : He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. : And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. : Why would I marry a watermelon?" (Barry laughs but Vanessa looks confused) VANESSA: Is that a bee joke? BARRY: That's the kind of stuff we do. VANESSA: Yeah, different. : So, what are you gonna do, Barry? (Barry stands on top of a sugar cube floating in his coffee and paddles it around with a straw like it's a gondola) BARRY: About work? I don't know. : I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. VANESSA: I know how you feel.
BARRY: - You do? VANESSA: - Sure. : My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. BARRY: - Really? VANESSA: - My only interest is flowers. BARRY: Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. : Anyway, if you look... (Barry points to a tree in the middle of Central Park) : There's my hive right there. See it? VANESSA: You're in Sheep Meadow! BARRY: Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! VANESSA: No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. BARRY: - Why do girls put rings on their toes? VANESSA: - Why not? BARRY:
- It's like putting a hat on your knee. VANESSA:
- Maybe I'll try that. (A custodian installing a lightbulb looks over at them but to his perspective it looks like Vanessa is talking to a cup of coffee on the table) CUSTODIAN:
- You all right, ma'am? VANESSA:
- Oh, yeah. Fine. : Just having two cups of coffee! BARRY: Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. VANESSA== Yeah, it's no trouble. BARRY: Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. (Barry points towards the rum cake) : Can I take a piece of this with me? VANESSA: Sure! Here, have a crumb. (Vanessa hands Barry a crumb but it is still pretty big for Barry) BARRY:
- Thanks! VANESSA:
- Yeah. BARRY: All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around.
: Or not. VANESSA: OK, Barry... BARRY: And thank you so much again... for before. VANESSA: Oh, that? That was nothing. BARRY: Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... (Vanessa and Barry hold hands, but Vanessa has to hold out a finger because her hands is to big and Barry holds that) (The custodian looks over again and it appears Vanessa is laughing at her coffee again. The lightbulb that he was screwing in sparks and he falls off the ladder) (Fast forward in time and we see two Bee Scientists testing out a parachute in a Honex wind tunnel) BEE SCIENTIST #1: This can't possibly work. BEE SCIENTIST #2: He's all set to go. We may as well try it. : OK, Dave, pull the chute. (Dave pulls the chute and the wind slams him against the wall and he falls on his face.The camera pans over and we see Barry and Adam walking together) ADAM: - Sounds amazing. BARRY:
- It was amazing! : It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.
ADAM: You did? Was she Bee-ish? : - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! BARRY: - No, no, no, not a wasp. ADAM: - Spider? BARRY: - I'm not attracted to spiders. : I know, for everyone else, it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. : I can't get by that face. ADAM: So who is she? BARRY: She's... human. ADAM: No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. BARRY: - Her name's Vanessa. (Adam puts his head in his hands) ADAM: - Oh, boy. BARRY== She's so nice. And she's a florist! ADAM: Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
BARRY: We're not dating. ADAM: You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes : with power washers and M-80s! That's one-eighth a stick of dynamite! BARRY: She saved my life! And she understands me. ADAM: This is over! BARRY: Eat this. (Barry gives Adam a piece of the crumb that he got from Vanessa. Adam eats it) ADAM: (Adam's tone changes) This is not over! What was that? BARRY: - They call it a crumb. ADAM: - It was so stingin' stripey! BARRY: And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! : - You know what a Cinnabon is? ADAM: - No. (Adam opens a door behind him and he pulls Barry in)
BARRY: It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. ADAM: Be quiet! BARRY: They heat it up... ADAM: Sit down! (Adam forces Barry to sit down) BARRY: (Still rambling about Cinnabons) ...really hot! (Adam grabs Barry by the shoulders) ADAM: - Listen to me! : We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! BARRY== Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? ADAM: There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! : You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! BARRY: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEE: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEES AND ADAM: Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! (Flash forward in time; Barry is laying on a raft in a pool full of honey. He is wearing sunglasses) JANET: There he is. He's in the pool. MARTIN: You know what your problem is, Barry? (Barry pulls down his sunglasses and he looks annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I gotta start thinking bee? JANET: How much longer will this go on? MARTIN: It's been three days! Why aren't you working? (Puts sunglasses back on) BARRY: I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. MARTIN: What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! JANET: Would it kill you to make a little honey? (Barry rolls off the raft and sinks into the honey pool) : Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. : Martin, would you talk to him? MARTIN:
Barry, I'm talking to you! (Barry keeps sinking into the honey until he is suddenly in Central Park having a picnic with Vanessa) (Barry has a cup of honey and he clinks his glass with Vanessas. Suddenly a mosquito lands on Vanessa and she slaps it, killing it. They both gasp but then burst out laughing) VANESSA: You coming? (The camera pans over and Vanessa is climbing into a small yellow airplane) BARRY: Got everything? VANESSA: All set! BARRY: Go ahead. I'll catch up. (Vanessa lifts off and flies ahead) VANESSA: Don't be too long. (Barry catches up with Vanessa and he sticks out his arms like ana irplane. He rolls from side to side, and Vanessa copies him with the airplane) VANESSA: Watch this! (Barry stays back and watches as Vanessa draws a heart in the air using pink smoke from the plane, but on the last loop-the-loop she suddenly crashes into a mountain and the plane explodes. The destroyed plane falls into some rocks and explodes a second time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As Barry is yelling his mouth fills with honey and he wakes up, discovering that he was just day dreaming. He slowly sinks back into the honey pool) MARTIN: - We're still here.
JANET: - I told you not to yell at him. : He doesn't respond to yelling! MARTIN: - Then why yell at me? JANET: - Because you don't listen! MARTIN: I'm not listening to this. BARRY: Sorry, I've gotta go. MARTIN: - Where are you going? BARRY: - I'm meeting a friend. JANET: A girl? Is this why you can't decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry flies out the door and Martin shakes his head) : JANET== I just hope she's Bee-ish. (Fast forward in time and Barry is sitting on Vanessa's shoulder and she is closing up her shop) BARRY: They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? VANESSA: To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!
: Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. BARRY: A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? VANESSA: No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? BARRY: It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. VANESSA: Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. BARRY: TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! VANESSA: You don't have that? BARRY: We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. VANESSA: Oh, my. (A human walks by and Barry narrowly avoids him) PASSERBY: Dumb bees! VANESSA: You must want to sting all those jerks. BARRY: We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us. VANESSA: So you have to watch your temper (They walk into a store) BARRY: Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, : write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: : Anger, jealousy, lust. (Suddenly an employee(Hector) hits Barry off of Vanessa's shoulder. Hector thinks he's saving Vanessa) VANESSA: (To Barry) Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? (Barry is getting up off the floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To Hector) - What is wrong with you?! HECTOR: (Confused) - It's a bug. VANESSA: He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! (Vanessa hits Hector across the face with the magazine he had and then hits him in the head. Hector backs away covering his head) Barry: What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? (Vanessa sets Barry back on her shoulder)
VANESSA: Yeah, it was. How did you know? BARRY: It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. VANESSA: You've really got that down to a science. BARRY: - Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. VANESSA: - I'll bet. (Barry looks to his right and notices there is honey for sale in the aisle) BARRY: What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? (Barry looks at all the brands of honey, shocked) How did this get here? Cute Bee, Golden Blossom, : Ray Liotta Private Select? (Barry puts his hands up and slowly turns around, a look of disgust on his face) VANESSA: - Is he that actor? BARRY: - I never heard of him. : - Why is this here? VANESSA: - For people. We eat it. BARRY:
You don't have enough food of your own?! (Hector looks back and notices that Vanessa is talking to Barry) VANESSA: - Well, yes. BARRY: - How do you get it? VANESSA: - Bees make it. BARRY: - I know who makes it! : And it's hard to make it! : There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! VANESSA: - It's organic. BARRY: - It's our-ganic! VANESSA: It's just honey, Barry. BARRY: Just what?! : Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! : You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! :
And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. : I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! (Flash forward in time; Barry paints his face with black strikes like a soldier and sneaks into the storage section of the store) (Two men, including Hector, are loading boxes into some trucks) : SUPERMARKET EMPLOYEE== Hey, Hector. : - You almost done? HECTOR: - Almost. (Barry takes a step to peak around the corner) (Whispering) He is here. I sense it. : Well, I guess I'll go home now (Hector pretends to walk away by walking in place and speaking loudly) : and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. BARRY: You're busted, box boy! HECTOR: I knew I heard something! So you can talk! BARRY: I can talk. And now you'll start talking! : Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier? HECTOR: I don't understand. I thought we were friends. : The last thing we want to do is upset bees! (Hector takes a thumbtack out of the board behind him and sword-fights Barry. Barry is using his stinger like a sword) : You're too late! It's ours now! BARRY: You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! HECTOR: You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! (Barry hits the thumbtack out of Hectors hand and Hector surrenders) Barry: Where is the honey coming from? : Tell me where! HECTOR: (Pointing to leaving truck) Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! (Barry chases after the truck but it is getting away. He flies onto a bicyclists' backpack and he catches up to the truck) CAR DRIVER: (To bicyclist) Crazy person! (Barry flies off and lands on the windshield of the Honey farms truck. Barry looks around and sees dead bugs splattered everywhere) BARRY: What horrible thing has happened here?
: These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now : they're on the road to nowhere! (Barry hears a sudden whisper) (Barry looks up and sees Mooseblood, a mosquito playing dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just keep still. BARRY: What? You're not dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? BARRY: To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! ANOTHER BUG PLAYING DEAD: I'm going to Tacoma. (Barry looks at another bug) BARRY: - And you? MOOSEBLOOD: - He really is dead. BARRY: All right. (Another bug hits the windshield and the drivers notice. They activate the windshield wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The windshield wipers are slowly sliding over the dead bugs and wiping
them off) BARRY: - What is that?! MOOSEBLOOD: - Oh, no! : - A wiper! Triple blade! BARRY: - Triple blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! (Mooseblood and Barry grab onto the wiper and they hold on as it wipes the windshield) Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! : How much do you people need to see?! (Bangs on windshield) : Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! RADIO IN TRUCK: From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But don't kill no more bugs! (Mooseblood and Barry are washed off by the wipr fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: - Bee! BARRY: - Moose blood guy!! (Barry starts screaming as he hangs onto the antenna) (Suddenly it is revealed that a water bug is also hanging on the antenna.
There is a pause and then Barry and the water bug both start screaming) TRUCK DRIVER: - You hear something? GUY IN TRUCK: - Like what? TRUCK DRIVER: Like tiny screaming. GUY IN TRUCK: Turn off the radio. (The antenna starts to lower until it gets to low and sinks into the truck. The water bug flies off and Barry is forced to let go and he is blown away. He luckily lands inside a horn on top of the truck where he finds Mooseblood, who was blown into the same place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup, bee boy? BARRY: Hey, Blood. (Fast forward in time and we see that Barry is deep in conversation with Mooseblood. They have been sitting in this truck for a while) BARRY: ...Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. : I mean, that honey's ours. MOOSEBLOOD: - Bees hang tight. BARRY:
- We're all jammed in. : It's a close community. MOOSEBLOOD: Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. BARRY:
- What if you get in trouble? MOOSEBLOOD:
- You a mosquito, you in trouble. : Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! BARRY: At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. MOOSEBLOOD: Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. : Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. (An ambulance passes by and it has a blood donation sign on it) You got to be kidding me! : Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! (Mooseblood leaves and flies onto the window of the ambulance where there are other mosquito's hanging out) :
- Hey, guys! OTHER MOSQUITO:
- Mooseblood!
BEEKEEPER #2: They make the honey, and we make the money. BARRY: "They make the honey, and we make the money"? (The Beekeeper sprays hundreds of cheap miniature apartments with the smoker. The bees are fainting or passing out) Oh, my! : What's going on? Are you OK? (Barry flies into one of the apartment and helps a Bee couple get off the ground. They are coughing and its hard for them to stand) BEE IN APARTMENT: Yeah. It doesn't last too long. BARRY: Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? BEE IN APPARTMENT: Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. (The apartment room is completely empty except for a photo on the wall of the "queen" who is obviously a man in women's clothes) BARRY: This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! : That's a drag queen! : What is this? (Barry flies out and he discovers that there are hundreds of these structures, each housing thousands of Bees) Oh, no! : There's hundreds of them! (Barry takes out his camera and takes pictures of these Bee work camps. The beekeepers look very evil in these depictions)
Bee honey. : Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! : This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. (Flash forward in time and Barry is showing these pictures to his parents) JANET: Oh, Barry, stop. MARTIN: Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. BARRY: Do these look like rumors? (Holds up the pictures) UNCLE CARL: That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. JANET: How did you get mixed up in this? ADAM: He's been talking to humans. JANET: - What? MARTIN: - Talking to humans?! ADAM: He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! JANET: Make out? Barry!
BARRY: We do not. ADAM: - You wish you could. MARTIN: - Whose side are you on? BARRY: The bees! UNCLE CARL: (He has been sitting in the back of the room this entire time) I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. JANET: Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? BARRY: I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! : Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked : your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. JANET: I remember that. BARRY: What right do they have to our honey? : We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
ADAM: Even if it's true, what can one bee do? BARRY: Sting them where it really hurts. MARTIN: In the face! The eye! : - That would hurt. BARRY: - No. MARTIN: Up the nose? That's a killer. BARRY: There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. (Flash forward a bit in time and we are watching the Bee News) BEE NEWS NARRATOR: Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. BEE PROTESTOR: No more bee beards! BEE NEWS NARRATOR: With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. : Weather with Storm Stinger. : Sports with Buzz Larvi. : And Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. JEANETTE CHUNG:
- And I'm Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, : intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, : packaging it and profiting from it illegally! JEANETTE CHUNG: Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, : we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, : Classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. (The scene changes to an interview on the news with Bee version of Larry King and Barry) BEE LARRY KING: Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. : Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? BARRY: Bees have never been afraid to change the world. : What about Bee Columbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? BEE LARRY KING: Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.
: We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. BARRY: How old are you? BEE LARRY KING: The bee community is supporting you in this case, : which will be the trial of the bee century. BARRY: You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. BEE LARRY KING: It's a common name. Next week... BARRY: He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... BEE LARRY KING: Next week... BARRY: Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. BEE LARRY KING: Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here, live. (Bee Larry King gets annoyed and flies away offscreen) BARRY: Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. (Flash forward in time. We see Vanessa enter and Ken enters behind her. They are arguing)
Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. KEN: But it's our yogurt night! VANESSA: (Holding door open for Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why is yogurt night so difficult?! (Ken leaves and Vanessa walks over to Barry. His workplace is a mess) VANESSA: You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! BARRY: Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. ADAM: - Frosting... - How many sugars? ==BARRY== Just one. I try not to use the competition. : So why are you helping me? VANESSA: Bees have good qualities. : And it takes my mind off the shop. : Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. BARRY:
Those are great, if you're three. VANESSA: And artificial flowers. BARRY: - Oh, those just get me psychotic! VANESSA: - Yeah, me too. : BARRY: Bent stingers, pointless pollination. ADAM: Bees must hate those fake things! : Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. : Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. VANESSA: - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. BARRY: - I guess. ADAM: You sure you want to go through with it? BARRY: Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able : to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! (Flash forward in time and we are watching the human news. The camera shows
a crowd outside a courthouse) NEWS REPORTER: It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, : where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, : we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. (We are no longer watching through a news camera) ADAM: What have we gotten into here, Barry? BARRY: It's pretty big, isn't it? ADAM== (Looking at the hundreds of people around the courthouse) I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. BARRY: You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? SECURITY GUARD: Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. (A limousine drives up and a fat man,Layton Montgomery, a honey industry owner gets out and walks past Barry) ADAM: - What's the matter? BARRY: - I don't know, I just got a chill. (Fast forward in time and everyone is in the court) MONTGOMERY: Well, if it isn't the bee team.
(To Honey Industry lawyers) You boys work on this? MAN: All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. JUDGE BUMBLETON: All right. Case number 4475, : Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry : is now in session. : Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? MONTGOMERY: A privilege. JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? (Everyone looks closely, they are waiting to see if a Bee can really talk) (Barry makes several buzzing sounds to sound like a Bee) BARRY: I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. JUDGE BUMBLBETON: Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, : my grandmother was a simple woman. :
Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right : to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. : If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, : just think of what would it mean. : I would have to negotiate with the silkworm : for the elastic in my britches! : Talking bee! (Montgomery walks over and looks closely at Barry) : How do we know this isn't some sort of : holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? : They could be using laser beams! : Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, : he could be on steroids! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson?
BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. : I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. : It's important to all bees. We invented it! : We make it. And we protect it with our lives. : Unfortunately, there are some people in this room : who think they can take it from us : 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, : you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have : but everything we are! JANET== (To Martin) I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Call your first witness. BARRY: So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have. KLAUSS VANDERHAYDEN: I suppose so. BARRY: I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! KLAUSS: Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. BARRY: Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. : I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) - No. BARRY: - I couldn't hear you. KLAUSS: - No. BARRY: - No. : Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, : it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. KLAUSS: They're very lovable creatures.
: Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You mean like this? (The bear from Over The Hedge barges in through the back door and it is roaring and standing on its hind legs. It is thrashing its claws and people are screaming. It is being held back by a guard who has the bear on a chain) : (Pointing to the roaring bear) Bears kill bees! : How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! : Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! JUDGE BUMBLETON: OK, that's enough. Take him away. (The bear stops roaring and thrashing and walks out) BARRY: So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. : - Where have I heard it before? MR. STING: - I was with a band called The Police. BARRY: But you've never been a police officer, have you? STING: No, I haven't. BARRY:
No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example : of bee culture casually stolen by a human : for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. STING: Oh, please. BARRY: Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? : Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. : Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's not his real name?! You idiots! BARRY: Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on : your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. RAY LIOTTA: Thank you. Thank you. BARRY: I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome : with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow. RAY LIOTTA: I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? BARRY: Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? : Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't : have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? RAY LIOTTA: Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! BARRY: This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! (Ray Liotta looses it and tries to grab Barry) RAY LIOTTA: Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! JUDGE BUMBLETON: - Order in this court! RAY LIOTTA: - You're all thinking it! (Judge Bumbleton starts banging her gavel) JUDGE BUMBLETON: Order! Order, I say! RAY LIOTTA: - Say it! MAN:
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down! (We see a montage of magazines which feature the court case) (Flash forward in time and Barry is back home with Vanessa) BARRY: I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. VANESSA: I think the jury's on our side. BARRY: Are we doing everything right,you know, legally? VANESSA: I'm a florist. BARRY: Right. Well, here's to a great team. VANESSA: To a great team! (Ken walks in from work. He sees Barry and he looks upset when he sees Barry clinking his glass with Vanessa) KEN: Well, hello. VANESSA:
- Oh, Ken! BARRY:
- Hello! VANESSA: I didn't think you were coming. : No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... (Ken holds up his phone and flips it open. The phone has no charge) ...the battery... VANESSA:
KEN: Do we? BARRY: Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's just what I was thinking about doing. (Ken reaches for a fork on the table but knocks if on the floor. He goes to pick it up) VANESSA: Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. (Ken quickly rises back up after hearing this but hits his head on the table and yells) BARRY: I'm going to drain the old stinger. KEN: Yeah, you do that. (Barry flies past Ken to get to the bathroom and Ken freaks out, splashing some of the wine he was using to cool his head in his eyes. He yells in anger) (Barry looks at the magazines featuring his victories in court) BARRY: Look at that. (Barry flies into the bathroom) (He puts his hand on his head but this makes hurts him and makes him even madder. He yells again) (Barry is washing his hands in the sink but then Ken walks in) KEN: You know, you know I've just about had it (Closes bathroom door behind him) with your little mind games. (Ken is menacingly rolling up a magazine) BARRY:
(Backing away) - What's that? KEN: - Italian Vogue. BARRY: Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. KEN: It's a lot of ads. BARRY: Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? KEN: That's funny, I just can't seem to recall that! (Ken smashes everything off the sink with the magazine and Barry narrowly escapes) (Ken follows Barry around and tries to hit him with the magazine but he keeps missing) (Ken gets a spray bottle) : I think something stinks in here! BARRY: (Enjoying the spray) I love the smell of flowers. (Ken holds a lighter in front of the spray bottle) KEN: How do you like the smell of flames?! BARRY: Not as much. (Ken fires his make-shift flamethrower but misses Barry, burning the bathroom. He torches the whole room but looses his footing and falls into the bathtub. After getting hit in the head by falling objects 3 times he picks up the shower head, revealing a Water bug hiding under it) WATER BUG: Water bug! Not taking sides!
(Barry gets up out of a pile of bathroom supplies and he is wearing a chapstick hat) BARRY: Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! (Ken switches the shower head to lethal) KEN: I've got issues! (Ken sprays Barry with the shower head and he crash lands into the toilet) (Ken menacingly looks down into the toilet at Barry) Well, well, well, a royal flush! BARRY: - You're bluffing. KEN: - Am I? (flushes toilet) (Barry grabs a chapstick from the toilet seat and uses it to surf in the flushing toilet) BARRY: Surf's up, dude! (Barry flies out of the toilet on the chapstick and sprays Ken's face with the toilet water) : EW,Poo water! BARRY: That bowl is gnarly. KEN: (Aiming a toilet cleaner at Barry) Except for those dirty yellow rings! (Barry cowers and covers his head and Vanessa runs in and takes the toilet cleaner from Ken just before he hits Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth! What are you doing?! KEN== (Leaning towards Barry)
You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! VANESSA: We need to talk! (Vanessa pulls Ken out of the bathroom) : He's just a little bee! : And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! KEN: Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? VANESSA: No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! KEN: Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... : My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye, Ken. (Ken huffs and walks out and slams the door. But suddenly he walks back in and stares at Barry) : And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners MADE BY MAN! (Ken leaves again and Vanessa leans in towards Barry) VANESSA: I'm sorry about all that. (Ken walks back in again)
KEN: I know it's got an aftertaste! I LIKE IT! (Ken leaves for the last time) VANESSA: I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. : I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. : Are you OK for the trial? BARRY: I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. (Flash forward in time and Barry, Adam, and Vanessa are back in court) MONTGOMERY-- We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. ADAM: Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... (Barry stares at Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. MONTGOMERY: Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around : is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. (To lawyer)
- You got the tweezers? LAWYER:
- Are you allergic? MONTGOMERY: Only to losing, son. Only to losing. : Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. : What exactly is your relationship (Points to Vanessa) : to that woman? BARRY: We're friends. MONTGOMERY:
- Good friends? BARRY:
- Yes. MONTGOMERY: How good? Do you live together? ADAM: Wait a minute... : MONTGOMERY: Are you her little... : ...bedbug? (Adam's stinger starts vibrating. He is agitated) I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand,
: doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? BARRY: - Yeah, but... MONTGOMERY: (Pointing at Janet and Martin)
- So those aren't your real parents! JANET:
- Oh, Barry... BARRY:
- Yes, they are! ADAM: Hold me back! (Vanessa tries to hold Adam back. He wants to sting Montgomery) MONTGOMERY: You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? ADAM: He's denouncing bees! MONTGOMERY: Don't y'all date your cousins? (Montgomery leans over on the jury stand and stares at Adam) VANESSA:
- Objection! (Vanessa raises her hand to object but Adam gets free. He flies straight at Montgomery) =ADAM:
- I'm going to pincushion this guy! BARRY: Adam, don't! It's what he wants! (Adam stings Montgomery in the butt and he starts thrashing around)
: Order, please! (Flash forward in time and we see a human news reporter) NEWS REPORTER: The case of the honeybees versus the human race : took a pointed turn against the bees : yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. (Adam is laying in a hospital bed and Barry flies in to see him) BARRY: - Hey, buddy. ADAM: - Hey. BARRY: - Is there much pain? ADAM: - Yeah. : I... : I blew the whole case, didn't I? BARRY: It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. ADAM: I'd be better off dead. Look at me. (A small plastic sword is replaced as Adam's stinger) They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
: Look, there's a little celery still on it. (Flicks off the celery and sighs) BARRY: What was it like to sting someone? ADAM: I can't explain it. It was all... : All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! BARRY: ...All right. ADAM: You think it was all a trap? BARRY: Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. : What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. ADAM: What will the humans do to us if they win? BARRY: I don't know. ADAM: I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. BARRY: Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!
ADAM: Oh, my. (Coughs) Could you get a nurse to close that window? BARRY: - Why? ADAM: - The smoke. (We can see that two humans are smoking cigarettes outside) : Bees don't smoke. BARRY: Right. Bees don't smoke. : Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. : That's it! That's our case! ADAM: It is? It's not over? BARRY: Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. : Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. (Flash forward in time and Adam is making a paper boat in the courtroom) ADAM: And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub! (We see that the jury have each made their own paper boats after being taught how by Adam. They all look confused) JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Mr. Flayman. ADAM: Yes? Yes, Your Honor! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Where is the rest of your team? ADAM: (Continues stalling) Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. : Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, : and as a result, we don't make very good time. : I actually heard a funny story about... MONTGOMERY: Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs : taken up enough of this court's valuable time? : How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? : They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges : against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. : I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going : to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. ADAM: But you can't! We have a terrific case. MONTGOMERY: Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? : Show me the smoking gun! BARRY: (Barry flies in through the door) Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? : Here is your smoking gun. (Vanessa walks in holding a bee smoker. She sets it down on the Judge's podium) JUDGE BUMBLETON: What is that? BARRY: It's a bee smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks up smoker) What, this? This harmless little contraption? : This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. (Montgomery accidentally fires it at the bees in the crowd and they faint
and cough) (Dozens of reporters start taking pictures of the suffering bees) BARRY: Look at what has happened : to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" : Is this what nature intended for us? : To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines : and man-made wooden slat work camps? : Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? (Barry points to the honey industry owners. One of them is an African American so he awkwardly separates himself from the others) LAWYER: - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! ADAM AND VANESSA: Free the bees! Free the bees! BEES IN CROWD: Free the bees! HUMAN JURY: Free the bees! Free the bees! JUDGE BUMBLETON: The court finds in favor of the bees!
BARRY: Vanessa, we won! VANESSA: I knew you could do it! High-five! (Vanessa hits Barry hard because her hand is too big) : Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm OK! You know what this means? : All the honey will finally belong to the bees. : Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. MONTGOMERY: This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. : You'll regret this. (Montgomery leaves and Barry goes outside the courtroom. Several reporters start asking Barry questions) REPORTER 1#: Barry, how much honey is out there? BARRY: All right. One at a time. REPORTER 2#: Barry, who are you wearing? BARRY: My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.
(Barry flies outside with the paparazzi and Adam and Vanessa stay back) ADAM: (To Vanessa) - What if Montgomery's right? Vanessa: - What do you mean? ADAM: We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to a man) BUSINESS MAN: Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? BARRY: First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. (As Barry is talking we see a montage of men putting "closed" tape over the work camps and freeing the bees in the crappy apartments) Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, : every last drop. (Men in suits are pushing all the honey of the aisle and into carts) We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more (We see a statue of a bear-shaped honey container being pulled down by bees) than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. : We're all aware of what they do in the woods. (We see Winnie the Pooh sharing his honey with Piglet in the cross-hairs of a high-tech sniper rifle) BARRY: (Looking through binoculars)
Wait for my signal. : Take him out. (Winnie gets hit by a tranquilizer dart and dramatically falls off the log he was standing on, his tongue hanging out. Piglet looks at Pooh in fear and the Sniper takes the honey.) SNIPER: He'll have nausea for a few hours, then he'll be fine. (Flash forward in time) BARRY: And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... (Mr. Sting is sitting at home until he is taken out of his house by the men in suits) STING: But it's just a prance-about stage name! BARRY: ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products : and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. (An old lady is mixing honey into her tea but suddenly men in suits smash her face down on the table and take the honey) OLD LADY: Can't breathe. (A honey truck pulls up to Barry's hive) WORKER: Bring it in, boys! : Hold it right there! Good. : Tap it.
(Tons of honey is being pumped into the hive's storage) BEE WORKER 1#: (Honey overflows from the cup) Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! : - I think we need to shut down! =BEE WORKER #2= - Shut down? We've never shut down. : Shut down honey production! DEAN BUZZWELL: Stop making honey! (The bees all leave their stations. Two bees run into a room and they put the keys into a machine) Turn your key, sir! (Two worker bees dramatically turn their keys, which opens the button which they press, shutting down the honey-making machines. This is the first time this has ever happened) BEE: ...What do we do now? (Flash forward in time and a Bee is about to jump into a pool full of honey) Cannonball! (The bee gets stuck in the honey and we get a short montage of Bees leaving work) (We see the Pollen Jocks flying but one of them gets a call on his antenna) LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") We're shutting honey production! : Mission abort. POLLEN JOCK #1: Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. (The Pollen Jocks fly back to the hive)
(We get a time lapse of Central Park slowly wilting away as the bees all relax) BARRY: Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. ADAM: Oh, yeah? BARRY: What's going on? Where is everybody? (The entire street is deserted) : - Are they out celebrating? ADAM: - They're home. : They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. : I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. BARRY: At least we got our honey back. ADAM: Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? : It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. : This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. :
And now... : Now I can't. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to Vanessa) BARRY: I don't understand why they're not happy. : I thought their lives would be better! : They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. VANESSA: You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? BARRY: - What did you want to show me? (Vanessa takes Barry to the rooftop where they first had coffee and points to her store) VANESSA: - This. (Points at her flowers. They are all grey and wilting) BARRY: What happened here? VANESSA: That is not the half of it. (Small flash forward in time and Vanessa and Barry are on the roof of her store and she points to Central Park) (We see that Central Park is no longer green and colorful, rather it is grey, brown, and dead-like. It is very depressing to look at) BARRY: Oh, no. Oh, my. :
They're all wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't look very good, does it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And whose fault do you think that is? BARRY: You know, I'm gonna guess bees. VANESSA== (Staring at Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically, me. : I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. VANESSA: It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. BARRY: That's our whole SAT test right there. VANESSA: Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. : And then, of course... BARRY: The human species? : So if there's no more pollination,
: it could all just go south here, couldn't it? VANESSA: I know this is also partly my fault. BARRY: How about a suicide pact? VANESSA: How do we do it? BARRY: - I'll sting you, you step on me. VANESSA: - That just kills you twice. BARRY: Right, right. VANESSA: Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. (Vanessa leaves) BARRY: (To himself) I had to open my mouth and talk. : Vanessa? : Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? (Vanessa is getting into a taxi) VANESSA: To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. :
They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. : It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. BARRY: Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. VANESSA: I know. Me neither. (The taxi starts to drive away) BARRY: Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. : Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? : Roses! : Vanessa! (Barry flies after the Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! : Barry? (Barry is flying outside the window of the taxi) BARRY: - Roses are flowers! VANESSA: - Yes, they are. BARRY: Flowers, bees, pollen!
VANESSA: I know. That's why this is the last parade. BARRY: Maybe not. Could you ask him to slow down? VANESSA: Could you slow down? (The taxi driver screeches to a stop and Barry keeps flying forward) : Barry! (Barry flies back to the window) BARRY: OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. VANESSA: Yes, it kind of is. BARRY: I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you : with the flower shop. I've made it worse. VANESSA: Actually, it's completely closed down. BARRY: I thought maybe you were remodeling. : But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. VANESSA: I don't want to hear it!
BARRY: All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. : I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. : All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. : - Bees. VANESSA: - Park. BARRY: - Pollen! VANESSA: - Flowers. BARRY: - Re-pollination! VANESSA: - Across the nation! : Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California. : They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. : Security will be tight. BARRY: I have an idea.
(Flash forward in time. Vanessa is about to board a plane which has all the Roses on board. VANESSA: Vanessa Bloome, FTD. (Holds out badge) : Official floral business. It's real. SECURITY GUARD: Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. =VANESSA== Thank you. It was a gift. (Barry is revealed to be hiding inside the brooch) (Flash back in time and Barry and Vanessa are discussing their plan) BARRY: Once inside, we just pick the right float. VANESSA: How about The Princess and the Pea? : I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! BARRY: Yes, I got it. : - Where should I sit? GUARD: - What are you? BARRY: - I believe I'm the pea. GUARD: - The pea? VANESSA:
It goes under the mattresses. GUARD: - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. VANESSA: You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! : Let's see what this baby'll do. (Vanessa drives the float through traffic) GUARD: Hey, what are you doing?! BARRY== Then all we do is blend in with traffic... : ...without arousing suspicion. : Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are about to get on a plane) SECURITY GUARD: Stop! Security. : - You and your insect pack your float? VANESSA: - Yes. SECURITY GUARD: Has it been in your possession the entire time? VANESSA: - Yes.
SECURITY GUARD: Would you remove your shoes? (To Barry) - Remove your stinger. BARRY: - It's part of me. SECURITY GUARD: I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. (Barry plotting with Vanessa) BARRY: Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are flying on the plane) Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! VANESSA: I think this is gonna work. BARRY: It's got to work. CAPTAIN SCOTT: (On intercom) Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. : We have a bit of bad weather in New York. : It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. VANESSA: Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. BARRY:
I gotta get up there and talk to them. VANESSA== Be careful. (Barry flies right outside the cockpit door) BARRY: Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. (The flight attendant opens the door and walks out and Barry flies into the cockpit unseen) BARRY: Captain, I'm in a real situation. CAPTAIN SCOTT: - What'd you say, Hal? CO-PILOT HAL: - Nothing. (Scott notices Barry and freaks out) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No,no,no, Don't freak out! My entire species... (Captain Scott gets out of his seat and tries to suck Barry into a handheld vacuum) HAL: (To Scott) What are you doing? (Barry lands on Hals hair but Scott sees him. He tries to suck up Barry but instead he sucks up Hals toupee) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
HAL: (Hal doesn't know Barry is on his head) - Who's an attorney? CAPTAIN SCOTT: Don't move. (Scott hits Hal in the face with the vacuum in an attempt to hit Barry. Hal is knocked out and he falls on the life raft button which launches an infalatable boat into Scott, who gets knocked out and falls to the floor. They are both uncounscious.) BARRY: (To himself) Oh, Barry. BARRY: (On intercom, with a Southern accent) Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. : Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? (Vanessa looks confused) (Normal accent) ...And please hurry! (Vanessa opens the door and sees the life raft and the uncounscious pilots) VANESSA: What happened here? BARRY: I tried to talk to them, but then there was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. : Now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is that another bee joke? BARRY:
- No! : No one's flying the plane! BUD DITCHWATER: (Through radio on plane) This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? VANESSA: This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. BUD: Where's the pilot? VANESSA: He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. BUD: Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? BARRY: As a matter of fact, there is. BUD:
- Who's that? BARRY:
- Barry Benson. BUD: From the honey trial?! Oh, great. BARRY: Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. : It's got giant wings, huge engines.
REPORTER: (Talking with Bob Bumble) We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls : with absolutely no flight experience. BOB BUMBLE: Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. BUD: I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. : They've done enough damage. REPORTER: But isn't he your only hope? BUD: Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. : Their wings are too small... BARRY: (Through radio) Haven't we heard this a million times? : "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."... BOB BUMBLE: - Get this on the air! BEE: - Got it.
BEE NEWS CREW: - Stand by. BEE NEWS CREW: - We're going live! BARRY: (Through radio on TV) ...The way we work may be a mystery to you. : Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. : But let me tell you about a small job. : If you do it well, it makes a big difference. : More than we realized. To us, to everyone. : That's why I want to get bees back to working together. : That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. : We get behind a fellow. : - Black and yellow! BEES: - Hello! (The scene switches and Barry is teaching Vanessa how to fly) BARRY:
Left, right, down, hover. VANESSA: - Hover? BARRY: - Forget hover. VANESSA: This isn't so hard. (Pretending to honk the horn) Beep-beep! Beep-beep! (A Lightning bolt hits the plane and autopilot turns off) Barry, what happened?! BARRY: Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. VANESSA: - That may have been helping me. BARRY: - And now we're not! VANESSA: So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. (The plane plummets but we see Lou Lu Duva and the Pollen Jocks, along with multiple other bees flying towards the plane) Lou Lu DUva: All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! : Move out! (The scene switches back to Vanessa and Barry in the plane) BARRY: Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! (Barry sticks out his arms like an airplane and flys in front of Vanessa's face)
VANESSA: Don't have to yell. BARRY: I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. VANESSA: It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! BARRY: It's not a tone. I'm panicking! VANESSA: I can't do this! (Barry slaps Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! VANESSA: (Slaps Barry) You snap out of it. BARRY: (Slaps Vanessa) : You snap out of it. VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! (We see that all the Pollen Jocks are flying under the plane) VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it!
VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! VANESSA: - Hold it! BARRY: - Why? Come on, it's my turn. VANESSA: How is the plane flying? (The plane is now safely flying) VANESSA: I don't know. (Barry's antennae rings like a phone. Barry picks up) BARRY: Hello? LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? (All of the Pollen Jocks are carrying the plane) BARRY: The Pollen Jocks! : They do get behind a fellow. LOU LU DUVA: - Black and yellow. POLLEN JOCKS: - Hello. LOU LU DUVA: All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop. BARRY: Where? I can't see anything. Can you? VANESSA: No, nothing. It's all cloudy. : Come on. You got to think bee, Barry. BARRY: - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. (On the runway there are millions of bees laying on their backs) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. VANESSA: - What? BARRY: - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. : Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. : Bring the nose down. BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! CONTROL TOWER OPERATOR: - What in the world is on the tarmac? BUD: - Get some lights on that!
(It is revealed that all the bees are organized into a giant pulsating flower formation) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: - Vanessa, aim for the flower. VANESSA: - OK. BARRY: Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? LOU LU DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. : Land on that flower! : Ready? Full reverse! : Spin it around! (The plane's nose is pointed at a flower painted on a nearby plane) - Not that flower! The other one! VANESSA: - Which one? BARRY: - That flower. (The plane is now pointed at a fat guy in a flowered shirt. He freaks out and tries to take a picture of the plane) VANESSA: - I'm aiming at the flower!
BARRY: That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! (The plane hovers over the bee-flower) : Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. : Rotate around it. VANESSA: - This is insane, Barry! BARRY: - This's the only way I know how to fly. BUD: Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? (The plane is unrealistically hovering and spinning over the bee-flower) BARRY: Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! : Just drop it. Be a part of it. : Aim for the center! : Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! : Come on, already. (The bees scatter and the plane safely lands) VANESSA: Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!
BARRY: - Yes! (Vanessa is about to high-five Barry) No high-five! VANESSA: - Right. ADAM: Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? BARRY: What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! ADAM: - Thank you. BARRY: - But we're not done yet. : Listen, everyone! : This runway is covered with the last pollen : from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. : That means this is our last chance. : We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. : If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?
: Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? BEES: We're bees! BEE WHO LIKES KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then follow me! Except Keychain. POLLEN JOCK #1: Hold on, Barry. Here. : You've earned this. BARRY: Yeah! : I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. (The Pollen Jocks throw Barry a nectar-collecting gun. Barry catches it) Oh, yeah. JANET: That's our Barry. (Barry and the Pollen Jocks get pollen from the flowers on the plane) (Flash forward in time and the Pollen Jocks are flying over NYC) : (Barry pollinates the flowers in Vanessa's shop and then heads to Central Park) BOY IN PARK: Mom! The bees are back! ADAM: (Putting on his Krelman hat) If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time. : I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! (The bee honey factories are back up and running) (Meanwhile at Vanessa's shop) VANESSA: (To customer) Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next? : Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. (There is a room in the shop where Barry does legal work for other animals. He is currently talking with a Cow) COW: Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! : Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! BARRY: I had no idea. VANESSA: Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? BARRY: Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry I'm late. COW: He's a lawyer too?
MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am, I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. VANESSA: Have a great afternoon! : Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. BARRY: No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. VANESSA: You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next? BARRY: All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. VANESSA: Thank you, Barry! (Ken walks by on the sidewalk and sees the "bee-approved honey" in Vanessa's shop) KEN: That bee is living my life!! ANDY: Let it go, Kenny. KEN: - When will this nightmare end?! ANDY: - Let it all go. BARRY: - Beautiful day to fly. POLLEN JOCK:
- Sure is. BARRY: Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. (Barry recreates the scene near the beginning of the movie where he flies through the box kite. The movie fades to black and the credits being) [--after credits; No scene can be seen but the characters can be heard talking over the credits--] You have got to start thinking bee, my friend! :
- Thinking bee!
- Me? BARRY: (Talking over singer) Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. : I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Can we stop here? SINGER: Oh, BarryBARRY: I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! SINGER: All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. BARRY: I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
2023.06.08 21:23 Dismal-Jellyfish SEC Chair Gary Gensler: "Given that most crypto tokens are subject to the securities laws, it follows that most crypto intermediaries have to comply with securities laws as well." "In other parts of our securities markets, the exchange, broker-dealer, and clearing functions are separate."
 | submitted by Dismal-Jellyfish to Superstonk [link] [comments] Source: https://www.sec.gov/news/speech/gensler-remarks-piper-sandler-060823 Before getting to Gary's speech:A DEX is an exchange and proof of delivery for assets one to one, so it is not packaging securities.That is how you or I may know it BUT.... The SEC is soliciting comments for what the 'official' definition is and based on that they will take action(s). It behooves ALL of us to to review the proposed rules:SEC Reopens Comment Period for Proposed Amendments to Exchange Act Rule 3b-16 and Provides Supplemental Information. "The reopening release reiterated the applicability of existing rules to platforms that trade crypto asset securities, including so-called “DeFi” systems"I imagine folks are going to leave comments in light of the SEC's actions on Binance and Coinbase on this proposal that would go against GME's interests in the space moving forward? I have this 165 page proposal 'down to' 61 pages I am working to try and turn into post(s) before the comment period is up next week. Unless 'we the people' tell Gary and the SEC what a DEX, exchange, security, etc. is, absent laws from congress, they are going to INTERPRET it how they please. We deserve better than that and this is our chance to say how and why on the official record. Speech:Thank you, Rich, for that kind introduction. As is customary, I’d like to note that my views are my own as Chair of the Securities and Exchange Commission, and I’m not speaking on behalf of my fellow Commissioners or the SEC staff. TLDRS:
https://preview.redd.it/hy9zstaghu4b1.png?width=610&format=png&auto=webp&s=fe9c6bba488e6b37f6f79d600e032b2566ac4cc9 |
2023.06.08 20:34 Alarmed-Film871 water park
 | water parkIntroduction: Prepare to make a splash and beat the heat as we dive into the thrilling world of a water park. In this blog post, we invite you to join us on a wet and wild adventure filled with exhilarating slides, lazy rivers, and a myriad of aquatic experiences. Get ready to soak up the excitement and discover the wonders that await within the refreshing oasis of a water park.https://preview.redd.it/dsp2tj1t8u4b1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=56efc57013742e0be2b4b4c0e332722245028e9d Section 1: The Cool Escape of Water Parks An Aquatic Playground: Explore how water parks offer a refreshing retreat from the summer heat, providing a sanctuary for both thrill-seekers and those seeking relaxation. Fun for All Ages: Discover the wide range of attractions and activities available, catering to visitors of all ages, from toddlers to adults. Section 2: Thrilling Water Slides and Rides Towering Slides: Experience the adrenaline rush as you plummet down towering slides, spiraling through twists and turns at breathtaking speeds. Tube Slides and Rafting Adventures: Embark on a thrilling journey through winding tube slides and engage in exciting rafting adventures, braving surging rapids and thrilling drops. Wave Pools: Dive into the ocean-like waves of a wave pool, feeling the rush of the water as it simulates the sensation of swimming in the open sea. Section 3: Relaxation and Leisure Lazy Rivers: Drift along tranquil currents in a lazy river, unwinding as you float leisurely on a tube and soak up the sun. Water Play Areas: Delight in interactive water play areas designed for younger visitors, featuring fountains, splash pads, and gentle slides for safe and enjoyable fun. Section 4: Safety and Amenities Safety Measures: Learn about the strict safety protocols and lifeguard supervision that ensure a secure and enjoyable experience for all guests. Amenities and Services: Discover the additional amenities available, including changing facilities, locker rentals, dining options, and shaded areas for relaxation. Conclusion: As we conclude our aquatic adventure through the world of a water park, we reflect on the joy, laughter, and splashes that make it a beloved destination for water enthusiasts of all ages. From heart-pounding slides to serene relaxation zones, water parks offer a haven of excitement and leisure. So, gather your friends and family, pack your swimwear, and dive into the world of fun and splashes. Let the water park be your gateway to memorable moments, refreshing thrills, and a cool escape from the summer heat. |
2023.06.08 20:00 DTG_Bot This Week In Destiny - 06/08/2023
Source: https://www.bungie.net/7/en/News/Article/the_first_twid_06_08_2023
This Week in Destiny... yeah, you read that right. As we mentioned a couple of weeks ago, we are fully leaning into this becoming a Destiny-centric space going forward. More on that in a bit! Before we jump into it, let's recap the contents of the previous week:
Fast forward to today, and it’s time once again to evolve the name of our weekly ritual. Don’t fret, our weekly check in for Destiny news and community highlights will continue! The main change here is that we will be keeping things Destiny-specific, so we need a name that reflects that since Bungie has now publicly announced a new game.
Starting today, the weekly Destiny blog will be named This Week in Destiny. As you may have noticed already, each week’s blog post will be announced on official Destiny social channels rather than on Bungie’s channels, and we’ll continue to drop the occasional standalone blog with in-depth details and insights from the dev team. Now that you know the new name and the reasoning behind it, you can do what you do best, Destiny Community: Meme away! But first, please join us in bidding farewell to the TWAB and welcoming the TWID.
Given that Season of the Deep is all about how the scariest floors of the sea can also be the most beautiful, how Guardians are good at killing gods, but better at catching exotic fishes, and how even the most dangerous warmonger can break down a bit when recalling simpler times... Well, why not celebrate all that complexity with a good Community Fashion Contest?
We know you can express what Season of the Deep is all about with just five pieces of armor, . Don your drippiest designs and try out the most combinations, and of course, let us know with the #DrownInTheDrip hashtag for a chance to earn our very new and exclusive Prêt-à-porter fashion emblem. You have until June 15, so get to work, fashionistas!.
Image Linkimgur
Note that this is only for the Weekly Grandmasters. The Conqueror gilding node is still planned to open in Week 7. So, get ready to face The Lightblade if you are aiming to get the Adept version of the Wendigo GL3 Heavy Grenade Launcher next week. And in case you are wondering, The Loaded Question Fusion Rifle and the Braytech Osprey Rocket Launcher will be featured in the following two weeks.
This Crucible game mode requires you to collect the crests dropped by the enemies you take down to score for your team, while you also deny the enemy their points by picking up crests from fallen allies. Show everyone who’s in charge here and secure each kill. While you earn ranks, you might even get that renewed Randy's Throwing Knife Kinetic Scout Rifle that Shaxx has brought back into the loot pool. Keep an eye on Cascade Point or Box Breathing for this one... Trust me.
A lot of you stepped into every plate to get double rewards, while others just cursed their aim over how many Golden Gun or Sleeper Simulant shots they missed... Either way, the outcome would be the same: a lot of good loot.
We hope you consider it time well spent. Because I do.
First, a reminder that the extra reward awarded by the weekly Last Wish quest, the one handed by Hawthorne, was not intentional, so it's going away. Starting Tuesday, you'll get one Deepsight weapon from it, since that was always the plan. You'll still earn at least another one every week, because the final chest after dumping Riven's heart gives one per week and account. But you still have a few days until the fix is implemented, so if you want that extra reward, go for it.
Now, for a few Exotics' fixes. This update will reenable the Vesper of Radius, since it won't have such explosive behavior with certain weapons anymore. Sunbracers will have their increased duration of Solar grenades restored. And after Saladin had a very long conversation with Kephri's Horn, the strange interactions that this Titan Exotic Helmet allowed have been fixed, so it will also be reenabled.
Finally, to name a few other fixes coming: we also have one for the issue that allowed certain grenades to go through Barricades and Wards of Dawn, we are toning down the new Collective Obligation perk in PvP (10% damage buff instead of a 20%), and we are giving the new Mercurial Overreach Competitive Sniper Rifle a bigger reticle when scoping so it's easier to use.
The rest of the patch notes for the 7.1.0.2 updates will be available on June 13.
Image Linkimgur
Known Issues List Help Forums Bungie Help Twitter
Hippy: An artist with synesthesia, a phenomenon that allows a blending of senses like the ability to hear color and feel sounds, took their unique lens of the world and turned it into art for fellow Guardians to enjoy. Titled The Fear of Dreams, here’s a really cool opportunity to see the world in a way that someone else does and how truly beautiful that really is.
Movie of the Week: The Fear of Dreams
Movie of the Week: Guardians try the Cloud Strider workout
Video Link
Ivan: Looks like a solid battle just finished and this Titan came out as victorious. As with many great paintings, you first spot the brightest object — the Titan's hammer — and then find more and more details. Amazing #Destiny2AOTW. Well done!
Art of the Week: The last Sunbreaker
Art of the Week: Go fish
Another week that goes by, and it's almost summer around here. Or winter, for those of you in the southern hemisphere. We are deep into Season of the Deep and there's still much to uncover from under the methane seas.
Methane, what a thing, by the way. I checked the other day and liquid methane has a temperature range between 91 and 112 kelvins, which makes me think those new Guardian armor sets not only look amazing, but also have some pretty insane heating systems. And speaking of heat, how can Solar grenades scorch stuff under such extreme circumstances, or Stasis crystals even hold their structure under such pressure? Anyway, transmat firing!
‘Hasta Luego’
Br1
submitted by DTG_Bot to DestinyTheGame [link] [comments]
- Ghosts of the Deep rundown.
- Bungie Rewards got new dungeon-themed merch.
- Did you get your Marathon emblem?
- You got new Prime Gaming loot.
- A new name for the TWAB.
- Ready for a new Community Fashion Contest?
- Grandmasters will be back on June 13.
- And Supremacy, too.
- You all owe Kalli an apology.
- Preview of some 7.1.0.2 fixes.
- Collaboration art!
- The usual Player Support Report, and our AOTW and MOTW picks. ##Rebranding the TWAB
Fast forward to today, and it’s time once again to evolve the name of our weekly ritual. Don’t fret, our weekly check in for Destiny news and community highlights will continue! The main change here is that we will be keeping things Destiny-specific, so we need a name that reflects that since Bungie has now publicly announced a new game.
Starting today, the weekly Destiny blog will be named This Week in Destiny. As you may have noticed already, each week’s blog post will be announced on official Destiny social channels rather than on Bungie’s channels, and we’ll continue to drop the occasional standalone blog with in-depth details and insights from the dev team. Now that you know the new name and the reasoning behind it, you can do what you do best, Destiny Community: Meme away! But first, please join us in bidding farewell to the TWAB and welcoming the TWID.
Put On Your Best Dress
Fashion is the ultimate, true endgame. Matching the perfect textures, forms, and colors to express the right idea is not easy, so we want to reward those who succeed in such endeavors.Given that Season of the Deep is all about how the scariest floors of the sea can also be the most beautiful, how Guardians are good at killing gods, but better at catching exotic fishes, and how even the most dangerous warmonger can break down a bit when recalling simpler times... Well, why not celebrate all that complexity with a good Community Fashion Contest?
We know you can express what Season of the Deep is all about with just five pieces of armor, . Don your drippiest designs and try out the most combinations, and of course, let us know with the #DrownInTheDrip hashtag for a chance to earn our very new and exclusive Prêt-à-porter fashion emblem. You have until June 15, so get to work, fashionistas!.
Image Linkimgur
Ready for Some Early Grandmaster Nightfalls?
As we mentioned in our ”Reflecting on Lightfall” article, Grandmaster Nightfalls will be available a bit earlier than usual during Season of the Deep. The reason for this is simple: without the seasonal Power climb, and with the requirement level changes we added during Season 19, we believe we can successfully launch them earlier. Grandmasters are coming on Week 4, and that means you'll have a chance to earn Exotic materials and Adept weapons starting next Tuesday, June 13.Note that this is only for the Weekly Grandmasters. The Conqueror gilding node is still planned to open in Week 7. So, get ready to face The Lightblade if you are aiming to get the Adept version of the Wendigo GL3 Heavy Grenade Launcher next week. And in case you are wondering, The Loaded Question Fusion Rifle and the Braytech Osprey Rocket Launcher will be featured in the following two weeks.
Supremacy Enters the Relentless Rotator
For those of you who got a taste of Supremacy during Guardian Games and wanted more, congratulations! Supremacy will be added to the Relentless rotator in the Crucible starting next week.This Crucible game mode requires you to collect the crests dropped by the enemies you take down to score for your team, while you also deny the enemy their points by picking up crests from fallen allies. Show everyone who’s in charge here and secure each kill. While you earn ranks, you might even get that renewed Randy's Throwing Knife Kinetic Scout Rifle that Shaxx has brought back into the loot pool. Keep an eye on Cascade Point or Box Breathing for this one... Trust me.
You Owe Kalli an Apology
People, we need to talk. Why? What did she ever do to you? What's your problem with murderous, Taken Techeuns? We know The Supremacy got Rewind Rounds, that Techeun Force has a sick PvP roll and that Reconstruction and Bait and Switch make Apex Predator a top-tier option for DPS, but that's no reason to put Kalli into such a situation!A lot of you stepped into every plate to get double rewards, while others just cursed their aim over how many Golden Gun or Sleeper Simulant shots they missed... Either way, the outcome would be the same: a lot of good loot.
We hope you consider it time well spent. Because I do.
Some Fixes Coming Next Week
The Destiny 2 Update 7.1.0.2 will be deployed on June 13. Although we'll have our usual patch notes available the moment it's available, we wanted to give you a preview of some of the implemented fixes.First, a reminder that the extra reward awarded by the weekly Last Wish quest, the one handed by Hawthorne, was not intentional, so it's going away. Starting Tuesday, you'll get one Deepsight weapon from it, since that was always the plan. You'll still earn at least another one every week, because the final chest after dumping Riven's heart gives one per week and account. But you still have a few days until the fix is implemented, so if you want that extra reward, go for it.
Now, for a few Exotics' fixes. This update will reenable the Vesper of Radius, since it won't have such explosive behavior with certain weapons anymore. Sunbracers will have their increased duration of Solar grenades restored. And after Saladin had a very long conversation with Kephri's Horn, the strange interactions that this Titan Exotic Helmet allowed have been fixed, so it will also be reenabled.
Finally, to name a few other fixes coming: we also have one for the issue that allowed certain grenades to go through Barricades and Wards of Dawn, we are toning down the new Collective Obligation perk in PvP (10% damage buff instead of a 20%), and we are giving the new Mercurial Overreach Competitive Sniper Rifle a bigger reticle when scoping so it's easier to use.
The rest of the patch notes for the 7.1.0.2 updates will be available on June 13.
Keep That Art Coming
Remember two weeks ago when we announced a small art and cosplay contest to celebrate the collaboration between Destiny 2 and PlayStation? Well, we have some amazing submissions already, like these two below:"Death can have me... When it earns me"We love to see your creations, so please keep them coming. You have until the end of June and each winner will earn the Art of the Week emblem and all the bragging rights in the world, of course.
image if some characters from PlayStation games became characters in Destiny. Who would you love to see?#Destiny2AOTW #Destiny2 #Destiny2Art #DestinyTheGame #GOW pic.twitter.com/frim0WlEEC
— BO (@BO_7aSSan597) May 30, 2023
To go with the Titan Kratos armor I made a matching Atreus Set #Destiny2 #Dresstiny#GodofWar #Destiny2Fashion @Destiny2Team @DestinyTheGame pic.twitter.com/3pwJLFj8Sw
— Amanda TheBeebo (@TheLadyBeebo) May 26, 2023
Player Support Report
20,000 Screebs Under the SeaImage Linkimgur
Known Issues List Help Forums Bungie Help Twitter
TRIALS OF OSIRIS EMBLEM
The Dazzling Iridescence Trials emblem was meant to be rewarded to the best of the best, those who could go Flawless while earning a Flight of the Pigeon medal (lead in score for the entire game) in every win along the way. Ultimately, an issue caused this emblem to be awarded to anyone who made it to the Lighthouse at all which, while still a challenging endeavor, made seeing the emblem a little more common than we had hoped. In this upcoming patch, we will have a fix for this which is two-fold:- Starting with Week 4’s Trials (June 16) the emblem will no longer drop from the Flawless chest for those who have not achieved the requirements on their way to the Lighthouse.
- Those who already have the emblem (meaning those players who went Flawless in Week 1 or who go Flawless in this upcoming weekend) will be able to retain the emblem in their collections but will not be able to equip the emblem unless they complete the requirements AFTER the patch has gone live.
ADVANCED FOCUSING
Due to an issue causing Exotic focusing to not grant intended rewards, we have temporarily disabled Advanced Decryption focusing. Precision Decryption focusing will continue to be available as we investigate.EVERVERSE INTERFACE
Some UI pricing elements in Eververse will be disabled with the release of 7.1.0.2. Note that the displayed price is the correct one.KNOWN ISSUES
While we continue investigating various known issues, here is a list of the latest issues that were reported to us in our #Help Forum:- Due to an issue the Kephri’s Horn exotic Titan helmet has been temporarily disabled.
- The Helm of Saint-14 Exotic Titan helmet is not functioning as expected.
- Players can get stuck outside of the final boss arena after self-reviving in the Ghosts of the Deep dungeon.
- Spending Salvage Keys after a Salvage activity is not providing progress toward the "Spend Salvage Keys" Triumph and is instead progressing the "Spend Deep Dive Keys" Triumph.
- The Bump in the Night Weapon Pattern Triumph requires the Season 17 Season Pass.
- The Standard Fare bounty does not gain progress on Kinetic weapon kills.
- The Warlock Courtier Longcoat chest ornament has a gap beneath the right arm.
- The Verity’s Brow perk “The Fourth Magic” is not functioning correctly in PvP.
- The New Pacific Epitaph Grenade Launcher is doing less damage than intended to Stasis crystals.
You Gotta Work For It, Guardian
Image LinkimgurHippy: An artist with synesthesia, a phenomenon that allows a blending of senses like the ability to hear color and feel sounds, took their unique lens of the world and turned it into art for fellow Guardians to enjoy. Titled The Fear of Dreams, here’s a really cool opportunity to see the world in a way that someone else does and how truly beautiful that really is.
Movie of the Week: The Fear of Dreams
🌙ONEIROPHOBIA // THE FEAR OF DREAMS.🌟Sam: Sometimes you want to be the very best, but it helps when you put in the extra work. Take these Guardians for example; couldn’t jump, couldn’t fight, and after... nope, not going to spoil it. Go check it out.
(I have synesthesia. I paint music. This time, I used Tilt Brush and an Oculus Rift to sculpt/paint the song to get a closer facsimile of what I perceive.) #Destiny2Art #AOTW #MOTW pic.twitter.com/kaMhoSelHB
— Runesael L. de la Peña Flynn (@Runesael) May 29, 2023
Movie of the Week: Guardians try the Cloud Strider workout
Video Link
That's One Big Bonk
Image LinkimgurIvan: Looks like a solid battle just finished and this Titan came out as victorious. As with many great paintings, you first spot the brightest object — the Titan's hammer — and then find more and more details. Amazing #Destiny2AOTW. Well done!
Art of the Week: The last Sunbreaker
The last Sunbreaker#Destiny2 #Destiny2Art #Destiny2AOTW pic.twitter.com/YKzM3f6zBPTimon: Look at this amazing fishing art! When I see this I just wanna drop everything and go out there grinding those Exotic fishies! Always remember: Less working, more fishing.
— Max Vick (@MaksymPotselui1) May 31, 2023
Art of the Week: Go fish
Made this birthday present for my sister @MajaroniArt who had her birthday yesterday 🥳🩷💜Bonus AOTW: MY BROTHER, DEAD!!??
Had a lot of fun making this 😁👍#Destiny2Art #Destiny2AOTW #Destiny2 #DestinyTheGame #Destiny2Fishing #DigitalArtist #DigitalArt pic.twitter.com/6ObwQLcXsq
— Pickles ✨Comms open!✨ (@xPickles77x) May 29, 2023
BLASPHEMY. BLASPHEMY #Destiny2Art #Destiny2AOTW #Destiny #DestinyTheGame @Bungie @DestinyTheGame pic.twitter.com/vYKcSGfFLs
— AliveWake (@AliveWake) May 29, 2023
Methane, what a thing, by the way. I checked the other day and liquid methane has a temperature range between 91 and 112 kelvins, which makes me think those new Guardian armor sets not only look amazing, but also have some pretty insane heating systems. And speaking of heat, how can Solar grenades scorch stuff under such extreme circumstances, or Stasis crystals even hold their structure under such pressure? Anyway, transmat firing!
‘Hasta Luego’
Br1
2023.06.08 19:54 DarkLordJurasus Doom Patrol #5- Consequences of Broadcast Television
There is nothing. No sound, no smells, no darkness. All that exists is a vast openness of white, a blinding, expansive non-existence, where all that remains is pure, unfiltered light. There is no corner of the vast openness where the light is absent, no room for darkness to hide, to escape the seemingly hungry emptiness.
Suddenly, the world glitches slightly. It is for less than a second, but a hint of gray slices through the sky, warping the world around it with the sound of static. But like everything else, the gray is devoured, blinking out of existence as white becomes the only color again.
The small glitch in the world, the spark of gray in blankness left something behind. Something reformed, floating there, alone in the emptiness. It was motionless, asleep, as still as the world around it. Then it awoke.
Memories instantly began to flood back, memories of fighting crime, of loving, of feeling loved. The figure remembered it all, including its name, Haxxalon the Star Archer.
Haxxalon opened his eyes, or at least he thinks he did, the whiteness so bright that darkness didn’t even take him while asleep. His first thought was that he must have been captured by a villain of some sort, a villain that destroyed earth, maybe destroyed the entire universe.The villain could possibly be searching for the star bow, a weapon powerful enough to fire stars into space. It wouldn’t be the first time a villain attacked him for it. Haxxalon would just need to figure out how the villain attacked earth and reverse it.
Haxxalon brought his arms up, trying to regain his sense of sight by focusing on something not white. The problem is, there is nothing. Haxxalon can feel his arms move, but he doesn’t see anything. Haxxalon screams, or at least the sound of screams comes out, as Haxxalon doesn’t feel his mouth move. A sudden feeling shivers down Haxxalon’s spine and he touches his face.
Nothing.
Haxxalon’s face is mere skin, there are no grooves, no holes: it’s all simply soft skin. Haxxalon feels his heart start to beat in his chest, the constant beat fighting against the oppressive silence of the world.
Then… something strange happens. For a split second, Haxxalon swears he sees a drop of blue for a second. A second later, he sees it again. Small sparks of blue electricity fly around and off of a circular object, an object that Haxxalon is sure is his arm. He doesn’t have electricity powers, and yet, that is certainly blue lightning.
Haxxalon barely has time to process that as between the beats of his heart, he hears something. It’s faint, and non-aggressive, conversational in tone. He can’t make out what the figures are saying, but he’s sure there is more than one. The noise is getting closer.
Haxxalon shifts his body, turning around slowly, ready to encounter whatever captured him.
Produced by: u/brooky12 and u/predaplant
Ambush Bug paces back and forth across the dry grass, his strides large and fast. It has been ten minutes since the Doom Patrol passed out, and Irwin is still as unsure of what to do as he was when the team originally went unconscious.
On his pacing path, Irwin crosses over to Larry, and slightly pushes at him with his foot. Larry begins to tilt, the brown and green backside of his bandages, stained from the grass and dirt, begin to show themselves, as Irwin removes his foot. Larry’s body shifts back to his laying flat on his back.
Irwin sighs in defeat. That was his fourth time trying that, and the third person he tried it on. He’s not going to try it on Robotman, so it looks like he is out of luck.
Ambush Bug looks out at the horizon, the light blue sky, the large, everpresent sun. Retconn hasn’t arrived yet, and Irwin can’t quite tell if that is a good or bad thing. Maybe the six of them lost Retconn, or maybe the company is biding their time for a larger assault on the team.
Behind him, Irwin hears a groan. It’s deep, and yet, sounds like a voice that was autocorrected one too many times. Irwin turns around as other groans join the first, the team has woken up.
Being the first to awake, Cliff Steele, Robotman, is the first to rise from his position on the ground. Looking around, he asks, “What the everloving fuck just happened?”
Niles Caulder replies, “That’s an interesting question Cliff. To answer that though, we must make sure that we all had a similar experience.”
Rita, Elasti-Woman, responds, “I, I remembered everything. It was like a flood of memories unlocked. I still remember what was implanted, what Retconn wanted me to think my past was, but they seem more distant, but…”
Steven Dayton, Mento, continues, “It feels different, like a movie I saw just yesterday. Still burned into my mind with clarity, but not me.”
Rita nods and looks at Steven. For a moment their gazes lock, their hands slightly touching. Rita is the first to cut their gaze, and jerks her hand back. A sadness enters Steven’s eyes as he nods and looks forward.
Niles nods, “I had quite a similar experience.” Niles stills for a moment, his fingers gently stimming on the arm rests of the wheelchair. “It’s possible,” Niles slowly continues, his mind still working as the words exit his mouth, “It is possible that when our specific atoms reintegrated themself into their reality or origin, we essentially experienced a system wide reset, our minds regaining the memories that were originally wiped.”
“Uhm,” Irwin pipes up, “I’m not a scientist or anything, but from the little I understand about multiverse travel, that doesn’t make much sense.”
Niles sighs and stares down in thought. Picking his head back up, he says, “Until today, I thought of the multiverse as a purely theoretical concept, a mere thought experiment. In truth, there can be hundreds of different reasons for our memory recovery, and each one would be just as plausible as the last.”
The whole team is silent again, their thoughts on the insanity of what is happening. Between all of them is an air of uncertainty, and for some, an air of mourning, their memories telling a story that ended without them even being aware.
Larry, looking down, bitterly asks, “Where’s Arturo or Mallory when you need them.”
Silence once again overcomes the group, but only for a moment. Eyes widening, Larry doubletakes, “Did I just make a reference to Sliders? How the hell do I know what Sliders is, that wasn’t a show before Retconn appeared.”
Larry turns to look at Niles who guesses, “Maybe reality is trying to reconnect us to it through inserting popular culture and current events into our brain?”
Seeing unconvinced faces, Niles sighs, “I don’t know. Let’s just go with multiverse magic for now. That makes as much sense as anything else I’ve seen or learned in the past few days.”
For the first time since waking up, Cliff begins to speak, “Yea, real nice conversation, and maybe a different day I’d give two shits about it, but right now we are standing in the middle of nowhere, and I for one would like to get out of here.”
Upon hearing that, Niles smiles, “Now, that is one problem I do have an answer to.”
Looking out to the open expanse, Niles calls out, “Danny, old friend. This is Niles Caulder. I am in need of sanctuary.”
For a moment, nothing happens. The grassy land remains the same. Irwin and Cliff both look ready to make a comment, but stop due to Niles holding up a single finger.
Then, two large Public Access Speakers grow out of the ground, towering over the assembled team in size. From them, the song “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond is playing.
Buildings begin to rise from the dirt in front of the Doom Patrol, both small and large, these buildings grew out of nothing, seemingly not affecting the ground beneath it. At first, all are monochromatic white, but as the taller buildings begin to rise, color blossoms throughout the seemingly growing civilization.
The buildings are each unique and different, some looking more typical in design, others covered in expertly made graffiti, and some even looking like random buckets of paint were thrown haphazardly onto the walls.
Billboards are plentiful, advertising everything from makeup, to planned get togethers. One of the largest advertises a bar having a Drag event for later that week. Strangest of all was the empty billboards that seemed as plentiful, if not more so than the ones that had advertisements on them.
As the final buildings settle, people begin to rise from the ground, most of them mid-movement of conversation. It does not seem they even realize that they moved, and that is because they don’t; the action so invisible to them, that they don’t even acknowledge it.
Everyone seems happy and aware of their surroundings, although there is the occasional incident of knocking over each other due to conversation or looking at the phone. The reason for the air of happiness may be due to their clothing though. Reds and pinks make up the majority of the clothing, and even for those without, navy blue is more common than pure black, although the streets are not without darker colors entirely. A few people in the crowd look as if they shop exclusively at Hot Topic, and despite their clothing choices not meshing, many are conversing happily with someone else in brighter colors.
The last thing to appear is a sign right outside of the new residential area saying, “Welcome! You Are Accepted Here.”
Quietly, but not as quietly as he wanted, Cliff says, “What the fuck?”
Hearing Cliff, Larry quietly agrees with Cliff’s verbal thought.
Continuing to smile, Niles rolls over to the sign and says, “Danny, I must say thank you for coming in such a timely fashion. It is great seeing you again, have you expanded since the last time we met?”
The sign welcoming the team changes, the words, “Hello Niles. Where have you been? It’s been a long time.” appearing.
Niles nods, his smile becoming slightly strained, “Yes, it has been around 60 years, hasn’t it? The story is long and quite strange, but I promise I will tell it to you in its entirety. First, do you think you can get us a place to regroup?”
The words on the sign quickly change again to say, “Your house is still vacant, Niles. After all you did for me, keeping a place empty for you in case you ever returned was the least I could do.”
Niles nods. “Thank you,” he says, before gesturing for the rest of the team to follow.
The team walks through the street, no one around them giving them a second look of shock or fear. To the other people there, the Doom Patrol does not look an ounce out of place. If that’s assuring or worrying, well, Larry is not quite sure.
Finally breaking the silence of the group, Steven gasps, “A talking street is…” Steven stops himself, not wanting to call the new seemingly-sentient street he is on an it, but not knowing what else to call Danny.
Seemingly knowing why Steven stopped, Danny responds on one of the empty billboards, “You can use they/them when referring to me. I don’t necessarily mind being called other pronouns, but I’m not an it, or a thing, and I don’t feel any more masculine or feminine than I would imagine other cities or towns would feel if they were alive.”
Steven nods, but decides to address Danny directly, “You are obviously fully sentient, but does that mean you have a brain? What about other organs? How do you see?”
It takes a second longer than the last response did, Danny replies, “I am not quite sure. I see, but at the same time, I don’t see like how people have described seeing to me; it is more an echolocation than sight. I have energy impulses going throughout me at any moment, but if that is a brain, or if that is just the energy keeping me alive, I can not say. If I do have organs, they are so well hidden, that I do not even recognize them as such.”
Steven nods at the information as both Larry and Irwin open their mouths to ask a question. Cliff beats both of them to it though as he asks, “Do you have a bar?”
A white arrow appears on multiple billboards, pointing Cliff to a place called Danny’s Bar. Cliff gives a stiff, curt nod and walks away from the group towards it.
Larry is quick to follow, but Niles grabs his arm, whispering to him, “Cliff needs some time alone before he will appreciate your presence.”
Larry nods and continues to walk with the group.
—-----------
Hours later, Larry walks into the bar, a fresh, clean, set of radiation-proof bandages on Larry’s body. The bar is huge, with a lot of people doing a myriad of things. Some are playing pool and billiards, others are singing karaoke, some are hanging out with friends, while others are trying to find someone to spend the night with. It didn’t take long for Larry to find Cliff though. Even in the dimmer light, Larry is able to see Cliff, the golden bronze contrasting with the rest of the bar.
Cliff is sitting at the bar, his metal face staring down at the dark wood. There is a beer in both of his hands, and a good dozen or so empty bottles scattered around him. He is silent, taking a large gulp from the beer in his right hand every ten seconds or so.
Larry walks over and gently places a hand on Cliff, unsure if Cliff will even feel the action. “It’s time to go.” Larry says.
Cliff shakes his head, “You can go, I’m staying here.”
Larry tries again, “The team needs you. We need to figure out how to- -”
Cliff slams his drinks against the table and looks up, his robotic eyes still not facing Larry, “What team? There is no fucking team. We had our lives stolen from us by a fucking TV network.”
Larry responds, “That’s why we need to stick together, we need to ensure Retconn can’t take us again.”
Taking a swig of the right beer, Cliff asks, “What if I want Retconn to capture me again?”
Larry is silent, unsure of how to respond. Cliff lets out a roboticized noise that sounds like a sigh. “I had a daughter.”
Cliff stops for a second, recollecting his thoughts. “I had a god damn daughter,” Cliff continues, “When she was born, when I saw her bright smile and innocent eyes, I swore to be a better dad than my own father. I would be in her life, make sure she knew she was loved. Then I left her.”
Larry softly tells Cliff, “It wasn’t your fault.”
Cliff lets out a roboticized laugh. “But it was. I got in a crash drinking while driving, and I woke up in the show with a robot body. Sure, Retconn kidnapped me, but if it wasn’t for Retconn, I’d be dead, I still would have left her.”
Larry says, “I’m sorry.”
Cliff shakes his head, so lost in thought that he doesn’t hear Larry, “It was almost better with Retconn. Sure, I wasn’t human, but I was a hero, I was Robotman, not the deadbeat dad Cliff Steele. I failed Clara, I failed the only thing that mattered to me.”
Cliff’s left metal fist grips the bottle so hard that it smashes in his hand. “The worst part is, for the hours I’ve been in here, I don’t feel any more tipsy than when I came in. I’m still sober, my mind is still functioning, I’m still remembering. This body can’t get fucking drunk, and I hate it.”
Cliff places down his right beer, and lets out a robotic, metallic sigh. “I’m tired,” Cliff finally relents, “Maybe I can get buzzed with enough persistence, but it isn’t happening tonight. I’ll meet you back at Niles’ house, Larry.”
Cliff walks out of the bar, his stride slow and methodical. Larry sits there for a moment stunned. Larry debates buying a drink, but remembers the bandages wrapped around his skin make doing so impossible. Instead he just sits there for a moment. Larry begins to watch, the four women singing off key in the corner, the guy trying to do a cool darts trick to impress his girlfriend, two guys kissing.
Larry’s skin begins to curl as he watches the sight, his head pounding. He needs to get out of there now. It’s clumsy at best, but Larry begins making his way to the door, struggling to not focus on the memories attempting to resurface. He ends up knocking into a chair, and not even seeing who is there, mumbles out a “Sorry” as he continues to move. He needs fresh air, he craves it. Finally the doors to the bar close behind him, and Larry collapses on the front steps, memories forcing their way to the front of Larry’s mind.
—--------------------------------------
Larry stood in front of the door to his house, his body frozen solid. For a moment, he thought he couldn’t do it, he thought about running away, running away from the screaming, the crying, the cursing, and the occasional slapping. He’s endured it for over a month now, and it hasn’t lessened, he isn’t sure how much more he can endure.
He wanted to scream that it isn’t his fault, that’s it’s not his fault God made him wrong, broken. He doesn’t though. He only ever said something like that once and it led to his father punching him, not slapping him or spanking him, but straight up punching him. Since then, Larry had made sure to repeat what his parents told him. It wasn’t God that made him wrong: Satan was the one to give Larry temptation, and Larry was the one to sin by kissing that boy under the bleachers.
Larry opened the front door, cringing at the noise of rusted metal. There was no chance he could get by his mother without more screaming and crying.
But the screams never began. Instead his mom ran up to him and held Larry in her arms, tears running down her face.
Startled, but not necessarily disliking this change in behavior, Larry asked, “Mom, what happened?”
Larry’s mom responded through sobs, “I-I went to the pastor today and told him about you. Larry, he said he can help you. He told me there is a special summer camp he runs that can help fix people like you, Larry…a camp that can bring kids back to the path of God.”
—---------------------------------
Larry is broken out of memory as the door behind him swings open. A darker skin gentleman with stubble walks out holding a glass of water. The man is wearing a light pink shirt that greatly contrasts with his brown eyes and black hair. Walking down the step, the gentleman sits down next to Larry.
The two sit in silence for a minute, until the man says, “I saw you getting out of there fast. It was my chair you knocked into.”
Larry opens his mouth to respond, but the man beats him to it, “Honestly, it’s fine. Just thought you may need something to drink.”
The man holds up the glass of water, but Larry shakes his head, “I can’t really take off the bandages, but thank you anyway.”
The man gives a curious look, “Is it like plastic surgery or something?”
Larry nods, not really wanting to go into it, “Something like that.”
The two sit in silence for a moment. Letting out a sigh, Larry says, “Listen, I’m sorry, it’s just- -”
The man cuts Larry off, “Something inside messed with you. You don’t have to explain.”
Taking a sip of water, the man continues, “Danny picked all us strays up because the world doesn’t want us. Here, the past is healed and mended, for us to be what we want, and live how we want.”
Larry replies solemnly, “That sounds nice.”
The man nods, “Don’t sweat your reaction today. Healing takes time, and no one is going to fault you if you accidentally bump into a chair on the way to progress.”
Larry is silent, conflicted. On one hand, the idea of being accepted is nice, on the other, well, what if Retconn was punishment for his sin? What if his family was right, what if he doesn’t deserve to be healed?
Standing, Larry says, “Thank you- -” Larry stops, realizing he doesn’t know the man’s name.
The man rises with a smile, “My name is Morris Mingo.” Morris holds out his name for Larry to shake.
Larry shakes the man’s hand, “Larry Trainor.”
“Well Larry,” Morris says, “I hope to see you again, hopefully under better circumstances next time.”
—---------------------
Back at the Nile’s house, or better to say mansion, Rita and Steven are staring at two doors, each going to separate rooms.
Their hands are intertwined unconsciously, their bodies filled with uncertainty. Rita is the first to talk, “I’m sorry. I know we’ve been married for so long, but it just feels…”
Rita doesn’t finish the sentence, not wanting to make the words feel more real by their exiting of the tongue. Instead it is Steven that ends the sentence, “Like everything changed.”
Comfortable silence permeates the room as the two turn to look at each other. “I still love you.” Steven says, his voice almost a whisper.
Tears threaten Rita’s eyes as she responds, “I love you too.”
For both of them, the desire to kiss the other is strong, but both resist. “How about,” Steven suggests, “We start from square one? Build back up to what we once had, that way the new us can get to know each other.”
Rita gives a light smile, “Are you asking me on a date, Mr. Dayton?” she asks in a joking, yet sincere, tone.
“I believe I am. Ms. Farr.” Steven responds in the exact same tone.
Rita’s smile brightens, “Then, I accept.”
A joyish feeling washes over both of them as they go to sleep. They almost don’t recognize the fact that this will be the first time they are sleeping alone in over sixty years as they drift off to sleep.
—--------------
Niles is sitting in his living room parler alone with Irwin. Rita and Steven went up to rest, while Cliff and Larry still haven’t returned to the house.
The two are watching the news, as Niles scribbles on a pad of paper. Irwin asks, “What are you writing?”
Niles stops his scribbling for a moment as he responds, “I am attempting to create a timeline of current events through the news and any books Danny has in order to tell if there are any gaps in the new memories I have.”
“Already?” Irwin asks, “I would think you would be busy processing your memories, not immediately analyzing them for falsehoods. If I learned about my past, first thing I would do is try to connect with it.”
Niles waves Irwin off, “I’ve processed enough. I can’t dilly dally with reminiscing. Retconn could arrive any second, and I refuse to be caught unaware.”
Irwin thinks for a minute, before getting up. Seeing Niles look at him curiously, Irwin explains, “I’m getting a piece of paper myself. Two people trying to understand current events should hopefully make the deciphering process faster.”
Irwin walks away in order to grab paper and a pen, hoping that the help will make Niles’ stress lessen.
Doom Patrol #5- Consequences of Broadcast Televisionl
Author: u/DarkLordJurasus
Book: Doom Patrol
Arc: Another Multiverse Story?
Set: 85
A Retconn Production
submitted by DarkLordJurasus to DCFU [link] [comments]
Suddenly, the world glitches slightly. It is for less than a second, but a hint of gray slices through the sky, warping the world around it with the sound of static. But like everything else, the gray is devoured, blinking out of existence as white becomes the only color again.
The small glitch in the world, the spark of gray in blankness left something behind. Something reformed, floating there, alone in the emptiness. It was motionless, asleep, as still as the world around it. Then it awoke.
Memories instantly began to flood back, memories of fighting crime, of loving, of feeling loved. The figure remembered it all, including its name, Haxxalon the Star Archer.
Haxxalon opened his eyes, or at least he thinks he did, the whiteness so bright that darkness didn’t even take him while asleep. His first thought was that he must have been captured by a villain of some sort, a villain that destroyed earth, maybe destroyed the entire universe.The villain could possibly be searching for the star bow, a weapon powerful enough to fire stars into space. It wouldn’t be the first time a villain attacked him for it. Haxxalon would just need to figure out how the villain attacked earth and reverse it.
Haxxalon brought his arms up, trying to regain his sense of sight by focusing on something not white. The problem is, there is nothing. Haxxalon can feel his arms move, but he doesn’t see anything. Haxxalon screams, or at least the sound of screams comes out, as Haxxalon doesn’t feel his mouth move. A sudden feeling shivers down Haxxalon’s spine and he touches his face.
Nothing.
Haxxalon’s face is mere skin, there are no grooves, no holes: it’s all simply soft skin. Haxxalon feels his heart start to beat in his chest, the constant beat fighting against the oppressive silence of the world.
Then… something strange happens. For a split second, Haxxalon swears he sees a drop of blue for a second. A second later, he sees it again. Small sparks of blue electricity fly around and off of a circular object, an object that Haxxalon is sure is his arm. He doesn’t have electricity powers, and yet, that is certainly blue lightning.
Haxxalon barely has time to process that as between the beats of his heart, he hears something. It’s faint, and non-aggressive, conversational in tone. He can’t make out what the figures are saying, but he’s sure there is more than one. The noise is getting closer.
Haxxalon shifts his body, turning around slowly, ready to encounter whatever captured him.
Doom Patrol Presents:
Can’t Escape the Flows of Time
Created by: u/DarkLordJurasusProduced by: u/brooky12 and u/predaplant
Ambush Bug paces back and forth across the dry grass, his strides large and fast. It has been ten minutes since the Doom Patrol passed out, and Irwin is still as unsure of what to do as he was when the team originally went unconscious.
On his pacing path, Irwin crosses over to Larry, and slightly pushes at him with his foot. Larry begins to tilt, the brown and green backside of his bandages, stained from the grass and dirt, begin to show themselves, as Irwin removes his foot. Larry’s body shifts back to his laying flat on his back.
Irwin sighs in defeat. That was his fourth time trying that, and the third person he tried it on. He’s not going to try it on Robotman, so it looks like he is out of luck.
Ambush Bug looks out at the horizon, the light blue sky, the large, everpresent sun. Retconn hasn’t arrived yet, and Irwin can’t quite tell if that is a good or bad thing. Maybe the six of them lost Retconn, or maybe the company is biding their time for a larger assault on the team.
Behind him, Irwin hears a groan. It’s deep, and yet, sounds like a voice that was autocorrected one too many times. Irwin turns around as other groans join the first, the team has woken up.
Being the first to awake, Cliff Steele, Robotman, is the first to rise from his position on the ground. Looking around, he asks, “What the everloving fuck just happened?”
Niles Caulder replies, “That’s an interesting question Cliff. To answer that though, we must make sure that we all had a similar experience.”
Rita, Elasti-Woman, responds, “I, I remembered everything. It was like a flood of memories unlocked. I still remember what was implanted, what Retconn wanted me to think my past was, but they seem more distant, but…”
Steven Dayton, Mento, continues, “It feels different, like a movie I saw just yesterday. Still burned into my mind with clarity, but not me.”
Rita nods and looks at Steven. For a moment their gazes lock, their hands slightly touching. Rita is the first to cut their gaze, and jerks her hand back. A sadness enters Steven’s eyes as he nods and looks forward.
Niles nods, “I had quite a similar experience.” Niles stills for a moment, his fingers gently stimming on the arm rests of the wheelchair. “It’s possible,” Niles slowly continues, his mind still working as the words exit his mouth, “It is possible that when our specific atoms reintegrated themself into their reality or origin, we essentially experienced a system wide reset, our minds regaining the memories that were originally wiped.”
“Uhm,” Irwin pipes up, “I’m not a scientist or anything, but from the little I understand about multiverse travel, that doesn’t make much sense.”
Niles sighs and stares down in thought. Picking his head back up, he says, “Until today, I thought of the multiverse as a purely theoretical concept, a mere thought experiment. In truth, there can be hundreds of different reasons for our memory recovery, and each one would be just as plausible as the last.”
The whole team is silent again, their thoughts on the insanity of what is happening. Between all of them is an air of uncertainty, and for some, an air of mourning, their memories telling a story that ended without them even being aware.
Larry, looking down, bitterly asks, “Where’s Arturo or Mallory when you need them.”
Silence once again overcomes the group, but only for a moment. Eyes widening, Larry doubletakes, “Did I just make a reference to Sliders? How the hell do I know what Sliders is, that wasn’t a show before Retconn appeared.”
Larry turns to look at Niles who guesses, “Maybe reality is trying to reconnect us to it through inserting popular culture and current events into our brain?”
Seeing unconvinced faces, Niles sighs, “I don’t know. Let’s just go with multiverse magic for now. That makes as much sense as anything else I’ve seen or learned in the past few days.”
For the first time since waking up, Cliff begins to speak, “Yea, real nice conversation, and maybe a different day I’d give two shits about it, but right now we are standing in the middle of nowhere, and I for one would like to get out of here.”
Upon hearing that, Niles smiles, “Now, that is one problem I do have an answer to.”
Looking out to the open expanse, Niles calls out, “Danny, old friend. This is Niles Caulder. I am in need of sanctuary.”
For a moment, nothing happens. The grassy land remains the same. Irwin and Cliff both look ready to make a comment, but stop due to Niles holding up a single finger.
Then, two large Public Access Speakers grow out of the ground, towering over the assembled team in size. From them, the song “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond is playing.
Buildings begin to rise from the dirt in front of the Doom Patrol, both small and large, these buildings grew out of nothing, seemingly not affecting the ground beneath it. At first, all are monochromatic white, but as the taller buildings begin to rise, color blossoms throughout the seemingly growing civilization.
The buildings are each unique and different, some looking more typical in design, others covered in expertly made graffiti, and some even looking like random buckets of paint were thrown haphazardly onto the walls.
Billboards are plentiful, advertising everything from makeup, to planned get togethers. One of the largest advertises a bar having a Drag event for later that week. Strangest of all was the empty billboards that seemed as plentiful, if not more so than the ones that had advertisements on them.
As the final buildings settle, people begin to rise from the ground, most of them mid-movement of conversation. It does not seem they even realize that they moved, and that is because they don’t; the action so invisible to them, that they don’t even acknowledge it.
Everyone seems happy and aware of their surroundings, although there is the occasional incident of knocking over each other due to conversation or looking at the phone. The reason for the air of happiness may be due to their clothing though. Reds and pinks make up the majority of the clothing, and even for those without, navy blue is more common than pure black, although the streets are not without darker colors entirely. A few people in the crowd look as if they shop exclusively at Hot Topic, and despite their clothing choices not meshing, many are conversing happily with someone else in brighter colors.
The last thing to appear is a sign right outside of the new residential area saying, “Welcome! You Are Accepted Here.”
Quietly, but not as quietly as he wanted, Cliff says, “What the fuck?”
Hearing Cliff, Larry quietly agrees with Cliff’s verbal thought.
Continuing to smile, Niles rolls over to the sign and says, “Danny, I must say thank you for coming in such a timely fashion. It is great seeing you again, have you expanded since the last time we met?”
The sign welcoming the team changes, the words, “Hello Niles. Where have you been? It’s been a long time.” appearing.
Niles nods, his smile becoming slightly strained, “Yes, it has been around 60 years, hasn’t it? The story is long and quite strange, but I promise I will tell it to you in its entirety. First, do you think you can get us a place to regroup?”
The words on the sign quickly change again to say, “Your house is still vacant, Niles. After all you did for me, keeping a place empty for you in case you ever returned was the least I could do.”
Niles nods. “Thank you,” he says, before gesturing for the rest of the team to follow.
The team walks through the street, no one around them giving them a second look of shock or fear. To the other people there, the Doom Patrol does not look an ounce out of place. If that’s assuring or worrying, well, Larry is not quite sure.
Finally breaking the silence of the group, Steven gasps, “A talking street is…” Steven stops himself, not wanting to call the new seemingly-sentient street he is on an it, but not knowing what else to call Danny.
Seemingly knowing why Steven stopped, Danny responds on one of the empty billboards, “You can use they/them when referring to me. I don’t necessarily mind being called other pronouns, but I’m not an it, or a thing, and I don’t feel any more masculine or feminine than I would imagine other cities or towns would feel if they were alive.”
Steven nods, but decides to address Danny directly, “You are obviously fully sentient, but does that mean you have a brain? What about other organs? How do you see?”
It takes a second longer than the last response did, Danny replies, “I am not quite sure. I see, but at the same time, I don’t see like how people have described seeing to me; it is more an echolocation than sight. I have energy impulses going throughout me at any moment, but if that is a brain, or if that is just the energy keeping me alive, I can not say. If I do have organs, they are so well hidden, that I do not even recognize them as such.”
Steven nods at the information as both Larry and Irwin open their mouths to ask a question. Cliff beats both of them to it though as he asks, “Do you have a bar?”
A white arrow appears on multiple billboards, pointing Cliff to a place called Danny’s Bar. Cliff gives a stiff, curt nod and walks away from the group towards it.
Larry is quick to follow, but Niles grabs his arm, whispering to him, “Cliff needs some time alone before he will appreciate your presence.”
Larry nods and continues to walk with the group.
—-----------
Hours later, Larry walks into the bar, a fresh, clean, set of radiation-proof bandages on Larry’s body. The bar is huge, with a lot of people doing a myriad of things. Some are playing pool and billiards, others are singing karaoke, some are hanging out with friends, while others are trying to find someone to spend the night with. It didn’t take long for Larry to find Cliff though. Even in the dimmer light, Larry is able to see Cliff, the golden bronze contrasting with the rest of the bar.
Cliff is sitting at the bar, his metal face staring down at the dark wood. There is a beer in both of his hands, and a good dozen or so empty bottles scattered around him. He is silent, taking a large gulp from the beer in his right hand every ten seconds or so.
Larry walks over and gently places a hand on Cliff, unsure if Cliff will even feel the action. “It’s time to go.” Larry says.
Cliff shakes his head, “You can go, I’m staying here.”
Larry tries again, “The team needs you. We need to figure out how to- -”
Cliff slams his drinks against the table and looks up, his robotic eyes still not facing Larry, “What team? There is no fucking team. We had our lives stolen from us by a fucking TV network.”
Larry responds, “That’s why we need to stick together, we need to ensure Retconn can’t take us again.”
Taking a swig of the right beer, Cliff asks, “What if I want Retconn to capture me again?”
Larry is silent, unsure of how to respond. Cliff lets out a roboticized noise that sounds like a sigh. “I had a daughter.”
Cliff stops for a second, recollecting his thoughts. “I had a god damn daughter,” Cliff continues, “When she was born, when I saw her bright smile and innocent eyes, I swore to be a better dad than my own father. I would be in her life, make sure she knew she was loved. Then I left her.”
Larry softly tells Cliff, “It wasn’t your fault.”
Cliff lets out a roboticized laugh. “But it was. I got in a crash drinking while driving, and I woke up in the show with a robot body. Sure, Retconn kidnapped me, but if it wasn’t for Retconn, I’d be dead, I still would have left her.”
Larry says, “I’m sorry.”
Cliff shakes his head, so lost in thought that he doesn’t hear Larry, “It was almost better with Retconn. Sure, I wasn’t human, but I was a hero, I was Robotman, not the deadbeat dad Cliff Steele. I failed Clara, I failed the only thing that mattered to me.”
Cliff’s left metal fist grips the bottle so hard that it smashes in his hand. “The worst part is, for the hours I’ve been in here, I don’t feel any more tipsy than when I came in. I’m still sober, my mind is still functioning, I’m still remembering. This body can’t get fucking drunk, and I hate it.”
Cliff places down his right beer, and lets out a robotic, metallic sigh. “I’m tired,” Cliff finally relents, “Maybe I can get buzzed with enough persistence, but it isn’t happening tonight. I’ll meet you back at Niles’ house, Larry.”
Cliff walks out of the bar, his stride slow and methodical. Larry sits there for a moment stunned. Larry debates buying a drink, but remembers the bandages wrapped around his skin make doing so impossible. Instead he just sits there for a moment. Larry begins to watch, the four women singing off key in the corner, the guy trying to do a cool darts trick to impress his girlfriend, two guys kissing.
Larry’s skin begins to curl as he watches the sight, his head pounding. He needs to get out of there now. It’s clumsy at best, but Larry begins making his way to the door, struggling to not focus on the memories attempting to resurface. He ends up knocking into a chair, and not even seeing who is there, mumbles out a “Sorry” as he continues to move. He needs fresh air, he craves it. Finally the doors to the bar close behind him, and Larry collapses on the front steps, memories forcing their way to the front of Larry’s mind.
—--------------------------------------
Larry stood in front of the door to his house, his body frozen solid. For a moment, he thought he couldn’t do it, he thought about running away, running away from the screaming, the crying, the cursing, and the occasional slapping. He’s endured it for over a month now, and it hasn’t lessened, he isn’t sure how much more he can endure.
He wanted to scream that it isn’t his fault, that’s it’s not his fault God made him wrong, broken. He doesn’t though. He only ever said something like that once and it led to his father punching him, not slapping him or spanking him, but straight up punching him. Since then, Larry had made sure to repeat what his parents told him. It wasn’t God that made him wrong: Satan was the one to give Larry temptation, and Larry was the one to sin by kissing that boy under the bleachers.
Larry opened the front door, cringing at the noise of rusted metal. There was no chance he could get by his mother without more screaming and crying.
But the screams never began. Instead his mom ran up to him and held Larry in her arms, tears running down her face.
Startled, but not necessarily disliking this change in behavior, Larry asked, “Mom, what happened?”
Larry’s mom responded through sobs, “I-I went to the pastor today and told him about you. Larry, he said he can help you. He told me there is a special summer camp he runs that can help fix people like you, Larry…a camp that can bring kids back to the path of God.”
—---------------------------------
Larry is broken out of memory as the door behind him swings open. A darker skin gentleman with stubble walks out holding a glass of water. The man is wearing a light pink shirt that greatly contrasts with his brown eyes and black hair. Walking down the step, the gentleman sits down next to Larry.
The two sit in silence for a minute, until the man says, “I saw you getting out of there fast. It was my chair you knocked into.”
Larry opens his mouth to respond, but the man beats him to it, “Honestly, it’s fine. Just thought you may need something to drink.”
The man holds up the glass of water, but Larry shakes his head, “I can’t really take off the bandages, but thank you anyway.”
The man gives a curious look, “Is it like plastic surgery or something?”
Larry nods, not really wanting to go into it, “Something like that.”
The two sit in silence for a moment. Letting out a sigh, Larry says, “Listen, I’m sorry, it’s just- -”
The man cuts Larry off, “Something inside messed with you. You don’t have to explain.”
Taking a sip of water, the man continues, “Danny picked all us strays up because the world doesn’t want us. Here, the past is healed and mended, for us to be what we want, and live how we want.”
Larry replies solemnly, “That sounds nice.”
The man nods, “Don’t sweat your reaction today. Healing takes time, and no one is going to fault you if you accidentally bump into a chair on the way to progress.”
Larry is silent, conflicted. On one hand, the idea of being accepted is nice, on the other, well, what if Retconn was punishment for his sin? What if his family was right, what if he doesn’t deserve to be healed?
Standing, Larry says, “Thank you- -” Larry stops, realizing he doesn’t know the man’s name.
The man rises with a smile, “My name is Morris Mingo.” Morris holds out his name for Larry to shake.
Larry shakes the man’s hand, “Larry Trainor.”
“Well Larry,” Morris says, “I hope to see you again, hopefully under better circumstances next time.”
—---------------------
Back at the Nile’s house, or better to say mansion, Rita and Steven are staring at two doors, each going to separate rooms.
Their hands are intertwined unconsciously, their bodies filled with uncertainty. Rita is the first to talk, “I’m sorry. I know we’ve been married for so long, but it just feels…”
Rita doesn’t finish the sentence, not wanting to make the words feel more real by their exiting of the tongue. Instead it is Steven that ends the sentence, “Like everything changed.”
Comfortable silence permeates the room as the two turn to look at each other. “I still love you.” Steven says, his voice almost a whisper.
Tears threaten Rita’s eyes as she responds, “I love you too.”
For both of them, the desire to kiss the other is strong, but both resist. “How about,” Steven suggests, “We start from square one? Build back up to what we once had, that way the new us can get to know each other.”
Rita gives a light smile, “Are you asking me on a date, Mr. Dayton?” she asks in a joking, yet sincere, tone.
“I believe I am. Ms. Farr.” Steven responds in the exact same tone.
Rita’s smile brightens, “Then, I accept.”
A joyish feeling washes over both of them as they go to sleep. They almost don’t recognize the fact that this will be the first time they are sleeping alone in over sixty years as they drift off to sleep.
—--------------
Niles is sitting in his living room parler alone with Irwin. Rita and Steven went up to rest, while Cliff and Larry still haven’t returned to the house.
The two are watching the news, as Niles scribbles on a pad of paper. Irwin asks, “What are you writing?”
Niles stops his scribbling for a moment as he responds, “I am attempting to create a timeline of current events through the news and any books Danny has in order to tell if there are any gaps in the new memories I have.”
“Already?” Irwin asks, “I would think you would be busy processing your memories, not immediately analyzing them for falsehoods. If I learned about my past, first thing I would do is try to connect with it.”
Niles waves Irwin off, “I’ve processed enough. I can’t dilly dally with reminiscing. Retconn could arrive any second, and I refuse to be caught unaware.”
Irwin thinks for a minute, before getting up. Seeing Niles look at him curiously, Irwin explains, “I’m getting a piece of paper myself. Two people trying to understand current events should hopefully make the deciphering process faster.”
Irwin walks away in order to grab paper and a pen, hoping that the help will make Niles’ stress lessen.
Doom Patrol #5- Consequences of Broadcast Televisionl
Author: u/DarkLordJurasus
Book: Doom Patrol
Arc: Another Multiverse Story?
Set: 85
A Retconn Production
2023.06.08 19:35 DidiHelpMePliss Dear Men, If Fixing Your Profile Hasn't Helped, Read This.
OK, time to sit up straight because I am going to spill some tough love on the men in the community.
This is regarding online dating. This is supposed to serve as a compass for you to navigate yourself correctly through the journey.
This piece is based on three things:
- My own experience with online dating.
- Insights uncovered while helping three cis-gendered, male friends with their dating-app profiles to understand the 'why'(s) and 'how'(s) of Communication and Perception in dating.
- Over a decade of being a Communication and Strategy professional in the corporate sector.
(However, if you use dating apps for one-night stands and casual relationships, you can stop here. This post may end up wasting your time.)
1) First of all — treat yourself like a 'product' and position yourself accordingly in the market.
Take time to:
- Understand your SWOT.
- Understand your competitor (it is not who you think it is).
- Understand your consumer.
I will elaborate on each one of these later.
2) Understand your SWOT:
SWOT stands for Strength, Weakness, Opportunity, and Threat.
Map it out for yourself, and then...
Work on actually having a personality.
What does not count as 'Personality'?
Going to the gym is not your whole personality.
Your bike/car, or your love for them cannot be your whole personality.
Your height, colour of your eyes etc are not your personality.
BladerunneRPG is not your whole personality.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S. cannot be your whole personality.
And your job, definitely, is not your whole personality.
Therefore, when you put 3 out of 5 pictures from your gym, it puts you in a very crowded room that is jam-packed with other gym-goers, lumping your whole personality as a 'Gym Bro'.
When you lack personality, then it is not that you aren't 6'3" tall and hence women aren't choosing you. Learn to see things for what they are.
Ok, but what is Personality then?
Personality is a combination of goals, fears, aspirations, dreams, hopes, likes, dislikes, beliefs etc — attributes that make you 'you'.
Capitalize on each one of these.
Learn to leverage even your weakness by leaning into it.
For example, if you are a guy who is not a fan of English language, and can't for the life of you understand why people don't speak in Hindi, then why are you writing your profile in English, and slogging your posterior off to attract a Starbucks-sipping chica who may not value what you bring to the table?
Instead, channel your inner Harishankar Parsai and write your profile in Hindi.
When you do that, you will have automatically sifted out anyone who is judgmental about your preferred language, and in fact, you may end up attracting someone who will help you paint the town red over this shared interest!
So, keeping everything aside, understand who you are. The better you understand yourself, the easier the dynamics are going to be.
3) Learn. To. Write. Sentences.
Complete sentences. With commas, em dashes, and colons.
Do not put five pictures on your profile with one or two words answers to prompts. Learn to put together coherent thoughts.
It shows your ability to express yourself.
Also, expressing yourself is cool.
Stoicism is fine but Zeno of Citium and Marcus Aurelius did not have to spend their life getting left-swiped in the era that is striving to ensure gender equality. Nor were they fighting battles in a hyper-individualistic world.
They had armies to keep them together. Remember this.
4) Re-evaluate your brand-messaging. (Understand your consumer)
Do all/most of your pictures have you posing next to a Merc/BMW etc, and then you cry about attracting gold-diggers?
If you are not looking to attract gold-diggers, tell us what do you bring to the table? Do you have skills required for 'adulting' like keeping a house, planning a meal and ordering for grocery? Do you know basic cooking? If your mom (or someone else) does it all for you, pause dating for a while and contribute to unpaid efforts that go in keeping you alive.
What does it do, you ask?
It softens rough edges of your personality, develops emotional maturity and an ability to estimate and take on the impact of silent mental load. It gives you something real to talk about. It gives the other person something relatable to benchmark you against.
Relationships are much more than booking OYO for a few hours.
(There is a reason your cool collection of Legos cannot be a part of this 'what you bring to the table' exercise. I will explain it later.) Assess if you actually have a personality or are you a humanoid who can code (or whatever else it is that you do), and otherwise bring very little to the table.
5) Speaking of Gold Diggers...
Some of you men disintegrate and combust into flames the minute a girl tells you that she is looking for someone who is better off financially (or has a benchmark that requires money).
Why?
Do you not switch your job for better prospects?
Do you not look for someone way hotteprettie smarter than you are?
How are women not allowed to have a richer partner? Please explain.
(I am not asking whether she is a student, banking on dad's money, or hustling at work herself in this case. It does not matter. If you have a wishlist, she too has one. Can you match up? No? Move on then. What is the logic behind becoming bitter about it?)
6) To attract the right mate, you need to become the right mate.
For some weird reason, one of the friends I was helping said something that meant something like he will straighten up for the right girl.
Bro, what.
This is not how it works. It, in fact, works the other way round.
You focus on becoming the right person and that takes you one step closer to finding 'the one'. If you are a mess when the right one comes along, they are likely to walk right past you.
You dress up and then go to the bus-stop, wait for the right bus, and board it when it reaches the bus-stop you are at. You don't show up at the bus stop nude and start dressing up the minute your bus pulls up.
7) "bUt dOn't wOMEn waNt eQuality?"
They do.
Plus, nobody is trying to rip you off of the four pennies you have saved after 5 years of grind and hustle. Last of all women who have worked their *ss off and fought centuries of patriarchy to get a seat at the table.
Women like to pay for their meals happily, at least the ones I know. However, there will be some who will expect you to foot the bill. It is possible that she is looking for a mate who can afford to take her out for dates totally on his own. She is well within her rights to have this expectation. And you are well within yours to refuse to meet it.
If such is the case, do not let this make you salty and call her a 'gold-digger'.
It is indicative of a poverty-mindset towards money. Instead, use it as marker to understand your relationship with money.
But that aside, if you cannot afford to take both of you out for a coffee/desserts date, take a break from dating and work on your financial health first, because it will keep you stressed and while you cry about having to pay for coffee, another dude would sweep her off her feet because...
...most women may not be looking for you to have 10 billion dollars in your bank account, but in case you both intend on getting married and having a family together, they have a right to assess if you can afford the fact that she can take some time off her work and look after herself (after the delivery) and the baby without your family getting driven to poverty. I understand Maternity leaves and all, but women's brains are prepared to deal with the worst, and they factor in everything and more, even if subconsciously. It contributes to them feeling 'safe' regarding the future. (Not all women, but many. And this is no sin.)
(I am talking about an average scenario. If you are a person whose dynamics worked out in a circumstance different from this, good for you. I have approximated this basis what my guy friends came across in the dating pool. This depends on the privileges, level of education, upbringing, mindset etc, and sometimes varies from person to person within the same family.)
8) Speaking of Equality...
... I hope your house-keeping, care-taking, and cooking skills are in alignment with the kind of contribution you are expecting from your partner in terms of finances.
Equality is not a one-way street. And no, I 'let her' drink is not Equality.
9) If you are looking for a one-night-stand, state it upfront, the first thing. For some weird reason, the max amount of respect is garnered by guys who mention this right in the beginning. Or, better still, mention it on your profile itself, saves everyone the hassle.
10) Emotional Intelligence
There will be m-a-n-y things, in life and on the internet, that you may not like. If at all, this is where you need to practice Stoicism.
Don't believe that there should be more genders than two? Cool, keep scrolling.
Don't understand what is this 'they/them' business in pronouns of individuals? No problem. Put forth your point in a civilized manner and move on. You don't have to dunk on people.
See a 43-year-old unmarried woman asking for advice regarding her love-life? Do you have something constructive to contribute? No? Keep scrolling.
Some lady wore sleeveless to the office? Unless you have something positive to say, keep your opinion to yourself.
See a 63 YO 'aunty' on a dating app? Are you interested? No? Keep Swiping.
Understand that the world does not need your permission exist. (Yes! I know! I am equally baffled!)
Your inherent need to straighten the World does two horrible things to you:
There is no magic wand to becoming an emotionally intelligent person. In the era of tech and ChatGPTs, your EQ is what will make you stand out. Period.
11) Self-worth.
Pause, and understand your worth, (or the lack of it). Don't just randomly hope to be swiped right by anyone. If you are marred by low self-worth, it reflects in every aspect of your life, including how you talk. Take a break from dating and work on your self-worth.
Building self-worth is an inside job.
There is a friend I have who is a Coder by the day and a Baker by the night. Once or twice every month, he invites us over for an evening of chilling around where we also get to sample the latest recipes of cake, quiches, pizzas, and breads he has tried.
The dude is 35YO, the most zen person I know, has never had to be on dating apps because his hobby has everyone chasing him for recipes, 'let's bake together?' (s), ingredients etc. Not a one-night-stand sort of guy, so the street-cred works in his favor. When he dates, he sticks to a lady until things don't work out for whatever genuine reason there is. Once he and the lady part ways, both of them never bad-mouth each other.
Take from that what you will.
Working on your self-worth is stacking up of favorable actions, one after the other. There is no abra-ca-dabra to this.
Also,
12) Understand how Reticular Activating System works regarding attracting the right mate.
Reticular Activating System is explained the best here.
And how to hack it is explained here.
From Marketing and Communication stand-point, no brand spends h-o-u-r-s ridiculing and hating on the prospective consumer. Instead, they spare no efforts in getting to know their consumer and then tailoring their offerings to ensure that the consumer sticks around.
This is what I mean when I say know your Comsumer.
(Anyway, what is the point of hating on women throughout the day, and then crying here in the group at night asking for feedback on your dating profile to woo, drumrolls, those same women?)
When it comes to women, your competition is not another man. It is her peace of mind. This is what I mean when I say 'know your Competitor'.
13) What makes dating difficult?
Not the process.
It is you hoping that it was easier.
But this is one aspect that demands ruthless growth. Just embrace the pain and hardships of getting left-swiped on and use it to upgrade your mindset and mentality. But all the while, be kind to yourself and know that you are doing your best.
14) One last thing...
Analyze if any part of your childhood/teenage was chaotic or traumatic. What we experience in our childhood, if left untreated, goes on to become our 'normal' in adulthood.
So, if you grew up in chaos, peace would seem boring to you. You will constantly look for 'spark' instead of comfort and end up attracting damaged goods.
If your childhood was not peaceful, it may be worthwhile to consider therapy. Therapy is good, it brings out the gunk of the soul that you did not know you were carrying around, all the while stinking because of it.
If you are interested in understanding this better, read Letting Go and Attached.
The thing is, you attract your tribe.
If you are attracted to someone, something in them must have resonated with you. Surprisingly, many times, it is the toxity that binds two people together.
And toxity in oneself is the most difficult to accept.
To stop attracting damaged goods, you will have to heal yourself.
You will be surprised what a therapist can do. You may have to look around for a while before you chance upon a good one though. Twitter has two crowd-sourced list, in case you need: List 1, List 2.
Notice how I haven't touched upon topics like what you should write in your bio/profile or what you should message her because these things are a direct manifestation of who you are. They can be 'manufactured' but only to some extent. The mind games last only for so long. After that, you will have to work on yourself.
I hope this makes sense to some extent and someone. Take time to read this. I don't expect anyone of you to get all of it in one go.
If you disagree, happy to hear your point of view.
Thank you for reading!
Have a lovely dating journey.
submitted by DidiHelpMePliss to IndianBoysOnTinder [link] [comments]
This is regarding online dating. This is supposed to serve as a compass for you to navigate yourself correctly through the journey.
This piece is based on three things:
- My own experience with online dating.
- Insights uncovered while helping three cis-gendered, male friends with their dating-app profiles to understand the 'why'(s) and 'how'(s) of Communication and Perception in dating.
- Over a decade of being a Communication and Strategy professional in the corporate sector.
(However, if you use dating apps for one-night stands and casual relationships, you can stop here. This post may end up wasting your time.)
1) First of all — treat yourself like a 'product' and position yourself accordingly in the market.
Take time to:
- Understand your SWOT.
- Understand your competitor (it is not who you think it is).
- Understand your consumer.
I will elaborate on each one of these later.
2) Understand your SWOT:
SWOT stands for Strength, Weakness, Opportunity, and Threat.
Map it out for yourself, and then...
Work on actually having a personality.
What does not count as 'Personality'?
Going to the gym is not your whole personality.
Your bike/car, or your love for them cannot be your whole personality.
Your height, colour of your eyes etc are not your personality.
BladerunneRPG is not your whole personality.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S. cannot be your whole personality.
And your job, definitely, is not your whole personality.
Therefore, when you put 3 out of 5 pictures from your gym, it puts you in a very crowded room that is jam-packed with other gym-goers, lumping your whole personality as a 'Gym Bro'.
When you lack personality, then it is not that you aren't 6'3" tall and hence women aren't choosing you. Learn to see things for what they are.
Ok, but what is Personality then?
Personality is a combination of goals, fears, aspirations, dreams, hopes, likes, dislikes, beliefs etc — attributes that make you 'you'.
Capitalize on each one of these.
Learn to leverage even your weakness by leaning into it.
For example, if you are a guy who is not a fan of English language, and can't for the life of you understand why people don't speak in Hindi, then why are you writing your profile in English, and slogging your posterior off to attract a Starbucks-sipping chica who may not value what you bring to the table?
Instead, channel your inner Harishankar Parsai and write your profile in Hindi.
When you do that, you will have automatically sifted out anyone who is judgmental about your preferred language, and in fact, you may end up attracting someone who will help you paint the town red over this shared interest!
So, keeping everything aside, understand who you are. The better you understand yourself, the easier the dynamics are going to be.
3) Learn. To. Write. Sentences.
Complete sentences. With commas, em dashes, and colons.
Do not put five pictures on your profile with one or two words answers to prompts. Learn to put together coherent thoughts.
It shows your ability to express yourself.
Also, expressing yourself is cool.
Stoicism is fine but Zeno of Citium and Marcus Aurelius did not have to spend their life getting left-swiped in the era that is striving to ensure gender equality. Nor were they fighting battles in a hyper-individualistic world.
They had armies to keep them together. Remember this.
Language was invented for one reason, boys--- to woo women---and in that endeavor, laziness will not do.
Dead Poet Society
4) Re-evaluate your brand-messaging. (Understand your consumer)
Do all/most of your pictures have you posing next to a Merc/BMW etc, and then you cry about attracting gold-diggers?
If you are not looking to attract gold-diggers, tell us what do you bring to the table? Do you have skills required for 'adulting' like keeping a house, planning a meal and ordering for grocery? Do you know basic cooking? If your mom (or someone else) does it all for you, pause dating for a while and contribute to unpaid efforts that go in keeping you alive.
What does it do, you ask?
It softens rough edges of your personality, develops emotional maturity and an ability to estimate and take on the impact of silent mental load. It gives you something real to talk about. It gives the other person something relatable to benchmark you against.
Relationships are much more than booking OYO for a few hours.
(There is a reason your cool collection of Legos cannot be a part of this 'what you bring to the table' exercise. I will explain it later.) Assess if you actually have a personality or are you a humanoid who can code (or whatever else it is that you do), and otherwise bring very little to the table.
5) Speaking of Gold Diggers...
Some of you men disintegrate and combust into flames the minute a girl tells you that she is looking for someone who is better off financially (or has a benchmark that requires money).
Why?
Do you not switch your job for better prospects?
Do you not look for someone way hotteprettie smarter than you are?
How are women not allowed to have a richer partner? Please explain.
(I am not asking whether she is a student, banking on dad's money, or hustling at work herself in this case. It does not matter. If you have a wishlist, she too has one. Can you match up? No? Move on then. What is the logic behind becoming bitter about it?)
6) To attract the right mate, you need to become the right mate.
For some weird reason, one of the friends I was helping said something that meant something like he will straighten up for the right girl.
Bro, what.
This is not how it works. It, in fact, works the other way round.
You focus on becoming the right person and that takes you one step closer to finding 'the one'. If you are a mess when the right one comes along, they are likely to walk right past you.
You dress up and then go to the bus-stop, wait for the right bus, and board it when it reaches the bus-stop you are at. You don't show up at the bus stop nude and start dressing up the minute your bus pulls up.
7) "bUt dOn't wOMEn waNt eQuality?"
They do.
Plus, nobody is trying to rip you off of the four pennies you have saved after 5 years of grind and hustle. Last of all women who have worked their *ss off and fought centuries of patriarchy to get a seat at the table.
Women like to pay for their meals happily, at least the ones I know. However, there will be some who will expect you to foot the bill. It is possible that she is looking for a mate who can afford to take her out for dates totally on his own. She is well within her rights to have this expectation. And you are well within yours to refuse to meet it.
If such is the case, do not let this make you salty and call her a 'gold-digger'.
It is indicative of a poverty-mindset towards money. Instead, use it as marker to understand your relationship with money.
But that aside, if you cannot afford to take both of you out for a coffee/desserts date, take a break from dating and work on your financial health first, because it will keep you stressed and while you cry about having to pay for coffee, another dude would sweep her off her feet because...
...most women may not be looking for you to have 10 billion dollars in your bank account, but in case you both intend on getting married and having a family together, they have a right to assess if you can afford the fact that she can take some time off her work and look after herself (after the delivery) and the baby without your family getting driven to poverty. I understand Maternity leaves and all, but women's brains are prepared to deal with the worst, and they factor in everything and more, even if subconsciously. It contributes to them feeling 'safe' regarding the future. (Not all women, but many. And this is no sin.)
(I am talking about an average scenario. If you are a person whose dynamics worked out in a circumstance different from this, good for you. I have approximated this basis what my guy friends came across in the dating pool. This depends on the privileges, level of education, upbringing, mindset etc, and sometimes varies from person to person within the same family.)
8) Speaking of Equality...
... I hope your house-keeping, care-taking, and cooking skills are in alignment with the kind of contribution you are expecting from your partner in terms of finances.
Equality is not a one-way street. And no, I 'let her' drink is not Equality.
9) If you are looking for a one-night-stand, state it upfront, the first thing. For some weird reason, the max amount of respect is garnered by guys who mention this right in the beginning. Or, better still, mention it on your profile itself, saves everyone the hassle.
10) Emotional Intelligence
There will be m-a-n-y things, in life and on the internet, that you may not like. If at all, this is where you need to practice Stoicism.
Don't believe that there should be more genders than two? Cool, keep scrolling.
Don't understand what is this 'they/them' business in pronouns of individuals? No problem. Put forth your point in a civilized manner and move on. You don't have to dunk on people.
See a 43-year-old unmarried woman asking for advice regarding her love-life? Do you have something constructive to contribute? No? Keep scrolling.
Some lady wore sleeveless to the office? Unless you have something positive to say, keep your opinion to yourself.
See a 63 YO 'aunty' on a dating app? Are you interested? No? Keep Swiping.
Understand that the world does not need your permission exist. (Yes! I know! I am equally baffled!)
Your inherent need to straighten the World does two horrible things to you:
- You end up focusing on things that should be none of your business, thereby adding no value to your own life. At worst, you become an outdated version of your parents (who, by the way, might have still been relevant in their times) in a world that needs you to be hyper-agile in your mindset (and regarding your ability to change your opinion and understand the other person's perspective). But I understand that this may be quite a tall order for the majority of the people.
- Every time you hyper-fixate on fixing things outside of you, you lose the opportunity that could have either given you a better understanding of something you don't have the first-hand understanding of, or helped you focus on yourself.
There is no magic wand to becoming an emotionally intelligent person. In the era of tech and ChatGPTs, your EQ is what will make you stand out. Period.
11) Self-worth.
Pause, and understand your worth, (or the lack of it). Don't just randomly hope to be swiped right by anyone. If you are marred by low self-worth, it reflects in every aspect of your life, including how you talk. Take a break from dating and work on your self-worth.
Building self-worth is an inside job.
There is a friend I have who is a Coder by the day and a Baker by the night. Once or twice every month, he invites us over for an evening of chilling around where we also get to sample the latest recipes of cake, quiches, pizzas, and breads he has tried.
The dude is 35YO, the most zen person I know, has never had to be on dating apps because his hobby has everyone chasing him for recipes, 'let's bake together?' (s), ingredients etc. Not a one-night-stand sort of guy, so the street-cred works in his favor. When he dates, he sticks to a lady until things don't work out for whatever genuine reason there is. Once he and the lady part ways, both of them never bad-mouth each other.
Take from that what you will.
Working on your self-worth is stacking up of favorable actions, one after the other. There is no abra-ca-dabra to this.
Also,
- Refrain from becoming someone because of whom women have to close their DMs. Over time, you will lose respect for yourself, and that happens very silently.
- There is a difference between speaking the truth and being harsh. Your ability to learn the difference and the art will single-handedly be responsible for success in your profession as well as your personal life.
- For some weird reason, a 25 YO man from a Western country is far more emotionally evolved as compared to an Indian man. That is one part of it. The other part of it is that most Indian men are so surrounded by their own type, that they r-e-a-l-l-y will have to break a lot of cycles to even fathom what is expected of them. To break this cycle, educate yourself ruthlessly. Accounts like this may help you break the mould to some extent, but you will still need to break the cycle with respect to your surroundings. Hangout with men who see women in positive light.
- The women you are trying to woo, have their standards constantly reset by content from all over the world. You have to understand what you are up against.
12) Understand how Reticular Activating System works regarding attracting the right mate.
Reticular Activating System is explained the best here.
And how to hack it is explained here.
From Marketing and Communication stand-point, no brand spends h-o-u-r-s ridiculing and hating on the prospective consumer. Instead, they spare no efforts in getting to know their consumer and then tailoring their offerings to ensure that the consumer sticks around.
This is what I mean when I say know your Comsumer.
(Anyway, what is the point of hating on women throughout the day, and then crying here in the group at night asking for feedback on your dating profile to woo, drumrolls, those same women?)
When it comes to women, your competition is not another man. It is her peace of mind. This is what I mean when I say 'know your Competitor'.
13) What makes dating difficult?
Not the process.
It is you hoping that it was easier.
But this is one aspect that demands ruthless growth. Just embrace the pain and hardships of getting left-swiped on and use it to upgrade your mindset and mentality. But all the while, be kind to yourself and know that you are doing your best.
14) One last thing...
Analyze if any part of your childhood/teenage was chaotic or traumatic. What we experience in our childhood, if left untreated, goes on to become our 'normal' in adulthood.
So, if you grew up in chaos, peace would seem boring to you. You will constantly look for 'spark' instead of comfort and end up attracting damaged goods.
If your childhood was not peaceful, it may be worthwhile to consider therapy. Therapy is good, it brings out the gunk of the soul that you did not know you were carrying around, all the while stinking because of it.
If you are interested in understanding this better, read Letting Go and Attached.
The thing is, you attract your tribe.
If you are attracted to someone, something in them must have resonated with you. Surprisingly, many times, it is the toxity that binds two people together.
And toxity in oneself is the most difficult to accept.
To stop attracting damaged goods, you will have to heal yourself.
You will be surprised what a therapist can do. You may have to look around for a while before you chance upon a good one though. Twitter has two crowd-sourced list, in case you need: List 1, List 2.
Notice how I haven't touched upon topics like what you should write in your bio/profile or what you should message her because these things are a direct manifestation of who you are. They can be 'manufactured' but only to some extent. The mind games last only for so long. After that, you will have to work on yourself.
I hope this makes sense to some extent and someone. Take time to read this. I don't expect anyone of you to get all of it in one go.
If you disagree, happy to hear your point of view.
Thank you for reading!
Have a lovely dating journey.
2023.06.08 18:54 VirtuousFool_ Instrument of Ill-Fate: A LitRPG Adventure [Chapter 01]
Synopsis:
In the realms of Skysea, where destinies are moulded by the pantheon, one young man defies the established order.
Denied Aether on his Adulthood ceremony, Zaire was dragged by cruel whims of fate to somehow awaken Emerald Aether, setting him on the path of a Mage.
But his awakening hardly had anything to do with the pantheon. Deeper secrets reside within him and in the System. Why was he exiled to the backwater village? What did those recurring nightmares and visions entail? And what's with the cursed dagger?
Zaire will search for the answers to them all, but before that, he must master his power. Great evil lurks near his village.
Next
Carmel Village, Spring, 3617 years of the System
As the morning of System Inauguration Day dawned, countless individuals awakened with hopes and dreams for what the future held for them. Sadly, Zaire was of a completely different sentiment.
He had risen before the break of dawn, and went through all the rigorous training his mother demanded, and now, found himself on the receiving end of her ruthless thrashing in the spar.
"Move with purpose," Ella barked, her blade poised for the next strike. "I didn't teach you to be sloppy."
His limbs ached from all the exhaustive exercises, leaving him far from his peak during their spar. Not that it would have made a difference—Ella was in a particularly foul mood this morning.
Gritting his teeth, Zaire shifted into a defensive stance, though he didn’t see its purpose with Ella being... Ella. With narrowed eyes, he observed her approach. Despite her tall and heavy stature, she was light on her feet. Her training rod, held high, swung mercilessly towards Zaire in a threatening arc. He managed to block the first strike, but struggled to parry the following ones, barely delaying her advances.
There was no room for him to push forward. Zaire found himself constantly on the defensive, forced to withdraw under the unrelenting onslaught. Each contact between their weapons sent electric spasms through his arms, intensifying the ache.
"No," Ella yelled, her voice piercing the air. Unsatisfied. "I'm not seeing it yet. You are better than this."
Those words struck a nerve within Zaire, prompting him to shift his weight onto his front foot and mount a more committed front. His moves lacked refinement compared to hers, but he put more force behind them, although he knew it would hardly make a difference against a Retired Knight who was well over 200 levels.
But Ella would be more content seeing him trying to get a hit.
"That's more like it," Ella remarked, parrying his attack, a hint of satisfaction in her smile.
They continued sparring for another two minutes, leaving Zaire utterly spent and sprawled on the ground. At that moment, he couldn't help but wish that someone else had adopted him, someone who wouldn't subject him to such gruelling training sessions every morning.
She seriously needed a man in her life, Zaire thought.
"Clean the weapons and tools and you'll have your day," Ella instructed, placing the duelling cane among the rest of the equipment.
Zaire responded with nothing more than a grunt.
"I'll go check on your sister," Ella continued. "Hopefully, she's finished preparing the meal, so we can go to the temple for her awakening."
Zaire remained on the ground, still catching his breath from the exertion his mother had put him through.
Today marked System Inauguration Day, an event where individuals who had reached the age of sixteen would awaken their Aether and embark on the path the gods set for them.
A year ago, Ella was adamant about moulding Zaire into a Knight like herself, despite his fervent aspirations to pursue the path of a Mage. While he displayed considerable skill in swordsmanship and other weapons, Zaire's true passion had always been spellcraft.
He had tirelessly studied spell models and diagrams, fearing that the gods might mistake his talent for swordsmanship and force him into becoming a Knight Squire, as his mother had always desired. Zaire had invested double the effort in learning the spell models than in honing his swordsmanship skills, but it seemed the gods were merciless in their choices.
On his Age day last year, Zaire's dreams of becoming a Mage remained unfulfilled. Matter of fact, he hadn't awakened any Route at all. Completely no reaction from the Aethers.
Even the most humble and unfledged youths of the village had awakened as Woodcutters, Farmers, or Merchants, but Zaire was left without any designation.
The gods had deemed him Routeless. A Faithless Cur.
If only they would grant me another opportunity, Zaire thought, clenching his jaws in frustration. However, he couldn't be certain that it would make any difference. They had attempted various other methods, infusing him with different types of Aether, but most only resulted in agonising concussions and rendered him unconscious.
"Stop gazing at nothing with that long face," a feminine voice broke him through his contemplation abruptly.
Startled, Zaire found himself face to face with Faye, clad in a simple white gown, ready for the Awakening Event. The siblings were strikingly dissimilar in appearance. Faye stood with a full head shorter than him, her features set her apart from the villagers. Her hair was of burning silver, cascading over her shoulders, in contrast to their foster mother Ella’s blonde and his black.
Had it not been for Ella's integrity, Zaire would have suspected that the retired knight had stolen Faye from a noble house. Yet, he was even more perplexed by the implications of her unique features.
It was very likely that Faye was blessed by the Aether. Her pearl eyes and silvery hair were hints of that. He couldn’t think of them as just a coincidence.
His frustration grew with those thoughts.
"If I'm not mistaken, Mum asked you to hone all the weapons and clean everything else," Faye reminded him, breaking the silence. "You're going to get an earful for that."
Zaire grunted as he rose from his seat and made his way to the toolbox. His fingers deftly manoeuvred a knife against the grinding stone, the metallic scraping sound filling the air. Faye lingered in the yard.
"Aren't you missing something?" she asked, eyebrows raised.
Pausing his grinding, Zaire lifted his gaze to meet hers. Clueless
"Aren’t you going to wish me luck?"
"I don't think you'll need any luck from me," he replied with a sigh. "But for what it's worth, I wish you good fortune, Pumpkin. Hopefully, you'll awaken a formidable Route, and Mum will stop nagging about training me to become your Knight."
Ella had expressed her desire for Zaire to become Faye's Knight since she had adopted them. However, Zaire wasn’t so sure about her requiring protection. As far as he was concerned, it was the others who needed protection from her.
Faye arched an eyebrow, looking at all the items scattered around him. All this could take over an hour to finish easily. "I understand that this is difficult for you, but I hope you'll be there during the ceremony."
"What are you talking about?" Zaire responded, his smile beaming brightly. "There's no way I would miss this occasion."
He made sure his words carried genuine excitement and support, assuring her.
Faye beamed as she excitedly returned to the house to prepare for the ceremony. Zaire couldn't help but release a sigh and refocused his attention on his sharpening task.
A few minutes later, Faye emerged from the house along with their mother. She informed Zaire that they expected him to join them in the temple. Knowing that the ceremony would last for a couple of hours, Zaire was confident he would be able to complete his work and catch up with them in due time.
Zaire hastened his grinding pace, swiftly honing the blades one after another. Fatigue began to take its toll, and his arms throbbed. In his haste, the sharp edge of the blade sliced through Zaire's index finger.
“Damnation,” Zaire cursed, jolting his finger, causing crimson blood to splatter across all weapons and tools that surrounded him.
It had already been over half an hour since Faye had departed for the ceremony, and he still had a few daggers left to sharpen. If he were to tend to the cut properly, he definitely would be delayed. Exhaling, Zaire gave a couple of minutes for the blood to stop flowing out and clutched the next weapon in line—a worn dagger with a hilt that had seen better days.
Prepared to resume his grinding, Zaire steadied the dagger against the sharpening stone, this time putting pressure with his palm instead of fingers.
However, to his astonishment, the moment his fingers made contact, the blade began disintegrating into a swirling cloud of black smoke.
“What in the world!” Zaire broke into a fit of uncontrollable coughs as the thick smoke enveloped him, obscuring his vision. Within moments, the smoke dissipated, leaving behind nothing but empty air.
The dagger had vanished, dissipating into thin air as if it had never existed.
Zaire stood frozen in disbelief, his gaze fixated on his empty hands where the weapon should have been. He blinked repeatedly, hoping to get a hint to explain the inexplicable turn of events. He had spent years cleaning and sharpening tools, but he had never encountered anything remotely similar to this disconcerting phenomenon.
"I hope Mum will understand," Zaire muttered to himself, a sense of relief washing over him as he realised that the vanished dagger was not one of the cherished weapons.
After completing his errands, Zaire swiftly changed into a more presentable tunic, eager to make his way towards the temple.
Carmel Village, situated on the very fringe of the empire, could easily be labelled as a secluded backwater village. Despite its remote location, it possessed an old temple devoted to Goddess Solas. Solas, one of the twelve prominent deities of the Skysea, the Mistress of Union and Harmony. The folks of Carmel were pretty diverse in their faith, but it didn’t stop them to crowd over the old temple on occasions such as this.
Nestled amidst a serene expanse of wheat fields, the temple stood as a weathered and unpretentious chapel that seemed to have withstood the test of time. Clearly failing to reflect the true grandeur and influence associated with the primordial goddess.
Time had taken its toll on the temple, evident with the stonewalls bearing marks of weathering. A similar, if not more, withered stone arches led his path to the sanctuary where people crowded over, clamouring. As Zaire crossed the arches, a modest statue at the heart of the plaza came into his sight. One simply couldn’t assume that to be a statue of the goddess without context, considering it was challenging to determine whether the statue depicted a male or female figure.
Zaire ventured inside, only to be met with a sea of people obstructing his path. The number of adults in attendance far surpassed the youths present for the ceremony. Zaire's eyes swiftly located the two women with their distinct blonde and silvery hair, positioned on one side of the gathering. To his surprise, it seemed that they had also noticed him, as Ella pointed him out to the young girl and waved her hand in his direction.
After a couple of good minutes of shoving and wrestling with the people, Zaire managed to reach them, but he was already breathless by that point. It appeared that Faye was patiently awaiting her turn, as the guest priest called individuals forward one by one to the Ascendant Pool in the other chamber.
Fortunately, the priest conducting the ceremony was not the same one who liked to blabber too much during Zaire's previous visit. Nevertheless, an unsettling restlessness settled in his stomach as he regarded others.
"Are you alright?" Ella asked, concern laced in her voice.
"I'm fine," he replied, "just a bit breathless from the sprint."
"It's good that you came," his foster mother interjected. "I understand this isn't easy for you, but you must realise there are other paths beyond what the gods set us for."
Zaire clenched and unclenched his jaw, choosing to remain silent as he settled himself in a corner, leaning against the wall. They had indeed explored other avenues, ones that diverged from paths the pantheons chose for them, but none had brought about any meaningful change within him, except subjecting him to excruciating agony.
Regardless, it was Faye's special day, and he couldn't make it all about himself. Taking a deep breath, he adopted a carefree expression and engaged in conversation with his family.
The newly appointed guest priest for the ceremony appeared to be a stern man. Observing the chaotic gathering in the hall, which was no better than a bustling fish market, he dismissed the families who had already completed their ceremonies. Even among those still present, he allowed only two relatives to accompany the youths of appropriate age.
In a matter of seconds, the hall grew more spacious as more than half the attendees dispersed.
"Now we'll have fewer people bothering Faye once she completes her ceremony," Zaire joked, playfully nudging the silver-haired would-be maiden on the shoulder.
Faye snorted in response. "What, you think I'd enjoy when boys pester me until Mum has to brandish her sword to scare them away?"
Faye glowered at him, but upon witnessing his laughter, she couldn't help but burst into giggles herself. Her nervousness about the ceremony subsided significantly.
Zaire scoffed, exclaiming, "What are you even worried about? You got this."
“It’s just that. . .” Faye's voice trailed off. She didn't need to finish her sentence because Zaire understood her fears all too well. She dreaded the possibility of her ceremony turning out exactly like his. Her unique traits made her more apprehensive than confident.
"You'll be fine," Zaire reassured her, gently patting her head. Being a head taller than her, it was effortless for him to make her feel small and comforted. But that’ll end soon. . .
In quick succession, people gradually cleared out, and within half an hour, the hall was nearly empty, with only three more families remaining for the ceremony.
"Oh, crap! I need to go," Zaire exclaimed abruptly, startling both Faye and their foster mother. "Nature calls." He provided a curt explanation for his sudden departure and hastily rushed out of the temple.
Zaire swiftly made his way out of the hall, the sparse number of people remaining making his way out easier. However, in his haste, he failed to consider the possibility of encountering folks just outside the door.
Zaire caught sight of locks of golden hair just before colliding with someone the moment he emerged from the door. It was a young girl who had just undergone her age ceremony and ended up falling alone from the impact.
Zaire stumbled, barely regaining his balance and scattered attention until he could finally discern who he had collided with.
"Diana," Zaire instinctively called out, stooping down to extend a helping hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you there."
"You shouldn't be running inside the temple," Diana said, raising her right arm to inspect the bruise on her elbow. Her eyes were teary.
"I’m really sorry," Zaire repeated, more genuinely.
"It's alright," Diana sighed, accepting his arm and allowing him to assist her in standing up. Her expression showed she was bothered by something else entirely other than the little bruise she got from the collision. It could be that she didn’t get the right class she desired.
If it weren’t for the urgency, Zaire would have stayed there for a few minutes to listen to her and reassure her. But the growing pressure in his bladder made it harder for him to be considerate.
Regardless, the situation didn’t conclude there as Zaire hoped, as he found a group of youths led by Alex, a blond youth who went through Ella’s for a few months.
There was no way in hell they could resist the urge to aid a damsel in distress. Granted, in this particular instance, the damsel was only mildly bruised, but you try to explain that to them.
"I wondered who else would have the audacity to act so impudently within the sacred temple," Alex interjected. The blond youth had undergone his ceremony last year, along with Zaire. "Of course, it had to be you, Zaire. Why are you even here? Hoping to partake in the awakening ceremony once again?"
Alex didn't miss the chance to strike where it hurt the most. However, his counterparts were one level above him.
"Fat chance of that," Kash, a short, mousey-looking black-haired boy of their age, chimed in. "Ignoring everything, his blatant behaviour in the goddess's temple alone shows that he's unsuited for the path."
"Kash, we're all aware of your lack of intelligence," Zaire retorted, more irritated than angry. "No need to open your mouth and prove it to us again."
The mousey-looking youth glared at Zaire before turning his attention to the others. "Did I say something wrong?" he barked. "You have no fibre of reverence for the goddess. Why do you think you're still lost and—"
Zaire stifled a yawn. "I have more important matters to attend to than engaging in a pointless argument with you lots,”
The persistent pressure in his bladder reminded him of the true urgency at hand. With an apologetic smile directed at the blonde maiden, he hurried away.
Tackling the argument, Zaire now faced another predicament he had no time to dwell upon. While the temple may have been humble and worn out, it still resided within the holy embrace of the goddess. How could he commit sacrilege by pissing in its vicinity?
However, the pressure continued to mount, leaving Zaire with no other option but to retreat to the rear of the sacred grounds. Discreetly, he found a secluded spot merely a few blocks away from the hallowed area.
To an outsider, it might still appear blasphemous, but he clung to hope that the goddess would be more understanding than her devotees.
Zaire let out a deep exhale, a mixture of relief and frustration intertwining within him. His shoulders slumped as he directed his gaze towards the imposing statue of the goddess perched atop the temple's peak.
Zaire gritted his teeth. Why was it only me? What have I ever done? He wanted to ask her, but he had asked such questions countless times already. The goddess, to her credit, remained silent all these time.
Abruptly, he found his attention fixated on a small window high on the stone wall as Alex’s words resurfaced in his mind.
Without conscious thought, Zaire found himself scaling the walls, driven by an inexplicable force. He climbed towards the window that led to the ceremonial chamber.
Zaire wasn’t even sure what he was trying to prove or if he even thought of the consequences when he latched himself on the window ledge. It was simply an impulse.
Soft rays of sunlight filtered through stained-glass windows, casting a gentle glow upon the worn stone floors of the ceremonial chamber as Zaire cast his sight inside. Amidst the hallowed walls, tapestries, and murals that tell stories of the goddess, Zaire found the small pool next to the altar where another Goddess’s statue stood, in far better shape than the one outside.
A young boy, now an adult, just completed his ceremony and departed. Within a minute, Zaire caught sight of the blond priest ushering Faye into the room. Instinctively, Zaire lowered his head, ensuring to directly not to stare at the high-level priest of the goddess.
The priest focused solely on his sister, guiding her towards the pool. Faye approached the small pool with a reserved expression, her gaze fixed upon the clear and dense water that seemed to possess an otherworldly quality. The surface of the water reflected light differently from ordinary water, as thin misty smoke puffed out.
Faye hesitated for a moment, her mind enveloped in a flurry of unknown thoughts.
"Do not resist the Aether, Daughter," the priest advised, his voice carrying a tone of solemnity. "Embrace its essence, open your heart to the Goddess and let her lead you to your designated path."
Gathering her wits, Faye stepped into the pool, allowing herself to be completely submerged in the hallowed water. Zaire, observing from above, couldn't help but feel a tinge of anxiety.
However, any doubts he harboured dissipated as he witnessed a radiant white glow emanating from the Ascendant pool. Faye emerged from the water, her figure outlined by a blinding light that enveloped her form.
"Blessed! Solus!" exclaimed the priest, his voice filled with astonishment. "The Dream Aether, I knew it."
The intense white light faded as swiftly as it had materialised, leaving Faye slightly disoriented. Her eyes shimmered with an ethereal glow, reminiscent of light dancing through her pearl eyes. A moment later, everything returned to normal.
Dream Aether, Zaire thought, that has to be the rarest form of Aether under ordinary circumstances.
Zaire had his suspicions about it for years. Regardless, this changed everything.
The priest knew it too. If the priest had previously held a mild interest in his sister, now he was entirely captivated, granting her his undivided attention.
"Come on," the priest ushered her out. "I'll explain things more clearly to you, and I shall need to have a conversation with your mother. You have a bright future ahead of you, Fair Lady."
With them gone, Zaire had the room all to himself for whatever he wanted to try. However, he still waited for a couple of minutes, even though the priest had shut the door behind him, signalling the end of the ceremony.
The latch of the stained-glass window opened effortlessly as if it were a sign from the goddess to guide him into the ceremonial chamber. The opening was spacious enough for him to slide in without any trouble. However, the landing posed a challenge, considering he was still about three and a half metres above the ground.
Zaire couldn't afford to cause any disturbance, so he held onto the window ledge and dangled his legs downward. Preparing himself, he leapt like a house cat, albeit only on his feet.
His landing was nearly perfect, causing minimal disturbance. But that didn't give him an advantage; he had to finish this quickly and make his exit before anyone noticed.
Zaire cast one last glance at the statue of the goddess on the altar, his right palm clasped over his heart in a praying manner.
Then he submerged in the cold water. Instantly, a chill rushed through his spine. Unlike what happened to Faye, nothing developed in his case as he remained underwater, controlling his breathing.
The priests had instructed them to be open to the Aether and not resist it. However, how could Zaire resist anything when there was no reaction from the water, except for the uncomfortable shivers coursing through his body?
It was exactly like the previous time, no reaction, and… Zaire's thought process abruptly halted as he noticed the water starting to swirl around him in a terrifying surge.
Zaire couldn't even comprehend what was happening to him as the chill spread through his body and mind, completely stunning him. The priest had advised not to resist, but he wasn't sure if he could even if he tried.
[Awakening conditions met... Initiating Protocol... Analysing...]
[Soul curse remnants discovered.]
[Creating link.]
[Link complete...]
Zaire was completely taken aback, overwhelmed by the unfolding events. And before long, he lost consciousness...
[Purging the curse remnants...]
[ETA: 11:43:12]
Next
2023.06.08 18:31 redditduk [MegaList] SG Gigs & Music Concerts: Mid June (9 - 22 Jun 2023)
June 9 Update v2: Corrected with *. Tiny Moving Parts cancelled. 12-14 June reddit boycott. Bonus 24-jun-only listing hosted off-reddit soon.
submitted by redditduk to singaporemusicchat [link] [comments]
9-Jun Fri
- Shallow Levée 淺堤 (TW indie pop-rock band), lion studios 115b commonwealth drive, $89
- Esplanade: The Nature of Strings - pipa & harp by gildon choo & charmaine teo - day 1, free
- Esplanade Contemporary Dance: Dance at Dusk - The Human Expression (T.H.E) Dance Company - Day 1, outdoor, free
- SSO: Singapore Symphony Orchestra's Magic Hour at Raffles Hotel, raffles hotel lawn, free
- Jazz Loft; UNDERGROUND feat. Tim O'Dwyer & Vuk Krakovic (Gypsy-Klezmer-Balkan-Celtic-Jazz), blu jaz L3 at bali ln, $22
- Maduro: BLUES + SOUL = JAZZ ft. Rick Smith, Richard Jackson & Joshua Wan, jazz bar harding rd (dempsey) $65 drink credits
- Cool Cats: Havana Nights with Dairon - Day 2, jw mariott beach rd, jazz-ish bar $30
- Piano Fest: Tengku Irfan - Recital, victoria concert hall, $20
- Piano Fest: Jonathan Biss - Masterclass, $20
- Piano Talk: Pierre-Laurent Aimard, Victoria Concert Hall, $10
- Klassique Musik: CORINNA Somewhere In Time Meets Winter Sonata, esplanade, $50
- Dance: NUNO by Decandance - day 1, esplanade, $25-$33
- Sopranos Bistro - Jazz & Clar (70s to 90s music live), 18 carpenter st clarke quay
- Las Americas - Barranquilla Night, 43 Tras Street
- Gastrobeats: Tabula (rock), marina bay open space, free
- Drag Event: Baby Queen Movie Screening - SG first drag movie & drag aftershow, projector golden mile, $39
- * DJ, MODAL 1st Anniversary - Tommy Four Seven (techno) & aya, ems, jehm, haw par villa, $45 door available see IG stories
- DJ, CULTURE & Fuego Night 🔥 - Flyness X MOOD (hiphop rnb pop), luxe club marina square, $36
- DJ, JST BCZ - the Drum n Bass Den with Natty Lou, JAC, Suffix Sans, Davros SWTLKR, project x picturehouse (the cathay dhoby), $22
- DJ, Strange Weather - Kelab Malam ft. Dekadenz (JKT) w/ Aditya Permana, Ridwan, Jonathan Kusuma, club iki at ikigai riverwalk (clarke quay), $27
- DJ, COLDPLAY TRIBUTE Flashback Friday by UnfilteredPresents, hard rock cafe orchard, $28
- DJ, 87 Club Street Bar - DJ Matty
- DJ, Throwback Night @ Edition Rooftop Bar - dj andrew chow, 182 clemenceau ave (dhoby), free reg
- DJ, The Gentle's Bar & Records Soft Opening - DJ Aloy (80s), 47a neil road
- DJ, Club Hell, Reincarnation in Hell ft mistress kiramoon, 113 telok ayer (mrt), gay club $35 soldout
- * DJ, Neil Conversion: Beyonce Night, 43 Neil Road, gay bar-club
- DJ, Offtrack: HOLDTight (FRA), beside hong lim park, music gastro bar
- DJ, Potato Head: Seng Wei (disco funk nite), 36 Keong Saik Rd, bar bistro
- DJ, Cherry: Haili, Mindaniel (vn), ayekay, som j, 133 cecil st, ~$30
- DJ, Club Rich: From Taiwan Night - DJ Ashley Baby x MC KTwo, 114 middle road (bugis)
- DJ, MILK: NO Regrets Hardstyle - ft. 3than, rick savage, 530 North Bridge Rd Bugis Point L3, $30
- DJ, Black Horse: 525 Friday ft Joeru with Highness, Gerlexis (hardstyle, oriental edm, open), ming arcade orchard L7, asian style club
- DJ, Drip: GAWLI Sessions ft Y3llo, Jerry Jay, Fakecake, Past 12, Wuu Kee (hiphop, baile funk, pop), 100 Orchard Rd Concorde Hotel, $32
- DJ, Yang Club: The Scene ft Sherpa, reiko, miggy t, mr boo, clarke quay
- DJ, Prism: POSH - Pop Night ft. DJ Limmy, Tajima, Cherish (10s edm), prism club marina square, $27
- DJ, CE LA VI: ANGELOS (GRE, afro house, deep), marina bay sands hotel tower 3, $38
- DJ, Zouk: MAMBO JAMBO Night with ALDRIN & Hong(synthpop, disco, 80s boogie), zouk clarke quay, ~$45
- DJ, Marquee: SHOWTEK (hardstyle, electrohouse), marina bay sands, ~$55
10-Jun Sat
- SLAM 30th Anniversary Concert, star theatre buona vista, $137
- 魏妙如 Ruth Kueo - Safe Haven: Homecoming concert, lion studios 115B Commonwealth Drive, $74
- Zheng Yi (郑怡) & Zhou Zhi Ping (周治平) - Everlasting Love Ballads 那一年， 那首歌 2, esplanade, $88
- Liyana Fizi (MY singer-songwriter folk bossa) ft Subsonic Eye's Wahidah, projector golden mile tower, $38
- Mathcore to Pop-punk Gig: Brainwashed Vol 3 - Circle Line Kid, Heaven Brought Me Hell, Glassmouth, Aggressive Raisin Cat, Flush, phil's studio parklane shopping ctr L5, $20 doors left
- A Capella: NUS Resonance: Vocal Obsession X: the night we met - Day 1, NUS UCC, preview $20
- Esplanade: Pipa & harp by gildon choo & charmaine teo - last, free
- Esplanade Dance: Dance at Dusk by T.H.E - Day 2, outdoor, free
- Jazz Loft: IRESON Latin Jazz Quartet, blu jaz L3 at bali ln, $22
- Simply Jazz: Mario Serio, Louis Soliano Night, B1 Chijmes, jazz bar
- Frenchie Wine Bar: Jazz Music with Rick Smith & Richard Jackson, 81 tras st (tanjong pagar)
- Maduro: KENCHANA JAZZ with Rachma Quartet ft. Soukma, jazz bar harding rd (dempsey), $65 drink credits
- Cool Cats: Havana Nights with Dairon - Last, jw mariott beach rd, jazz-ish bar $30
- SCO: For Our Dreams: Wang Chenwei’s Composition Showcase (cond. Tsung Yeh), SCO concert hall, $40
- Chinese Orchestra: SCO - For Our Dreams: Wang Chenwei's Composition Showcase 逐梦: 王辰威作品专场音乐会, 7 shenton way, left $40
- Chinese Orchestra: Ding Yi Music Company - 绣艺•留香 Intimate Intricacies (cond. Quek Ling Kiong), SCCC 1 Straits Boulevard, $28
- Piano Fest: Jonathan Biss Recital, victoria concert hall, $20
- Piano Fest: Masterclass by Tengku Irfan, victoria concert hall, $20
- Ballet x Orchestra: Symphony of Dance - SNYO x Singapore Ballet, esplanade, $20
- Ballet: Cheng Youth Ballet Academy - Révérence 2023 - Day 1, NUS UCC, $50
- Talk: Our Voices: Dialogue on Intercultural Music (classical), National Library, free
- Blackbird: Johnny Come Lately (eagles tribute night + surath&rene), gillman barracks music bar
- Hero's Bar: Embers (rock, funk), 69 circular rd boat quay
- Timbre One-North: Strait Up Blues Open Jam, jtc launchpad one-north, $20 per jammer with drink
- Gastrobeats: A-List & Onelove, marina bay open space, free
- Drag: RIOT!, hard rock cafe orchard, $15
- Roller Skate: HiRoller Skate Rink's Disco Night!, Pasir Ris E!Hub
- DJ, CAWFEE MIX!! 4th Anniversary - J-Core, Anime-song x Bass Music ft 3R2 (TW), rainry, rinairi/VITICZ/yungbentai/Vanille Altzy/10SAI/WINDY, Wild Pearl Studio Micro-club 195 Pearl's Hill Terrace (chinatown), $28
- DJ, Goth Event: The Batcave Project: Batastrophe ft. Kabuki Kaiser, Katronyk, Grave, Jono (darkwave post-punk, industrial, ebm), Hexenskye Studios at York Hill (near furama riverfront), $25
- DJ, TRANCE4M International ft Paul Denton (IRE), rob z, club iki @ ikigai riverwalk clarke quay, $45
- * DJ, FUEGO NIGHT BEACH FIESTA DJs Kfaith & Skilla (Reggaeton, Afrobeats, Hip Hop, pop), sand bar 53 siloso beach walk Sentosa, $30
- DJ & Live Music: Transcend Ego Dissolving Dance Party by Mantravine ft yetpet, tom shellsuit et al., kult kafe the grandstand 200 turf club road (sixth avenue), $20
- DJ Queer Brunch: SUNNY SIDE UP: thugshop x fomohomo pink pride edition - Your queer boozy brunch party , 66 boat quay, $55
- DJ, Pool Party: AQUA AFFAIR (kollywood x bollywood ft DJ Prasen, Melwin, Helsing), one farrer hotel, $30
- DJ, Element Hip-hop Edition 2 - ft. DJ Marie, Badgaldidi, suffix_sams, mr gray, misfits bar 18 ciruclar rd (boat quay), $21
- DJ, Afterlife - Pop Queens Crush (y2k era) ft. 3than, Ling, scruple & dahlia rose), prism club marina square, $35
- DJ, Melodic Beats house/techno rooftop party - ft VIOLESC, Kid Barna & PMIGALIC, Club Di Lusso 2 Hastings Rd (rocholittle india), $20
- DJ, Mukke: berlin meets ibiza in singapore - ft. toasty, ultra vibrance (AU), frau meyer, Koppa (DE) - tech house/baeleric?, projector x picturehouse (the cathay dhoby), $22
- DJ, Parliament Bar's Disco Dream nite, 18 teck lim road (outram)
- DJ, The Gentle's Bar & Records Soft Opening - DJ Itch (Asian Boogie, funk, city pop), 47a neil road
- DJ, JinJu Korean Bar's DJ Night Inaugural - DJ Ilhammi Tan (edm), clarke quay
- DJ, LAST SATURDAYS - the late saturday mystery show ft HBN, Jiang, Haili, dm this IG, $10
- DJ, GrooveTop Garage (UKG, UK Funky, hiphop) ft. Head of Vibes, Kenneth Francis & Joshua P, Neon Pigeon 36 Carpenter St clarke quay, $30
- DJ, Manifest - Dirty Techno Series ft DOBé (DE), MINDANIEL (VN), NINO BLINK + JAMIE REACT (UK), yang club clarke quay, $30
- DJ, Kpop Arcade #14 - SVT (SEVENTEEN) NIGHT ft. kafekcj , Majesty Chen Oxley Tower L20, 138 robinson rd, left $50 doors
- DJ, Vertigo 26: Unker 4 - 80s SynthPop / Hair Rock nite, at MINT Museum City Hall, listening bar
- DJ, Moonstone: Ya5th (hiphop rnb), 103 amoy st
- DJ, Potato Head: Shaun Nocturnals + Mutiah Ashnim, 36 Keong Saik Rd, bar bistro
- DJ, Drip: After The Noon (PH) - also top 40s, edm, hard, hiphop rnb, 100 Orchard Rd Concorde Hotel, $32
- DJ, Club Hell, F*!@ Me in Hell, 113 telok ayer (mrt), gay club $35 soldout
- DJ, HQ: Halal Sol, The Weatherman, TMDDJ (house, techno), hq club 66A boat quay, $30
- DJ, CE LA VI: Glam Bash, marina bay sands hotel
- DJ, Black Horse: Miggy T, Highness, Gerlexis (hardstyle, oriental edm, open), ming arcade orchard L7, asian style club
- DJ, MILK: Viva La Vida (reggaeton, latin hits, guaracha) ft. relibre, snickaz, dj naddz, 530 North Bridge Rd Bugis Point L3, $30
- DJ, Capital Zouk: Poparazzi - Caden & Ghetto feat. MC T-Fresh (pop), capital zouk clarke quay (22+ yo), ~$50
- DJ, Tuff: CHRISTIAN SMITH (tech house), tuff club 138 robinson rd cbd, $35
- DJ, Luxe: Inquisitive & Farah Farz, luxe club marina square, $50
- DJ, Zouk: MAKJ (big room edm), zouk clarke quay, ~$45 with 2 drinks
11-Jun Sun
- William Youn Piano Recital - Echoes of Silence (schubert, ravel), SCO 7 shenton way sco conference hall, $25
- SPECTACLE! - Estelle Fly, Alfred Sun, BINI, BGYO, XOXO, YES MY LOVE - AOR Global showcase Best of S-Pop & P-Pop, esplanade, $35
- Christy Smith - Tribute to FESTAC'77 & Fela Kuti (jazzy afrobeat) - Mosiac Music Series, esplanade, $38
- Tong Yao 桐瑶 - Best of Teresa Teng 邓丽君 Tribute Concert, esplanade, $48
- Esplanade: Flamenco Meets Jazz Music - amanda lee x dancer Tania Goh, free
- Esplanade: Beautiful Sundays: Sparkswind Ensemble Relaxed Concert, free reg limited
- Esplanade Contemporary Dance: T.H.E Dance Company - Last, outdoor, free
- Piano Fest: Pierre-Laurent Aimard Recital, victoria concert hall, $20
- A Capella: NUS Resonance: Vocal Obsession X: the night we met - Day 1, NUS UCC, preview $20
- Blu Jaz: New Stream Brass Band (new orleans style), blu jaz at bali ln, $22 soldout
- Talk: SCCC's TV Festival 生命传承 - 华彩电视节 ft Bryan Wong, Chen Liping, Marcus Chin, Low Wee Liang, Cheong Yan Peng, Gao Mei Gui, Ayden Sng, 1 Straits Boulevard, free reg
- Standup Comedy: Aravind SA's We Need to Talk, Alliance Française Theatre (newton), $65
- Ballet: Cheng Youth Ballet Academy - Révérence 2023 - Last, NUS UCC, $50
- Dance: Authentic Flamenco - Paula Rodríguez (last), Kewalram Chanrai Arts Centre (Robertson Quay), $65
- Blackbird: Cat Mountain Kings - blues and rock, also jack and rai, raw earth , gillman barracks music bar
- DJ, Foxtail at The Back Room - ft DJ Mari, Haili, Tasha, 36 club street, cocktail bar free reg
12-Jun Mon
- Cui Xia 萃霞 aka Felinda Wong - 40 Years of Golden Hits, esplanade, ~$15
- Esplanade: After Tea Date with Ywenna Quinn (shanghai vocal jazz), free
- Esplanade Live Visual Art x Classical: Birds of Fantasy - Artist Jacky Mak x David Loke, Charmaine Teo, Dingchao Huang - Day 1, free
- Scary Psychedelic Night at The Fluxus House - Sakiko Performance Art x Cruise Chen, 23 teo hong road (outram/keong saik), also an exhibition till june 30, free
13-Jun Tue
- Esplanade Live Visual Art x Classical: Birds of Fantasy - Artist Jacky Mak x David Loke, Charmaine Teo, Dingchao Huang - Last, free
- SIMPLY JAZZ: Ireson (Latin Jazz sextet), chijmes b1 Jazz Bar
- The Purple Symphony Annual Concert 2023 Day 1, 7 shenton way sco conference hall, $20
- Improv Storytelling: What's Your Story SLAM: Summer, projector golden mile tower, $40
14-Jun Wed
- Lee Seung Gi, resorts world sentosa, $168
- Nobuyuki Tsujii Returns to Singapore (pianist), Esplanade, $48
- Chinese Theatre: Cao Yu's Sunrise by Jin Xing Theatre Shanghai & Mars Drama - Day 1, esplanade, $88
- Esplanade Theatre/Visual/Ambient: Transit 步: The Performance, free
- Cool Cats Jazz: The Blues: with Skunk Jive, jw mariott beach rd (esplanade), jazz-ish bar $30
- Candlelight: Best of Hans Zimmer by vocalise string quartet, the arts house (city hall), left $52
- Blackbird: Rockweller (hard rock), gillman barracks live music bar
- Standup comedy: Jinx Yeo at Mo's Grill & Bar West Coast, opposite haw par villa MRT, $22
- Punk History TouDialogue: POST PUNK with Shaiful Risan, 345 geyland rd Pavilion Square, $15-$25 with drink
- DJ, Prism: Ladies First with tarot Cards and Kandi Beads, prism pan pacific, femme free with timing - men $30
- DJ, Offtrack: Nightcap with DJ ITCH (asian boogie, funk, citypop), beside hong lim park, music gastro bar
- DJ, Potato Head: DJ Yenn (hiphop rnb nite), 36 Keong Saik Rd, bar bistro
15-Jun Thu
- The Purple Symphony Annual Concert 2023- Last, 7 shenton way sco conference hall, $20
- Esplanade Rap x Chinese Classical x Text?: Axel Brizzy, Calista Liaw, Jeremy Wong, Wovensound, Khalif Rawi - The Art of War 2.0 - Day 1, free
- Chinese Theatre: Sunrise - Day 2, esplanade, $88
- Cool Cats Jazz: Alina Ramirez plays Latin Jazz, jw mariott beach rd (esplanade), jazz-ish bar $30
- Candlelight: Vivaldi's Four Seasons - by Vocalise string quartet, the arts house city hall, $35
- DJ, CLUB RICH: DJ Dash, Lionnexus & a mystery DJ - EURO RETURN 2, 114 middle road (bugis)
- DJ, Offtrack: Daryl Knows, beside hong lim park, music gastro bar
16-Jun Fri
- SUGA of BTS Agust D - Day 1, indoor stadium, $168 soldout
- 伍佰 WU BAI AND CHINA BLUE ROCK STAR 2023 巡迴演唱会 - Day 1, resorts world sentosa, $78
- Metal/Core/HC Gig: That Incredble Gig in JUNE ft. TARIOT, Aggressive Raisin Cat, Destiny, Overthrown, Tailgates, Shy Guys, centre 42 waterloo st (bras basah), $16
- Esplanade: Cheats (PH), outdoor, free
- Esplanade: Shirly Temple (indie-rock, 60s psych pop), outdoor, free
- Esplanade Rap x Chinese Chamber Classical x Text?: Axel Brizzy, Calista Liaw, Jeremy Wong, Wovensound, Khalif Rawi - The Art of War 2.0 - Last, free
- Chamber: More Than Music Trio - Notes of Passion (dvorak, strauss, sibelius, tartini) - day 1, esplanade, $20-$30
- Jazz Loft: Sean Hong Wei Quartet (tenor sax lead). blu jaz L3 at bali ln, $22
- Cool Cats: Nikki Muller, also on 18 Jun, jw mariott beach rd (esplanade), jazz-ish bar $40
- Mandopop Chinese Opera: Who Says It First 戏谁先说 by Nam Hwa Opera - Day 1, 1 straits boulevard, preview, $28
- Chinese Theatre: Sunrise by Jin Xing Theatre Shanghai - Last, esplanade, $88
- Candlelight: A Tribute to ABBA - VOX string quartet, the arts house city hall, $35
- Drag Event: Baby Queen Movie Screening - SG drag movie & drag aftershow, projector golden mile, $39
- Gegarfest: Gerhana Skacinta (ska/rocksteady/reggae), Ryzall Noh, Caliph Buskers, singapore expo, free
- Gastrobeats: Shirlyn + The UnXpected (rock), marina bay open space, free
- DJ, NORTH EAST SOCIAL CLUB x Thugshop: Soul Mass Transit System (UK garage, bassline) ft mza, lemak, helios, tuff club 138 robinson rd cbd, $37
- DJ, HOUSEWRK Presents: SWEDISH HOUSE MAFIA tribute, projector x picturehouse (the cathay), $22 (SHM10 code discount)
- DJ, CIEL X Therapy Room : Open Decks DJ ft. Jas, Daya, Vincent, Mari, BenBen, edition rooftop bar dhoby ghaut (82 clemenceau ave), $22
- DJ, Thugshop XXL Series feat. PIG&DAN (techno, progressive), MDLR 62 cecil street (telok ayer), $40
- DJ, Bailar - Agitar ft piratheeb, kelibre, dj snickaz, djsan, naddz (hiphop reggaeton latinhouse), hard rock cafe orchard, ~$20 not clear
- DJ, AfroDesi Night at Majesty Chen, Oxley Tower L20, 138 robinson rd, $25
- DJ, Phuture Zouk: TRANSFIX invites TRANCE4M by Last One Standing - DJ Tony Hang, Daniel Ang and Joshen, zouk clarke quay
- DJ, Blu Jaz: Back to the 90s with DJ Jag x Big, blu jaz at bali ln, $11
- DJ, Offtrack: Anwar, beside hong lim park, music gastro bar
- DJ, Potato Head: The Beat Usagi + Nino Blink (disco/funk), 36 Keong Saik Rd, bar bistro
- DJ, Yang Club: Kaylova, reiko & kidd royale ft mc hund, clarke quay
- DJ, HQ: GONNO (jp house, techno, ambient). headquarters club 66A boat quay, $37
- DJ, Marquee: Revolution - DJ Zippy's 'Future Rave' night, marina bay sands $20
- DJ, CE LA VI: FLOYD LAVINE (ZA afro house), kenneth f, marina bay sands hotel, $38
17-Jun Sat
- CLANG: 克朗! CHINESE Indie Music Fest - ft 麋先生 MIXER, 9m88, 旺福 WONFU, 守夜人 NIGHT KEEPERS, 海豚刑警 IRUKA PORISU, 甜约翰 Sweet John, 温室杂草 Easy Weeds, pasir panjang power stn, $120
- 伍佰 WU BAI AND CHINA BLUE ROCK STAR 2023 巡迴演唱会 - Last Day, resorts world sentosa, $78
- SUGA of BTS Agust D - Day 2, indoor stadium, $168 soldout
- Dewi Persik - Dangdut Mania ft Rina Nose and Nabila Maharani (INA), Rosalina Musa (SG), star theatre buona vista, $88
- Indie Rock Gig: TURN IT UP Vol II Rabak Records - 8forty5 EP Launch, KYYRA, Nosedive, feelslikeyou, freshpoutine, see link, $20 or doors
- Indie Rock Gig: Pink Cloud Summer - Bellied Star, MRTNS, FADER, Line Drive, Late Culture, see link, $25 soldout
- Esplanade: Door Plant (THA dream-pop/indie-surf band), outdoor, free
- Esplanade: Oh, Flamingo! (PH indie rock), outdoor, free
- Esplanade: ChambeElectronic: In The Living Room ft. Miao Kaiwen, Frances Lee, Chow Jun Yan, free
- Chamber: More Than Music Trio - Notes of Passion (dvorak, strauss, sibelius, tartini) - last, esplanade, $20-$30
- Carnatic Violin Ensemble: Indian Performing Arts Convention 2023: Strings of Gold ft Embar S. Kannan - with Apsaras Arts Dance Co., esplanade, $22 to $35
- SSO Organ: Tom Scott's The Composer and the Mouse + The Carnival of the Animals (family friendly), victoria concert hall, $20
- Jazz Loft: Amanda Lee Swingtet, blu jaz L3 at bali ln, $22
- Mandopop Chinese Opera: Who Says It First 戏谁先说 by Nam Hwa Opera (SCCC Cultural Extravanganza)Last, 1 straits boulevard, $28
- Standup Comedy: Fakkah Fuzz (M18), esplanade, $55
- Kids Ballet: Live Your Story by JE Dance Academy, NUS UCC, $28
- Beatbox Battle: Escension Beatbox Battle by 555 Beatbox, 42 waterloo st (bras basah), $15
- Our Tampines Hub: Let's Rock (retro hits from 60s-70s), tampines, free reg
- Anime Event: MUSIC PROJECT & IDOL Only Event by iFest SG - Day 1, peninsula excelsior hotel ballroom, tics $30
- Soundbath: Mantravine's Soundbath, altered states at kallang riverside park
- Drag/Ballroom: Pink Kiki Ball 2.0 by vogue in progress, with dj bobby pingpongpanda, c2ac, MDLR 62 cecil street (telok ayer), $37 soldout, door available
- Drag Event: Yours Queerly's Queerly Affair 2023, 102 pasir panjang rd, $25
- Prohibited Projects: Distro Day Out - punk/subculture hangout , the substation alley 45 armenian street
- Gegarfest: Khai Bahar, jay jay, nana karia, singapore expo, free
- DJ, DJ Jovynn for Cross Border by Party Lab x Diamondcosg, prism club marina square, $30
- DJ, Pool Party: Party Social's Pool Party - Caribbean Vibes ft DaBishop OnDMix, DJ Cheri, Afro Junior (dancehall, reggaeton, afrobeats hiphop), grand park city hall, ~$20
- DJ, Bussy Temple: Father's Womb (Queer NB Positive Rave) - Dance Divine (DE), Sayang (UK-MY), Halalbutch, Soyf§g, Howrøng, 72-13 Mohamed Sultan Road (robertson quay), $27
- DJ, Stickies x What You Know Dance Battle - Block Party (hiphoppy), Stickies 11 Keng Cheow St (clarke quay), $25 doodm
- DJ, 4xF Uncharted - ft. Vaibs, pure love, Daya, Cosmo Carbon, Labraatz, Kayh (housey), stratos rooftop bar at national design centre (bugis), $27
- DJ, CULTURE Presents Back 2 Two Thousands, luxe club marina square, $32
- DJ, Dance Kartel - Gloo, The Kongsee 10 Gemmill Ln, $20
- DJ, Manifest - Jungle Beats Afrohouse + Tribal Tech - ft Cyril Labaude, Stephen Day, Joshua P, Mandala Club 31 Bukit Pasoh, $30
- DJ, EATMEPOPTART: Electric Feel - If You Leave ft. weelikeme, fantastic dinosaur (80s s disco, pop, funk, new wave), projector x picturehouse (the cathay dhoby), $20
- DJ, Yang Club: Asian Nation ft Noizefaktor (my), sherpa, reiko, mc hund, clarke quay
- DJ, Majesty Chen: Even Up Booze & Schmooze Mixer, Oxley Tower L20, 138 robinson rd, $49
- DJ, KPO: PET SHOP BOYS Tribute Night - admirably with DJ Kenneth Siew, beside orchard central (somerset)
- DJ, Offtrack: Archie (ID), bongomann & daryl knows, beside hong lim park, music gastro bar
- DJ, Tuff: Thugshop x Art Beyond Presents - BERLIN SESSIONS with MATCHY (melodic techno & house), 138 robinson rd cbd, $37
- DJ, HQ: VOISKI (techno, leans ambient), headquarters club 66A boat quay, $37
- DJ, Capital Zouk: Total Recall with Caden & Rattle (90s - 00s), capital zouk clarke quay (22+), $75
- DJ, Zouk: Charged with Hong & Ghetto (bass night), zouk clarke quay, ~$45 with 2 drinks
- DJ, Marquee: Slushii (bass, dubstep/trap), marina bay sands,
18-Jun Sun
- SUGA of BTS Agust D - Last, indoor stadium, $168 soldout
- ITCHYWORMS (PH rock), timbre one-north, $50
- Jesslyn 陈佩贤 x YU JIA TSENG 曾昱嘉 - Heartfelt Concert 走心音乐会4, esplanade, $88
- Esplanade: monda(e) - instrumental rock/post, outdoor, free
- Esplanade: INTERMISSION - post-punk, outdoor, free
- Esplanade AI Theatre: AI x Improv Theatre, esplanade, free
- Carnatic Fusion Jazz/pop: Niranjan Pandian & NP Collective for IPAC - Samavaya - A Euphonic Co-existence, esplanade, $22-$35
- Classical Harp x Audio-Visual: The Four Seasons Reimagined By The Harp Quarterly x Avik Chari x Lynette Quek, national library drama center, $18-$28
- Candlelight: A Tribute to Joe Hisaishi - Candlelight Orchestra, victoria concert hall, left $84
- Live Reggae/Rocksteady/DJ: Sunday Live Reggae with Reggae Remedy ft Izaar, DJ Rumshot, Thirty Six Brewlab 36 Club Street (boat quay)
- Gegarfest: Insomniacks, Rahila, singapore expo
- Chinese Opera: One Opera Singapore 戏曲一家亲 - Cantonese, Hainan Qiong, Hubei Huangmei, Hokkkien, & Teochew Opera (SCCC Cultural Extravaganza), SCCC auditorium, $10 soldout
- Ballet: DuCon Singapore Gala ft Kimin Kim and May Nagahisa of Mariinsky Theatre, SOTA dhoby ghaut,$60
- Avant Dance: PheNoumenon by T.H.E Dance Company (last), esplanade, $28-$40
- Soundbath: Haw Par Chill-Lah: Hypno Sense & Sound Bathing, haw par villa, $60 (also on 17/sat)
- Anime Event: MUSIC PROJECT & IDOL Only Event by iFest SG - Last Day, peninsula excelsior hotel ballroom, tics $30
- DJ, KAMPONG BOOGIE x Potato Head: Straight outta Kampong (hip hoppy, mixed genres, rnb funky), 36 Keong Saik Rd, bar bistro tickets at door
19-Jun Mon
- Esplanade: Meet the East and West: Hindustani classical sitar and Western guitar - ft Guru Susanta Chowdhury & Isuru, free
- Avant Dance: Wild Flower by Jin Xing Dance Theatre Shanghai - Day 1, esplanade, $58
- Candlelight: A Tribute to Jay Chou - by Celeste Syn 冼佩瑾, chijmes city hall, $35
20-Jun Tue
- Esplanade: Meet the East and West: Hindustani classical sitar and Western guitar - ft Guru Susanta Chowdhury & Isuru, free
- Classical Art Song: The 11th Singapore Lieder Festival - Arnold Schoenberg's Pierrot Lunaire , esplanade, $15-$22
- Candlelight: A Tribute to Coldplay - pianist Sueli Tang, chijmes hall city hall, $48
- Avant Dance: Wild Flower by Jin Xing Dance Theatre Shanghai - Last, esplanade, $58
21-Jun Wed
- AI Theatre: AI x Improv Theatre, Esplanade, free
- Cool Cats Jazz: The Jazz Saxophone: with Sean Hong Wei, jw mariott beach rd (esplanade), jazz-ish bar $30
- Candlelight: Magical Movie Soundtracks - pianist Gabriel Hoe, chijmes city hall, $35
- DJ, Potato Head: Prav of .wavy (hiphop rnb), 36 Keong Saik Rd, bar bistro
22-Jun Thu
- Kruelty (JP hardcore), Krusty (MY), Deceased & KillonSight, phil's studio at parklane shopping centre dhoby L5, $35 now
- Esplanade Multidisciplinary Poetry, music, theatre: Between Ground and Sky, exploring Shirley Geok-lin Lim & Tan Tiag Yi , free
- Jazz Loft: HORNS ARE UNIQUE (HAU) ft Benoit Trouwaert, Andreas Marinello, Rick Smith, blu jaz L3 at bali ln, $22
- Cool Cats Jazz: Beautiful Bossanova with Natasha Oong, jw mariott beach rd (esplanade), jazz-ish bar $30
- SIAO CHAR BORS COMEDY: The Big Gay Variety Show, projector golden mile tower, $28
- Voices of Singapore Men's Audition, capitol theatre
- BEERFEST ASIA, Open Carpark beside Kallang Leisure Park
- DJ, Offtrack: Nez Senja, beside hong lim park, music gastro bar
- DJ, Tipsy Penguin turns 5! Tipsy Slumber Party ft. DJ Mad Jester & Emo Nemo + Bolster Fight Championship, NTUC Income Building Tampines Central
Ongoing maybe not music
- Till 25 June Gastrobeats and iLight Singapore, free
- Exhibition: Naruto TV 20th Anniversary Exhibition, marina square, $25, everyday
- Theatre till 18 Jul: Wild Rice's Hotel, funan city hall, $70 for 2 connected shows, every other day
- Theatre till 18 jun: Pangdemonium's Doubt - A Parable, esplanade, ~$60, everyday
- Avant Dance 15-18 Jun: PheNoumenon by T.H.E Dance Company, esplanade, $28-$40
- Ballet Kid-friendly 15-18 jun: Singapore Ballet - Peter & Blue's Birthday Party, school of the arts dhoby ghaut, $35
- Theatre 15-18 Jun: Wild Rice's Singapore Youth Theatre - A Double Bill: Every Student is A Good Student/ In My Head, funan, ~$30 soldout
- Dance till 11 Jun: Authentic Flamenco - Paula Rodríguez, Kewalram Chanrai Arts Centre (Robertson Quay/Fort Canning), everyday, $65
- Indian Arts Workshops 18-24 jun: Indian Performing Arts Convention 2023 Workshops - FB, and IG
- Kid Friendly 9-25 jun: Esplanade: Discovering the Harp! with Laura Peh, only on fri-weekends, free
- Exhibit 13-18 jun: Esplanade: Transit 步: The Installation, free
2023.06.08 18:13 Tifureader9904 Trying to answer some of the ranking questions
Notes beforehand: All the data referenced here is from two documents. Both are publicly available, and I have been working on them since Monday. If there are any mistakes, please let me know and I will edit them as such.
Documents in question:
Top 100 2023 Attendance: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XGGw1TRmZvgP4pse3uoeQfkobNY1BhfTNWVfUPn65d0/edit?usp=sharing
Top player data: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XGGw1TRmZvgP4pse3uoeQfkobNY1BhfTNWVfUPn65d0/edit?usp=sharing
Hello fellow smashers. I have once again become spiteful enough to go through the work of making a ranking post after seeing the wave of posts like these:
https://www.reddit.com/SSBM/comments/141m2jx/is_moky_top_5/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
https://www.reddit.com/SSBM/comments/142r4j5/top_15_as_of_tipped_off_based_on_an_algorithm_im/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
https://www.reddit.com/SSBM/comments/141m2ry/melee_top_10_following_tipped_off_14/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
So, as mentioned before, I created two documents to further display the intricacies of trying to understand who ranks where and add substance backed by the data points I have found.
So without further ado let's get into some general observations (OKAY THESE ARE JUST GENERAL OVERVIEWS):
WITH THESE GENERAL OVERVIEWS OUT OF THE WAY
Let me get into my personal opinions
I DO NOT CARE ABOUT PLACEMENTS ASIDE FROM FIRST. HELL LOSING TO JMOOK AND ZAIN FOR 13TH SHOULD SHOWCASE THAT cool? Cool.
There are tiers of players that I have at the highest, those being Top 3 and Top 5
Top 3 is the East Coast Trifecta (in order): Jmook Cody Zain
Jmook and Cody both have 2 major wins, with Jmook taking the largest event of the year and only suffering one loss outside the top 5 (shoutouts MOF) and Cody suffering 3 (Zamu, Polish, Kodorin). Then there is Zain, who won Tipped Off and has no losses outside the top 5.
The others in the Top 5 are the newly cemented Canadian duo of Moky and Amsa.
These two could be interchangeable, with both having 5 losses outside the top 5 (see data sheet), but if I had to pick it would be amsa who despite being down 0-3 against moky has a stellar 11-4 set count against the rest of the players in my top 15.
FAQ on top 5
Why isn’t zain lower? He only beat mang0 to win Tipped Off?
Well it had 6 of the former top 10 of 2023 and 11 of the top 20 making it the 3rd top heaviest tourney of the year, but go off king. Not to mention not losing to anyone other than Jmook, Cody, and amsa will carry you pretty far in terms of notoriety. I mean why do you think Jmook got ranked so high in the summer MPGR, placing second so many times? That man’s upset potential was 0 outside of Axe and Slug.
Why not put moky above amsa? What are you smoking? Dont you know he's mokying and dokying?
Amsa's stellar 11-4 top 15 h2h (73 winrate%) to moky's 7-3 (70% winrate) despite amsa attending a total of 9 events to moky's 5 so while attending almost double the events amsa has continued to dominate regionals and amsa's 2 wins at regionals/psuedomajors only bolster his resume. This tied in with amsas even 3-3 set count against the other top 5 to moky's 1-3 set count helps
What could moky do to change your mind?
Win a major, or increase his set counts against the top 3/15 respectively. Neither player has won a true major with amsa winning dh san diego and lvl up expo and moky won at the comeup so both are relatively even in terms of pseudo-major wins with amsa having a slight advantage.
Doesn't that mean you are punishing attendance or not attending?
No, Amsa has had 4 more tourneys this far in the year and yet still continues to lead set counts in both top 5 and top 15 because of it. If amsa was losing the smaller events then it would hurt him but because of the fact he is winning it cements a solid foundation and his wins on Jmook and zain propell his stock further than moky's who has yet to take a set off either.
Top 15 (aka half inactive half grinders) no order: Hbox Plup Leffen Kodorin Llod Axe Salt Aklo S2J
For the first time in his career I do not think Hungrybox is top 5, and one could argue he is at the 7 or 8 spot depending on how much you wanna punish him for being 1-7 with the top 5 and 7-10 with everyone mentioned thus far. He has won a tournament though, and you know just because it was Dreamhack Dallas and he was basically playing irl ECF against BBB doesn’t mean anything right? HboxW
Plup, Llod, and Leffen baffle me as they have wins over top 5s and are even against the top 15, but like, can they attend more so i know what in the hell to do with them? Anyways
S2J and Aklo are definitely better than Leffen and Plup in terms of attendance, but both need some serious wins to boost themselves into conversation with top 10.
Kodorin is 4-12 with the top 15, somehow managing to play more than half of his companions thus far despite half of them barely attending.
MANG0 TIER
Yeah idk where the hell I would put him. Dude has wins over Amsa, Moky, Salt, and Aklo but has only tried at 1.5 tournaments so like maybe just not rank him?
Top 15 FAQ’s/ concerns
MANG0’s performances don’t reflect his skill he sandbags and therefore it shouldn’t count and you should only go off of when he tries!!!!!!
Okay at the 1.5 tourneys he has attended, he has beaten Aklo twice, Salt, Moky, and Amsa while losing to jmook and zain. Well, that’s a handfull of data points and I would rather not base someone’s first half of the year off of that so you shouldn't either. So why rank him?
HBOX IS THE GOAT PUT HIM IN TOP 5 AT BEST AND TOP 8 AT MINIMUM
Well uh ya see when you have 2 winning head-to-heads in the top 10 that’s a cause for concern so uh until he finally meets and beats Jmook, Salt, and mang0 in bracket, he will be in limbo because he does not have the wins to push him past 6th at best and 10th at worst.
Why Salt Llod Axe Aklo and S2J as the round out for 15?
Well Aklo and S2J are the best performers at majors and pseudo majors aside from the others,
Axe, Llod, and Salt are in the group of top performers when none of the top 5 are around so it makes sense to me.
Who else do you see sliding into these spots?
Magi, Spark, Soonsay, Polish as far as currently, but that may very well change in the next month, and a lot of players do not have enough data at majors (Zuppy, Trif, Hax$, SFOP, Krudo, pipsqueak, Fiction).
Why are you rating some tournaments above others?
Please refer to my tourneys tab in the top player data sheet where I showcase how some “stacked” majors are only stacked with specific levels of top 100 players, like how despite it’s size combo breaker only had one top 20 player and 11 top 100 players whereas DH san diego had 56 less entrants but had 2 top 10 players and 4 top 20 players and 11 top 100 players.
What do you think is the most decisive factor as far as an indication of a better player?
In this order: Winning a super major (a tourney with an overwhelming number of top talent), winning a major, head-to-heads (tied in with upset potential), regional/pseudo major wins, regional head-to-heads (as a trend not individually). I think attendance is built into the first 4 as a trend as well. Take Cody for instance. It would seem that every regional he attends, he wins. That is something you want out of a top 5 player, as they show dominance against the field while bolstering their head-to-heads, which is why his 2-1 set count with zamu is less concerning than if he was 0-2 or 1-2 etc.
TLDR: some documents, Moky top 5 probably like top 4, the trifecta Jmook Cody Zain mean that East coast is by far the best region, Moky and Amsa carrying Canada with Soonsay not too far behind, do not for the life of me try and rank mang0 as it stands. Please tell me if I missed anything as well as any takes you disagree with.
Tiered rankings
top 3 (ordered) Jmook cody Zain
top 5 (interchangeable slight amsa favored) Amsa Moky
Top 10 (also interchangeable but 6 and 7 kinda above) Plup Leffen Hbox Kodorin Llod/Salt
Top 15 Salt/Llod Axe aklo S2J (mang0)
submitted by Tifureader9904 to SSBM [link] [comments]
Documents in question:
Top 100 2023 Attendance: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XGGw1TRmZvgP4pse3uoeQfkobNY1BhfTNWVfUPn65d0/edit?usp=sharing
Top player data: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XGGw1TRmZvgP4pse3uoeQfkobNY1BhfTNWVfUPn65d0/edit?usp=sharing
Hello fellow smashers. I have once again become spiteful enough to go through the work of making a ranking post after seeing the wave of posts like these:
https://www.reddit.com/SSBM/comments/141m2jx/is_moky_top_5/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
https://www.reddit.com/SSBM/comments/142r4j5/top_15_as_of_tipped_off_based_on_an_algorithm_im/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
https://www.reddit.com/SSBM/comments/141m2ry/melee_top_10_following_tipped_off_14/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
So, as mentioned before, I created two documents to further display the intricacies of trying to understand who ranks where and add substance backed by the data points I have found.
So without further ado let's get into some general observations (OKAY THESE ARE JUST GENERAL OVERVIEWS):
- After last year's abundance of “majors” it is nice to see the return of regional events
- Total Attendance does not mean the tournament is going to be super stacked (until a point)
- Top 10 contenders are very inconsistent when it comes to attending the same events
- There’s a small demographic of players who show up at Regional/pseudo-major events and perform really well.
WITH THESE GENERAL OVERVIEWS OUT OF THE WAY
Let me get into my personal opinions
I DO NOT CARE ABOUT PLACEMENTS ASIDE FROM FIRST. HELL LOSING TO JMOOK AND ZAIN FOR 13TH SHOULD SHOWCASE THAT cool? Cool.
There are tiers of players that I have at the highest, those being Top 3 and Top 5
Top 3 is the East Coast Trifecta (in order): Jmook Cody Zain
Jmook and Cody both have 2 major wins, with Jmook taking the largest event of the year and only suffering one loss outside the top 5 (shoutouts MOF) and Cody suffering 3 (Zamu, Polish, Kodorin). Then there is Zain, who won Tipped Off and has no losses outside the top 5.
The others in the Top 5 are the newly cemented Canadian duo of Moky and Amsa.
These two could be interchangeable, with both having 5 losses outside the top 5 (see data sheet), but if I had to pick it would be amsa who despite being down 0-3 against moky has a stellar 11-4 set count against the rest of the players in my top 15.
FAQ on top 5
Why isn’t zain lower? He only beat mang0 to win Tipped Off?
Well it had 6 of the former top 10 of 2023 and 11 of the top 20 making it the 3rd top heaviest tourney of the year, but go off king. Not to mention not losing to anyone other than Jmook, Cody, and amsa will carry you pretty far in terms of notoriety. I mean why do you think Jmook got ranked so high in the summer MPGR, placing second so many times? That man’s upset potential was 0 outside of Axe and Slug.
Why not put moky above amsa? What are you smoking? Dont you know he's mokying and dokying?
Amsa's stellar 11-4 top 15 h2h (73 winrate%) to moky's 7-3 (70% winrate) despite amsa attending a total of 9 events to moky's 5 so while attending almost double the events amsa has continued to dominate regionals and amsa's 2 wins at regionals/psuedomajors only bolster his resume. This tied in with amsas even 3-3 set count against the other top 5 to moky's 1-3 set count helps
What could moky do to change your mind?
Win a major, or increase his set counts against the top 3/15 respectively. Neither player has won a true major with amsa winning dh san diego and lvl up expo and moky won at the comeup so both are relatively even in terms of pseudo-major wins with amsa having a slight advantage.
Doesn't that mean you are punishing attendance or not attending?
No, Amsa has had 4 more tourneys this far in the year and yet still continues to lead set counts in both top 5 and top 15 because of it. If amsa was losing the smaller events then it would hurt him but because of the fact he is winning it cements a solid foundation and his wins on Jmook and zain propell his stock further than moky's who has yet to take a set off either.
Top 15 (aka half inactive half grinders) no order: Hbox Plup Leffen Kodorin Llod Axe Salt Aklo S2J
For the first time in his career I do not think Hungrybox is top 5, and one could argue he is at the 7 or 8 spot depending on how much you wanna punish him for being 1-7 with the top 5 and 7-10 with everyone mentioned thus far. He has won a tournament though, and you know just because it was Dreamhack Dallas and he was basically playing irl ECF against BBB doesn’t mean anything right? HboxW
Plup, Llod, and Leffen baffle me as they have wins over top 5s and are even against the top 15, but like, can they attend more so i know what in the hell to do with them? Anyways
S2J and Aklo are definitely better than Leffen and Plup in terms of attendance, but both need some serious wins to boost themselves into conversation with top 10.
Kodorin is 4-12 with the top 15, somehow managing to play more than half of his companions thus far despite half of them barely attending.
MANG0 TIER
Yeah idk where the hell I would put him. Dude has wins over Amsa, Moky, Salt, and Aklo but has only tried at 1.5 tournaments so like maybe just not rank him?
Top 15 FAQ’s/ concerns
MANG0’s performances don’t reflect his skill he sandbags and therefore it shouldn’t count and you should only go off of when he tries!!!!!!
Okay at the 1.5 tourneys he has attended, he has beaten Aklo twice, Salt, Moky, and Amsa while losing to jmook and zain. Well, that’s a handfull of data points and I would rather not base someone’s first half of the year off of that so you shouldn't either. So why rank him?
HBOX IS THE GOAT PUT HIM IN TOP 5 AT BEST AND TOP 8 AT MINIMUM
Well uh ya see when you have 2 winning head-to-heads in the top 10 that’s a cause for concern so uh until he finally meets and beats Jmook, Salt, and mang0 in bracket, he will be in limbo because he does not have the wins to push him past 6th at best and 10th at worst.
Why Salt Llod Axe Aklo and S2J as the round out for 15?
Well Aklo and S2J are the best performers at majors and pseudo majors aside from the others,
Axe, Llod, and Salt are in the group of top performers when none of the top 5 are around so it makes sense to me.
Who else do you see sliding into these spots?
Magi, Spark, Soonsay, Polish as far as currently, but that may very well change in the next month, and a lot of players do not have enough data at majors (Zuppy, Trif, Hax$, SFOP, Krudo, pipsqueak, Fiction).
Why are you rating some tournaments above others?
Please refer to my tourneys tab in the top player data sheet where I showcase how some “stacked” majors are only stacked with specific levels of top 100 players, like how despite it’s size combo breaker only had one top 20 player and 11 top 100 players whereas DH san diego had 56 less entrants but had 2 top 10 players and 4 top 20 players and 11 top 100 players.
What do you think is the most decisive factor as far as an indication of a better player?
In this order: Winning a super major (a tourney with an overwhelming number of top talent), winning a major, head-to-heads (tied in with upset potential), regional/pseudo major wins, regional head-to-heads (as a trend not individually). I think attendance is built into the first 4 as a trend as well. Take Cody for instance. It would seem that every regional he attends, he wins. That is something you want out of a top 5 player, as they show dominance against the field while bolstering their head-to-heads, which is why his 2-1 set count with zamu is less concerning than if he was 0-2 or 1-2 etc.
TLDR: some documents, Moky top 5 probably like top 4, the trifecta Jmook Cody Zain mean that East coast is by far the best region, Moky and Amsa carrying Canada with Soonsay not too far behind, do not for the life of me try and rank mang0 as it stands. Please tell me if I missed anything as well as any takes you disagree with.
Tiered rankings
top 3 (ordered) Jmook cody Zain
top 5 (interchangeable slight amsa favored) Amsa Moky
Top 10 (also interchangeable but 6 and 7 kinda above) Plup Leffen Hbox Kodorin Llod/Salt
Top 15 Salt/Llod Axe aklo S2J (mang0)