English is not my first language, so please excuse any mistakes. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years and have been living together for the last year. A few weeks ago, I bought tickets for a concert that my BF wanted to go to. Yesterday, we went and it was great. The only problem was that we were a bit hungry from the beginning of the concert and there wasn't anything to eat. So we said we would go eat elsewhere after the concert ended. After the concert, we headed to a bar near our house that serves nice food. I wasn't that hungry because I was drinking (he was driving), but I had a nice time and didn’t want the night to end, it had been a while since we went on a proper date because we are both students. When we got there, there was a waiting list. My BF didn't want to wait because at this point he was starving, so we headed across the street to another place. They were closing, so my BF headed to Domino's. I told him I didn't want pizza, but he could go ahead and order, and I would just grab something when we got home. He offered to get something else for me that's not pizza, but I didn't want anything. It's worth adding that I was interested in getting something from those previous places because I like the food there. We eat pizza at least once a week because my BF loves pizza, but yesterday I wasn't hungry and just not in the mood for anything from there. When it was our turn to order, my BF ordered a large pizza and a meat sandwich (he is vegetarian, so it was obviously for me). I told him I didn't want anything and I wasn't going to eat it, but he didn't care. So I approached the lady who took his order and told her to cancel it. He told her to keep it, and we went on for an awkward minute. I took a chance and paid for the pizza just to make it over, only for him to place another order for a meat sandwich. I was so frustrated and furious because he was so stubborn and wouldn't listen to me, so I got out and started crying. When he came, he didn't understand why I was like this. I told him to stop thinking that he knows what's good for me better than I know. He said I was making a scene in front of people, that it was childish, and a new side of me that he hadn't seen. I didn't back down, and he said that I was walking on thin ice so I told him to break up with me…It wasn't pretty. We got the pizza and headed home. On the way home, I saw the events without a fight in my eyes, so I calmed down and was ready to talk about it. I don't remember what we talked/fought about when we got home, but it ended with him coming to hug me while I was crying. Today, I had to get up early to visit my parents (it was a planned visit), and we talked on the phone to clear the air. My BF thinks he did nothing wrong. He said that I overreacted and he wanted to do a nice thing for me. He didn't want me to have nothing to eat while we sat together and he ate. He also said that 80% of the time when I say I don't want to eat, I end up having a slice. I told him that it's true, but this was obviously not the same case because I was so clear that I didn't want it, and he could tell that. This is not the first time he has done something like this (I'm not going to get into the previous time, but it has to do with him meddling in my school work. He knows it was wrong on his part, and he took responsibility for it). I told him he was being controlling and toxic. He said that I'm influenced by my parents' relationship and that he is not like this. All he wanted was to give me something to eat, and sometimes in a relationship, people make decisions on their own, and he believed my reaction was way out of proportion. I agreed that it wasn't a big deal on its own, but it built up with all the other things. I wanted to know why he insisted on ordering that sandwich when he had a chance to drop it. I said it looked like he wanted to show me who is the boss, and after I pushed him for an answer, he said that he didn't want to give in in front of people and that it wasn't my place to meddle with his order in the first place because he was the one having the conversation and he was planning on buying it, so I have no say in it. We got to the part where each thinks he is right. He kept telling me to tell the story to an outsider so I can get some perspective. So, what do you think? Who is in the wrong here?

Me and my girlfriend have been in a really good relationship for the past six months or so. This is someone I have known practically my entire life. There has always been something between us but we only recently started exploring it.
I kind of lost my old habits with women in the relationship and just went with the flow. Normally with women, I will keep busy, rarely give her any time, less compliments, less attention, etc... This is something I have found to work well for me practically every time before her.
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Anyways, I decided to tell my father about our relationship and maybe how this is the woman I would like to marry. (He knows her well). He gave me a lot of good advice but also told me to do the things I said I had left behind, to give her less attention, less compliments, basically to never let her feel like I truly like her.
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I have put the advice to use and it has since been ruining things. What used to be a fun relationship has just become a bit dull. She sends less and less pictures now. She told me before that she felt good in her body because I make sure she knows it. I am thinking the less compliments has something to do with that. There are other things that are not going well as a result of the change I have made.
People that have used 'game' tactics in dating would understand the advice and the practicality here. My question is 'why is it having the opposite effect with her?'
Where exactly do we go from here?

LF kausap lang. Currently working at home and medyo bored, help me stay awake all night. We can talk about anything, may sense or wala, pwede yan. Send me a dm, mabilis ako magreply pag kaya.🙂

So I have lost some weight since starting but it is 100% water weight however, the main thing (besides the pain decrease as I shared earlier) is a reduction in food noise and satiety.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I still think about food and feel hungry but I fully expect these to go down as I increase my dosage to therapeutic levels.
A small victory was that yesterday I had a NORMAL serving size of my dinner and although mentally I wanted to eat more, I was strong enough to stop since I was satiated. That would have NEVER been possible before.
I am sharing little tidbits of progress since before I started I was so skeptic if it would work for me and wanted examples of people similar to me.
I just feel I have the willpower now to eat healthier and move my body that I didn’t before! It’s such an amazing feeling, of being in control vs letting food control me.

Had a weird upbringing where I was raised by a bunch of different people. The last family that took care of me had an elaborate system of lying to each other and punishing me severely if I accidentally 'exposed' their lie (e.g. wife would lie to her father, her father would ask me a question and I'd tell the truth not knowing she lied, fuckery would ensue) or told a lie they didn't approve of (aka. if I lied for myself and not for them). They lied to me too about things that affected the course of my life.
But I'm 27 years old now. I'm an adult and need to be responsible. Also, I'm living in a different country. The second I came here I felt free, like I could build my own life and my own story. But you can't erase the past unless you lie about it. My heritage has been a source of discrimination and something I feel alienated from so I chose a different country and told people I'm from there instead. If they are in a position to see my documents, I come up with an explanatory backstory, which I've used so much it literally feels like the truth. I lie about my family. I lie about my financial situation. I lie about quitting smoking. I lie about my medical conditions and eating disorder. I lie when I change my personality to match the person I'm talking to. I hate myself for it but I can't stop because the truth makes me hate my life. I've been to three therapists, none of whom have helped beyond giving adages like "you just have to love/accept yourself", even though I told them all the complete truth, with the exception of one lie - that I am not and have never contemplated suicide (which would allow them to break confidentiality).
And recently, I lie about drinking. I hide alcohol in water bottles and coke bottles (mix rum in there and nobody can tell). I drink so much and I can't stop. I'm a 5'4" woman and I finish at least half a bottle a day or more, and have no patience for anything under 40% ABV. Lately I've scaled up to Spirityus, a brand of Polish vodka that is 70%+. Last night, I was unable to submit something because I had collapsed in the shower and to excuse myself I literally lied about a death in the family. I looked at a 12-step program and the religious shit was a huge turnoff, and logically nonsensical ("I'm not in control / I submit" etc. is supposed to help me)? I gained 20 pounds in two months so now I'm eating less and working out so I can drink more. My liver might fail me someday because I'm also on antidepressants.
I lied to my partner about having fertility problems (partial truth - I have PCOS) because when I told him I didn't want them he considered leaving me. When I'm drunk I'm affectionate and want to get pregnant and be a mother, and as soon as I sober up I want the reverse. I have no idea what's true and what's a lie, even about my own thoughts and feelings. When I was drunk I told him we can get married and try to have kids and now I can't back out. And don't want to.
This is the only time and the only way I have ever admitted the uncensored truth to anyone but myself. Please do speak your mind but be gentle.

I am so happy to have found this reddit full of people with similar experiences to mine! Would like to share about my loss. I had a best friend (f28years old) for over 16 years, and we spent many years living & also working together. While she always had issues with her mental health and depression, everything rapidly declined two years ago. During a major depressive episode she got a prescribtion for antidepressants and adderall, which spiked her first fullblown manic episode. In hindsight I remember a few periods of hypomania in 16yrs, but they were never as bad as the manic episode. She suddenly started seeing strangers for sex every night, not sleeping anymore and often she would come home and I wouldn‘t even understand what she was talking about because her speech was so disorganized. It took a whole year until she finally got diagnosed with BP2. During this year I would take a lot of shit from her and still stay and try to be supportive, because I was sure that something was seriously off with her mental health. After the diagnosis I felt so much relief, because I believed that she would now be able to get the care she needs. You can‘t imagine how heartbroken I was when I finally realized 8 months after the official diagnosis, that she wouldn‘t seek help and was still (now consciously) abusing adderall+antidepressants and alcohol. I always thought that we would be able to work through the trauma that her illness has caused her and also our friendship, but she didn‘t want to seek counseling and also didn‘t want to take her mood stabilizers, so I eventually felt that she „would never come back“. I set clear boundaries 4 months ago and told her that I can only remain friends with her if she starts therapy and proper medication (because her behaviour is just becoming more and more irratic and hurtful). She flatout told me that she doesn‘t intend to do so, because „she likes her new self“. I am still in shock that she would be able to throw away a 16 year friendship, my heartbreak over this is just massive.
I feel very lonely in this experience, because people just don‘t „get it“. I can‘t talk to mutual friends about it, because I don‘t want to reveal her diagnosis, since she doesn‘t share it openly. But without the diagnosis the whole conflict lacks any sense. I feel that I lost so much, my best friend, our shared home (had to move out obviously), many mutual friends because I avoid her and subsequently them. We live in a small town in Europe and I suspect that she talks a lot of s*** about me while (hypo)manic. I don‘t want to be as hurtful and childish as her, but that often leaves me feeling isolated.
Would love to hear from similar experiences, how you learnt to cope & what helped you along the way. also I still feel like I don‘t really understand what the hell just happened, I know it but I don‘t understand it in my heart, if that makes sense. Thanks for reading

A little background. I’ve been seeing this guy for about 2-3 months. We have several mutual friends and I’ve seen him and his former girlfriend around over the years, but have never spoken to either of them more than just pleasantries.
Back in February, I went to one of our mutual friends engagement parties. We ended up hanging out there, but at the time I thought he was still with his girlfriend so I didn’t think anything of our interaction. A couple of weeks later I heard through my BIL (who is one of his best friends) that he had broken up with his girlfriend and that their house was on the market (this was in the works well before the party). A couple weeks after that, this guy came to my sister’s birthday party and it all went from there. It started off friendly, but we started spending more time together, eventually went on a date, and have spent a significant amount of time together after that.
At first, he didn’t really want a lot of people to know. He said he didn’t want people to think badly of him because he moved on so fast from a serious long term relationship (which he said he was checked out of for some time, but they still tried) and because he didn’t want to hurt his ex’s feelings. He also wanted to spend time getting to know each other without other people forming this opinions. Which I was totally fine with and agreed with. The mutual friends we have are not my close friends, so it’s people I see at gatherings and not a part of my daily life so it wasn’t like I was hiding anything.
So to me, that me that meant it didn’t need to be all over social media or being all over each other while out with friends. Which is not anything I’d do anyway. He’s slowly started branching out and now it’s to the point where everyone knows and it’s been fine though I have heard some little comments calling it “shady”
Well last night he was supposed to come to my house and then me and him and my sister were going to grab dinner. Then he texted me and told me to go ahead without him and he’d fill me in later. I texted back and asked about what and it took him 15-20 minutes to text back and say “ex girlfriend’s name called and asked about us.” His ex girlfriend called him and wanted to know if he was seeing me, he told her he was. And from what I gather, she seems to have thought there was a chance they’d eventually get back together and he told her they wouldn’t. None of that bothers me.
I just don’t like that I felt like I’m some sort of secret. Like it was a big deal that she called. And I told him that hurt my feelings and he’s been very apologetic. What I told him is I don’t mind not being super obvious to spare her feelings, she’s a sweet girl and nothing “bad” happened between them. They had just been together since high school, had grown apart, she didn’t want kids, etc. So I don’t mind sparing her feelings as best as possible, but I felt like her feelings were above mine in this situation and that he was honestly bothered people knew.
Someone give me advice. Is this a giant red flag? He told me last night he did not intend to meet someone so soon after ending a very long term relationship, but everything has been so great between us (and it really has) and it has all happened so naturally that he just feel like it’s right. And that he doesn’t care what other people’s opinions are and nothing that anyone says or does will change how he feels about me. But I’m still a little bothered today. I didn’t say much last night, I just knew my feelings were hurt but wanted time to think about it. Which is what I told him.
TL;DR I’ve been seeing a guy that is a mutual friend. It’s been on the down low to spare his ex girlfriends feelings and she found out and called him about it, in turn hurting my feelings.
Edit to add: I do have a toddler and her father is very high conflict. So he also didn’t want her father to know because he knew that he would start making court threats, because that’s what he does. So I guess he thought I would care that it could get back to her dad, but I’ve told him before that I can’t let my ex dictate my life forever and I am allowed to move on and he can react however he chooses to.

So I just wanted to share a minor win that I had last night that is so small but absolutely profound to me.
Me (5'11" size 20), my partner, and a few friends will be driving in a 24 Hours of Lemons race (wheel to wheel road course racing in $500 POS cars) this summer, and it's been super fun to prep our car, plan out our weekend strategy, shop for racing gear, etc. I grew up around Indy cars, and have always wanted to race, but my height ruled that out as a possibility very early on, and cost made it seem totally out of reach as an adult (I'll be 40 in August) until we found the Lemons series. Needless to say, I'm ridiculously excited.
Despite my excitement, prepping for the race has brought on a lot of unexpected anxieties about my size. I've been tackling them one at a time: racing seats are designed to be snug, will I fit? YES. Will the harness that fits my average sized partner and teammates fit? YES. Last night we received our fire resistant racing suits (coveralls with a front zip, think the suits trash collectors and janitors used to wear) and we realized we were missing some gear, so it was decided while we were all together working on the car, we'd try on what we DID have to make sure everything fit and we could exchange what didn't. I've been hesitant to do this kind of stuff in front of friends, because not fitting into a thing that should fit and having other people see me struggle with a zipper or buttons or whatever has been horrendously embarrassing to me in the past. My suit was an XXL (default sizing is for men, because they're the majority of the people wearing them), and while I was able to get it on and up over my shoulders, I realized pretty quickly that there was no way it was going to zip over my lower stomach where I carry most of my weight, and that even if I could, that would make the crotch so tight I likely wouldn't have been able to sit in the racing seat long enough to drive my shift (if at all). While the four of us were all trying them on, I was aware that everyone else's suits zipped up just fine, and they noticed me struggling to gather the front of the suit to try to zip it. Once I realized it wasn't happening, I just took it off and told the teammate that had arranged our gear rental I needed a bigger suit, and we all just carried on.
Just a few weeks ago, this would have been potentially devastating (I avoided fit-testing the seat u til it was just my partner and I, in case I could fit, or got stuck getting out), but it was very matter of fact: my body is the size that my body is. These suits are not designed with bodies like mine--or even bodies with curves in general--in mind. The suit that had failed me wasn't the largest size available by quite a ways. Other suits are available.
It was very much not a big deal to me, and it wasn't a big deal to anyone else and it was just... a lightbulb moment? Like how much time have I wasted being upset about a thing that wasn't designed with my body in mind not fitting my body?! It's 12+ hours later, and it's still kind of blowing my mind that this sudden "idk, it doesn't fit, can you get me a bigger one? 🤷‍♀️" moment was such a non-event.
Just sharing to say: take your fat body and do the thing. Get out of your own way and allow yourself to have fun experiences if the resources are available!

First: https://redd.it/11e34ce
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Chapter 32
As Mae had previewed, the weeks that passed since the incident in the Logistics Bay were fraught with speculation and feeding the rumor mill. Quin felt he couldn’t walk ten paces on Nemo before meeting some askance gaze of a crewmember or hearing the murmurings of a conversation that abruptly stopped when he would round a corner. Mae was right though that, after a while, the incident became old news and the ruckus died down a bit. Certainly, there was always an inappropriate joke to be had during dinner or dark looks from certain members of the crew, but as the time passed, people turned once again to daily happenings onboard, when the next stopover would take place, and the perennial favorite: who happened to be sleeping with whom.
This last item tended to occupy people to no end, and Quin felt a bit unfortunate that this news also pertained him. Mae and Liza’s breakup and the apparent spat that he and Pepper had ran through the corridors just as fast as the news about Nova. Quin was honestly unsure which conversation he dreaded being brought up more. It seemed that individuals he had never or barely even met knew more about his world than he himself was aware. It was during one of these conversations with two people from the Engineering section that Quin accidently lost it and stormed off, an act he regretted immediately for furthering the gossip chain.
“So is it true that you had to hold Mae back so she wouldn’t punch Liza?” the guy had asked.
”What? NO. What the hell?” Quin responded, flabbergasted.
“Well, I heard from someone in the officer’s corridor that there was yelling and someone got hit. Do you know who got punched?” The other person was practically on their toes with anticipation.
“NO ONE GOT PUNCHED!” Quin shouted, ready to leave the conversation as soon as possible.
“Jeez, why are you yelling?” as the first person, blind to Quin’s growing frustration.
“Don’t you know, Liza’s friend broke up with him the next day because of the fight?” The second person remarked to the first, now completely cutting Quin out of the conversation.
“WE WEREN’T EVEN DATING! WHAT THE HELL?!” Quin screamed, turned on his heels and stormed off to nowhere in particular.
Thankfully, this was probably the worst interaction he had had as a result of those unfortunate few days, aside from the actual conversations themselves that he experienced with Pepper and Nova themselves. He would have appreciated any interaction with either of them at all, if he was honest. The silent treatment from the both of them was practically unbearable. Mae’s words of encouragement, “Time, give it time,” only helped so much when he would pass by Pepper in the corridors or when he had to work directly with Nova during his long shifts in the lab. Nova had limited their conversations to something like a comment box, dropping in parcels of a conversation to the syslog, to be taken up at her leisure and delivered at inconvenient times in the middle of the night. But at the very least, Nova was responding, albeit specifically for work and solely related to their responsibilities together. Pepper, on the other hand, was completely mute. Painfully so, Quin noted as she passed by him going into the cafeteria and didn’t even afford him a glance.
The level of complete non-interaction with Pepper and the invasion into his life by everyone else was beginning to wear on him, and he felt more cut off from the rest of the crew than ever before. He had stopped visiting Bostwick’s chamber for fear of the look of pity that the Commander often wore when passing by him. At least Mae had somewhat of a ‘tough love’ approach to cheering him up. Bostwick’s uncompromising warmth and sympathetic looks made Quin feel guilty rather than comforted, and shameful rather than encouraged. In fact, in the two and a half weeks that passed since Nemo had left the Rhea stopover and Quin passed the night under the watch of the Commander, Quin had only exchanged glances with Bostwick.
Then there was the insomnia. At first, Quin felt nothing but lethargy as he felt the different components of his life crumble around him. The inability to communicate with Tess, the intolerable pity of Mae and Bostwick, the unbearable silence from Pepper and Nova, the frustration expressed by the command staff, and the whispers and side-eyes from the rest of the crew all contributed to the complete physical and mental shutdown he experienced after leaving Rhea. He would steal away to his chamber during break periods to nap, and he would skip meals in order to stay in his room, profiting from the odd bits of food Mae snuck out of the cafeteria. However, after several days of feeling an inability to motivate himself to be out of bed, he started to find that he would lie awake, staring at the ceiling, or glancing at the clock and fretting that it was already 4:00 in the morning.
It was on one of these early mornings that Quin saw the numbers 3:22 at the top of his tablet, and he felt as if it would be impossible for him to find any sleep that night. He had laid down in bed at 22:05 with every intention of forcing a good night’s sleep, but with five hours passing by and no respite coming, he sat up on the edge of his bed and rubbed his eyes a bit. He figured that the coffee station in the kitchen would probably have some hot water with which to make tea, and that could possibly help him. He threw his jumpsuit and boots on and strolled out of the room.
The ship was deserted and peaceful, the type of quiet that Quin relished. It was almost trance-inducing, the soft hum of the ship that Quin felt coming through the very walls themselves. He felt the sound reverberate through him and it was soothing. He set off toward the kitchen. The sleet grey walls of Nemo’s interior usually made for a serious backdrop, but at this hour, it had the effect of dimming the corridors and adding to the sleepy atmosphere of the ship. He stuffed his hands deep in his pockets and followed the sleek lines of the hallways with his eyes as he passed. He came upon the cafeteria doors and walked by them to skirt the main room. He was heading for the back area, the sparkling room with gleaming metal and white tile and a peaceful getaway. Upon swiping his arm against the pad, though, he found that the space was already occupied. A voice greeted him before he had an opportunity to look up.
“Hey Quin, can’t sleep? Is it another bad dream?” Bostwick was sitting on a stool with a steaming cup of coffee in his hand and his illuminated tablet resting on one of the food prep work tables. The man had a weary look around his eyes but Quin could still discern the warmth that emanated from the wrinkles near his temples and the large smile he wore. Quin froze, unsure whether to step into the room and submit himself to another round of pity or try to find some excuse for leaving and head back to his room. In his uncertainty, he ended up standing in the doorway, causing the automatic doors to try to swish shut but freezing and retracting, over and over again.
“Well? Are you just going to stand there, mouth agape, or are you going to come get something to drink like you had planned?” Bostwick said with an eyebrow raised, his mouth now reflecting a knowing smirk. Slowly, Quin trudged into the room, his hands clenched in his pockets as he tried to suppress the nerves that were boiling in his stomach. He gingerly walked over to the coffee station and put a tea bag in a cup and pressed the release valve to allow boiling water to fall over it. Then he set the cup down to steep. He kept his eyes fixed on the surface of the brewing tea, though he felt the hair on the nape of his neck stand as he guarded himself for Bostwick’s eventual conversation starter. But after a minute, it didn’t come. Quin stood there watching the deep brown tea diffuse throughout the water but did not hear a word come from Bostwick. Hesitantly, Quin looked around and saw Bostwick tapping on his tablet, seemingly composing a message.
Quin shuffled his feet a bit before clearing his throat lightly. Without even looking up, Bostwick said, “I’m able to read signs, Quin. If you don’t want to talk to me, I’m more than happy to oblige your intention to be left alone.”
Quin’s eyes shot up to look at Bostwick, who kept on typing as if he hadn’t spoken. Quin was left a bit taken aback. Oh hell, he thought, is it that obvious or can he read my mind? He shuffled again and then picked up his tea cup. Quick, say something, you idiot, his mind was screaming at him as he struggled to put together his words.
“Look, uh, Commander, I—“ Quin started, but was immediately cut off.
“Louis, but please continue,” Bostwick said, looking up at him and smiling.
Whatever momentum Quin had built up in trying to speak, he lost it with Bostwick’s interruption. He started to second-guess even his need to speak if Bostwick was going to be able to anticipate the conversation. His mentor apparently picked up on his nervousness, because he relieved Quin’s tension by taking up what was going through Quin’s head.
“Quin, listen, I understand that you feel like you want to be left alone,” Bostwick said, his tone soft and unassailing. “And I’m sensing that you feel a bit embarrassed about being vulnerable in front of me. That’s a totally normal human feeling. I hope you aren’t feeling, though, that I overstepped any boundaries by not waking you up immediately when you fell asleep in my room?”
“No, uh, Louis, it’s not that,” Quin said abashedly.
“Good, I’m glad. So if you are feeling ashamed about the way I show that I care about you, please just tell me, and we can talk about how I can change that.”
Again, Quin was at a loss for words. It’s not that I don’t want him to care about me, he thought, it’s that I want him to be mad. Why wasn’t he angry at all? That I could deal with. But he’s so kind that I feel like I want to scream. Quin lifted his eyes and finally met Bostwick’s own piercing gaze. Bostwick seemed to interpret the silence and took up the conversation again.
“Unless…perhaps you are feeling ashamed about your own reaction?” Bostwick posited. “Quin, it’s almost the twenty-third century, well actually, for everyone not aboard this ship, it already is. We are long past the cultural stereotype of men not being able to cry. I’d say that your expression of deep emotion is quite masculine, and I for one would—“
Quin interrupted him, “No, Louis, it’s not that either.”
Bostwick fell silent for a moment, then continued gently, “Okay, again, if you wouldn’t like to discuss it right now, you can simply have your tea and we can sip our respective beverages in silence. Though I will note that a 3am excursion raises all sorts of eyebrows that a lesser XO would rush to conclusions. Thankfully for you, I’m not a lesser XO.” He ended with a smirk, returning to his tablet with a very self-satisfied look on his face.
Quin let the silence fill the room again as he turned his cup in his hands, the warmth slowly radiating through his cold fingertips and seemingly giving him a bit of courage. After a moment, he slowly walked over to the work table and set his cup down. Again, without looking up, Bostwick pulled a stool out from underneath the table and pushed it toward Quin. Quin couldn’t help but smile a bit at Bostwick’s level of tact in assuming. He took the proffered stool and plopped himself down, elbows on the work table and eyes fixed on the tea cup. Hesitantly, he glanced at Bostwick, who was humming a tune and slowly shaking his head back and forth in rhythm as he completed his message and hit the send button.
Quin cleared his throat and made his attempt, “Commander, uh sorry, Louis, it’s not that I don’t appreciate everything. I really do. I just…I was just wishing you would be less…I don’t know…understanding? A little more mad?”
“I have no intention of being mad at you Quin. That would be counterproductive and a waste of energy. Wouldn’t you say?”
“Well, I um, what do you mean?” Quin shook his head as his eyes fell.
“I’d imagine that your self-imposed reclusion and the restrictions imposed by Captain Fuentes would be a sufficient punishment, and you are probably looking for a friendly face, especially after things with Ensign Jefferson, erm, Pepper, have recently soured. That would leave you with Mae to seek some company and I daresay that Lieutenant Rohlwing has her own mission responsibilities and personal tumult to deal with, no?”
Quin was staring with his mouth open at Bostwick, who yet again was wearing a rather pleased smirk on his face. How in the hell did he know all of that? Quin thought, unable to keep an astounded look off his face.
Bostwick chuckled, then seemingly replied to Quin’s thought, “You people think the command staff are a bunch of old farts out of touch with the inner workings of the social network among you youths, but I too hear things. I have my spies on board.”
Quin laughed, causing Bostwick to perk up a bit, “Oh alright,” he rejoiced, arms up in the air. “Ten points to Bostwick for making the moody one laugh.”
Quin laughed more heartily and took a sip of his tea. When he looked back up he saw Bostwick was staring at him with an encouraging look on his face, as if to say May I keep asking questions? Quin sipped his tea again and nodded softly, almost to himself as he continued to chuckle.
“So, I take it you and Ms. Jefferson have not spoken much since we set off from Rhea?” Bostwick asked, eyebrow raised.
“No, that would require her wanting to speak to me,” Quin said dryly.
“How do you know she doesn’t want to speak to you?” Bostwick asked.
“Well, she seems to avoid or ignore me, so I’m trying to take the hint,” Quin said, trying to be nonchalant in his tone.
“Do you still like her?” Bostwick continued.
“Yeah, a lot. I thought we were doing well, really well on Rhea, but I said some stupid things in defending Mae to her, and I know I need to apologize, but she basically called me a coward, she said I needed to ‘grow a spine.’” Quin quickly gave Bostwick the back and forth of what constituted Pepper and his last conversation.
“I don’t think you are a coward. You do have a tendency to take your relationships with everyone very seriously, which is for the most part endearing, but I can see how she would find that stubbornness a bit frustrating when she is trying to argue with it.”
“So now you are on her side?” Quin said sharply.
“I wouldn’t dare try to take her side, but you don’t need to bite my head off for trying to give you some advice. I can see it’s not welcome though,” Bostwick said flatly, falling silent.
“No…wait, I’m sorry,” Quin said, changing his tone immediately. “Please, Louis, help me. What should I do?”
“An honest apology to start, you would be surprised how far being honest and sincere gets you. People seem to forget that. Then I would try to start seeing Ms. Jefferson outside of your interactions with Mae and Liza. Give yourselves something to talk about other than your common friends. That way you don’t revert into difficult territory immediately.”
“Like what?” Quin asked. “Watch a movie with her or something?”
“That being your strong, go-to approach, sure you could start there,” Bostwick said. “As an extra hint, I hear that the kitchen has some late-night snacks stashed away back here, and if you know someone, you can get good movie food. You could even, you know, call it a date or something. Don’t be afraid to ask her to do something at the next stopover too. Again, call it a date. If she sees you taking her seriously like you do everything else, she’ll probably appreciate you being intentional about it. That’s my guess. Anyway, Cronus is supposed to be a little bit more of an open schedule, so you can be more creative.”
Bostwick was making all sorts of sense. His was the type of advice that Quin had been looking for all along. Quin found himself shaking his head, as he processed everything. Bostwick seemed to misinterpret it.
“What? You’re thinking a different approach?” he said, a bit surprised.
“NO! No, sorry, it’s just…I’ve been such an idiot. That’s really good advice, I’ve just been stupid not talking to you. I don’t know why,” Quin finished, again shaking his head.
“Because you are young, and you guys don’t like getting romantic advice from someone your parents’ age,” Bostwick said, smiling.
“You aren’t that old,” Quin said, “I know we joke about it, but you can’t be more than…”
Bostwick laughed. “Be careful how you finish that sentence, Mr. Hammond.”
“Well, anyway, you aren’t that old. You just…I don’t know, you have this way about you, it made me want to avoid you. I felt ashamed that you were being all sympathetic, and it made me blind to the fact that I really needed to talk to you. What I mean is, you are a good listener, and I forgot that when I was unable to think straight. I felt all of these things happening around me, and you were there when that stuff happened with Nova. I know you were just trying to be nice. I’m sorry I was such an ass.”
“Well, if you were looking for honest and sincere apologies, Quin, you just found yourself one,” Bostwick said, putting his hand on Quin’s shoulder. “Change it up a little to be specific for her, and I’m sure you will have a good result. Don’t forgot to take care of yourself when you are trying to fix everything else, you know? It’s not possible to be perfect, so don’t make yourself sick in trying to be.”
“Yeah, right,” Quin said softly. “I wish I could fix everything, just like that.” He snapped his fingers.
“That would be nice, but unfortunately, we aren’t computers, and life isn’t all math problems. Sometimes life just needs time and a bit of decent humanity.” The two of them were silent for a little while as Quin stewed in his thoughts. Despite the hour, he was wide awake and appreciative of his little night excursion. After the pause had continued much longer than Quin expected, he looked up and saw Bostwick studying him. The man opened his mouth and then hesitated, before beginning tenderly, “Speaking of, how are things going with Nova?”
Quin sighed a bit, collecting his thoughts. Then he decided it was for the best and recounted to Bostwick the last conversation that Nova and he had face to face. The two of them had really not spoken since that evening some weeks ago. As Quin was narrating the story to Bostwick, the Commander was slightly chuckling and shaking his head. Astounded, Quin finished his story and confronted Bostwick.
“What’s so funny?” he demanded. “You’ve been laughing the entire time.”
“She’s quite brilliant, you know,” Bostwick said, scratching his forehead, eyes wide. “She presents these neat little ethical quandaries as if they were nothing and yet, scientists and philosophers have been asking the same types of questions about artificial intelligence for maybe two hundred years. It’s only now that we have got a being that is the walking and talking example of that.”
“Yeah, well, she’s another one that’s not talking to me,” Quin said.
“Well, Quin, I’m afraid I must give you the same advice. You should apologize. In her view, and I think objectively, you were somewhat of, if I may borrow your words, ‘an ass.’”
“This time I think you are definitely taking her side,” Quin said, sourly.
“Indeed. You created her. She takes her direction from you. You are kind of like her father, her brother, her friend, and her crewmate all rolled into one. The obligations of any one of those roles would be enough to say you needed to be there for her, and unfortunately you found yourself too busy being in your own head. Perhaps this is the root of your problem with both Ms. Jefferson and Nova. You are so busy letting everything weigh on you, being worried all the time, that you are unable to focus externally and be present for other people.” Quin’s eyes were downcast, his shoulders slumped. Well, if this is his form of a closing pick-me-up, I don’t think it’s working, Quin thought, sighing deeply.
“Fortunately,” Bostwick continued suddenly, “I think the solution is relatively simple and similar. You need to apologize to Nova, sincerely this time, and you need to spend some time with her, outside of work, so that you can normalize being around her. If your point was that you sometimes forget that she is only part human, then you need to do more human things with her in order to sensitize yourself to how she acts. She shouldn’t have to change for you, it should be the other way around. She can’t just be a mantelpiece in your career, Quin. She thinks.”
Quin sighed aloud, saying, “Yet again, another piece of sound advice from the ever-so-sage Commander Bostwick. And yet again, the solution is that I was wrong.”
Bostwick laughed. “Well, welcome to being an adult, my friend. Everything is complicated and you are usually wrong.” He patted Quin on the back. “Sarcasm aside, it’s okay to be wrong, just own up to it.”
Quin nodded slightly, acknowledging Bostwick’s counsel. The room was silent for a bit longer. The Commander downed his cup of coffee and looked into it, as if inspecting the bottom.
“You know what,” he said, looking up. “I think I’m going to have some tea too, but I’ve been keen to try some of the apple honey they brought me, you want some?” Quin nodded slowly, lost in his thought. Honey, he said to himself, honey, something about…honey.
“Can you believe they make all of this on Rhea?” Bostwick said over his shoulder. “I honestly can’t understand how their entire ecosystem, let alone their economy, operates off apples. It’s nuts.” Bostwick chuckled to himself. “Sorry for the pun.” Apples and honey, Quin’s brain was churning, but at this hour it was too fuzzy. …and honey.
He set two new cups down in front of them, still steaming and with the tea infusers bobbing around on the surface. He pulled a jar down from one of the kitchen cabinets and ladled a small bit of honey into each cup. After stirring a bit, Bostwick took a sip and smacked his lips, grinning satisfactorily at Quin.
“Oh my, that’s so good,” Bostwick said, relishing the taste as he took another draw. “You should drink it while it’s hot.”
Quin brought the cup to his lips mechanically, though he could have sworn that he was missing something. He felt himself distracted by Louis enjoying his cup of tea, the early hour, and the lack of a good night’s sleep for several days. I could have sworn that I just remembered something, he thought, growing frustrated at the lack of ability of his brain to recall what it was that was escaping him. Resigning himself, he took a long swig, his eyes closing automatically when the taste of the sweet and sour apple-tinged honey hit his lips. Instantly, he was transported back onto Rhea, where he savored several fleeting moments of being away and being happy. Unfortunately, his happiness was suddenly ripped away from the call from Nemo. What I wouldn’t give to be back there to have some more time with Pepper and Mae, he thought while recollecting the honey tasting in the orchard. He remembered the smile on Pepper’s face, how infectious it was, and Mae’s giggling at him.
“Hmm,” Bostwick said into the silence, “it’s just about time that the command deck wakes up. Some of the buzzing should start soon.”
“Buzzing?” Quin asked distantly, almost half-consciously.
“Sorry, yeah, buzzing. Message traffic. Unfortunately, a lot of the lingo revolves around bees.”
“Bees?” Quin asked, his brain slowly coming to.
“Yeah, bees,” Bostwick said, studying Quin curiously. “You know, Captain Fuentes being the Queen, the Deck being the hive, that sort of thing.”
“Bees!” Quin exclaimed.
“What?” Bostwick demanded, flabbergasted.
“Louis! BEES!” Quin shouted, shooting off his stool and slamming his cup down.
“Quin, I don’t-“ Bostwick began, but Quin wasn’t listening. The young man half-sprinted out of the room.
“BEES!” Quin shouted again, his face mixed with a smile and intense concentration.
“Okay, Mr. Cage,” Bostwick said, chuckling and shaking his head, his eyes and mouth reflecting a knowing smile as he watched Quin run out of the room.

Defending your dissertation is a critical milestone in your academic journey. It is an opportunity to showcase your research, knowledge, and expertise to a committee of experts. This article will provide you with valuable insights and practical tips to help you prepare for and navigate the dissertation defense process with confidence and success.
Understanding the Defense
The defense is a formal presentation and examination of your dissertation before a committee. It typically involves a detailed oral presentation followed by a question-and-answer session. The purpose of the defense is to assess the rigor, significance, and contribution of your research, as well as your ability to articulate and defend your findings.
Preparing for the Defense
Preparing for the defense is crucial to ensure a smooth and successful experience. Start by familiarizing yourself with your university's guidelines and requirements for the defense process. Understand the specific expectations of your committee and the format of the defense presentation. Allow ample time for preparation, including practicing your presentation and anticipating potential questions.
Creating an Outline
Creating a well-structured outline for your defense presentation is essential. It helps you organize your thoughts, ensure logical flow, and effectively communicate your research. Begin with an introduction that captures the audience's attention and provides an overview of your study. Follow this with sections on your research objectives, methodology, key findings, and conclusions. Use clear headings and subheadings to guide your audience through the content.
Rehearsing the Presentation
Rehearsing your defense presentation is vital for building confidence and fluency. Practice delivering your presentation multiple times, paying attention to your speaking pace, body language, and use of visual aids. Time yourself to ensure that you stay within the allocated presentation time. Consider recording yourself or seeking feedback from peers or advisors to further refine your delivery.
Managing Nervousness
Feeling nervous before your defense is natural. To manage nervousness, engage in relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and visualization. Focus on the importance of your research and the expertise you have gained throughout your doctoral journey. Remember that the committee is there to evaluate your work, not to intimidate you. Embrace the opportunity to share your knowledge and passion for your research.
Responding to Questions
The question-and-answer session during the defense requires thoughtful and composed responses. Listen carefully to each question, take a moment to gather your thoughts, and provide concise and articulate answers. If you don't know the answer to a question, it is acceptable to acknowledge that and offer to explore it further in your future research. Use this opportunity to showcase your critical thinking and ability to engage in scholarly discourse.
Articulating Your Findings
During the defense, it is crucial to clearly articulate the significance and implications of your research findings. Highlight the contributions your work makes to the existing body of knowledge and its potential impact on the field. Connect your findings to relevant theories, methodologies, and research gaps. Be prepared to explain how your research addresses the research question and supports or challenges existing theories or practices.
Handling Critiques
The committee may provide critiques or suggestions for improvement during the defense. Approach these critiques with an open mind and a willingness to engage in constructive dialogue. Acknowledge the feedback, ask clarifying questions if needed, and consider how the suggestions can enhance your research. Demonstrate your ability to accept criticism gracefully and show your commitment to continuous improvement.
Showcasing Confidence
Essential during your dissertation defense. Projecting confidence in your knowledge, research, and presentation skills will leave a positive impression on the committee. Maintain good posture, make eye contact, and speak clearly and assertively. Use confident body language to convey your expertise and passion for your research. Remember, you are the expert in your field, and your defense is an opportunity to demonstrate your mastery of the subject matter.
Conclusion
Defending your dissertation is a significant milestone in your academic career. By understanding the defense process, preparing thoroughly, and practicing your presentation, you can approach your defense with confidence and achieve a successful outcome. Embrace the opportunity to share your research, engage in scholarly dialogue, and showcase your expertise. Remember that the defense is not just an evaluation; it is also a celebration of your hard work and dedication.
FAQs
Q1: How long does a dissertation defense typically last? A1: The duration of a dissertation defense varies but generally ranges from one to two hours, including the presentation and question-and-answer session.
Q2: Can I have my advisor or mentor present during the defense? A2: It depends on the specific rules and regulations of your university. Some institutions allow advisors or mentors to attend the defense, while others restrict the committee to external members only.
Q3: What if I receive conflicting feedback or critiques from the committee members? A3: It is not uncommon for committee members to have different opinions or suggestions. Listen attentively to all feedback, seek clarification if needed, and use your judgment to address the feedback in a way that aligns with your research goals and vision.
Q4: Can I bring notes or cue cards during the defense? A4: Check with your university's guidelines regarding the use of notes or cue cards during the defense. Some institutions allow minimal reference materials, while others prefer a more spontaneous and unrehearsed presentation.
Q5: What happens after a successful dissertation defense? A5: After a successful defense, you may be required to make minor revisions or edits to your dissertation based on the committee's feedback. Once those revisions are complete, you can proceed with the final submission and completion of your doctoral degree.

A storyline document has been found at a hotel where EastEnders creative team holds their conferances
It reveals not only the name of the unlucky body on the floor during Christmas 23 but also what happens to the body.
Ive redacted the name of the victim and only shown the front page of the document
But From what we can gather from this
- CHRISTMAS DAY IS AN HOUR LONG SPECIAL AT 7PM AND THEN A POST WATERSHED 9PM HALF HOUR EPISODE
- THE KILLER IS NONE OF THE 6 WOMEN IN THE CAMPAIGN AND IS IN FACT A SECRET 7TH FACE WHO WAS OFF CAMERA DURING THE FLASH FORWARD
- THE BODY IS HIDDEN AND LOCKED INSIDE A FREEZER IN THE VIC KITCHEN UNTIL IT CAN BE DECIDED WHAT IS GOING TO BE DONE ABOUT IT.
- THERE ARE AT LEAST 10 PEOPLE AWARE OF THE MURDER AND THE COVER UP IS EXTENSIVE.
- CINDY AND IAN BEALE RETURNED AT HALLOWEEN
- CINDY WAS PLACED IN WITNESS PROTECTION AFTER A VIOLENT INCIDENT IN THE PRISON
- CINDY'S WITNESS PROTECTION NAME WAS ROSE AND SHE WAS MARRIED TO GEORGE KNIGHT. HER DAUGHTERS ARE ANNA AND GINA (WHO IS NAMED AFTER HER SISTER)
- UPON LEARNING OF HER DAUGHTER LUCY'S MURDER IN THE PRESS CINDY WAS DEVASTATED AND ALSO SCARED THAT HER NEW IDENTITY MIGHT BE REVEALED AND FLED FROM GEORGE AND HER DAUGHTERS ANNA AND GINA
- IAN RETURNS AND BUYS HALF OF THE UNDERTAKERS FROM THE COKERS
- A FIRE AT THE PANESARS ON BONFIRE NIGHT SEES EVE AND VINNY TRAPPED. ONE DOES NOT SURVIVE THE EXPLOSION
- EVE AND SUKI'S RELATIONSHIP GOES PUBLIC...
- LITTLE MO RETURNS FOR 6 WEEKS FROM CHRISTMAS DAY ONWARDS FOR A STORYLINE WITH HER SON FREDDIE
- FREDDIE BEGINS WORKING AT THE ALBERT
- MARTIN AND STACEY REKINDLE THEIR RELATIONSHIP
- A MYSTERIOUS NEW OLDER FEMALE CHARACTER WORKING FOR RITCHIE BEGINS SHOWING AN UNSUAL INTEREST IN THE PICTURE OF PEGGY MITCHELL BEHND THE QUEEN VIC BAR. IT APPEARS THERE IS A CONNECTION. SHE BEGINS TO WORK FOR PHIL.
- ELAINE AND KATHY FORGE A STRONG BOND BUT KATHY BEGINS EXHIBITING EARLY SIGNS OF DEMENTIA. (COULD JUST BE STRESS DUE TO WHAT HAPPENS AT CHRISTMAS)
- DEPSITE PROMISING LOLA THAT HE AND JAY WOULD LOOK AFTER A LEXI, A CUSTODY BATTLE ENSUES WHEN JAY DISCOVERS BEN HAS BULLIMIA. IN ORDER TO FIGHT BEN IN COURT JAY AND BILLY END UP SELLING THEIR HALF THE UNDERTAKERS TO IAN
- CINDY ATTEMPTS TO BUILD BRIDGES WITH GEORGE AND THE GIRLS EVEN GOING SO FAR AS TO AGGRESSIVLEY PERSUE GEORGE ROMANTICALLY. BUT HE IS TOO BUSY HELPING LINDA CONCEAL THE BODY AT THE VIC
- FELIX BEGINS SEEING A MARRIED MAN WHO TURNS VIOLENT
- ALFIE AND JO SHARE A NIGHT OF PASSION
- MITCH IS ACCUSED OF ASSAULTING ONE OF HIS FARES AND EVEN KAREN STRUGGLES TO BELIEVE HE'S INNOCENT
- KEANU AND SHARON STRUGGLE WHEN LISA RETURNS WITH PEGGY TELLING KEANU HE NEEDS TO STEP UP. IT APPEARS THAT LOUISE HAS HAD A MENTAL BREAKDOWN.
THERES TALK OF CHARACTERS RETURNING IN 2024 TO BE DISCUSSED AT NEXT CONFERANCE
THESE INCLUDE - LOUISE MITCHELL AS A RECAST, JANINE CARTER FOR 3 EPISODES IN ANNIVERSARY WEEK, EMMA HARDING FOR A HUGE STORYLINE THAT SEES HER TAKE LEXI
LETITA DEAN IS TAKING 3 MONTHS OFF FROM ANNIVERSARY WEEK SO HER EXIT IS BEING DISCUSSED AT NEXT CONFERENCE
THERES TALK OF STARTING TO PLAN FOR THE 40TH ANNIVERSARY 'BLOCKBUSTER' IN 2025 AND THAT THEY WANT BIG BOLD IDEAS
COULD BE A HUGE STUNT OR COULD BE MAJOR CASTING IT ALL SOUNDS VERY EXCITING
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https://preview.redd.it/01m0zgx8qz4b1.jpg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=306fafa19efb8272667ff9dd7910fdcfcac6790f

So basically I'm being harassed by my friends girlfriend. She swears any woman that speaks to him want him. Come to find out there are other women who are constantly going back & forth arguing with her because she's so damn delusional & has mental health issues. Anyways I've argued with her, got the last word & blocked her ass. But that wasn't the end of that, she stole pictures from my social medias including my modeling page - to make a fake Facebook page of me and put that i was doing escorting service. She added my friends onto that page & was sending them shit. She reached out to my mother and was harassing her from yet a another fake page. (This was a year ago) I was able to report and & so did my friends because they wasn't feeing into her shit. So just last night I seen my name popped up on google search where she made a Linkedin page about escorting services. And its got me disgusted because I work for a union and what if my employer sees it? I'm just so annoyed because this bitch got alot of time of her hands. I called my police department & all they said all I can do is make a harassment complaint but it wouldn't be investigated. At that point I just want to put my hands and feet on her. I know her name, address social media etc.. I even got photos & videos of her I just want vengeance but nothing can be done? Idk what to do.. please guide me.

FRIDAY

• Friday Night on White, White St., Wake Forest
• Two Durhams Beer Festival, Durham Central Park, Durham
• Subtronics, Red Hat Amphitheater, Raleigh
• Summerfest: Never Break the Chain: The Music of Fleetwood Mac, Koka Booth Amphitheatre, Cary
• SPECIAL EVENT: PETE DAVIDSON WORKING OUT NEW MATERIAL WITH FRIENDS, Goodnights Comedy Club, Raleigh
• The Monti: Freak, Carolina Theatre, Durham
• Cary's History of Hooch Tours, Downtown, Cary
• Shane Gillis, DPAC, Durham
• So Far Sounds, Secret Location, Cary
• Advance Auto Parts 160, Wake County Speedway, Raleigh
• Rennie Harris Puremovement American Street Dance Theater, Page Auditorium, Durham
• Elodie Farm Dinner, Elodie Farms, Durham
• Andrew Schulz, Raleigh Improv, Cary
• ONE OCEAN FILM TOUR, The Cary Theater, Cary
• Green Jelly, Lincoln Theatre, Raleigh
• NCAA Division II Baseball Championship, USA Baseball National Training Complex, Cary
• Bluegrass and Brews, Nickelpoint Brewing Co., Raleigh
• Friday Family Flicks - Strange World, Garner Recreation Center, Garner
• Tour: Unsettled Things: Art from an African American South, Ackland Art Museum, Chapel Hill
• Angela Bingham w/Jim Ketch Quintet, Sharp Nine Gallery, Durham
• Retro Film Series - The African Queen & Key Largo, Carolina Theatre, Durham
• Triangle Restaurant Week, Various Locations, Triangle
• Pen Collectors of America: Triangle Pen Show 2023, DoubleTree by Hilton (RDU), Durham
• Carolina Tiger Twilight Tour, Carolina Tiger Rescue, Pittsboro

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SATURDAY

• Town of Cary's Pimento Cheese Festival, Downtown Park, Cary
• Summerfest: All Beethoven, Koka Booth Amphitheatre, Cary
• SPECIAL EVENT: PETE DAVIDSON WORKING OUT NEW MATERIAL WITH FRIENDS, Goodnights Comedy Club, Raleigh
• Nuv Yug India Fest, Jim Graham Building at North Carolina State Fairgrounds, Raleigh
• Geek and Grub Market (Pride Edition), Mordecai Historic Park, Raleigh
• Triangle Restaurant Week, Various Locations, Triangle
• THE BLOCK PARTY “Downtown Raleigh”, The Bridge & The Architect, Raleigh
• 2023 Annual Apex Pride Festival, Town Hall Campus, Apex
• Al Strong: Jazz Is My Religion, North Carolina Museum of History, Raleigh
• NCAA Division II Baseball Championship, USA Baseball National Training Complex, Cary
• Andrew Schulz, Raleigh Improv, Cary
• Brookside Bodega Summer Festival, Brookside Bodega, Raleigh
• Durham Art Parade, The Scrap Exchange, Durham
• 6th Annual Triangle Community Band Festival, Durham Central Park, Durham
• Orchard Park Jazz Picnic, Orchard Park, Durham
• Rock the Park Concert — Rockie Lynn (Americana/Country), Forest Hills Park, Durham
• Bull Durham Screening Series, Durty Bull, Durham
• Best of the Triangle, Lincoln Theatre, Raleigh
• Caifanes, The Ritz, Raleigh
• Metal Show: An Offering to Bragi, Moon Dog Meadery, Durham
• Summer Fun Day (Wake Forest), Fortnight Brewing, Wake Forest
• BODYTRAFFIC, Reynolds Industries Theater, Durham
• Single Barrel Experience, Mystic Farm and Distillery, Durham
• Frankie Alexander Quartet, Sharp Nine Gallery, Durham
• Children’s Matinee: Rennie Harris Puremovement American Street Dance Theater, Page Auditorium, Durham
• Alley Twenty Six’s Islands in the Alley, Alley Twenty Six, Durham
• DIY & Drag Fundraiser, Nailed It DIY Studio, Durham
• Burlesque: The Rainbow Connection – Boom Boom’s Big Gay B-day Review, The Pinhook, Durham
• Pride, Hi-Wire Brewing, Durham
• Drag Trivia, The Avenue, Raleigh
• Shallow Cuts: Mad Mix Beyond Thunderpop!, Rubies on Five Points, Durham
• Taste of Music Festival, Friendship Chapel Rd., Wake Forest
• Lower Eno River Discovery Paddle, Eno River, Durham
• Friends of Geer Cemetery: Restoration Awareness Ceremony, Geer Cemetery, Durham
• American Tobacco Trail - Great Trail Day, American Tobacco Trail, Durham
• Learn to Ride a Bike, Lake Lynn Park and Community Center, Raleigh
• WILD (Movie Showing), The Cary Theater, Cary

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SUNDAY

• Durham Central Park Food Truck Rodeo, Durham Central Park, Durham
• Duke University's Ciompi Quartet, NCMA, Raleigh
• Ricardo Arjona, PNC Arena, Raleigh
• SPECIAL EVENT: PETE DAVIDSON WORKING OUT NEW MATERIAL WITH FRIENDS, Goodnights Comedy Club, Raleigh
• Triangle Restaurant Week, Various Locations, Triangle
• Al Strong Presents Jazz Brunch, Alley Twenty Six, Durham
• Kym Register + Meltdown Rodeo / Tami Hart / Dunums, The Pinhook, Durham
• Show Me Snakes Reptile & Exotics Show, Durham Armory, Durham

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Reading my old posts here makes me cry. My life was so different when I last posted here. I had been symptom free for only 9 months. I had no idea if it would stay gone forever, if it would come back worse… The memory of CU was so fresh, painful and terrifying.
(keep reading this post before clicking these links, over the past three years, I have learned more than what I posted here, but I post these links to give you insight into the journey and what was happening in real time)
One Month Symptom Free Post in May 2020
Six month symptom free update in November 2020
It’s been over three years since I have had a full cu outbreak. I had a couple of less severe outbreaks in 2021, during a stressful period in my life. These outbreaks looked like redness on my chest, face, and arms, but without the pain, itchiness, and pins and needles feeling of CU.
My life has been so different since I last posted here. CU does not control my life anymore, it is not the first thing I think of when I wake up. I’m not in a constant state of anxiety. My life is feeling really “normal” most days in the best way.
I am not a doctor. This is not medical advice. I am just a person with a story that I hope can help someone.
I had severe cu outbreaks everyday, multiple times a day, from October 2019 to March 2020. In early 2020, I took a leap of faith and saw a naturopath who did a series of muscle reflexology and iridology tests. Her tests determined that I was having problems with my liver and kidneys. I had blood work done around December to try to solve the breakouts, and it came back with high bilirubin; but my doctor shrugged it off and told me my cu was a “probably a food allergy”. (You can see more details in my previous post)
So the naturopath put me on a liver cleanse via supplements for 90 days. On day 93, I noticed I hadn’t broken out in a couple of days… and I haven’t had a full blown cu outbreak since.
I still no longer drink alcohol, I still do not take ibuprofen, I generally just try to be cautious of things that are not good for the liver. I do not eat gluten. I try to sleep well, and move my body every day. I can exercise normally. I’m conscious of what kind of ingredients my soaps and lotions have.
Every now and then I still get itchy skin whenever I start to get warm, but I believe it’s psychological, because I never see the rash.
I have stated in previous posts exactly what I was taking, but I hesitate to do that because I highly highly suggest seeing a naturopath in person who can do the testing. They will get you on what is right for you, which may not be the same as what was right for me. My naturopath did tests to decide what I would be taking, for how long, how many times of day, and at what times of day. It was highly customized to my specific situation.
From my time here in this sub, my own research, and my own experience, cu seems to have underlying causes that are not the same for each person.
I hope this inspires you to maybe try a path you haven’t tried yet, and I send all the good vibe and well wishes your way that this solution could work for you too.
Please feel free to ask me any questions. You are not alone.
EDIT: I tried to post photos with this, but they didn't post for some reason. I had photos of my condition in at it's height in 2020, one of the rash from 2021, and a picture of my skin postworkout now. Let me know if that's something you would want to see and I'll make a separate post.

Okay, I've debated making this for months for a few reasons. I'm kinda worried about my partner somehow finding this, and putting the pieces together it's about us and he'll get very upset. Actually really scared.
I guess another reason is just judgement? Or all of this sounds really silly. Sorry, I'll get on with it. To understand better here's some context.
I've been with my partner for about nearly 7 years. We've been married for about 4. Before even meeting him and dating he had been dedicating a lot time to an MMO game. I am a gamer as well so we connected through mutual interests and so on. However, I don't play MMOs. They never appealed to me.
This game is really important to him, series wise, and it was something him and his brother once shared. Early dating and living together he would go all day at the game, I mean all day. I used to work 12 hour shifts so he'd be playing when I'd get home and go right to sleep since my next shift was in 12 hours. And when I'd wake up to start getting ready, roughly 10 hours later, he'd still be playing, and its not that he stopped and just picked it back up. He just, hadn't moved.
It got to the point he said we'd do something and I'd be waiting on him to finish up on the game, and hours later, he's not done with the daily duties. I don't play this MMO, so honestly I don't know if realistically it takes this long. I did give him an ultimatum and tell him he had an addiction after a few months. It was me or the game. And he stopped. Honestly our relationship felt great. I did feel a bit bad though.
Okay, here's where we get to my main question and concerns. 3 years ago we moved overseas due to his work. A few months in, he brought up he missed playing, and missed some of the friends he made through the game.
I felt sympathetic, and honestly a bit guilty too. He also was hesitant to start because he was worried he'd be too behind story wise, raids, etc.
I encouraged he should try, as long as he promised to not let it get out of hand again.
3 years later and being overseas, he's the breadwinner. He pays the bills, he goes to work, provides needs, and he 100% financially supports me. He's often exhausted from work, I get that.
The usual routine is he gets home, and hops on his computer, starts a discord call, and that's the rest of the night. It's practically like this several days a week.
I tried to gently approach this many times. Explaining how with his attention just being focused something else often, I am lonely. I have no one else. I miss him, since him wearing headphones being in a call, we don't even converse that entire time. Also I am genuinely concerned with his well being and health because I truly care. On average he stays up very late playing on work nights and he's definitely tired constantly. He usually says it's because of stress and work. On weekends, I'd argue he plays at least 10 to 12 hours a day. He's taken weeks off in the past from work to dedicate it to these "raids"
When approached about the subject, it usually erupts into a really nasty conversation, ending with me in tears. He gets angry because he feels I'm "trying to control what he does in his free time" he wants "his freedom" he "deserves to relax and unwind in his free time" "he wants to decide when he wants to do something else" "it's one of the few things that helps with his stress" me bringing it up "stresses him out and makes him feel guilty" he's "an adult and can decide to do whatever he wants"
I often just.. don't say anything anymore if I can. I don't want to start anything. I'd rather try to keep the peace than have him get wound up about the subject as he always does
I never brought up quitting, but I have asked if there's any way to play less. Besides what he has said, these "raids" are very important to him. I'm a gamer too, I get the grind, the item drops, etc. His words to my understanding, if he's not at it every night, he will get behind and have no one to raid these certain fights with because of the timezone. Why? It's important to him and because of the rewards, etc.
Today he actually offered to go out to get some food, and I asked if he was sure since I figured he was tired. Half way eating be brought up "I didn't think this would take this long. Now I lost a day to "prog" because no one is going to be on because of the timezone and everyone is moving on to the next fight and I have to work twice as hard" I didn't really finish my food and I suggested we go so we didn't take up anymore time. I felt bad and I did understand to an extent.
Maybe I really am the problem? Is this game that time consuming? Am I not being considerate enough? He is right, he is an adult, he is allowed to make his own decisions. Because I don't play this specific game am I just not understanding all this?
He's talking with his discord friends he plays and talks to all the time right now, but it sounds like he didn't find anyone to raid with tonight because we got home too late.
He has his good moments, I feel I need to mention this, and at the end of the day, he does provide and pay the bills, my bills too, but during these "raids seasons" this is all his time and any disturbing him seems to really just set him off.
I've been feeling incredibly guilty all night. I feel guilty I ruined his weekend. I'm so sorry this post was so long and so much rambling. Hopefully someone who also plays can shed some light to maybe help me understand too. I always have been a overly needy person

Hi guys this isn’t for everyone but for the last few months I’ve been enjoying reading trip reports. It’s been a bit of nighttime reading for me. Yesterday I did my first shrooms. I wrote a report more for myself but thought I’d post it for anyone who wants to read it
First trip Strain: yetis Location: download (UK rock festival) Dosage: exact unknown but roughly 1.5g With: 5 friends. 4 took shrooms before me and one other friend it was our first
14:00 the shrooms were eaten. I’d heard about how horrible they were taste wise but I swigged them with a drink and was surprised how tasteless they were. Popcorn texture, the smell was worse than the taste.
14:20 wondering if they were duds. No feeling of anything but remembering they were bruised blue and from a reputable seller and reminded myself to stop being so impatient
14:30 I started to notice like a slight tingling in my hands and a smile forced into my face. One of my friends (the most experienced user) smiled at me and said I’m definitely feeling something now which made me laugh, consequently him laugh back.
15:00 hard to explain but I start to feel my muscles moving individually and I could fully feel blood, not pumping but rather moving round my body. It had a sort of euphoric feel that my body was just working away to keep me alive. We were sat on one of many wooden benches outside a beer tent and one of my friends mentioned something about the wood of the bench, I looked down and the knots of the wood started going slightly green and the wood was swirling around the knots. At this exact point I knew I was tripping, I remember thinking it was exactly how I pictured some parts from watching YouTube clips of “trip simulations” and thought how accurate they were. I remember touching the wood and again, my explanation is terrible but I could really feel the actual wood against my fingers like it was the first time touching wood. I definitely had a real euphoric feeling as I smoked a cigarette and looked up at the sky.
16:00 the next phase definitely turned up a notch. As my group was chatting and laughing it felt like everything was moving really fast. One of my friends is a naturally quicker speaker and it felt like he was talking so fast I couldn’t keep up. One of friends I was talking to has a few freckles and I noticed they were all swirling too. A band started playing on a distant stage but was easily heard and I don’t know if it was the music, but it really felt like as they started a slow beat, everything slowed down to like 0.5 speed. We had been sat there for a couple of hours chatting etc at this point and there was a generator for the beer tent near us the whole time but all of a sudden my ears like locked onto it and it was almost squealing at me.
1630ish I noticed my thoughts were a bit more meaningful. For example we have a friend who since kids was the natural leader of our group and everyone gravitates towards him. But I realised that while he was our groups natural leader whenever there was an argument, issues or someone in need I tended to be the go to person and I understood that I actually play an Important role in our friendship group.
16:45 i started to feel a little out of control, my vision was off and I felt really quite hot. But I needed a pee. I walked 100m to the toilets and on my way back I realised the sea of wooden benches with thousands of people all wearing dark clothing. Things were a bit blurry here and my sight a bit all over the place. It the was the only moment I felt a little worried and out of my depth but alas, I found them after a few minutes.
17:00 I think it started to ware off here. All the effects were losing strength but even my experienced friend said they felt very potent for the small dosage we had. I suggested we go and get some food which I pulled us out of the trip even more.
As someone who’s never done shrooms or any kind of drug tbh I thought it was an ideal first time. I will always remember that experience it was like nothing I’ve ever felt before.
My after thoughts. Hard one to explain but I see why people say you need to let go and enjoy the experience.
I’m glad I had friends around me
Im very intrigued how a slightly larger dose will be, to see visuals etc.
Some parts of the trip were exactly as I expected, some parts I don’t think I was ready for (the change of vision etc) and I’m glad I didn’t do a bigger dose to start with.

I take the train to work every day, pretty early in the morning, and my train ride is long, so I usually sleep on that train.
I have never missed my stop- apart from once.
It was a pretty gloomy day, raining and cold, and it made me sleepy as the train was warm, and I managed to get on it before it became too busy that I wouldn’t be able to get a seat.
I fell asleep as the train left the station and woke up as we stopped.
As I woke up and lifted my head from leaning against the window, I saw vast fields of wheat around the train, in the bright blue sky, with zero clouds.
No-one was in the train.
No-one.
I grabbed my suitcase and stepped out of the train, and into the field.
It was as if the train had driven over the field.
I yelled out, ‘hello?’ and received no response.
I headed back into the train and went from car to car looking for a person, but no-one was there. Looking up the entrance, it said on the screen, ‘Stopping at: The Fields’
I once again stepped out into the field, and walked for about 2 meters, when the train closed its doors, started moving.
I rushed back to the train, but it already started to leave.
Through the windows, I saw the announcement change from ‘Stopping at: The Fields’ to ‘Stopping at: Home’. Panicking, I started running after the train, but it started picking up speed, and soon it was gone.
I stood there on the tracks started following them, in the direction of the train, and walked for about a mile, but somehow, they just ended. The rust had gotten to them.
Where’d the train go then?’ I wondered.
I slouched down at the end of the tracks, stood up, and yelled ‘FUUUUCK’ while throwing my suitcase into the field.
I loosened my tie and kept walking.
About a meter into my walk, I heard a rustle behind me. Turning around, I saw my suitcase fly from the top of the field, back onto the track.
I stood there, frozen.
‘W-Who’s there?’ I said.
I turned back around to the sound of another rustle in the field, then back at where my suitcase SHOULD have been, but it was gone.
I started running as fast as possible down the tracks.
I heard a rustle again as I was running on either side of the field, like something was chasing me on both sides.
I stopped suddenly, and for a moment, the movement in the wheat kept going, then readjusted to where I was.
I stood frozen there as I realized an index finger was slowly revealing itself in front of me through the wheat.
I couldn’t stop staring at it.
Then it's open hand revealed itself slowly as I felt cold and dirty hands grasping my face and body, pulling me into the field with the rest of them.